We walked in and I heard my name being called from the other room. Dad's voice didn't sound right. It sounded almost horse. I hoped it wasn't because he was mad about me going to the principal's office.

I walked cautiously into the living room and found him. His eyes were bloodshot. It looked like he had been crying.

"Daddy, what's wrong?"

"Go ahead and take a seat kiddo."

Tyler looked like he wasn't sure of what to do. "Should I leave you two?"

Dad shook his head, "No, I think Lexi will want you here for this."

Fuck, this was bad.

Tyler sat next to me on the couch.

"Dad?"

Dad swallowed hard and then seemed to just go for it. "Your mother, your birth mother... Amanda, was in an accident. A bad one."

That's it? He was crying over that bitch?

Tyler grabbed my hand like he heard something I hadn't.

"So Amanda's hurt? Or did she hurt someone else? Is Elyse okay?"

Dad knew that I refused to call Amanda anything but Amanda.

Dad shook his head, "Elyse is fine. Amanda got hit head on by a driver going the wrong way. They worked on her for over an hour once she got to the hospital but she didn't make it."

Didn't make it.

I felt Tyler put an arm around me. Was he trying to comfort me?

Didn't make it.

The words weren't sinking in.

She didn't make it. To the hospital? No he said they worked on her. Was she running an errand and was late?

She didn't make it.

Tyler whispered, "I am so sorry, Alex."

Tyler's voice sounded like it was an echo coming through a tunnel.

I looked blankly at my dad and said, "Thanks for letting me know."

My voice sounded robotic. It didn't belong to me. I didn't know what to do or what to say. So Amanda was what? Dead?

Dead. She was dead. That was it.

I just sat there.

"I talked to Elyse. Her current husband, Ray, is setting up everything for the funeral. They are setting it for Saturday morning. You can get on a flight on Friday night and then come back Sunday. Jordan called and let me know you are welcome to stay with her."

Jordan and my dad had a civil conversation? That was bigger news to me than Amanda dying.

"Wait, I'm going to Dallas?" I was confused.

Dad looked pained, "Yes sweetie. Ray wants all six of Amanda's kids there and has scheduled it so that you can be."

Fuck. I was going to have to see my half siblings. Two of them were a few years older than Elyse and two of them were a couple of years younger than me. Amanda had a pattern. She would get with a guy, have a couple of kids, and then bounce on to the next guy without the kids.

Mother of the fucking year.

The last one stuck though. I think she just got too old to have more kids or this guy was rich enough to make her happy. But she finally stayed put and actually got married. Her and my dad didn't even tie the knot until I was one. They had had a civil ceremony that had been annulled less than a year later.

"Can I take Laura or Elle or do I have to go alone?"

I was not in the mood to deal with this side of my family with just Elyse. She and Amanda had some semblance of a relationship. So I was sure she was going to be a wreck and I did not want to play the shoulder to cry on alone.

Dad nodded, "I will call Aunt Claire and see about getting both James and Laura a ticket. That sounds like a nice idea. I'll also call Jordan and make sure she is okay with housing a couple more teens for the weekend."

Score, two for one. I was happy to have both of my cousins possibly going with me for this shit show.

"Tyler and I have a ton of homework from English. Is it okay if we sit at the kitchen table and work?"

He nodded and we got up to go get started.

Tyler kept looking at me.

"You okay, Ty?"

"Uhhh, you okay Little H? You just found out your mom died and you're sitting here doing homework like it's a regular Monday."

Oh, shit. He didn't know the whole backstory.

He wasn't there when I had explained it out last year.

I shrugged, "She left my dad when I was two. He met my stepmom Jordan when I was five. She never even fought for visitation. I saw her maybe two or three times a year if it wasn't a holiday or a birthday. When Jordan and my dad split up, I actually begged her to fight for custody so that I could stay in Dallas. She said, 'Well honey, you know, I just think it would be better if you stayed with your dad' like gave zero thought to keeping me."

"She was still your mom, Lex. You might look at talking to Ms. Griffin tomorrow."

"I am not talking to the guidance counselor. Fuck that. Now do you want to work on homework or not?"

"Let's get to work."

We worked in near silence for the next hour and then I called it quits for the night. Tyler packed up and headed out. I had put my phone on the charger and when I went to look at it I saw I had a firestorm of texts. Some were from Elyse wanting me to call her, Patrick checking in on me, Elle, Laura, James, Jensen, and Cassie had all texted me too.

So dad had called Aunt Claire and the word was out. Nice.

Only one name surprised me on the list of texts, Ari.

It read, 'I know you weren't close to her but you're still in a club now that no one wants to be in. Dead Parents club sucks ass. Trust me. You might not know it yet, but give it time. That shit can hit in waves. I'm here if you need me, Gorgeous.'

Gorgeous.

Reading the nickname Ari had once used for me felt like a bullet going through my chest. The old wound felt like it was getting ripped open. I felt myself start to cry.

Why was I crying? Who cared if I wasn't his any more? Who cares that Amanda died? Who fucking cared?

I was full on sobbing into my pillow. I didn't want my dad to hear me and be worried. I crawled into a ball and sunk into an unrestful sleep.

Dreams of Amanda and Ari filled my head.

I woke up early the next morning to go for a run. I knew I would have to run again once I got to school for athletics but didn't care. I needed to work this out and the only way I knew how was to run. I made it five miles before I gave up trying and went back home.

I tried showering, blow drying, and straightening my long blond hair to distract me.

Looking in the mirror, I saw Amanda looking back at me. She had the same long blond hair. She prided herself on it. I went to my dresser drawer and grabbed a pair of scissors.

Moments later, half my hair was laying on the floor. I had gone from hair that was down to my waist to right below my shoulders.

And it wasn't quite even all over.

I began to have a panic attack.

What the fuck did I just do?

I called Laura and as calmly as I could, asked her to come over.

Ten minutes later she was. Her eyes widened when she saw what I had done.

Laura sat me down and I tried to remain calm. She was able to even out my ends into one length. It didn't look amazing but it didn't look like a five year old had just chopped my hair off either.

I looked it over again, "Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, Laura."

She gave me a hug, a very not Laura like move. "I'm here for you, Lex. My mom got me a ticket for Friday so we will go after we get out of school."

Friday. Fuck.

I started to cry, "Fuck! I was supposed to go on my first date with Tyler on Friday!"

Laura held me closer, "Honey, it's okay, I am sure he will be more than understanding."

I sobbed into her chest, "I don't want to deal with this Laur, this is such bullshit. I hated her. I fucking still hate her. Why do I have to do this?"

She stroked my hair and let me cry.

"Do you want to stay home today? I'm sure Uncle Tim would let you."

I shook my head no. Laura helped me hide the bags under my eyes and start to look human for the day before going back to her house down the street.

The doorbell rang, Tyler. I had convinced Dad to go to work today so I had been alone for the last twenty minutes and it made my skin itch.

I ran down the stairs and flung the door open. Tyler stood there looking like a teenage girls wet dream.

He wore a fitted long sleeve black shirt and a Toronto Maple Leafs beanie helped to maintain his long blond curls.

We had the same length hair now.

I wanted to hide mine under a beanie but I also didn't want anyone to know what had happened this morning. I had sworn Laura to secrecy. As far as anyone needed to know, I just got a haircut. My plan was to go to an actual hair salon after school so that I could get some layers put in. Until then It was in a short low ponytail.

I pulled him into a kiss. He seemed surprised and then matched my energy. He kissed me as I walked backwards and landed on my couch. One hand grabbed hold of my ponytail, holing me in place while the other pulled my leg and wrapped it around his waist. I felt his hand land on my ass and stay there.

I didn't mind it.

I wrapped my hands in his hair and started pulling at his shirt. I wanted it off.

Tyler started smiling and started to slow down with his kissing. He whispered in my ear, "We have time for that, Baby. Not yet. We're already late for school."

I pouted, "You're stopping me from making the next move?"

He smirked, "I know, I'm surprising myself too. But James would kill me if I fucked his cousin before I even took her on a date."

That made me laugh. "Who says I would go that far anyways?"

"See we haven't even had that talk yet. We need to keep taking it slow, Baby."

I nodded. He had a point. We got presentable again and headed to his truck.

Thirty minutes after school had started, we walked into the attendance office and got glares from the front desk lady.

"Is there a reason you two have missed almost all of first period?"

"My mother died." I deadpanned.

She rolled her eyes as if I had just made a bad joke.

"Young lady, that is nothing to joke about."

"Wanda, she's not joking," came a voice from around the corner. Ms. Stone came out from her office. She looked at Tyler, "I take it you were Alex's ride this morning?"

"Yes ma'am. It was a little bit of a struggle to get here this morning, as you might imagine."

I did my best to look pitiful and then looked at Wanda. She looked mortified. Ms. Stone came around to the front of the desk and gave me a hug.

"I am so sorry Alex. I never met your mother. She and your father weren't together by the time Logan and Dylan starting playing hockey together. I'm sure you're just devastated. Do you need to talk to Mrs. Griffin?"

I shook my head no. Aunt Claire obviously hadn't talked to the other parent about my mother or she would have known Amanda was just a step above an egg doner to me.

"No thank you, can I just get a pass to class please. Tyler and I have English next."

Wanda nodded her head fervently and handed us both passes.

Tyler wrapped his harm protectively around me and we headed to English. We waited outside for the 1st period to let out.

Ari was the first one out the door. He almost ran into me but stopped short. His eyes looked haunted. I recognized the look. I had the same one this morning when I looked in the mirror. I had a feeling ghosts from his past were haunting him today. He had lost his own mother years prior.

I gave him a weak smile and he did the same. Tyler let him by and we waited for the rest of the class to leave.

Ms. Colewood looked surprised to see me. I have a feeling my teachers had been notified about what had happened. She walked over quietly to me and said, "I fully understand if you need more time to complete last night's assignment."

I shook my head no, "I got it done. I might need an extension though for the weekend's work. I will be in Dallas from Friday until Sunday for a funeral."

She nodded and said, "Anything you need Dear, just let me know."

I opened my notes and class began. It was the start of one of the slowest days of my life.