Millie had no idea what was happening, at what point her life had turned from minding her own business and practicing for Julliard into kissing some random guy she didn't even like much in a swimming pool.

But as much as she told herself otherwise, he wasn't a random guy. It was the guy she had ensured she'd be there for, the one who promised the same thing back. The one who, for some reason, she let get away with all the nastiness because she knew there had to be something good inside him.

And apparently, there was. At least the way he kissed, which had shivers running down her spine, warmed her body more effectively than anything ever could. For a ill-fated second, she'd allowed herself to admit that he was attractive, and it was all it took for their tentative friendship to turn into this.

She liked this, she didn't need the friendship. Friends were overrated. As was breathing.

She needed to breathe.

It was the only reason she pulled away, gasping for air. Somewhere along the way she'd wrapped her arms around his neck. He still had his hands on her thighs and the way he watched her, the haze in his dark-blue eyes, it only made her want to kiss him again, never stop. Because it shut him up and ensured that she only saw the good side of him. His looks and his ability to turn the fire on inside of her.

This time, it was him moving in close, searching for her mouth, exploring and holding her closer, moving his hands to her back, to the string of Diana's tiny bikini. She drew a sharp breath as his fingers started playing with it.

He pulled back, a grin on his face. "Relax, I'm not going to undo it."

She believed him, but still couldn't relax. Without the intoxicating kissed, what she'd just done finally caught up with her. Her heart pounded so hard, it drowned out everything else. A part of her couldn't believe what had just happened. The other part just wanted to escape sanity and kiss him again. A mild panic attack made her breathing shallow.

"Hey." Davyn frowned, but his voice was soothing. It was an inflection she'd never heard before, and it made her even warmer if possible. "What's wrong?"

Nothing was wrong.

Everything was wrong.

She was still in his arms and too afraid to let go and get out because then she'd drown and she couldn't believe she'd just had her first kiss in a swimming pool with the guy she was convinced was jerkiness and insensitivity personified.

"I... I..." Her jaw trembled too much and she couldn't speak.

She had to get some words out. It was the end of a kiss, of her first kiss, and it couldn't turn into her blubbering and crying becauss she had no idea what to do with the feelings inside her chest.

It was so much, and yet, not enough.

She wanted more, so much more. But she couldn't say that. Apparently, she couldn't say anything.

Oh, God, this was turning into a disaster.

Davyn looked really concerned now and he moved through the water with ease, towards the edge of the pool, carrying her along towards safety. With the fear of drowning gone, the consequences of her inability to produce any words completely took over

What if he thought he'd sucked and that was why she was panicking? What if he thought she sucked?

"Millie?"

"I'm sorry, I'm..." Gah, she needed to get out of the water. She couldn't remain stuck to him for another moment. This was like sensory overload, ready to explode. She didn't think she'd ever felt so out of control and it was terrifying.

As if sensing she needed some space, while desperately needing him at the same time, he lifted her out of the water and placed her on the edge of the pool. The cold air and the lack of his heat made her tremble even worse than before. Her eardrums seemed to be buzzing and her vision was foggy, so she sunk her face in her hands. All of a sudden, something warm and soft landed over her shoulders, taking away some of the cold.

"You're freaking me out a little," he said, his hand on top of the towel. There was amusement in his voice which proved that maybe she wasn't freaking him out that much.

"I'm sorry," she said again, the words clattering off her lips.

"Is swimming really that scary?"

She glanced at him between her fingers. He'd sat on the edge of the pool next to her.

"Swimming?"

"Or would you rather talk about the kissing?" he enquired, all smiles.

"I hate you."

"That makes the kissing so much more interesting."

He was teasing, but it was familiar territory she could work with. "Do you have a fetish for kissing people who don't like you?"

"I'd be seriously considering it if you weren't the one who initiated it, darling."

Had she? She couldn't even retrace what had happened, but she was pretty sure he'd been the one who'd pulled her inside. And then she'd latched on to him like a terrified cat, curling around him, wrapping her darn legs around him.

She had! It made her just sink her face deeper into her palms and wish that the tiles would open up and swallow her whole. Though then she'd probably fall into the pool and drown. He hadn't even gotten to try to teach her how to swim before she'd slobbered all over him.

"It's okay," he continued as if he hadn't noticed she was having an existential crisis. "It was fun."

"Fun?" She looked up from her hands and turned to him. She'd given him her first kiss and it had been fun?

The smoldering look in his eyes had her freezing again. "I thought I'd use something light and familiar. Would you rather I called it fiery and passionate? I thought it might make you feel uncomfortable."

It did, on some level. Other than that, she felt strangely... Proud. What was going on? She sunk her face into her hands again. He just sat there next to her, swinging his feet in the water, giving her space, but near enough that she could touch him if she wanted to. The shift of power to her restored some of her control, but it was so odd. She'd thought he'd want to mortify her as much as possible.

After a few more moments, her breathing became normal and she could think a little. Everything became even more terrifying, especially with Davyn just waiting next to her, humming what sounded like one of his obnoxious rock songs. At some point, he'd leaned back on his hands, staring at the ceiling. It left the front of his body open and she found herself taking it in again, the ridges of his muscles, the sheer grace of it. Of course she wanted to kiss him, curl herself around him. As much as she valued her intellectual and independent side, she wasn't dead, she could recognize and attractive guy when she saw one.

"Are you going to tell me which part of what happened made you freak out, or are we just going to spend the rest of the evening counting the tiles?" he asked.

He no longer sounded amused, just tired, and it shifted her analysis into one of his face rather than his body. Yes, he was gorgeous, but beyond that, he was exhausted. There were dark rings under his eyes and his skin looked a little pale under the neon lights. Of course he was, since he'd spent the last two nights with her, in ever more compromising positions.

"You need sleep," she finally said. It was easy and it was safe. It showed concern and detracted from the mess they'd made.

"Ah, yes, let us speak of obvious matters."

She pursed her lips. He had a tendency of turning very formal and dramatic when something bothered him, she'd noticed that before. But what exactly was bothering him now?

"Was it bad?"

Her voice barely came out louder than a whisper, but he obviously heard it because he turned to her, a mild frown on his face. He didn't answer right away and it sent her heart thumping against her ribs again. It hurt, and she was so sick of hurting.

"What is it that you're not telling me?" he asked instead. "I understand that what just happened might have gone against everything you stand for. I'm insufferable and rude. But in the end, it was just a kiss."

It was a lie. It was several kisses, and obviously for him it was just another experience to throw in an ever-growing pile. Not the first and definitely not the last, because he was a normal teenager. But for her... She put her palms between her thighs and leaned forward, trying to hide her face. Darn it, she should've let her hair loose.

"Millie..." He leaned forward to see her better. "Look, I never got complaints before, but seeing you like this, I gotta ask. Was it that horrible?"

"No, of course not! I mean I wouldn't know, but it felt nice."

"Nice?" He looked as if she'd just puked on him.

"Look, I have no idea, okay? Not like I have anything to compare it to seing as this isn't really something I do or ever done or whatever. And I have no idea what you might have felt, but for me..."

She really needed to shut up. Every word sounded cringey as it hit the air in an endless stream. She should definitely get out of there before she made an even bigger fool of herself. The frown on his face only deepened and his entire body tensed. It only made his muscles stand out more.

"You wouldn't know?" he asked, his tone even. There was a long pause as he seemed to be pondering on what to say next. "Was this your first kiss?"

Crap. Double, triple crap. She couldn't believe she'd let that one slip. How pathetic. But there was no use denying it, so she just sunk her face in her hands again and gave a curt nod.

"Damn," he said, and unless she was imagining it, there was appreciation in his voice. "Well, color me surprised. I wouldn't have guessed."

She lowered her hands and stared at him. "What's that supposed to mean?"

He grinned at her, waving his feet in the water and making it splash over their legs. "Take it however you like. It could be a compliment and an insult at the same time, depending on how you choose to look at it."

She blinked. She still didn't really have the head space to figure out how it could be one or the other. The embarrassment was too strong. He seemed to notice because he turned on his left side to face her, leaning on one hand.

"Are you going to make fun of me about it?" she blurted out, stopping the words ready to come off his lips.

She cringed at how pathetic her voice had sounded. Dear God, she was a mess, but if he told her she sucked, she would throw herself in the pool and end it right there and then. This was something she was already hugely insecure about. She didn't need his barbs, not when the experience had meant so much to her.

He hesitated for a moment, as if analyzing her words. She had no idea why since they'd been so darn obvious.

"Look," he finally said. "This is not going to change things between us. I will continue teasing you and being blunt and I encourage you to do the same."

Her heart seemed to have become the size of a flea, but she just kept glaring at him, trying not to show how much his words hurt. Of course it wouldn't change anything, because it meant nothing to him. He'd probably kissed a million girls before her and this was nothing but a forgettable incident.

"But," he continued after drawing a deep breath, "I do realize that some issues are delicate. So I think we need a safe word."

"A what now?"

"You don't know what a safe word is?" The skepticism in his voice had her blushing again.

"Not really."

"It's a word you use in more rough sexual play to let your partner know you no longer feel safe."

Millie's mouth suddenly became very dry as her mind took what they'd just been doing much further. "Wait, we're talking about rough sexual play already?" They'd just kissed, for heaven's sake! The idea of doing more was one second away from setting her on fire.

He chuckled. "Not unless you want to. I meant on an emotional level. Like choose a word to indicate that a certain topic shouldn't be mocked. Like my daddy issues or your fear of never being good enough."

"Oh." That actually made sense.

"The point is that while we'll continue this... relationship or whatever it is like before, the in your corner thing does matter. So I won't make fun of things that hurt you. I'll know to be serious then."

"Yeah, that sounds like a good idea."

"So what's the safe word?"

She had no idea what it should sound like. "No?"

He shook his head. "It should be something that doesn't come up in normal conversation so that there's no doubt."

She pondered on this, wondering why suitable words were just slipping out of her mind. But after the adrenaline rush from the kissing faded, her brain seemed to be filled with endless white noise, swirling into a rhythm that lulled her to sleep. And then she knew.

"What about lullaby?"

He raised his eyebrows. "Huh, not something I'd use in conversation and not very weird. Okay."

It wasn't much, but for some reason she now felt safer. Her shoulders untensed and she angled her body towards his.

"So, what did you mean with what you said? Lullaby, by the way."

The mischievous grin reappeared on his face and it made her heart beat faster. "Let's just say you may have discovered something you're talented at."

Heat rose to her cheeks and something fluttered in her stomach. Like butterflies. It was an odd sensation, disconcerting and pleasant at the same time.

"Good enough?" she asked, her voice still little shaky.

He put his hand on her cheek, drawing closer. "Yeah. And with great potential for improvement."

"Do you intend to teach me this, too?" She was flirting. Under the safety of that one word, she was consciously flirting for once in her life, because why wouldn't she? He practically admitted to liking it.

"More like help you practice. You know what they say..." He was so close now, their lips were only a breath apart. "Practice makes perfect."

She leaned into him, not really caring. The taste of his lips was already familiar and every bit of cold and doubt left her body. It was okay, it had to be, or it wouldn't feel so right. She didn't even have to wonder what she needed to do because the way he guided her made it easy. Her body needed him close, and she let herself have this. She didn't really care what he thought about her anyway.

Though, deep down inside, she knew he wouldn't judge her for this, wouldn't think her easy, wouldn't try to take it further. Not even when she rolled over and on top of him, letting his wet body warm hers up.

He just kissed her back, running his hands up and down her back, grasping her thighs, making her feel free and wanted. Because if he was doing this, it had to mean something. Something real, that wouldn't hurt her.

After all, they had their safe word.

♣️♣️♣️

In case it wasn't already obvious, I enjoy writing characters freaking out. I also enjoy moving their relationships forward.

As much as Davyn claims otherwise, their relationship did change. Just the fact that he'd allow her topics he wouldn't touch says a lot about how he feels about it. And the guy needed a break. And Millie needed a first kiss she could remember.

Hope you enjoyed this. Stick around as I write more fun romance for them. It's great not to be so depressing anymore, lol.