"She tries too hard, it's like messaging kid" Channel claimed.

"That sounds about right to be honest" Calci replied.

"Look at this one" Channel pointed at the screen before she read out the particular message displayed
"'OMG ur dat grl frm dat dope flowa shp' - then she's used a load of smiley and shocked faces"

"I know a few languages but I don't know how you decoded that?" Calci wondered.

"She chats crap, look at this" Channel said as she moved on
"'iz u n da ownr fam' - then a load of upside down question marks, then she posts - 'iz sumfk rong wid hr we nvr c hr n shi lukz sik' - this is when I stopped messaging, then the survey request came through our business YouFace page" Channel added as she bought up the message
"It's saying our search index is due to expire and new legislation allows requires us to update our details by filling out the survey"

"Every bit of that went over my head love" Calci replied with a hint of boredom.

"She's tryna trick us into giving her personal details" Channel offered flatly "and she probably thought I was stupid enough to fall for it; I'm gonna guess she assumed right that I run our business page"

"What a trickster" Calci stated as she moved in for another glance at Channel's phone.

"She's not tricky enough; she opened her catfish account using the same email address she uses for her legit profile, and the fake profile pic's obviously some model or poser" Channel claimed as she directed said picture to blow up to full screen, revealing a young, buff, topless male, wearing a cap, stood amongst bright, likely studio lighting.

Phyllis lay sleeping in a king-size bed, beside her phone and a few discarded cans of cider, slightly staineing the white sheets.

Her phone buzzed.

Startled awake, she scrambled to her rear, in the process knocking a polythene container containing half eaten steak and chips open and onto the sheets.

Phyllis picked up the phone and began to focus on what it displayed...

'Soz' for the l8 reply, I was bzi. Yeah she's fam and shes got a pigment condition'

Phyllis immediately got to composing her response.
She then stopped, looked to a bedside table then scooted over to it as she pushed the cans to the ground.
Phyllis grasped a few sheets of paper then spread them upon the bed before her before she returned to typing...
'Rrrr por her, soz to her dat' - crying cartoon face followed

'Don't feel 2 sorry 4 her tho'
came a response within around five seconds, followed by a separate message...
'She's a white witch, so allz gud'

Looking a little perplexed, Phyllis placed down her phone and reached for her small laptop that sat beside the remaining print outs.
She placed it on her notes and opened it; disrupting its sleep.
Phyllis impatiently waited on her browser to load, once it did so, she input 'white which' into the search bar.

"So how's our little portfolio on our Phyllis going?" Calci asked Channel whilst facing a small, portable television.

"Too easy! She's got her whole profile on public" Channel claimed with a puzzled looking frown
"She logs her every single move, even getting in taxis"

Both Channel and Calci sat on Calci's bed in her living space.

"Do you know if she's home now?" Calci asked as she turned away from her television and towards Channel.

"I think she's home, 'coz she just commented on the footie" Channel said with a gesture towards the television, which too streamed football.

"Who does she support?" Calci asked with a raised brow.

"Eastcliff city" Channel replied.

Calci nodded "Not such a poser after all" she uttered.

"Hey Cal', she's got an events calendar" Channel confirmed.

Calci looked towards her before she continued "I should ransack her fancy house when she goes to midnight openings for... The M7... or Bloodwar 4"

Channel dropped her phone on the bed and made her way to the fridge.
Pulling open the door, Channel carefully shifted a clear bag filled with a suspect, blood looking content...
"Cal' if you're gonna let people use your fridge, you can't keep nastiness in it"

"All valuables love, great for the plants" Calci confirmed.

Channel looked over to the corner of the room, a couple of large barrels stood out, side by side, topped with bin liners shielding their content.

"No doubt this muck is why the stink so bad" Channel claimed.

Calci said nothing.

"Would these plant help you? You know, get some more fresh air?" Channel asked.

Calci shifted her attention away from television and to Channel, then to what Channel viewed, then back to Channel.

"Yes! They will" Calci claimed, gaining ideas "great source of oxygen, and, if I plant mushroom, vitamin D, and don't I need it!"

Sat beside Calci on her bed, with a messy cheesecake in one hand and her phone in the other, Channel spoke...
"She just smiley faced the Bakeshire Witches page. Hang on..." Channel stopped and input a number of commands on her device "it's like, yep, it is, it's the first search result when you put 'white which'"

"She's like, putty" Calci smiled as she put a both hands on Channels shoulder.

"Are you sure you want people thinking you're a witch, on top of... you know" Channel asked.

"Don't worry about it" Calci answered.