(y/n) - your name

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Hey... How's mum?" I was sitting on my bed, bundled up with the multiple blankets since I was freezing my ass off here with Christmas being so much colder than back home during winter. I was not adapted to this and I was so fucking cold and my sister was laughing at my despair knowing I was envious of the heat at her end. I had called her a couple times to catch up when I got back to New York, just to make sure everything was ok when Christmas got closer.

"Not good... She's not working, sleeping most of the time and she cries in the middle of the night..." I sigh, feeling terrible for leaving.

During my 4 year blip, my grandma, my mum's mum died on the day after Christmas in 2021 so this was the 3rd year without her. It was so hard on her. My mum couldn't go to her funeral because of the pandemic, she had to watch everything over a WhatsApp call and she had lost both her parents. She blamed herself for making excuses for not going when she was so sick since her other siblings were overseas to look after their mother. We just didn't have the money for her to travel. Not even enough for her to go alone like she did the last couple years. My sister and I haven't seen our grandparents since we were in our double-digit ages.

My sister cried with my mum... I didn't. I didn't know them well, we were so badly disconnected from the family and I was emotionally detached from my entire family.

Only my sister knew how to comfort my mum. I was useless in that regard.

"I'm sorry for leaving you over there alone. Look, I know it might not help but I sent over some money if things get too hard."

"You should've been here (y/n)... It's going to happen to us too since you willingly moved away and cut us off." my sister was angry. I get it.

"Tell mum to call me when she can, if she wants to talk to us." I try not to sound mad myself, saying goodbye to my sister and she ends the call. I run my hands down my face as I let out a heavy sigh, looking up to see Five peeking his head in with concern.

"Everything ok?

"Honestly no... am I a shit person that I'm just so disconnected from my family?" He blinks in surprise at my sudden question, walking over to sit down on the bed next to me as he wrapped his arms around me.

"You know I am the worst person to ask that right?" I snort lightly, leaning my head on his shoulder. "But I know you love them."

"It's getting harder to feel that around them Five... I've just become a bystander... I want to help, to feel the say way they do to certain situations but I just can't. I didn't even fucking cry when my grandma passed away on Christmas! I cut myself off from my dad, physically distancing myself from him and when he mentions how sad he is that I don't talk to him anymore like a daughter to their father, I get sad as well but I don't do anything to fix it cause I just can't bring myself to do it!"

"You want things to go back to how they were before your parents split." My mouth shot open. "You just want it to magically go back to being one big family, to try and wipe everything that had happened between them and pretend you could just go back to normal but you know it can't."

Five was right...

I wanted that... so bad but I knew it was no point. My family was broken and I didn't want to fix it anymore.

Five moved me to sit on his lap, pulling me into a tight hug as he rocked us softly. "Sorry about just dumping all that on you..." I mumble against his chest and he soothes my hair down as he rubbed my back.

"You should never have to apologise for moments like this." he kisses the top of my head and I smile at his kindness. "So I'm guessing Christmas is off the table?"

"Is that why you came in here? To ask if you wanted to celebrate Christmas?" I laugh lowly.

"...No, maybe. Ok yes. I wasn't sure what you wanted to do. My family used to hold secret Christmas' when the old man was knocked off cold for the night."

"Really? I didn't peg you to be someone that cared about celebrating Christmas." I look up at Five and he shrugs.

"We were kids back then, we tried to do what every other normal kid would do. I had to admit, I did like listening to Viktor read us Christmas stories as we all hung out in Luther's room. He had the Christmas tree hidden in his cupboard for the rest of the year until we snuck into his room to decorate it and spend the night together."

"That's actually adorable!"

"I thought it was just sad."

"Hey! It's cute that you all got to have childhood moments."

"You didn't?"

"We did. Mum had this small plastic Christmas tree we would decorate every year. She would bring it out as soon as December hit and me and my sister would help decorate it with her. She had this thing where she would buy specialised baubles for every single year with our names on them and put them on the tree. We had one since-" I furrow my brows, trying to remember how far back she had started that tradition from. "Anyway, we don't buy presents for each other cause we don't know what the other wants but we make compromises. If one of us really wants something during the year, mum would buy it saying it was our Christmas or birthday gift, like that."

"Grace was kind enough to get all of us gifts. We hid them all under our beds so the old man wouldn't find them." I look up at my boyfriend as he smiles lightly at the memory. "I always got my textbooks from her without having the need to steal them from the library."

"That's so sweet of her to do that. She truly loved you all."

"She would've invited all of us for Christmas dinner too..." I notice that sad distant look in Five's eyes and I squeeze his hands gently.

I guess we both miss spending time with family one way or another.

I anxiously looked at the time on my phone as I rushed around making dinner, making sure that everything was ready before Five got home from shopping. It was Christmas Eve and he had messaged me he would come home late tonight and that gave me the time to whip up something for him as Grace used to do. Granted, I didn't know what was in a traditional American Christmas dinner since I never did something like that but I just followed what I was shown online.

I had gotten Five a gift and hid it under our bed, a novel waiting for him on the bedside story when he wanted to read it. I also decorated the apartment kinda Christmasy as best as I could since it was so last minute and everyone was trying to buy things last minute as well.

I hear the locks of the door turning and I suddenly feel giddy. "Hey (y/n), I'm home." he calls out and I peek to the side before responding back like I always do.

"Hello!" I used to do the same thing with mum when she comes back home. I would say hello to her and she would say the same back to me. I hear Five carrying plastic bags before I see him and he smiles when he sees me, coming over to kiss my cheek before stopping short and looking around. "Surprise?"

I hope he likes it...

"You decorated the apartment." It wasn't much like I didn't make it too obvious that I did. I didn't move streamers or anything up on the walls since the landlord would kill me but I did subtle changes. Like putting some Christmas pillows on our couch, Christmas cloth on the coffee and dining table, some lights strung across our blinds and wreaths on our doors. Things like that.

"I did... is it bad?" Five quickly shakes his head and carefully sets the bags down to hug me.

"It looks amazing. Are you making Christmas dinner too?" he was surprised, looking around the kitchen at the numerous dishes I made.

"Yeah... I wanted to bring a familiar Christmas to you. I may or may not even have a gift for you hidden under the bed." He gasps as he looks at me.

"You didn't!?"

"You can check but don't open it until Boxing Day."

"Boxing day?"

"The day you open the presents?"

"You mean tomorrow, Christmas day."

"No, not tomorrow-wait you guys don't do Boxing Day!?"

"No..."

"Oh my god..."

"I'll open it after Christmas don't worry." Five chuckles as he picks up the bags again and walks towards the living room in front of me. "I got something for you." I safely turn off all the heat and stove in the kitchen before wiping my hands, walking towards Five as he takes multiple boxes out from the bags.

"A small Christmas tree!" I gasp, seeing the small box.

"And I got decorations too." Five smiles up at me as I beamed happily to see the decorations, sitting down next to him. "We can decorate it together..."

"Yes! Let's do it!" we take the time to set down a Christmas mat and build the Christmas tree with the fake snow on its branches, decorating it with streamers, lights, candy cane, Christmas figures and other items. Five put on the star and turned on the switch for the lights to glow and change colours steadily. "Oh, it looks amazing!"

"There's two more." my boyfriend says and I look at him as he carefully takes out two single packaged boxes. "I think you should put these on." I open them, tearing up as I see the beautifully decorated baubles.

"You bought them..." I take them out, admiring the shiny baubles that had the year on them.

"I got one for us," he turns the Umbrella Academy designed one to reveal both our names on it along with the rest of his family. "and one for your family." I turn the other around to see my name along with my sisters, my mums and my dads.

"Thank you Five... I didn't realise how much this meant to me..." I let out a shaky breath and he kisses my head before I gently put the baubles onto the Christmas tree for everyone to see proudly. I snap a picture of the whole Christmas tree and send it to my family to show them that I missed them.

"How about having that dinner? I don't want your hard work to go to waste." Five suggests and we get up, him setting up the table as I brought the food over to set it on the table before we ate together. Once we finish, I lead my boyfriend to the bedroom to give him his gift since I was impatient. "We don't have to-" I cut him off and pass him his gift, the both of us sitting on the bed as he opened it.

"I know, it's not much but I wanted to make something for you that you could keep with you, something sentimental with your family in case my old phone gets destroyed or something." Five opens the scrapbook I made him, with all the pictures I had taken throughout my visit to the Umbrella Academy world. Every single picture, bad or good.

Five smiles warmly at the pictures, turning to me to kiss my forehead. "Thank you (y/n), really. I didn't have anything to remind me of my family so I appreciate this." I smile happily that he loved the gift and I got up to leave when he suddenly tugs me back. "I got something for you too sweetheart."

"What why?"

"What do you mean why." Five chuckles lightly as he stands up, taking a small box from his coat.

"Five-"

"-no, I'm not proposing." he smiles as he opens the box to reveal a dark silver ring with a black garnet gemstone. It was the most beautiful ring I had ever seen, the light shining on the inside to see the Umbrella Academy sigils etched into the metal. "It's a promise, I promise that I will be by your side for the rest of my life." I look up at Five in shock. "I know that you don't want to get married or even think about it and that's fine with me." I hold back my tears as he puts the ring on my ring finger on my right hand. "I will never leave you again and I hope you never leave me again." I look at the ring as it shines, taking it off before slipping it on my ring finger on my left hand. I look up to see a happy glimmer in his eyes as he holds my hands and kisses my fingers.

I know that I never wanted to get married, that I never saw the use in that title after seeing how damaging it could be if it failed. Seeing my parents split apart, I didn't want to commit to being married when I figured no one would love me enough to want to marry me or be with me for a long time.

But... seeing Five so happy nowadays, and being around me... maybe I wouldn't mind having that title with him in the future. We're still too new together but maybe, maybe I will change my mind for him.

Edited