another rant of the day

okay so I'm not complaining I'm lucky to have a boyfriend I appreciate him but like its so complicated being how I am and him being how he is.

He's what I guess some would say "normal," but to be specific his pronouns are in fact he/him, he was born male, his real name is Jacobc, and he is so fucking hetero it's like almost uncomfortable at times like idek

But I love him so much and we've been together for so long and when I told him everything he was so confused and it kinda strained our relationship a little bit because he's just so tiptoe-y around me that I can't even like take it.

He's totally accepting as far as he's voiced to me but it confuses him still and I wanna help him understand what's up with my head but like God bless it's hard to talk to hetero boys sometimes.

I know it doesn't bother him all that much but it makes me like feel really anxious and awful that like he has to deal with me and he tells "I'm not dealing with you, you didn't chose this I love you" but like the poor thing doesn't know what to do whenever I have my little mental breakdowns other than to like hold me and I don't know.

I'll figure it out thanks for reading my awkwardness lol

xxluca