Millie woke up in complete darkness, her entire body aching, as if someone had stepped on her with iron boots and left her on the floor.

It took her panicked mind a few minutes to gather the mess inside herself and morph it into a coherent progression of events. The fact that it was a twisted nightmare didn't help. Once the memories fully returned, she took in a sharp breath and placed her hands over her belly.

The doctor said her baby was safe. They had both escaped death that day.

A choice. She had a choice.

The truth was, she didn't. Not anymore. The moment she'd thought she could've lost the baby, she realized she couldn't bear it if she did. Despite the dire circumstances, she could never do anything to hurt it. It was too late to take back what she'd done now. What they'd done.

Tears streamed down her face, and her hand twitched to grab the remote and turn on the TV again to witness what Davyn had done. The death and destruction. She shouldn't have let him leave, she should've held on tighter, insisted that he change his ways. The weight of what had happened pressed on her shoulders, and she felt it was her fault on some level.

Everything she'd done. It had all been a mistake. From walking in on him training, to cutting the wire to the sound system. It was at that moment, when she felt guilty, that she gave him the chance to wiggle into her soul. She'd been insane to go to the swimming pool with him. Insane to kiss him and wrap herself around him when she knew he was trouble.

He'd warned her. Ever since they first met, he'd constantly warned her. When she thought they should be more, he'd tried to keep her away. Because he knew. He knew what he was. And now she was part of this, almost as guilty as him.

Drugs, extortion, bullying. Weapons. And now the fire which fascinated him, consuming everything she ever knew. In the back of her mind, she became aware that she'd just lost all her things in the fire. At least everything that wasn't in Davyn's apartment. Would it get worse? Could it?

Vomit climbed up her throat, and she sat up to push it back. Her head throbbed. There was a tube coming out of her hand, linking her to an IV. She couldn't be tied down here, she needed to move.

The IV was fortunately on a support she could roll away from the bed, so she pushed herself to her feet. The tiles were cold, but she stepped towards the window with wobbly steps and glanced outside.

The darkness was fading, a thin line of light visible over the skyline. The night was making way to a new dawn, and here she stood, battered and broken, her life in tatters. What was she supposed to do? What, when she'd built her entire future around him? Ever since she fell in love with him, it had all been about him. Even her dreams took a backseat. Her dreams which were no longer possible because she was pregnant with his child.

And now... He'd left to hide. He'd lied to her and done the unthinkable. The unforgettable. The pain was so intense, it felt as if she had no heart at all. No hope and no love. Nothing. She had nothing, and she was nothing.

Tears slid down her cheeks as her gaze stayed on that little sliver of light.

She'd never felt so small and helpless in her life.

Her insides twisted, and she tightened her hold around the IV stand. The cold metal managed to ground her a little, even if she felt as if she were drowning in her love for him.

"This can't be love," she whispered. "Love is patient, love is kind." It was love, but a love that was lost, singed by the flames that had burned all her worldly possessions.

The flames and the crowd that had almost killed her and her baby.

"I'm alive." The words were filled with pain and tears. Was this how it would be for the rest of her life? Feeling small, guilty, and unimportant, wallowing in self-pity? He'd been so careful to convince her that she needed his approval, that he was her inspiration and her muse. That she would never amount to anything without him.

Something shifted inside her as she forced her body to straighten and she pushed her chest out.

This wasn't her fault. She couldn't punish herself for Davyn's choices, for the things she'd tried to prevent. Being Snitch Gravel was his choice. Hurting and killing people was his choice. She couldn't control that anymore than she could control the weather.

The only thing she had control over was her own fate. Her story. And even if the cards she'd been dealt were dire, she would make them work. She would take what she still had, and she would twist it around.

She would not be a failure. She just had to switch her goal to something that made sense now. Her hand rested on her stomach. Write herself a new story in which she wouldn't be a disappointment to her family and a failure. She could still have a happy ending, and it was up to her to get there.

It was time she took back her life and rearranged it in a way that made sense for her. Love was dead. It didn't mean she had to be, too.

So she gritted her teeth and buried her pain as deeply as she could. She could still salvage her life, and he wouldn't let Davyn ruin it like he'd ruined everything else.

She would raise above it all. And she knew exactly how to do it.

The sun rose over the tallest building, throwing a golden shine around her, like a confirmation that there was still hope in the world.

♣️

Millie knew Doctor Reynolds had called her mother once he got all her details, and she was ready for it. She only hoped she'd manage to get a little more done before she arrived. If everything went according to her new plan, she wouldn't even have to crush Sophie's heart.

She wasn't disappointed. The moment visiting hours began, Freider was back by her side, a bag filled with snacks at a ready.

"How was your night?" he asked, placing yogurt and bananas on her nightstand.

She just whimpered and wrapped her fingers around his forearm, applying the tiniest amount of pressure. He immediately dropped what he was doing and half-sat next to her on the bed, looking down at her with worry in his eyes.

"Maxi?"

She looked away. "I'm sorry. It's just..."

He placed his hand on her shoulder and squeezed lightly. "I know it's been a lot, and you have every right to feel vulnerable right now."

"I do." She leaned into him, resting her head against his chest. "It's so frightening. I keep remembering the mob and the flames. Being stepped on."

He wrapped both arms around her shoulders and squeezed her against him. It felt good to have someone holding her. It gave her strength more than anything had in a while.

"You're safe now," he whispered.

She did feel safer with him there. He was someone willing to do so much for her. Even if she'd fought against it, she no longer saw the point. She deserved the comfort after everything she had been through. She deserved to no longer just give, but take as well.

"You saved my life."

He shifted, as though a little uncomfortable. "I'm just glad I was there."

"What were you doing there anyway?"

His hold on her tightened for a second before he let her go altogether. She hated it.

"I'm not sure I should say. It's very unpleasant and you don't need this right now."

Yes, she did. She needed to be there for him, just like he'd been there for her. So she took his hand and gave him a small smile.

"Don't worry about it. I want to be there for you, too."

Freider just watched her for a few minutes, the uncertainty in his eyes leaving room to something that looked a lot like affection. She'd counted on it and now wanted to see exactly how deep it went, if the solution she was considering was feasible.

"You remember me mentioning that I was coming to school so often because of my brother." He sat in silence for a few moments, and her heart started pounding.

The chanting of the crowd rang in her ears. Murder. Death. "Is he...?"

Freider flinched a little, but shook his head. "He's not dead, if that's what you mean, but it was very close. And some dumb kids thought he was and shouted it all over school and..."

"I'm so sorry to hear that!" And she couldn't believe everything had started with Freider's brother. It was like fate had gotten bored with stringing facts and decided to tie them all up close together.

"He'll be fine. At least I hope he'll be fine." His entire demeanor changed, catching a threatening air which had her pulling away. "It's that damn Snitch Gravel."

This time, she truly shuddered. "Excuse me?"

"His drug dealings inside the school. Selling drugs to middle graders. He's the reason my baby brother is like this." The fire in his eyes seemed to die down once he looked at her. "He's the reason you're in this bed. Ron didn't deserve this, and neither do you."

A sob escaped her lips, and she wrapped her arms around him and buried her face in his chest. His words hurt, but it didn't make them less true. Whatever Davyn had truly tried to do, it didn't matter. The consequences were dead people and OD-ing kids. If he ever wanted to do any good by taking over Harkin's work, he'd failed.

But had he really? The most competent and well organized man she'd ever known... Could he have failed? Or had it all been an act to get him here, to the point where his name was a fearful whisper on everyone's lips?

"I'm so sorry you had to go through this," Freider said into her hair.

"I'm sorry about your brother, too. I hope he'll be fine."

"I hope so, too. I just..." He looked down at her, and he was so close.

Panic grabbed hold of her for a moment before, like a rush of water escaping from a damn, all her thoughts came swirling to the forefront again.

What Davyn had done. How there was no return because she would never accept or forgive him for what he'd done. The lies. The helplessness. Her chance to change her story. She didn't have to keep blaming herself. She could rise above it and chose a new life for herself.

A determination like she'd never felt before wrapped itself around her heart and paralyzed the fear and the pain. She was going to take back her life.

So when Freider leaned even closer, she didn't pull away. When his lips brushed against hers, a shiver ran down her spine, but she didn't pull away. Instead, she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back.

It was hard. Different. She'd never kissed anyone except for Davyn before. He knew exactly how to touch every inch of her. Freider was assertive. Not unpleasant but strange. After a few seconds, it became a lot more natural.

Then, he pulled back and took in a shuddering breath. "I..."

"It's okay," she whispered, and she kissed him again.

This time, he wrapped his arms around her, too, holding her tightly against him. The hard lines of his body, even if unfamiliar, grounded her, gave her a sense of safety. His kiss no longer felt foreign. If she did it enough times, she could drown out what she knew, what she loved. The perfect one for her would no longer be perfect.

Tears filled her eyes, but she didn't pull away. She needed this. To save herself and to save her baby.

When they pulled apart this time, Freider leaned his forehead against hers, his breathing a little labored.

"This changes everything," he whispered.

She agreed. It did change everything. It changed her life and her fate. She could do this. Save her dignity and her future and come out with her head held high. Not be a failure in the eyes of everyone she loved.

The door opened, and they both jumped. Millie's heart thundered, and for a wild moment, she was sure that Davyn had returned and would smite her and Freider into oblivion. But it wasn't Davyn. It was just Max.

He'd frozen in the doorway, staring from her to Freider. Relief overtook her, and she let out a deep breath.

"Max! I was afraid something might have happened to you!"

"No, I'm fine." His gaze didn't stray from Freider. "But you're obviously not."

Crap. She couldn't let him start blabbing about Davyn. She needed a distraction. "Max, this is Freider. And this is my twin brother."

It worked. Max now seemed curious about the weird name and momentarily forgot how he'd found them.

"Interesting name."

"Right back at you," Freider said. "I mean, Max and Maxi. Your parents must've had a field day."

Max just raised his eyebrows, not commenting on the nickname. "Can I talk to my sister?"

"Sure. I need to go check on Ron anyway." Freider stood, and Millie hoped she was just imagining the stiffness in his posture. "I'll see you later." This time, his voice was much softer, and her hoped returned.

"Um, am I missing something?" Max asked the moment the door closed behind Freider.

He was missing so much. For a fleeting moment, Millie considered confiding in him about everything, but she was sure her twin wouldn't keep a pregnancy secret from their mother. He'd be against her plan, and she was already skating on thin ice. She didn't need him being an additional obstacle. So she just shrugged.

He walked to her and sat on the bed. "What about Davyn?"

"Davyn and I broke up."

His jaw dropped. "When?"

A few hours ago, inside her head and her heart. When his actions had almost gotten her and their child killed. "A while ago."

"You didn't mention anything." His eyes drifted towards the door. "Is that your new boyfriend?"

"Maybe."

"Isn't he a little old for you?"

"He's just a few years older." It didn't matter either way. The older, the better. This way, he could take care of her and would be ready for an impending baby. Maybe he'd even want it as long as he didn't know it wasn't his.

"Millie..."

"This is my life, my decision, and my heart. So, as much as I love you, stay out of it."

Max frowned and stood. "You're my sister. I have to look out for you."

"No, you don't. You need to mind your own life." Her voice cracked.

He squinted at her, and she looked away, afraid her expression would give too much away.

"What really happened with Davyn?"

"What do you care?"

"I care because you were happy with him. I could believe you were in love and forgive him his many faults. I don't get that from you and what's his name."

"His name is Freider."

"I don't give a shit what his name is. It doesn't answer my question."

The question was painful because Max had read her right. She'd truly been in love with Davyn. She didn't feel that way towards Freider. Not even close. But truth be told, she never wanted to be in love again. She didn't need that kind of vulnerability, the obsession, and the sheer lack of sense. She should know better from now on.

And yet, everything hurt, and each breath was just a reminder of what had happened and what he'd done. Of what they'd done before of this. Of how much she would miss him, even if he deserved nothing but her hatred. Tears filled her eyes again and she felt as if she were suffocating in misery.

"Millie!"

"Davyn did this, alright?" She indicated her body in the hospital bed, her filter cracking under the pain. "He caused the riot, the looting, the deaths. The fire! It's all his fault."

"What?"

"Davyn is Snitch Gravel, Max. It was all him, all along." Tears streamed down her face with both pain and relief. It felt good to lay it out in the open in front of someone she trusted, someone who knew how much it meant to her.

Max froze, and for a moment, it seemed as if he wasn't even breathing anymore. "Are you serious?"

She could still take it back, but she didn't want to. She wanted someone to know. She wanted to have someone to share this burden with, so instead, she nodded.

He let out a low whistle. "Damn, I knew he was intense, but... I mean... Fuck!" He started pacing, clasping his hands behind his back.

If he was so harassed now, Millie was glad she hadn't mentioned she was pregnant, too. It still felt so surreal, it was hard to even think, let alone say out loud.

"Damn, I actually liked him."

"Wait, you did?" This was very inappropriate news to give her right when she was trying to purge him out of her life.

"Well, yeah. He was always dark and brooding, but he had this cool air about him, like he could do anything he put his mind to." He stopped his pacing and sunk his hands in his hair. "Which I guess he did. How could he pull off all that shit?"

Because he was brilliant and perseverent and evil. "Tell me about it."

Max began pacing again, deep in thought. The movement relaxed Millie for some reason. Maybe it was having her brother there and seeing him care so deeply for her. Her stomach tightened. No, she didn't want to disappoint him either with how stupid she'd been. It was a secret she couldn't share with anyone. She'd make it work. Pull through. She just had to be smart for a change and very careful.

"Millie, this is bad." He stopped again, his forehead creased with concern.

"I know it's bad! He killed people!"

"No. I mean you and..." He frowned as if trying very hard to remember. "Freder?"

"Freider. And why is it so bad? He saved my life. If he wasn't there, I would've been trampled to death."

Max sucked air through his teeth and looked away.

"Plus, I've known him for a while. We've been friends for months before this."

"Millie, can't you see? Does Davyn know about you two?"

She huffed. "No."

"What will happen when he finds out? If you're right and he did this, and I believe you, then what is he going to do when he sees you with someone else."

She hadn't thought about that. A sliver of fear ran down her spine.  What would Davyn say when he returned and she was gone? Would he even return after what he'd done? But even if he did, Freider could protect her. He was older and cared about her. Unless Davyn had him killed by his much older goons.

"I think you should think this through a bit better," Max said.

She couldn't. It would ruin everything. Again. Davyn appeared dead set on ruining her life. She didn't have the time to play it smarter.

"He'd have to find me first."

Max let out a bitter laugh. "And how long do you think it would take him?"

"I don't know. It depends how long he'll have to keep dodging the police."

"Millie, I'm worried about you."

"And what would you have me do, Max? Go back to him?"

"No, definitely not. But..." He sunk his hands in his hair again. "Fuck, this is so twisted. Maybe we should just go back home."

No, it would destroy her plan. "Where he'd find us immediately?"

"You have a point there." He dropped his hands and his expression morphed to one of indifference. "They don't know what to do with us yet, by the way. There are rumors flying around that Saint Agnes will close for good and we'll need to transfer to other schools for the remainder of the year. For the ones in the dorms, they have no solution. I'm bunking up with some friends. I think you should come with me. It would be harder for Davyn to track you that way."

Max made a perfect point, so she nodded. She did need a place to stay and she needed to get her stuff from Davyn's apartment as quickly as possible. At least she still had some of her belongings.

"I can't believe this happened," Max muttered.

She couldn't either. But she would have to make do with what she had and trudge out of the mud. She would no longer be a victim, overdependent on a man who had warned her against him multiple times. Even if he'd left her in the worst position, she would pull through and she would make something out of herself.

The rest of the world could just watch.

♣️♣️♣️

And Millie now has a plan. She's not getting rid of her baby, just trying to hide it and save her sanity. Freider appears a valid solution.

But Max has a point. Davyn would definitely not take this lying down. Which makes things a lot more interesting, doesn't it? Stick around and see how this plays out!

Thanks so much for your support and don't forget to vote and comment!