Dean couldn't believe it. He couldn't wrap his mind around what was happening. Angel was lucky she was still alive, that bitch. She'd known. She had known about Cas, and she'd kissed him anyway. Now he was at the hospital. The fucking hospital. Dean wiped his tears from his face but new ones kept falling. He didn't know how long he'd been here, it felt like years.

"Dean! What happened, we came as soon as we heard!" Sam exclaimed, running up with Gabe behind him.

"What happened to Cas?" Gabe asked, his face white. Dean opened his mouth to answer, but he felt like he couldn't speak. He couldn't breathe, this wasn't right. Cas...

"He got in a wreck," he eventually choked out. Gabe and Sam sit on either side of Dean and Sam puts his hand on Dean's shoulder.

"Dean, is he..." Sam leaves the end of his question unspoken. Dean let out a broken sob.

"I don't know. He's in surgery right now," Dean said. Sam just squeezed his shoulder. Gabe stared at the wall in shock. It felt like another four centuries before someone came up to them.

"Mr. Winchester?" The nurse asked.

"Yes, that's me," Dean said, standing up, full of nervous energy. "Is he okay?"

"We think he's going to make it. We aren't expecting him to wake up soon, but you can see him if you want," she said. Dean and Gabriel rushed into the room, but the second Dean saw Cas his knees gave out and he ended up kneeling on the floor, staring at Cas. He was so pale... there were cuts and scratches all over his face. Dean began crying all over again seeing him like that. Eventually his tears dried enough that he stood up and walked the rest of the way over to Cas. Gabe was still there, just watching Cas. Dean took Cas' hand and squeezed it tightly.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry Cas, I didn't... I would never... I love you," he said. A tear ran down Gabriel's face and he turned and ran to Sam, who just wrapped his arms around Gabe. Dean pulled up a chair and sat next to Cas' bed, holding his hand. Cas had to wake up, he had to so Dean could apologize. He couldn't die thinking Dean had betrayed him.

Eventually Gabe and Sam both sat down, and all they could do was wait. It was driving Dean insane, when suddenly -

"Gabriel?" Dean's eyed widened.

"Cas! Cas I'm so sorry, I-" he started apologizing, but Cas looked at him with a vacant expression.

"I'm sorry, you look familiar, but I can't remember your name," he said.

***

Dean's whole life was falling apart. They'd made him leave after Cas woke up, but the damage was done, and they only confirmed it. Cas had next to no memory of the last five years. Gabe and Dean had already discussed things, and Gabe had talked to Cas about everything. Now it was several days later and Dean was taking Cas home. It was strange to have Cas sitting right next to him and yet it not be Cas. Not really.

"So we were college roommates?" Cas asked.

"Yeah. Then we decided to get an apartment together after we graduated," Dean said, reciting the story he and Gabe had decided upon. The doctor thought Cas might get his memory back eventually, but they hadn't wanted to load him with too much, especially since Cas didn't remember he was gay.

"Are you married?" He asked, looking at Dean's ring. Dean's hands tightened on the wheel.

"I... that's complicated. I'd rather not talk about it," he said. Cas nodded.

"Of course, I'm sorry," he said. They didn't talk much the rest of the way, except for the occasional question from Cas. When they got back home, Dean led Cas inside and showed him where everything was. They had converted the guest room into a room for Cas and tried to remove all signs of marriage from the place. Cas settled in fairly well, grabbing a book and settling onto the couch to read it. Dean sat on the other end of the couch and turned on the TV. He was scrolling through Netflix when Cas looked up and gasped.

"What?" Dean asked.

"Finding Dory? Dean, did they make a sequel?" Cas asked excitedly. Dean couldn't help but smile at the childish excitement on Cas' face.

"Yeah, do you want to watch it?" He asked. Cas nodded excitedly so Dean hit play. As he looked over at Cas, it wasn't the same, but... maybe he could make this work.