(y/n) - your name

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I sigh softly as I slowly wake up, feeling warm and safe as I feel Five curl around me with his chest pressed up against my back. I could feel his even breaths softly blowing over my hair, his hands holding onto me desperately. I was in bliss, stroking his arms softly that wrapped around my waist and my shoulders, holding me tight to him as the sun peeks through the blinds. I knew I had to get up for work but I didn't want to, I just wanted to stay here with him. I slowly and carefully turn around in his arms, pausing every second or so when his breath hitches and I make sure I don't wake him up. I manage to face him, his hands gripping my back as he buries his face against my neck. He looked so peaceful like this, so free from stress and worry and I hated that I had to leave him.

I stroke my fingers against his cheeks, brushing his hair back and he sighs softly, cuddling into me and I smile. I run my fingers through his hair, gently brushing them down in back and his arms to have them loosen around my body. He relaxes more from my touch and I carefully slip out of the bed. I press a long lingering kiss on his forehead before I silently get ready for work. I brushed my teeth and washed my face, putting on my clothes and doing some light makeup. I went to the kitchen and dug out my coffee for Five when he wakes up, setting it on the dining table for him to find it along with a note that I was going to work and would come back home around 5pm.

I check on him one last time, terrified that if I leave, he would disappear again. I grib the door tightly, trying to pull away and I squeeze my eyes shut as I gently shut the door before leaving my apartment.

The minute I left my apartment and until I got back was the worst feeling ever. I had a feeling of dread sinking in my stomach the entire time, like a heavy sickness that I couldn't shake off. And it didn't help that I was home past 10pm with work just being busy and not the time I told Five I would come back. I was scared and worried for Five and about him.

If he left, if he was just a hallucination, a figment of my imagination. A wishful dream.

I open the door to find myself in darkness, switching the light on and walking in to pause when I see the chaos and haphazardous mess that tore though my apartment like it was hit by a tornado. My clothes were strewn every, my books and items fallen off from the shelves and on the floor. I narrow my eyes in anger but I hear sniffles and a phone ringing from my bedroom, setting my stuff on the couch and walking over to see the same mess.

But with Five on the floor surrounded by receipts and notes, pieces of newspapers and calendars. He was crying softly, his shaking hands holding onto the note I left him in the morning as he whispered where I was over and over again.

"Where is she? She was supposed to be back hours ago... Did she get hurt? Did someone take her? Did she leave me?"

That last one hurt me.

"I didn't leave Five." I whisper and he quickly looks up to see me and his eyes well with tears.

"You didn't leave..."

"I promised you I wouldn't."

"You said you would be back by 5..."

I walk over and kneel down in front of him as he dove to hug me. I held him tightly as he clung to me and I tear up from hurting him. "I'm sorry... I didn't mean to hurt you." he held me so tightly like a lifeline and I see non-perishables stacked around him as if-

-he thought he was in the apocalypse again.

He had another episode.

"I'm so sorry." I whisper into his hair, seeing him with sheets of calendars with notes on them and I knew he tried to clam himself from his episode by recalling what he did the previous days. I lean back to brush his hair back, wiping away his tears. "You had another episode...?" he looks away in shame, an angry frown on his face. "Hey, no its ok. You shouldn't be mad at yourself."

"... I... had another episode..." he admits in defeat and I coax him to look at me.

"You did very well to calm yourself."

"Those months back at the Acadmy home... when you looked after me after we came back from Dallas..." he sigh softly. "helped... it wasn't fair to you to put up with me, to look after me with my PTSD and episodes-"

"-Five, shut the fuck up." he blinks at me in shock. "I would do it all over again to make sure you were ok." I hold his cheeks to have him look at me, to show him I meant it. "I would do it hundreds of times to make sure you were safe. Do you understand me." he nods and leans into my palm as I kiss his forehead. "I'm just sorry for not being here when you had to go through one by yourself..."

"It's not your fault... I'm used to it... I had to get used to it." I frown at his words knowing he must've been so scared when he was alone, and going through those traumatic hyper-real flashback episodes with no help. "I'm ok now... really..." Five holds my hands in his and moves them to his lap, looking out of my bedroom at the mess and his frown deepens. His eyes dull with heavy guilt and shame. "I'm sorry... I wrecked your apartment... I didn't mean to-"

"-hey, its ok. It was just clothes and non-shatterables. As long as you were ok."

"But-"

"-Five really, most of it were just my books and clothes. That's fine."

"...I-I was just trying to look for you, trying to find out where you went when you didn't come back and I panicked-I didn't have your number, or the address where you worked-I didn't mean to go through your receipts and notes and stuff-"

"-Five, its alright." I whisper, squeezing his hand to calm his spewl of words. "To make up for it, how about you help me clean up." he nods and I help him up back on his feet. He was still shaky, a sigh I never thought I would ever see. My strong, independent Five, terrified and vulnerable. I... hated it. I hated seeing him so scared like this, so scared of the world like this. "Are the episodes frequent?" I ask as he helps me clean up my apartment.

He shakes his head no. "They used to be at first but... they slowly stopped a few months later. It's been... years since I had one."

We quietly clean up and fix everything in no time, me showering after and dressing in my nightgown after ready for sleep when I see Five sitting on the couch with his head in his hands. I silently sit down next to him, wondering what I could do to help cheer him up.

"Five?"

"I was just... so scared you were gone... that you left too... like the others..." I hold his hand, letting him know I was there by him until he calmed down and realised I was still here. He breathes in and looks at me sadly as he sits up, toying with my fingers. "How can you love a broken man?" he whispers and I look at him sadly at how hurt he sounded.

"We're all broken Five... doesn't mean I won't love you. Theres just... more of you for me to happily be able to love. You deserve happiness, deserve love. You're still human." he looks at me sadly, a soft look in his eyes as he holds my cheeks and presses a gentle kiss on my forehead.

"I don't deserve you..." he whispers, caressing my cheeks.

"I should be saying that." I tease lightly and that gets a little smile on his face. "Come on, you must be tired." I pull him up to go to bed. He holds my hand tightly and we settle beneath the blankets when he climb into the bed, facing each other as we just lay there. Five was playing with my hair, brushing his fingers against my features.

"I don't want to go to work tomorrow." he whispers.

"Me either but that's the life of an adult unfortunately." he chuckles softly at my words. "Good thing I washed your suit for tomorrow."

"That and... I'm afraid you'll disappear..."

We fall silent for a bit and I get an idea. "When's your next day off?" I ask and he blinks at me.

"Next weekend."

"Oh good! Me too!"

"Why?"

"Well..." I blush, realising this was another step into our relationship we were taking even though we kinda skipped over it. "Do you... want to move in together?"

Asking that felt so... domestic. Like a little blissful slice of life moment and I loved it. Even though Five and I were already living together previously in strange situations, plus his family, living together where its just the two of us now... felt intimate. Romantic. And nerve-wracking. I didn't know why I was so nervous but I really wanted him to say yes.

I needed him and he needed me.

"I-it's ok if you say no. We may be rushing into things-like with your work and if my apartment is further away from your location so I don't know it will be easier or harder for you and then your contract with your apartment-what am I saying? Why am I saying you should move in with me, i don't mind moving in with you-" my voice muffles when Five kisses me, shutting me up so easily and I melt in his arms as he pulls me into his chest. I kiss him back as I grip his shoulders, letting him pull my thigh around his waist before he pulls back slowly.

"I would love to." he whispers against my lips, pecking them with a bright smile and his green eyes shine with happiness. I love seeing the light in his eyes sparkle like that and I beam at him. "I would love to move in with you. My apartment is... well smaller than yours. It's one bedroom and one bathroom, yours is double. And don't worry about work or my bond, i can sort those things out no problem."

"Really?" I gasp and he nods.

"As long as you're happy to have me live with you-"

"-please! It... gets lonely living here by myself..."

"Then it's settled. I'll move in, help you with rent, live with you, have a life with you..." he smiles happily at the idea, kissing me over and over again. "I can drop you to work and pick you up, cook dinner for you, go out with you, be able to come home and see you. It would make everything worth living..." he whispers as he kisses me again, his hands wrapping around my waist and in my hair to hold me close.

"Your dream is slowly becoming real Five... live a normal life..."

"As long as it's with you (y/n)."

The next morning Five had woken up earlier than I have with his alarm going off. I hear him apologise quickly before turning it off, feeling him kiss my cheek and whispering a good morning before he climbed out of bed.

I open one eye sleepily to see him stretch, a look of bliss on his face and he chuckles seeing me awake. "Go back to sleep sweetheart." he whispers and I grumble as I go back to sleep. I faintly hear him wash up and brush his teeth before heading to the kitchen, him trying to minimise the noise of him making his coffee that I could smell. I slowly start to fall asleep again, smelling something nice and feeling one last peck on my head before I hear Five leave to go to work as the front door locks after him.

I wake up a few hours later to go to work and I walk into the kitchen to see that he made me some tea and toast which warmed my heart. Next to the breakfast he made me was a note with his phone number and home address on it and I beam as I immediately call him.

"Hello?"

"Five! Thank you for the breakfast."

"You're welcome sweetheart. It wasn't much at the moment-"

"-no no, it was perfect. Thank you. When are you coming back home?"

"Unfortunately its exam week so I'll be busy with a lot of test marking. I'll be pulling late nights at the office for the next few days."

"Please take care of yourself."

"I promise you sweetheart, will."

"Ill see you next weekend. I'll start getting things ready before I see you, let my landlord know I'm leaving. And then we can slowly move some of my things into yours until my contract ends."

"I can't wait Five."

"Ill see you very soon, darling."

"Have fun at work! Go scare some university kids! Give 'em hell!"

I smile hearing Five chuckle over the line while I just blushed red over the new pet name.

"You have fun at work too sweetheart. Take it easy. I'll come back home soon."

"I'm counting on it."

Edited

------------------------------------

THEY STARTED FILMING SEASON 4 AND I'M NOT FUCKING READY! THEIR FINAL SEASON PLEASE NO GOD NO 😭😭😭