Silence, that's all that filled the carriage. Tom had somehow got me convinced that I needed to go away for a day. Winter was acting like a spoiled dog, tearing its teeth into the spring late March was supposed to be.

Dark windows lined the streets, a shadowed doorway becoming the home for the unsavory fellows usually only thriving in the night. A young boy stood on the corner, yelling the news that Rabbitte was nearly caught after an anonymous tip.

"Frost just won't stop until he's at the top will he?" I muttered to no one in particular. The horses stopped and my door was opened.

"Do be careful walking about Master Gilbertson. London is not as-"

"Safe as it used to be, I know, thank you." I cut off the driver, stepping out and onto the sidewalk. The driver nodded before climbing back up, ushering the horses onwards. I looked around, letting out a sad breath. This street, this city, this country, this world... It was all supposed to be better than this. I dodged through the back streets, the twists and turns from my childhood flooding through me as quick as water through cracks in a glass. I reached the old shop, broken door, stained wood. I reached up and brushed my hand along the wood.

"Funny finding you here..." I whipped around, finding Frost glaring at me.

"Oh, it's you." I greeted the bane of my existence.

"Well vas te faire encule as well." He sneered.

"Haven't been able to kick that habit of swearing in French, have you?" I questioned, tugging at the sleeves of my coat.

"Montressor! My family is proud to be French, among other things. I believe you know why I've been meaning to talk to you."

"You damn fool! Just leave me alone to the past, will you?"

"I don't think I will." His cocky smile and overbearing confidence made me groan.

"At the very least, will you point out exactly what it will take to get you to leave me alone?" I gently brushed by gloved fingers across the blade in my pocket, calmly releasing a stressed breath. I saw him lean against the wall of the building across from the one I was close to. A hand sliding into his pocket meant that he probably had that damned blade with him.

"Where's Carrie?" Frost questioned suddenly, ice as hot as hellfire compared to the look he was giving me.

"What's it to you? She's already expressed how much she doesn't want to meet you again. It would be best for you to move on. It's best for us both at this rate."

"Move on to what? You want me to forget?! Gilbertson, I doubt anyone is going to forget these past years, you and I among them. There is no forgiving the events, let alone forgetting."

I turned away from him, brushing my fingers across the door, leaving new paths in the dust before pushing open the door gently. The hinges squealed, making us flinch at the noise.

"Go home, Frost." I whispered.

"I don't have a home. You took that from me. We both know that it would be best for us to brawl until only one is left."

"I am not of the house of Montague, and-for the love of all that is holy-you are not a Capulet!" I sneered, turning around to glare at the man now wearing his signature smirk that seemed to be permanently stuck on his features.

"Well, merde, if I'm not wanted, I'll just take my leave."

"Thank goodness..." I muttered. Frost walked over to me, delicately placing a hand under my chin and forcing me to look into his eyes. The green swam in the sea of blue, the black island in the center staring into my soul as a rare smile graced the obnoxious lips of my enemy.

"You have beautiful eyes you know." Frost mused, hand now cupping my cheek. I slapped the traitorous hand away.

"Were you not leaving?" I accompanied these words with a glare, hand still firmly grasping the handle of my trusty shears. Worse to worse, I wouldn't mind staining my hands with his blood. It's all but proved in court he's guilty. Truly, one of these days we'll only be able to pin him down for tax evasion...

"I'm hurt. In fact, I dare say I'm absolutely devastated." Frost rolled his eyes, the rare moment of purity ruined by a massive creature commonly referred to as his ego. At another glare, he put up his hands in surrender and the cocky bastard strolled off, whistling a foreign tune. He never did seem to care about anything...

It was a skill I was jealous of.

Turning back to the door, I entered the building. The wooden floor creaked, but I didn't notice. Golden images of memories covered the room's broken furniture, the bloodstain on the table covered by a hastily thrown cloth.

My hand drifted up to my chest, weaving in between the layers of clothes to run the pads of my fingers over the raised skin, the scar left behind from that day.

"It's fine... everything's okay... I'm fine..." I comforted the darkness, sending my raven hair left and right as I attempted to clear my head. Sprinting up the rickety steps, I reached the closed door that used to be so comforting.

I knocked for old time's sake.

Silence made the only answer, enveloping me in it's deathly stillness, stealing the breath out of my lungs. I choked on the heavy darkness-or at least that's what I told myself it was. Carefully, I turned the knob, letting the past take me away from everything.

"MOMMA!" The boy shrieked, laughing as his long black locks covered eyes he got from his father. Laughter filled the room until a man came in, wielding a plastic sword.

"How dare you try to take my princess away from me!" The elder man said, gesturing towards the innocent child suppressing giggles on the bed.

We were so happy. Father hadn't yet seen the war, mother still had her smile. I was so young, the world was clear, it was my oyster...

"Don't leave me!" Mother yelled, no longer caring if I heard. I shielded myself under the blankets and behind the closed door of my room.

"They need me. I have to go."

"So you'll leave us? What if you don't come back?! What will I tell Tobias?" An ugly sound came out, cutting off words yet to be said. Was my mother crying? What are they talking about that could reduce my beautiful mother to tears?

He was gone the next morning, my father was. Mother didn't talk for days. Tom had to coax her to even leave her room. By the time my father got back, our actual home was ready. We moved back in just in time for me to leave for schooling. I'd tried to convince them to let me stay home, but they made me go.

"FATHER! NO!"

Don't think about it Tobias...

"Young Master, We need to go."

Why was there no warning?

"I'm not leaving. You can't make me."

I was too young to see death.

"MOM! DAD! PLEASE SOMEONE! Please."

Was he jealous of us?

"Tobias you need to calm down."

What did my family ever do to his? Sure we were rivals, but to kill?

"Tobias, you are now the head of the Gilbertson family. You need to pull yourself together."

"I can't do this..." I found myself still in the doorway, collapsed on the ground, drowning in the enveloping blackness around me.

I picked myself up, stumbling into the room down the hall. A small laugh escaped my lips as I spotted the old guitar leaning against the cracked wall. My fingers drifted over it, plucking the strings that were-surprisingly-tuned to perfection. I picked it up, sliding the torn strap over my shoulder as the instrument swung around in front of my, resting at my hip.

My fingers slid over the strings, plucking out the proper chords, "I always ask myself/ how could this darker cloud make me stronger now./ I'll always ask myself/When will this go away?" I don't sing often, but it makes me feel better.

My mother thought it would be important for me to sing and play piano, but my dad got me guitar lessons as well. I let Tom keep teaching me after they died. It kinda makes me feel closer to them...

A sigh weaved its way out of my throat as I started down the stairs, closing the front door and ignoring the bloodstains on the knob as I went.

"I do quite believe it's about time to head home." I mused to myself, sliding the guitar over my back and sprinting through the alleys and streets until my home was in sight. One day I'll be able to accept the past, but it looks like today isn't that day...  

~~~

TRANSLATIONS:

vas te faire encule : (French) Fuck you 

Merde: (French) Shit

CREDITS:

The song Tobias sings when he finds the guitar is 'Keep Myself Alive' by Get Scared. The lyric video is the one up top in case you want to listen to it.