It had taken Millie almost two weeks to get enough courage to seek Max out and talk to him. What she'd done, the promise she'd made to Freider to marry him could not be kept a secret, and she didn't have the luxury of time. With every passing day, she was sure her pregnancy was actually starting to show.

Obsessively, she stood in front of the mirror each morning, sucking her stomach in, wondering if it looked bigger every time she let it go. 

It had to be done and fast. The wedding, the announcement, telling her family... So she was ready for a harsh, heavy conversation in which her twin would probably freak and give her a million reasons why this was a bad idea. What she hadn't been ready for was finding him in the middle of packing.

"What are you doing?" she asked, blissfully distracted from what she had to do.

Max only faltered for a fraction of a second before throwing more things into his camping backpack. "I'm going to Texas."

"What? Why are you going to Texas?"

"You suddenly care?" He turned to her, a deep frown on his face. "Where have you been over the past few weeks? I've talked to the other girls. I know you're barely here."

"Of course I care! And that's why I'm here. To tell you where I've been and everything that happened over the past few days. But first explain Texas."

He growled and returned to his luggage. For a few minutes, there was nothing but silence between them, punctuated by the sound of fabric being shoved unceremoniously into tight spaces. Millie didn't want to be the one who caved, so she waited. But time seemed to be smothering her again. It appeared that, just like time, she didn't know how to wait anymore.

"I won a stretch of land at poker," Max suddenly said.

"You did?"

"Quite a few acres, actually." He turned to her with a sigh. "So I'm going out there to check it out and take care of the formalities."

"I... I can't believe it." They'd always been on the lower end of middle class, bordering on poor, so the idea of Max, who wasn't even eighteen, owning acres of land in Texas was hard to swallow. It was both exciting and terrifying.  "What are you supposed to do with it?"

"I don't think I'm supposed to do anything with it. I just want to see it before I decide anything. Could be a nice place to build a house."

"A house?" The idea of it was even stranger than bare land.

"Yes, Millie, a house. What have I got going for me here anyway? At least there, I have something. A foundation to build up from."

"But what about school?"

He huffed. "I can go to school anywhere. It's becoming pretty obvious it won't be here. Nothing's happening. I don't think Saint Agnes is opening back up or if they care enough to enroll us somewhere else on the basis of the scholarship we already had. Most of my mates are transferring to other schools, but unlike us, they can afford the good stuff."

"Shouldn't we transfer, too?"

"Where?"

She had no answer to that. "We can't be drop-outs."

"I don't think school's that important in the long run. All that matters is that we make a future for ourselves. And I feel like I've been given that opportunity. You are, of course, more than welcome to come with me." He gave her a knowing look. "I think that would fix most of your problems."

"I can't."

And it hurt because he had no idea how right he was. In a world in which she wasn't carrying a kid around. The thought of losing Max had her stomach clenching. She rubbed her arms and looked away, trying to calm her racing heartbeat. She didn't like this at all. Even if he mostly kept to himself, he was a constant in her life, someone she could always turn to. Someone who'd always called out her nonsense.

"Can I hear it now, then? Where you've been, what you've been doing, and why you can't come with me?"

Her teeth clenched, but she had to say it anyway. "I'm getting married. That's why I can't come with you."

Max blinked, and for a few seconds, he just stared at her, stunned. When he moved again, it was with an uncertainty that made her think he was trying to gauge whether he was drunk.

"You're getting what now?"

"Married." Her throat was incredibly dry, but she forced the word out. It seemed to stick to the roof of her mouth.

"You, the girl who less than a year ago never had a boyfriend, are getting married."

Heat crept to her cheeks. "Why does that matter?"

"And let me guess. You're not getting married to Davyn."

"Of course not!"

Max groaned again, but it sounded more like a growl. "What are you doing?"

"Look, I love Freider."

"You also loved Davyn and a few days later fell in love with Freider. Supposedly."

Her first impulse was to scream at him, tell him that he had no idea what he was talking about, and that there was no supposedly about anything, but she couldn't. This was the image that she wanted the world to see, and she had to deal with it.

"Freider is much better for me."

Max pursed his lips, obviously trying to keep more scathing words in. "Fine, maybe I can't judge that. But I can judge you announcing to get married to someone else three weeks after you broke up with your boyfriend."

"It's not like that. I knew Freider beforehand. We were friends." And that's the only thing she had.

"Are you sure that's it?" He narrowed his eyes and stepped closer.

"Yes! Why are you giving me the third degree?"

"Because you're not even eighteen yet and after dreaming about a career you suddenly decided you want to play house. Do you think Maman is going to let you do this?"

"I'm getting married in February, after I turn eighteen, so Maman won't have a choice." The words burned. They burned her throat, her eyes and her sanity. She couldn't believe she'd directed that type of snark at her mother, but the affirmation was true.

That was the plan. Get married the day after her birthday. This way, no one could stop her. 

Max didn't say anything, just stared as if she'd gone insane. Which was true on some level. She could only imagine what he'd say if he found out she was pregnant.

"What about your dreams, Millie?" His voice was low and subsided, and it hurt her more than if he would've shouted. "Your music and your art. Is Freider willing to move to New York with you? If not, would he let you go?" His eyes narrowed again. "Are you doing this for money?"

"What? No! I can't believe you would think that of me!" Though it wasn't worse than the real reason she was marrying Freider.

He mulled her answer over for a few moments before turning away again. "At least that would've made some sense."

"Why are you being like this? Maybe my dream is to have a family?"

"Since when? You always wanted to be independent."

Tears filled her eyes as her old life threatened to smother the new one. The pretend one. The one she wanted so much to be real and hers.

"Well, maybe I know better now. You should support me, not try to bring me down."

Max let out a deep breath. "I can't support you through stupid stuff. But I won't turn my back on you either. Just... Good luck telling Maman."

"Did you tell her you're leaving?"

"No, but I do plan to swing by home when I get back and tell her what I've found. Worse come to worst, we can always sell it and just have some extra cash."

Extra cash sounded good. The thought came with a pang of guilt. If she married Freider, she would no longer be poor or want for anything. It was the best she could do for her baby.

"Let me know how it goes."

"Of course I will. If it's something good, I won't shut up about it."

"Unless you lose it at poker."

"I swear that if this works out for me, I'll give up on gambling for good."

"Yeah, whatever." Normally, she would have encouraged him to do it. She'd always hated that he played cards for money. But if he did, if he sorted his life out, it would leave her the failed one.

It's not failure if it looks genuine to others.

She would be fine.

♣

"Millie."

The distress in her mother's voice almost brought tears to Millie's eyes. But she'd prepared herself for this.

"It's fine, Maman, I know what I'm doing."

The line crackled, as if it too cried at the thought of her downfall. She held the receiver tighter, pressing it against her ear so hard that it hurt.

"Cherie, you're so young," Sophie finally said.

Yes, she was. Young, naïve, and completely unprepared for what life had thrown at her. She'd fallen for so many tricks it was a wonder she still had any dignity left. But now it was her turn to be the one who controlled the narrative.

"Does it really matter? I love him. I know that we'll be happy together."

"I surely hope so, too. But he's young as well. Maybe it's best for both of you to wait until you at least finish college."

And here came the amazingly hard part. Because Millie was aware Sophie would buy her sudden extreme infatuation and desire to get married. The disappointment was more geared at the timing, not the act itself. But that was only because she trusted that Millie loved Davyn and that they would, in the end, be happy together. That future had shattered the moment he'd chosen to become Snitch Gravel.

Anger at him flared through her. It was his fault that she was now in this position, having to tell her mother the truth.

"He's out of college, already has a career. Oh, Maman, I... I'm sorry. So much has happened lately, I forgot to tell you. It's not Davyn."

The silence on the other end of the line was cold and cutting like the sharpest ice. She gritted her teeth and shut her eyes, wishing time would just end, and she wouldn't have to wait any longer.

"Maximillianne, what are you doing?" came the whispered question.

"Don't take it like that, Maman. I've known him for a while. He's a wonderful man, and we're truly in love."

"Less than three months ago, you were truly in love with Davyn."

"He wasn't who I thought he was."

"And this one is?"

Millie cringed. "Yes, I'm sure of it. And we're already engaged. I truly want to do this. I'm sure of it."

"You're seventeen, Cherie. Look, maybe you should come home. What happened to the school most definitely affected you, especially since you got hurt. Maybe you feel as if life is short, but it's not. You have years and years ahead of you. Decades. You don't have to rush into this."

"You're disappointed." Her voice trembled, but she couldn't help it.

"Come home."

She hadn't said the words, but it was in her voice. Something in their relationship cracked, and Millie had no idea how to fix it. Anything she could say, and especially the truth, would only deepen the chasm between them.

"Max is leaving, too, you know."

There was a short pause. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"His life is changing, too. And I bet you're not giving him a hard time about it."

"I'm not giving you a hard time!" There was anger in her mother's voice now. "I'm just trying to stop you from doing something insane. You're much too young to get married now. And to a man you've just met."

"Max won land in a poker game, and I bet you didn't tell him to stop gambling and come home," she said, her voice drowning in tears. "I bet you're not even upset that he didn't tell you anything."

"If you must know, he did tell me. But the fact that he's made some poor decisions as well does not excuse yours. This is your future!"

"Exactly! My future! Not yours! I'm getting married once I turn eighteen and you're free to come or not, your choice. I'll call you again later." And she hung up the phone.

The pain inside her chest seemed to smother her, and she let herself slide down the wall and onto the cold kitchen floor. If Sophie was so disappointed now, she'd definitely lose it over the news of the pregnancy. This was better. The lesser evil. Let her at least think that Millie had her life together.

But it wasn't easy to pretend. She tried to spend as much time with Freider as possible, get used to him, and accept his affection. It was still so hard. Every time he carresed her, she had to fight the urge to shudder. Every time he kissed her, she felt like gagging.

And when they made love. That was the hardest part of it all. She had to imagine it was Davyn not to cry through the whole thing. But then, thinking about him... It made it harder to break away, to turn him into an ugly mistake and shove him in the past where she belonged.

Everything was shrouded in pain and fear. But she had to pull through. It would all settle down once she was married. Then, she would have the perfect house, the perfect husband, and a baby on the way. There was no way her mother or anyone else could think she was a failure then.

She'd show them. She'd show them all.

♣️♣️♣️

Well, no one is happy about what Maxi is doing. Not even Maxi. But she dares dream of a perfect home.

Some of you already know how that ends up. For the ones who don't... You get to see it in all its twisted glory.

Thanks for reading and all your support.