"Four eeeeeeeeeyes," You whined, hanging off the bed, upside down. Spreading your arms our in a dramatic manner, you proclaimed, "Sleep with me!"

"I already did last night," Shin mutters as a response, his gaze solely scanning through his textbooks, detail by detail. "The mark I gave you last night hasn't faded out and I doubt you can walk straight."

Out of instincts, your hand shot up to the crook of your neck, covering the red and purplish mark with a face that can put the reddest apple to shame. Your throat squeezed caused by your flustered stupor, you managed to squeal out, "Not like that!" Taking a red cushion by the side of the bed, you threw it behind him, in which he responded by catching the soft material and set it on his lap. "Pervert."

"What? You know you liked it. Now go to sleep-" The bespectacled blond sighs, the sound of his pen writing across his notebook audibly heard throughout the room. "-you still have lectures tomorrow, right?"

"And so do you," with arms crossed and a pout, you intended to send your thoughts and concerns drilled in his head. He still didn't budged. With a sigh, you tumbled out of the bed like a gangly spider and made your way towards your blond boyfriend. Lazily plopping your chin against his shoulder, before snaking your arms around his neck, letting them dangle on his chest. "You know if you beat yourself too hard you'll only get frustrated and void of ideas, right?"

"Easy for you to say," Shin mumbles to himself, leaning his head to yours and giving you a soft, affectionate nuzzle. "I need to work hard to catch up with the rest of the class. You know that I'm currently struggling to get on their level, right?"

You pursued your lips, not knowing how to reply. He wasn't lying when he said he struggled, his classmates were old money and came from elite schools for the rich and had advanced studies. Shin, meanwhile, was a general student with general studies. You're proud that he's working hard to compete, but he can't seem to take a break. He refuses to sleep unless you'd straddle him and boy, does it come to that.

"Come on, four eyes... Let's just go to sleep, okay? You need rest, you've been studying nonstop. Have time for yourself as well," Lightly pressing a kiss to his cheek, he couldn't help but to softly quirk his lips upwards. "I promise, I'd help you tomorrow. We'll wake up early and do it together, capiche?"

Shin Nemoto hums, pondering about the offer, which he gotta say, is almost tempting. He really need to read his notes for tomorrow, but your concern from him grew moment by moment whenever he's out of the close proximity of the bed.

"Shin please... I'm worried about you..." Even if he can't see your face, he knew you would have that look in your eyes. He doesn't want you to be worried about him, he always knew you'd die inside the moment he'd hurt himself in any way. If he were to chose between you and his studies, of course he would chose you!

With a sigh of defeat, he nods. With a giggle, you pressed another kiss on his cheek before pulling him by the wrist and into the bed.

"Just sleep, okay? Worry about it tomorrow." You took his glasses off, setting it by the bed side table. "Good night, four eyes." You attempted to give him a quick peck, when he held your head in place to make it a little more longer. Once you leaned away, you softly scoffed before turning the lights of to sleep.

"Love ya, four eyes."

"I love you, too."

Nemoto found himself shooting up like a firework, eyes darting from left to right but all he saw was darkness. Sweat coated his forehead, his heart raising erratically, his breathe came in short from the shot of suddenly adrenaline. And in front of him, was a dimly lit computer screen.

Nemoto Shin sighs, sinking to his seat with a deep breathe. He never realized he dozed off while working, how shameful. The bespectacled male takes his glasses off, pinching the bridge of his nose as he put his glasses away for a few moments. He was so fucking tired, he won't deny that, but he can not just disappoint Overhaul- he always comes first after all.

"Four eyes, come back to sleep!"

He glances around, eyes scanning his room generously given by Overhaul. He swore, he heard a voice in his room. Shin's hand slowly reached for the glock from his drawers, his guard stood strong as he ran his gaze all around him. He lowers his guard, retrieving his hand from the drawer.

He can only blame sleep deprivation causing him to hear things he shouldn't hear, but needed to get this paperwork done, Overhaul won't be too happy if he ever turned them in late. The summer colour haired male nimbly puts his glasses back on, running his finger through his messy hair. Dark circles were under his eyes, sunken from the lack of sleep and he can feel it lingering just around the corner, but continuously denied his own needs.

"You know if you beat yourself too hard you'll only get frustrated and void of ideas, right?"

He shakes his head, knowing it was only in his mind. The Yakuza rereads the contents of the thousands of documents he's been working on for a past few days, it didn't really have a due date but he wagers that Overhaul would want them as early as possible. As soon as he finishes scanning his previous works, he cracks his fingers, before he began to resume typing.

His squints his eyes, brows furrowed as his fingers pressed precise keys. The sensation of sleep still rests in his eyelids that hung low, in which he fought the sensation. His head was in agony, his vision spun and darkened, but he can't let his own self ruin his dedication for Overhaul. He is Overhaul's obedient servant, and he needed to prove himself as fit.

"Come on, four eyes... Let's just go to sleep, okay? You need rest. Have time for yourself as well."

There it was again. That damned voice. The music for his ears, the sweet, sweet melody he was addicted to. The poison of his mind, a plague to be avoided. A disease carrier. One of the many people Overhaul warned him not to associate with. A pathetic liar, just like the rest of the world. Oh he was a fool to have himself dangle upon your finger tips. He was naive, he should've known better. He dug himself a grave for you, he was more than willing to give his heart for you! But you didn't loved him back like you claimed... You were a liar and it had him scarred.

"Shut up," behind his gritted teeth, glaring at the screen that glared back at him. His eyes slowly glossed, tears leaking out of his eyes. He felt his chest tightened, he struggled to breathe. The back of his throat began to throb with a sharp and sore type of pain, as he held his own tears back. "Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up..." He repeats, denying the voices in his mind, shaking his head as he clutches it. "I don't need you! Stop it!" He covers his own ears, as if he can muffle the voices that was coming inside his mind.

"Shin please... I'm worried about you..."

"Y/N please!" It's been a long time since he said that name that he considered dead to him. His throat squeezed tightly, he couldn't bare to breathe, nor to speak. His oval shaped spectacles were stained with his own tears, his eyes sore from denying his own tears. "P-please... Don't—"

It's been a few years since he broke down to show these emotions. He believed they were weaknesses, it wasn't supposed to be shown. It was supposed to be expressed.

That memory... It was all so vivid. He never thought about you enough for him to dream about the happy moments of your lives together. He never looked back at those memories, he kept them locked away from the back of his mind, but try as he may the guilt still haunts him to this day.

He loved you, but you betrayed him. You became just like anyone else when you anonymously turned him in the police station and lied about it. You were a liar, a betrayer and he loved you. You created a monster out of him. You filled his vision with hatred, he could never trust anyone again. Overhaul was the only one he could trust and he will offer his very own life for him.

You never loved him. You were a liar, playing with his emotions. But why? Why are these feelings not vanishing? Why does he still love you after all those times? You had him dangling by your fingertips, your charms were just that strong, expected from a liar and a major manipulator.

"Leave me alone... I don't need you..."

You have been staring at the monitor for too long, your eyes flickering from word to word, taking in all the detail. You made sure to be as thorough as you can, you never want to leave a single error if you consider working in a major facility for the most dangerous villains as a psychiatrist. It was truly as dream for you after that incident with Shin happened.

You used to chase your dreams about being a psychiatrist specialising in childhood trauma, when you decided to swerve your path to possibly redeem those villains into a more brighter path. something you failed to do for the only love of your life, and you hoped by doing this you intended to honour him in this way.

Your head felt light to say the least, given the fact you have your eyes fixed upon the brightly lit monitor in the middle of the afternoon. You know your limits and you've exceeded them. You swore under your breathe it will only take a few more minutes until you've finished. Thank god you were still on your day off and the due date is still next week, but there's no harm done if you do this as early as you can. Besides, time is not typically not on your side and you felt no need to procrastinate when you're interning in this facility. It will only take a few more weeks until you'd get back to university, graduate and be accepted by them.

You knew how to take care of yourself, thankfully. The bottle of water you had by your side has been refilled at least three times in a span of an hour or two, you weren't too sure on that. Somehow, you cried too much to completely dehydrate yourself. It wasn't avoidable, you somehow knew you'd cry for him again. It's what you always do. There are moment when you thought you've moved on, but everything around you seems to remind you of him. He always lingers at the back of your mind as an unavoidable intrusive thought that randomly pops in your head. You shook your head, trying to avoid the subject by going back to work.

You only wished to make amends, forgive, be forgiven and move on... And what's next? All those times spent with him would just become memories? Try as you may, you knew deep down you still loved him. He's made mistakes and you were suppose to guide him back to the right path and you failed, it was your mistake. You were supposed to help him, he pushed you away but you weren't supposed to go away.

You just realized how many suitors with romantic pursuits you've pushed away because of your unfinished business with him. Three days ago, you confronted the number three hero. You told him you were grateful for the gifts, you appreciate his efforts but your heart was still owned by a person. You showed him a ring by your ring finger on your left hand.

It was a ring you bought in pairs, as you've intended to propose to him by the time you both graduated. You bought them around the time when you first got into university, you already had the intention to be wedded with that blond dork and under these circumstance, you became more confused. You know full too well that he might've replaced you, but you never felt any desire to see someone. Your loyalty still lies with him, the man who thinks everyone betrayed and lied to him. Now, you know what he went through. From the heinous and heroic. But you wished that he would soon realize not all people are like that.

You told Hawks you were planning to propose to someone but spiralled into madness and has gone to hell. You didn't tell him the specifics, it was up for him to interpret it in any way he can, whether he assumed that the person you intended to marry die and whatnot. And after that, you went to your separate ways after agreeing to be just friends.

After finishing your third proof reading, you decided to call it a day and shut your laptop close before setting it by your bed side table. Standing up, you stretched your back whilst you walked towards the fridge to have a little snack. As you walk, you pass by a mirror that made you stop abruptly. You stopped to stare at the mirror to see your reflection, wearing his glasses. Out of your wits, you set a finger over the lense of the glasses.

Ahh, you forgot you were using his glasses. You fondly remembered it was an antiradiation glasses with a small amount of optical grades. It was around the time his eye sight wasn't that severe back in high school. The cute boy with the chess team's only hot member vibes radiated off of him back then. But now? You aren't sure, you haven't seen him in awhile.

You smiled out of nostalgia, taking the glasses off and wiping the fingerprint that you caused by your shirt before putting it back on. Now you knew what his struggles were. With a nod at the reflection, you proceeded to ransack your own fridge for something to eat. As you had your head deep in the fridge, your phone in your pocket vibrates with such urgency.

The caller's ID was your friend back in high school, the one that took the photos during graduation, including you and Shin. She interned with you in Tartarus, both of you regularly chatted, but she has never called you. Confusion plagued your mind, finger hovering just above the green telephone icon to accept this call. Your guts seems to twist in your own stomach, dread filled your chest as you struggled to breathe, but with all your might, you pressed to accept the call.

"H-hello?" Your nervous voice rang out.

"Y/N! Oh my god, thank god you answered!" There was urgency in her voice even if she breathed heavily into the speakers of her phone. "Have you recently seen the news?!"

"N-no, what's the deal anyway?"

"Turn your TV on or maybe look at you newsfeed in social media! I don't care! The news is everywhere!" With your eyebrows furrowed, you can't help but to be frustrated at her urgency but refused to state the matter. Was it a latest celebrity gossip? A death of a Pro hero? A new movie directed by your favourite actor? What?!

"Just tell me what's the deal Heather! Cut to the crap!"

There was a pause on the other side of the line. The dread in your stomach seems to twists and tangle until it almost reached your throat. You can feel the bile rising at the back of your throat from the sheer anxiety. Your own heartbeat was heard in your head, pounding mercilessly as your ensuing headache worsens. She spoke in a quiet voice, but you never had to ask her twice about it. It was all so clear, so unbelievable.

"They caught Nemoto."

Four eyes?

For a moment you feel your heart revel, but instantly stopped. Caught? By whom? Why? How? What? All these questions bubbled within your mind, all unanswered, purely confusing...

"He was taken to the hospital due to numerous injuries, along with the Yakuza group he's in; Shiee Hassaikai." Yakuza? Your beloved? Did he really lost his sense of morals and headed towards that path? Was it because of you and what you've done to him and what you failed to do for him? Did you drove him to that point?

Never have you ever thought he'd down to that path. Was he in too deep? Was he truly warped in the very corrupt chasms of his mind? Was he trying to find a reason to live for?
Unfortunately, you do not have the answer for those questions.

Your hand trembled, your feet buckled, your whole damn body felt cold. Your breathe grew shorter and shorter with every thoughts in your head raised as your heart was. Your throat tightened, the airways all blocked. Your own emotions controlled you rather than you controlled them. Your own mind alludes you.

Where did all went wrong?

"Y/N? Are you there?" The voice from the other line anxiously spoke.

"Y-yeah... I'm here..." You cleared your throat in an attempt to compose yourself, as tears slipped from your eyes. "Everything's fine, everything okay." You reassured her, but it seems like you yourself don't believe that.

Brushing a hand below your eyes, you wiped the tears off and cleared your throat once more. "W-which hospital is he in?"

As it turns out, you weren't allowed to visit him in the hospital, no matter how many times you would insist that you were close to him— well, you used to be. It took you at least twenty times to insist to visit him, when a hero puts a hand on your shoulder. The woman, the famous hero Ryukyu looked at you with so much sympathy. You never knew how much of a mess you have become until the hero offered you a handkerchief.

You were told once he was released from medical confines, he'll be incarcerated in Tartarus where you'll be allowed to visit him.  It's been a few years since you saw him... You find it funny when you just realised it's only been at least three years, or maybe five... Admittedly, five years are long years, that oddly felt like a few centuries. Through the gloomy years, you found yourself struggling to feel complete, when all those years you felt empty. Nothing but an empty shell who knew they needed to go on with life. All those years, you pushed people away that you thought would replace him...

So it comes to this. Star crossed lovers, separated and never to meet again. You hoped to meet him again, but why? Why did you have to meet him under these circumstance? Why did he do these? Why did he joined a cult who called themselves the yakuza? Why did he let them use him for their own gain? Why did he let them call him an expendable? A tool at their disposal? Why didn't he leave? Why is he loyal to them?

You shook your head. You didn't want to think about those things. It's inevitable to think about these things. You hate how your mind runs, it was just... So much. Too much. Too much bad thoughts, you tried to push them away but it always follow you like the plague. It seems like you were being followed by a dark cloud all your life, just as he is. The difference is, he gave up while you went on. Oh the parallels of your lives.

It's been a few years since you saw him. It's been a week since you've attempted to see him. It's been a minute and no one has spoken yet. The visiting room was cold, you can't help but to shiver at the cold, you regretted leaving the jacket in your car. Your gaze remained on the ground, denying your own tears, but your eyes betrayed you. The dark/light (e/c) tinted eyes were still puffy from last night's sorrows, the sorrows that you thought would go away once you saw him but it somehow got worst. It hurts him to see you like that, he himself was averting his gaze as well. The only barrier between the couple was the glass, but the obvious tension was easily identified. There were no other people in the room, it was only you and your long lost love.

"Cold?" He breaks the silence with his small voice. You were stunned, you intended to reply but your own voice alludes you. With a sigh, you nodded. You finally found the courage to look up, looked him in the eyes. Purple. His purple eyes were as glossy as yours, but you didn't want him to see you cry. You can see how he's hurting the way you were. With that, you looked away the instant he looked away.

"Yeah, it's cold. The facility's colder than I thought when I'm not wearing the uniform." You replied, easing the atmosphere with small talk. "I uh, I'm kinda interning here and I thought I was used to the cold."

"Oh, alright then." There it was again. The tense atmosphere. The obvious sense whenever someone's holding what they feel, concealing their emotions, hiding their true intents, pretending to be okay. You couldn't take it. You used to be shamelessly draping your arms around his body, running your hand through his hair, stroking his jaw... But now? You can't even look him in the eye and have a normal conversation- scratch that- an intimate conversation.

With yet another sigh, you looked him in the eye. "I missed you." He slowly glances up to see you, tears coating your eyes and pooling. "I miss you everyday, every night... There are no moments in my life where you are absent in my thoughts. I was worried, I was scared for you. I was confused because I thought that as years went by I'd move on and forget about you, but I barely tried." You choked on your own sobs, attempting to speak through tears as your throat clenches.

"Y/N..." The bespectacled male lowly spoke, sympathy and sorrow coated his voice.

"Shin... I died the day you left, and I thought it was all my fault you left. You pushed me away when I tried to help you until you decided to leave me!" He looked away from you out of guilt. You were right, he pushed you away. He shoved you away and left you in an emotional mess. You didn't betray him, he betrayed himself. "All I wanted to do was to make you smile, I wanted you to see the world is not a filled with liars. I only wanted you to be happy. I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough." Heaving a deep breath, you wiped the tears with your sleeves, stubbornly wiping it off but it all comes down streaming back down again.

"I loved you, Shin. I STILL LOVE YOU! YOU WERE MY EVERYTHING LIKE I USED TO BE YOUR EVERYTHING." Your voice was shrill, all your emotions came out like a flood from a dam. You were breaking down in front of him for the first time since you last saw him, since he last saw you. You were breaking down like you last saw him. "But fuck my feelings, I guess. You have a crazy cult leader with a bird mask to worship, I guess." You chuckled, voice cracking with grief.

His chest squeezed with guilt. He attempted to speak, but no words came out of his mouth. He was loyal to Overhaul, he never thought of you while he was busy serving him. He was happy under the rule of the yakuza leader, while you suffered with grief because of him. Overhaul?  He seems to forget about his name until you mentioned him. He was loyal to him, he relied on him, he let him use him as a tool for his own achievements for the greater good. It's when he notices a ring by your finger.

"So you're married now... Congrats on that..." His voice pulled you out of your thoughts.

"Huh?" With a confused gaze, you blew your nose off in a handkerchief you brought. His gaze fell on the floor with guilt and shame when you tried to ask what he meant, only to connect two and two, your gaze fell on your ring finger. "Oh, it's the ring..." You pocketed your handkerchief before taking the ring off.

"It comes in pair, if you're curious... But believe me, I barely interacted with people who had romantic pursuits towards me..." Your hand reached from your bag, and pulled out a box. A black velvet box with another ring inside. "I... I..." not able to interpret your own thoughts well in a decent sentence, you simply showed him the box.

Tears were streaming down from his eyes in a rapid pace. Regret filled his whole body as you held the small box. Despite of its small size, it contained a bright future, a happy future for the two of you... But he was too late. He's strayed far away and he can no longer see himself accepting it when all he did was to hurt you.

"I planned to propose in our graduation... But our situation took a wrong turn and now we're here... I don't even know if you still feel the same towards me. For all I know, you fell in love with your Overhaul. Hell, you even let him use your body to do his biddings..." You winced at how wrong it sounded. "It seems to be more serious sounding in my head, but you know what I mean."

There was silence for a moment... Of course it'll return again, you did all the talking after all. He doesn't seem to be interested talking.

"L/N-san, visiting hours are over." You heard the voice from the speaker spoke. You were devastated, but you nodded and stood up to gather your bag, ready to leave when he spoke.

"I... I'm sorry I pushed you away, I'm sorry that I always assumed the worst. I'm sorry you suffered because of me..." He pressed a clenched fist against glass with a regretful gaze. "I... I still love you. I never stopped having feelings for you no matter how many times I denied it and I regret doing that."

You laughed through tears. "You dork..." Pressing your palm over the glass, you looked deeply in his eyes. Purple. Purple with tiny specks of stardust and gloss. "I will love you no matter what happens. I will love you until my dying breathe."

He returns the gesture, pressing his palm into the glass against yours. You can feel the faint, warm sensation of his touch only to be separated with a glass barrier. Right there and now, you wanted to pull him the collar of his shirt to kiss him, but the glass was a huge cockblocker. For the first time in a few years, you didn't force a smile. You didn't struggle to smile. You didn't smile out of nostalgia or from a happy memory of him. You were smiling genuinely without a struggle, and not just a memory. You were smiling in front of him again like how you smiled at him all those years.

"Four eyes..."

"My doll..." He presses his forehead on the glass, in which you returned the gesture back. The cold surface was unbearable, but it was the closest way you can get to his proximity.

"I'll return. Promise me you'll change?"

"For you? I will."

Wooo! That's a wrap!

Thanks for reading! I really enjoyed writing this one-shot, that is inspired by multiple break up songs and love songs that I will credit right now!

The one that got away, by Katy Perry

Love builds a garden, by Elton John

And lastly, Mine by Taylor Swift.

Thanks for reading!