Nigeria, Abuja.

***

In the memory, Aamirah is back in Sudan, in her original loving home sitting in her room and doing her assignments. Ya Ashraf has gone out, as usual to hang out with his friends while Amina is sleeping on the bed.

Suddenly, she heard the loud noises. Her heart is beating wildly against her chest, her hands are sweaty making her to jump up and move towards the loud sounds. She peeped through the door catching a glimpse of her mother and father exchanging words in the living room.

Aamirah has never seen this.

They have always been so in love and soft towards one another what could have prompt Mama to yell on the top of her lungs to her husband? Aamirah stayed by the door watching her parents argue.

She had prayed for Ya Ashraf to come home, maybe he will know what to do or how to intervene. She is completely clueless and shook. Until her father pushed Mama away causing her to fall on the floor. Aamirah gasped loudly, she started crying, instantly.

"Baba, sorry. Baba I am sorry. Please don't hit her!" She cried running to her mother.

"Subhanalilah, Aamirah? What are you doing here? Go back to your room!" Her father yelled.

"But.. baba sorry. Sorry" she stammered crying hard.

"It's okay Mimi na.. I'm fine. Go and stay with Amina" her mother comforted her sending her away to the room but the yelling never stopped. Weeks after, Baba had to leave the house for sometime.

Aamirah has never seen her father act that way. She was frightened to death, especially when her mother ushered her to pack her bags quickly. Even Ya Ashraf was asked to pack all his clothes in a big travelling bag.

Clueless as to what is going on, Aamirah and Ashraf obeyed their mother. They packed all their clothes and moved it to the living room.

"Mama, where are we going?" Aamirah asked confused.

"Nigeria" she answered briefly dressing Amina up.

"Nigeria? Where is that?"

Ashraf sighed deeply, "Oh! Mimi your so dumb! It's a country"

"Ya Ashraf stop calling me dumb!" She whined crossing her hands across her chest. "What are we doing there in Nigeria?"

"It's our home.. we are going back home" her mother answered. Before Aamirah could ask more questions about their impromptu trip, Baba walked inside the house. He glanced at the bags and his wife's nervous expression.

"What is this nonsense?!" He yelled making Amina to cry, frightened.

"Baba.. we are going to Nigeria!" Aamirah answered before her mother could.

"Nigeria?" He asked, "No one is going anywhere! Get back inside!"

Then, it happened so fast. One minute she is excited to go to Nigeria, her supposed home and the other her parents are fighting. Yelling on the top of her lungs. Screeching so hard, Amina is crying scared.

"I divorce you UmmulKhairi, leave my house, immediately!" Baba had stated.

"Alhamdulilah!" Mama exclaimed carrying Amina in her arms. "Thank you for showing me your true colors. Aamirah, Ashraf, carry your bags let's go!"

"I don't remember asking the kids to leave. I mean you, should go! Alone"

That is the only thing Aamirah heard, she stared crying immediately falling to the ground. "Mama! Don't leave me, Mama"

"Don't be heartless Abubakar, let my kids come with me!"

"They are my kids also"

"Mama!! Please stay" Aamirah cried harder. "I promise I'll be a good girl, I won't disturb you anymore. I will wash my plate when I finish eating"

"UmmulKhairi, leave!"

It is hard, very hard but after lots of pleading and crying, Aamirah watch as her mother carry Amina and some of their bags. She pulled Aamirah in a tight hug blinking back her threatging tears.

"Mimi, I'll be back for you, okay?"

"Maama don't leave me. Please, Mama, please. I want to go with you. I want to follow you"

"Aamirah, you heard your father. Please let me go Mimi na. I'll come and take you soon Inshallah. I love you so much, my baby"

With great difficulty, Aamirah let go of her mother. With tears blurring her eyes she watch as Ya Ashraf cried hugging his mother.

"Ashraf, take care of your sister. Take care of Aamirah.."

"I promise Mama. Will you come back for me?"

"Yes, I will"

Aamirah tried so hard to imprint her mother's face in her memory but now.. she can barely remember how Mama looks. She can't recall her favourite movie or how she talks, act and call out her name, Mimi na. Everything seems fuzzy.

She turned on the bed feeling the tears washing down her face, fast. Khaleel is nowhere beside her so she pulled herself up from the bed and decided to take a bath.

After cleaning up and changing into new clothes, she searched for Khaleel. All around the house but she didn't find even a glimpse of him.

Maybe he went out when she was sleeping! She concluded getting a broom and mop to tidy the house. Somehow, cleaning takes her mind off her many problems and memories hoping to be replayed. She cleaned up her and Khaleel's room first before moving to the living room where she made it sparkling neat.

It was then Khaleel returned. He unlocked the door expertly with the key and when their eyes locked, time froze.

Aamirah was the first to recover, she noticed he is dressed in his sweatpants and t-shirt while holding a white shopping bag in his hand so she moved to help him.

"Welcome home"

Khaleel smiled locking the door behind him.

"I don't know your favourite cereal" he said instead making Aamirah to stare at him confused.

"Cereal?" She asked.

"I don't even know your favourite colour.." Khaleel said moving closer to her.

"Or your favorite perfume"

Aamirah smiled at him. "You never asked me"

"That's because I wanted to know the whole you Mimi, your whole pieces. Now that I know all of that.. I want to know what makes you happy"

She bit on her lip thoughtfully trying hard to ignore the shivers running down her spine. It was on the tip of her tongue to ask him if he truly meant what he said. Does he really want to know her pieces? Or is he saying that just for saying sake? She ignored that thought replying him with something less harsh.

"I don't know anymore. I can't remember what it feels like to be happy and to love something so much. I'm learning though.." She said truthfully.

Khaleel nod his head, "Come let's sit"

Aamirah glanced at the mop waiting for her to use, she quickly looked away. Cleaning can wait! She moved to sit with Khaleel who pulled her into a big hug. At this point Aamirah concluded, this is her new favorite position.

"Batool told me about Ya Khadi" Aamirah said trying to cut through the thick silence.

"So.. I heard" He replied kissing her shoulder softly.

"And.. Raina"

He froze at that. Then gently he looked up to meet her eyes, "We all have missing pieces Aamirah, just some hide it well and others are brave enough to share it with the world"

"You've restored all my pieces"

Khaleel smiled, "Alhamdulilah" it was on the tip of his tongue. So close. He had almost said it. I love you, Aamirah. But something stopped him. What if Aamirah feels obligated to love him back because he restored her pieces. Or because she feels forced. Ya Rabbi! This is hard to think through.

"I've booked our tickets to Maiduguri" Khaleel said instead, trying not to get lost in her enchanting beauty.

"Ya Allah! Khaleel.. I don't know if I'm ready"

"Don't run Aamirah. You've been searching your whole life to find them.."

She inhaled sharply, "I don't know how I can face Mama knowing she is blind. Will she even accept me when she knows all that has happened? Innalilahi wa'ina ilayhi raji'un" she let the tears roll down her face.

"Mimi, stop, of course she will accept you"

"What if she blames herself? I'm not that strong Khaleel. I can accept the world's unasked opinion about how my virginity has been snatched away from me but I can't accept Mama blaming herself for my destiny"

Khaleel nod his head. "I won't promise you anything Aamirah but I want you to have faith and trust in Allah, everything will be fine.. okay?"

Aamirah bit on her lip.

"Mimi.. answer me"

"Okay" she hummed hugging him closer. They stayed there together, in silence until Aamirah's stomach started rambling and Khaleel had to answer a phone call.

When she made a quick brunch, plate of sweet potatoes and leftover kidney sauce, she bumped into Khaleel who came running towards her.

"Subhanalilah! You won't believe what just happened.." he gasped holding her in place.

"What?"

Khaleel gulped hard, "JamJam and Kabeer got married this morning"

Aamirah gasped. Out of all the things she expected, she wasn't ready to hear this news. Didn't Jameelah reject Kabeer's proposal months ago?

"MashaAllah! I'm so happy for them. May Allah bless their union.. but Aunty Kulthum is here. " Aamirah said.

"Yes, she missed the wedding. They didn't even tell anyone.. I don't think we will ever understand this two"

"Aunty Kulthum will be pissed"

Khaleel nod his head moving to seat on the dinning table where they both are their food. Khaleel was planning to visit Ya Maamah after eating but Aamirah dropped the bombshell on him. He froze, shocked to the greatest core.

"I can't keep this in me any longer.. I feel like a hypocrite if I keep thinking about this without letting you know there is.. a problem"

She paused before continuing, "I know it's hard to read or even digest but this is me Khaleel. How do you expect to know me when you won't even read my letters"

His heart dropped in the pit of his stomach. She has noticed!

"Aamirah.. it's.." he stammered because he knows very well that's the truth. He has been avoiding reading the letters because he doesn't want to know a part of her that has gone through so much. A part of her that was once broken.. into billion pieces.

"You don't have to explain yourself to me Khaleel.. it's okay" she forced a smile on her face standing up to clear the table.

Khaleel didn't say anything because no matter what, he knows Aamirah is saying the truth. He is running away from her past and refusing to acknowledge the fact that sometime ago, she was in pain, so much pain she lost herself in the process.

"I'm sorry for bringing this up. I don't ever want you to think you have to read my letters. That's not fair on you.." she inhaled deeply.

"It will be over soon, it's just a matter of time before I leave.. that was the deal all along"

His heart shattered in his chest.

While he was thinking so hard of how to express his love for Aamirah in a romantic way, she was counting down the days until she leaves.

Ya Rabeel Aalameen.

That's extremely heartbreaking so he stood up, picked up his car keys and phone and walked out the doors.

He hasn't felt this much pain in his heart ever since the last time he had a big fallout with Batool. It is all too much. Too much to think through.

How stupid of him to think Aamirah will magically fall in love with him..

It was all a contract to her! It has always been and that's how it's going to stay until he lets her go.. just like he promised.

In the end, he had restored Aamirah's pieces but somehow lost all of him and the biggest piece of him all..

His love for Aamirah.

***

Aamirah cannot believe how her conversation with Khaleel had ended. He stormed off on her.. just like nothing has happened when indeed something big happened. So big she can't believe she didn't dish this out to him sooner.

A part of her was hoping her assumptions were not true and that Khaleel was actually so busy he forgot to read her letters but now she knows, he has been avoiding them. He has been avoiding a part of her.. her true story.

How stupid of her to think even after everything, he will get over the fact that she was raped. Countless of times. She was snatched of her virginity, ripped off her dignity, just like that. Of course, it's something he can't forget.

Regardless, he pieced her together, she can't downgrade herself up to the point of being with someone who discards her story as not important. Nothing can change the fact that she has been damaged or she was raped or the fact that she is the version of Aamirah who is healing from long time traumatic experience.

It has happened, as much as she wishes it didn't happen there is nothing she can do to change it.

She inhaled sharply blinking back her unshed tears. Robotically, she opened the closet and packed her many clothes inside the travelling bag. Right now, she has better things to focus on. She has a mother to meet after oh, so many years and a baby sister to reunite with. She has a story to tell, a very long draining story to people who actually care and want to know. The whole story not just a part they like or wish to hear about!

Subhanalilah! Somehow, her thoughts keep leading back to him.

Khaleel.

He has utterly consumed her thoughts.

All of it!

She groaned out of frustration. She didn't fight so hard just to be with a man who doesn't accept the whole of her. Who doesn't accept her past, her broken pieces but just the side he likes. The side he wants!

At last, she gave up. Aamirah fell on the bed crying so hard. She has to admit, it hurts so bad. She has expected Khaleel to be her knight in shining armor, her peace, to be her favorite person who gets her but unfortunately he is not.

They might have had so many connections, so many strong, insane, captivating feelings but it's all for nothing. Nothing at all.

By the time she cried to her heart content, it is already time for Zuhr prayers so she walked to the bathroom to perform ablution. She fell in Sujood praying to Allah to ease her pain and bring so many peace and happiness in her life. She prayed for father, who undoubtedly crafted the path of her doom. She prayed for her brother, Ya Ashraf who is her favorite hero and who had a long life ahead of him. She prayed for Ya Khadi, the woman who she never met but feels connected to on so many levels. She prayed for Ya Zeezee, who fought so hard, so strong for her family. She prayed for all the deceased and for Khaleel.. she prayed for his happiness in life.

It was after she finished praying that it dawned on her. After all this years, she is meeting her mother tomorrow Inshallah. She is going to meet Mama, hug her, breathe in her scent and cry on her shoulders.

She can't wait to hear her laughter or hug her tighter or tell her all she has missed which isn't all rainbows and butterflies. She can't wait to cry on her shoulder, and tell her about her life after she left. Or how she coped when Ya Ashraf died. Or how she was so broken when she found out she was pregnant with her rapist child!

Ya Allah!

It is going to be one emotional reunion but she is excited for each and every moment.

Especially the moment where she will get to live with Mama, forever.

It will be just like she has dreamed for just that this time around, in the longing shadows of her sweet dream, a man so handsome and full of love is standing in all his glory.

She realized, he is her peace.

Ibraheem Khaleel.

***
Assalamualaikum..heyyy🙋🏾‍♀️

Guys.. I can't wait to hear your thoughts!!!! Pleaseee let me know what you think!!! Comment. let's gist.. it's been so long🥺

I guess now you've realized this is not a predictable book but anyways.. do you think Khaleel and Aamirah will end up together?🤭🤭

Team Batool & Khaleel or
Team Aamirah & Khaleel or,
Both🤷?!

Also I just realized I've been nominated as "writer of the year" in the AREWA WATTPADIANS AWARDS. PLEASE VOTE FOR ME. it will be such an honor to win. It's honestly such a gift that they even nominated me. Lol. I can't believe it 😂😂

Steps to vote;

- search for AREWA WATTPADIANS AWARDS.

- Go to the WRITER OF THE YEAR category

- And add +1 where my name is.

JazakhaAllahu Khairan.

W much love,
Ammarh💕