CHAPTER NINE

"Murphy's naturally homicidal, don't take it personally." 

***

When I woke up, I was laying on the ground. 

 I groaned as I sat up, a shooting pain echoing around in my head. Stupid Murphy. Was the only coherent thought I could come up with, inhaling deeply to try and cease the pounding behind my eyes. I raised my head to my temple, and when they came back they were coated in a thin layer of blood. 

 Okay, um - I struggled with my muddled thoughts for a second. Night had fallen, and I had to find Charlotte, fast. Concussion test, something Clarke endlessly reminded me to do if I ever got  a head injury... I think this classifies as a head injury. Plus, it's just adding more cuts to my forehead and blood to my face, which I really didn't appreciate. 

 Okay, headache is a check... but that could also be from the beating I received earlier. Nausea... nope none of that. Thank God. Amnesia, no I still remember my screwed-up life. Murphy, Charlotte, Clarke, Bellamy-

 Oh shit Bellamy. 

 I spotted him a few meters away from me, slumped on the ground. I walked over, taking a note of the normal walking, and knelt down by his side. I tentatively shook his shoulder. "Bellamy?" 

 A little harder. "Bellamy!" 

 I gave up, rolling my eyes, bringing my hand back, and slapping him across the face. Maybe it wasn't the most educated decision, but it worked. Plus, I was still kind of pissed at him. 

 His eyes opened, and a groan slipped past his lips. "What-"  He seemed to catch sight of me, and he sat up, wincing. "Nate?" 

 "The one and only," I shot him a lopsided grin. "Here, stand up." I managed to get his arm around my shoulders, and helped him to his feet. No slurred speech. "Are you nauseous?" 

"No." 

 "Do you remember everything?" 

 "Uh, yeah." His eyes flew open, "Shit, Murphy- how long have I been out?" 

 "I don't know, dumbass, I just woke up. How's your balance?"

 He groaned, dusting his fingers over his forehead. "It's fine." 

 "Cool." I let go of him, since that was beginning to get awkward. "It's safe to say they went for the woods, Clarke and Finn probably found somewhere safe, let's go." 

 He nodded, and together, we ran into the darkness of the forest. 

***

"Charlotte!" I quipped, my voice cutting into the night. We couldn't hear Murphy, but we also couldn't see shit. "Charlotte, it's Nate!" 

 I paused, listening to the silent night. I heard the distant chatter of Murphy and his squad, but otherwise, nothing. I winced, realizing that if we could hear Murphy he wasn't too far away, and when I focused my gaze I noticed a warm light casting shadows across the trees. That must be them, but I still couldn't find Charlotte. 

 Until I heard a small whimper from ahead. 

 "Charlotte?" I jogged over to the spot, and sure enough, there she was. The girl peeked her head out from the bushes, and immediately wrapped her arms around my waist. She was quivering like a leaf on a tree. I exhaled, "oh thank God." 

 "You can't protect me." She shook her head, pulling away and sniffling, tears still falling from her eyes. I shot her a look. 

 "Wanna bet? Come on, we're gonna figure this out-"

 "Murphy!" 

 I jumped, my heartbeat spiking as Charlotte opened her mouth, a shrill shriek piercing the previously quiet atmosphere. I felt the blood drain from my face, Bellamy and I sharing a look. 

Charlotte kept screaming. "Murphy! Murphy I'm over here!" 

 "Are you trying to get yourself killed?" I demanded, holding my hand over her mouth to try and quiet her down. The voices were getting closer, and I recoiled when a sting came through my hand, yanking it back. "Ow! That little bitch just bit me!" 

 Bellamy ignored my whining, and grabbed Charlotte before she could run off. "Charlotte, it's okay, we can still help you!" 

 "Nobody else can get hurt- MURPHY!" 

 I didn't hesitate this time, I just bent over and slung the her small frame over my shoulder like a sack of potatoes. She began kicking almost immediately, and I grimaced turning to Bellamy, the yelling and extra weight contributing to my headache, "lead the way." 

 Then I just tried to run as best as I could. 

 "It's fine!" I yelled, trying to make my voice heard over her thrashing and yelling. "Murphy's naturally homicidal, don't take it personally!"

 "He hurt you!" 

 "No he didn't, I'm used to getting beat up!" 

The trek was awful in every single way. My muscles hurt, my head was pounding, and I have a bunch of dried blood on my face. The night was pitch black, and it was a miracle I didn't trip as my feet snapped twigs, occasionally running into a tree and getting a leaf stuck in my mouth. I'm not sure how long I can hold Charlotte, she really is struggling. 

 "Whoa!" Bellamy held up his hands. I dropped the girl on my shoulder, but kept my hand encased around her wrist so she didn't run. We were at a dead end, the ground dropped off to a cliff, doing down who knows how deep. It was raining now, and my hair was sticking to my forehead, my cuts stinging from the pressure. 

 "Nowhere to run." The ghostly figure of Murphy and four others emerged from the trees. I gulped, pushing Charlotte behind me. We were cornered, like prey. "You can't fight all of us." 

 "Maybe not, but I can take a few of you with me." Bellamy retaliated, jutting his chin out indignantly. I could hear Charlotte's panicked breathing, and scrambled for something to say.   

 "Murphy, you're being insane." I tried to reason, although I was sure I didn't look the most inviting right now. "Don't do this, it won't end well for you." 

 He actually laughed at that, leaning his head back slightly as the rain fell. "This-" he gestured to the group, a daunting grin on his face. "This won't end well for anyone." 

 "Bellamy, Nate!"

 Clarke shoved past two of Murphy's minions, the firelight casting an eerie shadow on her face. "This has gone too far! We can talk about it!" 

 "She's right, nobody else has to get hurt." I took a cautious step forward, but froze when Murphy grabbed Clarke's shoulder and pulled her towards him, holding a blade to her neck. 

"Let her go." My voice was low and dangerous, feeling panic begin to settle in my chest. This dramatic little ass was not going to kill Clarke, not before I got the chance to fix things fully. "I'm done playing  games Murphy, you hurt her, I kill you." 

 "I'm not scared of you, Nate." He taunted, moving the knife so it pressed against Clarke's skin. I swear my heart stopped for that one second. I took a deep breath. "Murphy, nobody else has to get hurt, if we build a society on-"

 "Shut up, pretty boy!" He tightened his grip, "or the Princess dies." 

 I recoiled in shock, pouting like a little kid before I truly realized what he was doing. He looked over my shoulder at a quivering Charlotte. "Don't hurt her." She begged, tears streaking down her face, mixing with the rain. 

 "How 'bout I make you a deal. You come to me right now, and I let her go." 

 "You bitch." I muttered, my eyes meeting Clarke's. She shook her head as much as she could under her confinements. "Don't do it, Charlotte." 

Charlotte took a step forward, but Bellamy grabbed her arms before she could go any further. "No! I have to save Clarke!" She shouted, shaking her arms as I swallowed, trying to get my brain to clear. 

 "Murphy, this is not happening." Bellamy said, and I felt the great need to add my wise input, so I did. 

 "Yeah, shut the fuck up and stop being such a drama queen." 

 I paused, before nodding at the blonde in front of me. "And let Clarke go." 

 "I can't let any of you get hurt anymore, not because of me, not because of what I did." 

 It wasn't the words that made me turn around, it was the haunted tone in her voice when she said them. The girl was staring straight ahead, not at anyone in particular, just directly into the darkness of the night. Her face was pale, illuminated by the torchlight so that she looked like... a ghost. 

 This time, it was my turn to scream. 

 The small girl turned, and before Bellamy could reach out to grab her, threw herself off the edge of the cliff, plummeting into the abyss below.

 I don't thing I fully comprehended what happened for a moment, as my feet brought me so close to the edge that Bellamy had to grab me to keep me on solid ground. There was no bottom to the cliff; at least that's what it looked like, it seemed like the gaping mouth of a horrible monster. 

 My mind was reeling, I couldn't process what happened. I felt tears fall down my face as I did. The little girl, the one who took the liberty to stay by me, was dead. 

 Because of Murphy. 

My chest was so tight it was painful. I pushed away from Bellamy, turning and running over to Murphy who - in his shock, presumably - had let go of Clarke. I grabbed the front of his shirt, bringing my fist forward with as much force as I could muster. I shoved him, his foot catching on a root and falling to the ground, giving me a chance to kneel next to him, bring my fist to his face over and over again. I couldn't see anything, red was blurring my vision, I was looking straight though a tunnel; right to the end. 

 I'm going to kill him. 

 "Nate stop! You'll kill him!" I vaguely heard Clarke cry. I felt strong arms snake around  my torso and yank me off of John Murphy. His face was bloody and beaten, and he was gasping for air on the cold ground.  

 "Let me go!" I yelled, struggling against my restraints. All I could see was red, blazing red. "He deserves to die!" 

 "No." Clarke walked into my line of vision, and I stopped struggling, gasping for air as the lump in my throat grew. "We don't choose who lives and dies. Not down here." 

 "If you say the people have the right to decide-" I began, my voice breaking and my body shaking with suppressed sobs. I could feel adrenaline ebbing out of my bloodstream, and felt the burden of grief hit me like a truck. I hadn't felt like this for years, and I truly didn't remember how awful it was. Like I couldn't breathe. 

 "No. I was wrong before, okay? Bellamy was right." 

 It seemed the boy himself deemed that I was no longer a danger, as he released me and came to stand beside on my other side, staring at me so intensely that it made my skin crawl. 

 "Sometimes it's dangerous to tell the truth. But if we're gonna survive down here, we can't just live by whatever the hell we want. We need rules." 

 "And who makes those roles? Huh? You?" I demanded, clenching my teeth. I couldn't break down in front of these people, I have too much pride. My hands were shaking, so I pressed them against my thighs, closing my eyes and shaking my head. 

 "From now on, we make the rules." She explained, reaching over to put a gentle hand on my arm. "You, me, and Bellamy." 

 "So what, we just take him back and pretend nothing ever happened?" Bellamy asked, pointing to Murphy's form, his entire body tensed like he was ready to beat Murphy up himself. 

"No." My voice was quiet. Barely above a whisper, and Clarke had to lean forward to hear. "No. We banish him. Leave him for Earth to deal with." I dodged around Clarke, and grabbed Murphy by the collar of his shirt, using strength I didn't know I had to lift him to his feet. 

 "If you ever come anywhere near camp, ever again-" I began, making sure he had to look at me when I spoke. "I'll kill you. Right here." 

 And that I was certain of, the turmoil in my head causing me to scowl deeper as I turned to his four losers, venom lacing my voice. "You get to make your choice." 

 And with that, I turned and stalked into the forest, letting tears run down my face as soon as my back was turned. I turned to look at the sky, the rain continuing to fall, masking any light from the sky as I shook my head, my voice no louder than a whisper. 

 "I'm sorry, Charlotte."