If someone had asked me to discuss how my first week of school went, I wouldn't have been able to. I felt numb and I didn't know why. I went through every class period trying to act as normal as I possibly could.

That didn't stop the onslaught of stares I was receiving. They were all full of pity, and I fucking hated it.

What was I supposed to do? Explain to people that I had mommy issues? That I wasn't close with Amanda and that I really didn't care that she was dead?

But I did care.
I hated even more to admit that. It felt like a twisted ball of barbed wire was rotating in my chest every time her name popped into my brain. Every time someone asked how I was, her face would pop into my head and shred my brain into mush again.

So I stayed numb. I clung to it. I embraced it. It was the only thing keeping me from unraveling. No one understood this feeling.

Well, there was one person that I knew would understand.

But there wasn't a snowball's chance in hell that I would reach out to Ari Munro to talk about dead moms. Plus, he had loved his mom. Or I assumed he did. It was always the taboo subject that we never talked about. I wasn't sure if he would even want to talk to me about it. I wasn't willing to take that chance and end up shredded even further than I already was.

By Thursday I was bursting at the seams to just talk to someone else that understood somewhat of what I was feeling. Elyse cried any time I called her. Tyler would sit and listen, not that I said much about it. We just focused on all the homework Ms. Colewood was dishing out. She had already become my favorite class because at least I had a distraction. The first week of school was filled with bullshit filler content in most of my other classes. I had nothing to ground myself into so I spent the class periods staring off into space.

Ms. Griffin the guidance counselor kept checking in on me. The last thing I wanted to do was tell a sixty something year old lady about my mommy issues. It just wasn't going to happen.

I got to Film class early with Elle. Ari was already in his usual spot in the back of the class.
I looked at Elle, "Can we sit in the back today. I'm getting sick of feeling like I'm on display in the front row."

She smiled softly and nodded. Everyone was handling me with kid gloves and I hated it. I went and sat in front of Ari. Elle sat next to me. I heard him shift his weight and mumble uncomfortably.

"What brings you two back here?"

I turned around and deadpanned, "I thought this was where the kids with dead moms sat?"

Too dark?

A small smirk ran across Ari's face. Okay he still had a dark sense of humor. 

Good. I needed that.

"Won't your boyfriend freak out?"

"There's a bigger chance of your girlfriend throwing a tantrum."

Elle chimed in, "How about we all just keep our mouths shut and pray all the minions in here do the same?"

I nodded and turned back around.

Mr. Hale was talking about how to conduct an interview and different ways to film it. We were going to practice just the interview part today. He started calling out names as random pairs.

"Harrison and Munro."

Ha. Fuck.

Mr. Hale then announced the prompt for the day. 'Find a topic you both have in common. Base your questions off of that.' Find out why or how you have this subject in common, what you both like or dislike about it, and then come up with two other questions to ask your partner.

Elle looked at us both quizzically before moving to go sit with her own partner.

I looked back at Ari, "So uhhhh, what current and relevant topic do we have in common?"

Ari stifled a laugh, "Alex, we cannot do that to Mr. Hale. He's new. Poor guy doesn't know what can of worms he just opened."

"Oh come on Munro, when are we going to have a chance like this again?"

Ari winced slightly and I wondered if it was because of the topic or because I called him by his last name like Tyler always did.

"Okay, but you're coming up with the questions, I'm not asking you anything you're uncomfortable with, Gorgeous."

I rolled my eyes at the old pet name he had for me.

"Why do you still call me that?"

Ari shrugged, "I might have fucked up with us, but it doesn't mean I stopped caring."

That was an unexpected answer.

"What about Darcy? You two have been solid for a while now."

He frowned a bit then, "Let's stick to the topic at hand."

I wasn't going to push him. We prepared our questions and practiced our answers. Mr. Hale was going to have us share out what we learned.

"Ari, are you sure you want me sharing out some of these details? They're pretty dark."

"I mean, they happened. I am sick of acting like they didn't."

I had learned a lot more in the last thirty minutes than I had in the last year about the situation with Mrs. Munro. She had been on a manic high and then low for weeks before she died. The doctors were trying to get her to try out new medication. One day, Ari came home and found his mom blue and unresponsive. I also found out that because of her illness, they hadn't been close leading up to her passing and it still haunted him. He was also scared of ending up like her.

Ari learned of my backstory with Amanda and our sorted history. He learned of how much I had distanced myself from her and her other kids other that my sister Elyse. I told him about how angry I was about having to go to Dallas tomorrow after school.

We hadn't had this long of a conversation in almost a year. It felt cathartic. We started diverging off of our interview topic but only into safe zones. I talked about Jensen and Cassie and our friendship. He talked about the new camera he wanted to buy. Neither of us brought up our past or our current situations.

The bell rang and we wrapped up our thoughts. Elle was waiting for me by the door to walk out together. We were both going over to the Mason's to study.

"Well that looked like a productive conversation."

"It was."

"Did you two clear the air?"

"A little. We stuck to the assignment mostly."

"What topic did you two pick?"

I smirked, "You'll have to wait and see when we present tomorrow."

She rolled her eyes and we made it to Tyler's truck.

Tyler bent down to kiss me when I reached him. "Hey Baby. You have a good rest of your day?"

I nodded shyly. I wasn't sure how to tell him about getting paired with Ari.

"Mr. Hale paired her an Ari up for our first assignment. They're having to interview each other."

Thanks Elle.

Tyler didn't even flinch, "Is this one for Journalism or film?"

"Film. In Journalism we are learning about the types of stories we can cover. Interviews are next I think in there too."

"Seems like you're going to have a lot of overlap between those two classes."

"Doesn't help that Mr. Hale teaches both and I think he's a little overwhelmed. It's his first year."

"I'm sure there are plenty of female staff members that would love to help him out", Elle added in.

I rolled my eyes, "You ready to head out?"

We all went back to the Mason's and worked on homework until dinner time. Ms. Mason always insisted that everyone eat at the table like a family. Most of the teens looked at each other when Miri came downstairs and had Darcy with her.

Well this just got awkward.

Darcy looked like she'd been crying.

She saw me and I saw the familiar flame of misdirected anger get lit. Brenna did the same thing when Tyler dumped her.

Oh, God, here it comes.

But Miri grabbed her by the elbow and pulled her down to the other end of the table. Crisis averted for the moment. At least Miri was smart enough to know when she was out numbered. I wanted to text Ari and see if my suspicions were true but Mrs. Mason insisted on no phones at the table.

I always happily complied. I loved the little 1950s nuclear family she was trying to create. It was genuine. She just wanted her kids and their friends to be happy and safe. Jordan had been the same way and I missed it. Eating reheated pizza alone in my room wasn't exactly my idea of family dinner.

I sat as far as I could from Darcy and Tyler sat in such a way that I was basically hidden from her view. Elle on seemed to have the same feelings as me. She sat across from me. She gave me a very pointed look. I gave her a raised eyebrow trying to confirm and she shook her head.

So maybe he didn't dump her?

We all ate in relevant silence. Mrs. Mason had picked up on the tension and was not pushing us for conversation. Once Miri and Darcy finished their food they asked to be excused and Mrs. Mason seemed happy to oblige. She took her own plate to the sink and we followed. We were all silent until we were safe again in the basement.

Elle made a phone call to get the details.

"They had a fight. She found out about him and Alex being paired up in Film class and got butt hurt. She started accusing him of cheating on her and he wasn't having it and hung up on her."

"She's so fucking dramatic." Tyler added, "Y'all should hear some of the shit her and Miri talk about. It makes me want to put sharpened pencils in my ears."

"She's a kid, what do you expect?" I quipped. "I actually feel bad for her."

Everyone looked confused by that statement.

"Why?" Elle spoke for the room.

"No offence Elle but I have been on the receiving end of a break up with your brother. And fights for that matter. He's not great with them. Does he even actually like her?"

That was one question I had been keeping to myself. I wasn't sure I even wanted to know the answer. I wish I hadn't said it.

Elle shrugged, "Honestly I have no idea. With you, he was very open with me about his feelings. I could read him like a book. With her, I have no idea. He gets guarded the second the topic of her comes up. Like he thinks I'm judging him."

I just nodded, "Well I hope he does. They've dated long enough, it'd be cruel if he didn't."

Tyler put an arm around my shoulder and squeezed. "You all packed up for tomorrow?"

I nodded, "Yeah. Dad is taking James, Laura, and I to the airport after school. I'd rather be at your set."

"We have another gig in two weeks. Perks of being one of the house bands. Next weekend, we're going out on that date."

That made me smile.

I leaned up and gave Tyler a small peck on the lips. He smiled back and kissed the top of my head. It felt nice to just become Jell-O next to him. He absorbed my weight and let me cling to him.

 I headed home probably later than I should have. I needed to actually finish packing and getting mentally prepared for this weekend. It was going to be rough and I didn't want to think about it. Once I shoved enough clothes into a bag for the weekend I got ready for bed and escaped into oblivion.