(y/n) - your name

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I don't know how long I had been walking for but I was growing tired quickly, praying that I don't get sunburnt for however long I was outside. And with that, I don't know if the universe hated me or wanted to give me some bittersweet grace, but I hear the wheels of a car slowing down on the gravel next to me and I look over to see that it was Five. I sneer at him and don't stop walking, increasing my speed actually as he slowed down next to me and rolled down his window.

"(Y/n), stop walking and get in the car." I ignore him and keep going. "(Y/n), just stop and get in." There was no way I was going to listen to him after what he did to me. I was mad, furious even. I wanted to hurt him like how he hurt me, wanted to claw him for his hateful words.

"(Y/n)-"

"-FUCK OFF!" I scream at him, moving to run into the forest on the other side of the road but he quickly teleported out of the car and stopped me, holding my arms.

"(Y/n), you know we don't have the fucking time-"

"-don't you dare touch me!" I shove him off, boiling with rage now.

"Just listen-"

"-why should I!? You didn't fucking listen to me! I'm not listening to you, I'm not doing anything you ask me to do!" He grinds his jaw, eyes narrowed at me and I glare at him back.

"You can't stay here-"

"-then kill me! What? Don't have the fucking guts to do it anymore!?" I shove him back by his chest and he stumbles back. "What happened to you wanting to 'rip me limb from limb'!?" I shove him back at each word he swore at me from before and he clenched his fists making me slightly scared but that wasn't going to stop him from provoking him. "The Little Boy who couldn't even keep his promise! A fucking joke is what you are!"

"(Y/n), just get in the car-"

"-leave me here! I'm insignificant! I can die here with the apocalypse and you'll be done with me just like you wanted!" I scream at him, tears welling up again but I hold them back. "Let me die! I deserve it, don't I!? I don't belong here, I don't belong at home, I don't belong anywhere-!" I hiss softly when I get slammed back against the car with Five holding my shoulders. "GET THE FUCK OFF ME!" I scream at him and a sudden thud echoes around us in the air. I was panting heavily, seething with so much anger but the one thing that brought me back to the present was the stinging pain on my palm. I look down at my hand that shook and was incredibly red, slowly looking up to see Five's head whipped to the side, his hair barely hiding the bruised red cheek.

I... I slapped him...?

He didn't even acknowledge the fact that I slapped him whereas I crumbled back against the car in shock.

I hurt him...

I reached out to apologise but I saw how my hand shook violently and I felt sick for laying a hand on him.

"Get in the car... please..." his voice cracked as he stood up straight but kept his eyes down on the floor to hide his face from me, his hands lying at his sides weakly and I nod. I couldn't even form words, reaching for the car door behind me and opening it to slip inside. I looked down at my hands, feeling numb and empty while Five just got in the car and drove off. My mind was blank and I sighed heavily as I ran my hands down my face in exhaustion.

I looked at the shops that went by me, one after the other whole cars also zoomed past. I just watched the scenery move past me as I laid my head against the window and crossed my arms, sighing heavily once I saw the alleyway in sight. Before Five could even cut the engine, I got out of the car and slammed the door hard behind me.

I leaned against the door with my arms crossed and jaw clenched as The Boy got out of the car, narrowing my eyes at him as he stops at the entrance of the alleyway and turns back to me. "Are you coming or what?" I roll my eyes at him, pushing off the car and brushing past him coldly. I hear him sigh but it didn't make me less mad at him. I had my backpack on my back with my clothes, Five pulling the suitcase out of the dumpster further into the alleyway before Luther show up.

"Where is everyone?" Luther huffs out as he glances at me standing far away from them and his who was looking at his watch.

"You're the first."

"What!?"

"Yeah." 

"Why am I here?" I mumble out in annoyance and both guys look at me, one in confusion and one with a blank look.

"Cause we have to get home. That means bringing you too." Five suddenly snaps at me and I frown, stepping back away from him. Luther looks at his brother in shock, stepping towards me and hiding me behind him as he held my arm gently behind him. Klaus soon comes in, stumbling around awkwardly and I know that he was fighting Ben to get him out of his body.

"We made it!"

"What do you mean 'we'?"

"Ben is possessing Klaus' body right now but Klaus is trying to get him out." I mutter out as I peek out from behind Luther, grimacing when Klaus turns around and pukes Ben out. Everyone immediately steps away from the mess in disgust.

"We've got 8 minutes left!" Five exclaims, looking around for the others in a slight panic. 

They wait, time ticking by and Luther slams the lid of the dumpster in frustration. "We've got a minute left!" I stand back from the chaos, watching everyone getting frustrated and I'm unsure if I should say something or if I should keep quiet.

"It was a simple task. It was a simple task! All we had to do was be here." Five and Luther both start pacing around the alley. "Didn't have to fight a giant sea monster, no. An army of mutants? Nein. It was handed to us on a silver platter!"

I sigh, finally speaking up. "Vanya got arrested by the FBI, Diego got taken to the Commission by Lila and the swedes are attacking Allison." I pipe up and Five whips his head to face me in anger. He had been fuming from this situation, almost turning red in frustration and he had snapped when I provoked him.

"What!? Are you fucking kidding me!? Why didn't you tell me!?" I flinch away from him, my heart racing in sudden fear and he blinks at me, taking a step back away from me with a frown on his face. "God damn it... shit." He sighs out in annoyance, throwing the suitcase in the air as it teleports away. "You should've told me." The Boy hisses lowly when he walked past me towards Elliot's place, grumbling and muttering about every sibling for themselves. "That close..." he sighs out.

Luther tells Klaus to go look for Allison before he walks up to me. "I'll handle Five ok." He says softly and I nod, watching him go up into the building.

I stayed in the alleyway as I tried to calm down my heart, going to sit down on the stairs since I couldn't bear to go up to Elliot's place.

Why do I keep messing things up?

I lean my head back against the door, looking up at the open blue sky, just watching the clouds go by for a while. I pull my legs to my chest, closing my eyes as I buried my head against my arms crossed over my knees.

I hear the door open behind me and lean forward so I don't fall back. "(y/n)?" I hear Luther softly, almost whispering carefully. I don't say anything and he shimmies past me to try and sit down on the ground next to me, shaking the Earth a little when he drops down. "Are you ok?" I tense up.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I grit out the words and the big man next to me sighs out.

"You don't seem like it."

"Luther, I'm fine-"

"-it just... you're a lot more quiet today..." I frown and pick my head up to look at him as he twiddles his thumbs together. "You don't seem like yourself."

"I'm fine." I mutter out before laying my head in my arms again and he sighs.

"Hey, come on." Luther gently tries to pry my arms away to take a peek at me but frowns when I let him. "You're crying..." I reach up to touch my cheeks that were wet, hastily wiping my tears away and get up but Luther stops me. "Hey, what's wrong?" I shake my head, not wanting to talk about it. "Look, I know that we aren't on the best of terms but you can tell me. Maybe I can help."

I frown, looking away. "I need to leave."

"What why?"

"I don't belong here, Luther. I need to leave before I cause anyone else problems."

"You're not causing problems (y/n)." I shake my head, grabbing my backpack to put it on.

"Everyone is getting hurt because of me. I'm a burden. I shouldn't even be here."

"Who told you this? Who made you think like this?" I don't say anything and Luther frowns. "It was Five wasn't it?" I don't say anything else, turning away as I gripped the straps. I feel a shadow move and hover above me, looking up to see Luther suddenly wrap his arms around me carefully and pulls me against his chest.

Is he hugging me?

I hold on my breath, waiting for him to crush me to death but he doesn't, just him gently petting my head hesitantly and I relax as I lay my head on his chest while trying to hold back my tears. "I don't like you being quiet like this. It isn't you. You're not smiling anymore like you used to."

"It's better for me to be quiet. You get annoyed with me. Everyone does." I mutter out and Luther sighs.

"Doesn't matter. Everyone gets on each other's nerves. It's normal." he chuckles softly. "Everyone is a pain in the ass to everyone else but we still care about each other. You're part of the family now."

The ape man lets go of me, his smile faltering when he thought he was able to make me feel better but I still felt like shit. He looked sad even and it made me feel even worse when I break out of the hug.

"Thanks for trying..." I whisper, my voice hoarse with unshed tears and I look behind me into the building to see Five leaning against the staircase railing. He had a blank face as he stared at the ground and Luther turns around to look at his brother.

"Five." Luther growls lowly, immediately standing up from the ground. "You need to apologise-" 

"-I need to go find myself." The Boy simply says and walks over to the both of us, teleporting in front of me. I look at him warily when he holds out his hand for me but I glare at him, smacking his hand away from me and getting myself up onto my feet. I ignore the brothers and walk into the building, heading up the stairs to Elliot's place.

"You have a plan?" Luther asks before I went into the bedroom and slammed the door shut, letting the brothers talk about meeting Old Five. "You fucked up Five." I could hear their faint voices behind the door and I move to sit down on the floor against the bed, just hearing the conversation.

"I just-"

"-and what's with the red cheek? Did she slap you!?"

"...Moving on, it's a desperation move, but... since our brain-dead siblings are incapable of meeting a simple deadline, I got no choice."

"No choice about what?"

"I have to find myself. I just arrived in Dallas 15 minutes ago." Five explains but Luther doesn't get it yet.

"Should I be worried about you?"

"Luther, if you recall, I was sent to 1963 on a job by the Commission to make sure the president was assassinated."

"Oh! So, wait, your old self is out here!"

Now he got it.

"Precisely."

"What, just walking around Dallas?"

"Walking around Dallas with a briefcase that can get us home."

"Oh, my god. Five, you're a genius!" 

"However, there are two significant problems with this plan. Problem number one: I am a trained assassin, arguably the most dangerous assassin in the space-time continuum. If I know me, I'm not going to react kindly to bumping into myself. Problem number two, and this is the real fly in the ointment here: you're not supposed to exist in close proximity to yourself in the same timeline. The side effects can be disastrous."

"Side effects? What sort of side effects?" Luther asks after Five gives a whole-ass lecture.

"Well, according to Commission Handbook Chapter 27, subsection 3b, the seven stages in paradox psychosis are:

1. Denial

2. Itching

3. Extreme thirst and urination

4. Excessive gas

5. Acute paranoia

6. uncontrolled perspiration

7. Homicidal rage."

"Homicidal rage!?"

"Yeah."

"Jeez, I don't know. This maybe isn't such a good idea Five."

"It's a Hail Mary. But what choice do we got, Luther?"

"I don't know, you already seem a bit squirrelly if I'm being honest. Not to mention emotional with the whole '(y/n)' incident." Luther tried to whisper but even I still could hear that. "You went crazy with worry after she disappeared last night. You spent the entire night trying to look for her-"

"-Luther, shut up-!"

"-I have never seen you so worried about anything or anyone before until last night."

"It's none of your business!"

"Fine, but I need to know what you did to her to make her so upset. What did you say Five? Cause she's hurting. A lot. She's been crying."

I frown, holding my knees to my chest.

I'm such a pain to everyone. For fucks sake...

Just leave me alone...

"She was crying...? I..."

"You're an asshole but you've gone too far with (y/n). I don't know what you did but you need to make it up with her before she leaves us. For good too if she makes good on her plans."

I don't hear anything for a while and I look behind over the bed at the door, brows furrowed at what was going to happen next and I jump when I hear knocking on the door. The knocks were gentle rasps before I hear a soft sigh. "(y/n)...?" I frown and turn away from the door, ignoring Five when I realised it was him knocking. "Look I'm... I-I need your help. I need you and luther to help me get through this one all right?"

That wasn't an apology.

I keep ignoring him and I hear him grumble incoherent words under his breath before his footsteps signal him walking away, hearing heavier ones before loud knocking. "(y/n)? You ok?" It was Luther this time. "Five has a plan and I know you're not feeling ok but... do you want to join us anyway?" I hear whispering and I raise a brow in confusion until the ape man talks again. "'In case the paradox psychosis gets too severe, I-I mean Five needs us both to help him stay on task'." I roll my eyes realising Five was telling Luther what to say.

"...Fine..." I sigh out.

"She said ok!" Luther gasps happily behind the door and that makes me crack a smile just for a bit before it falls. I get up on my feet, smoothing down my dress and I swing my backpack on before walking up to the door and whirling it open. The boys quickly take a step back away from the doorframe as if they were trying to hide the fact that they were eaves dropping, Five walking off awkwardly as he ruffles his hair and Luther looking away while whistling.

"Let's go." I mumble and the big ape-man nods before the two of us follow his brother out of Elliot's place down the stairs and through the front door. I immediately moved to walk behind the boys, keeping my distance from them but still close enough to not get lost. I had my head down watching the pavement, looking up to see Five looking around before he turns around to see me dawdling at the back behind him and his brother.

Why is he frowning all the time?

I hold my breath when he walks up to me and I freeze in my spot, stepping away from him in slight fear.

Is he mad?

He doesn't say anything to me but looks down at my hand and grabs it gently, tugging me forward in front of Luther but I quickly rip my hand away from him. I sneered at him as I crossed my arms, stepping away to stand next to his brother as he walked in the middle of us both. 

I catch a glimpse of the sad and hurt look on The Boy's face but I ignore him when he tries to talk to me. "(y/n)..." I suck in my breath hearing him say my name so heartbroken, my chest hurting and I frown as I looked away.

I didn't expect to be this hurt after our first fight.

You do realise he actually did hurt you, right?

I flinch as I reach up to touch my neck, feeling self-conscious of the marks when I realise people were looking at me as we walked to the pub.

He hurt me.

Even apologising for that won't make me forgive him.

Even if I had hurt him, nothing can make me forgive him.

I stay quiet in anger knowing I was going to hold a grudge against Five for a very long time.

But why does my heart ache?

Edited

Hehe, I got a good pause again lol