18 Days
Chaoticmocha

Judge: Spider-Hawk
Grammar: The grammar is good enough, yet it has room to improve and it has a lack of descriptive words to tingle the imagination.
Character Building: The characters had distinctive personalities and were easy to connect to, although were a bit superficial at times.
Writing Style: For the first two stories, I felt as though the author was trying too hard to show the pain inside of the main characters through their thoughts. They were telling their feelings a whole lot more than they were showing them.
Plot Uniqueness: There was little plot other than the progressive relationship of the couples, which made it a bit boring.
Overall Enjoyment: Still, it was fun to read and made me smile

Judge: dark_queen18
Actually I enjoyed reading your story. It's like that some vivid images flash in my mind while reading it. Then the way you write your story it's easy to understand. Just a reminder, you don't usually put the dialogue on the first part of your story. And also work on your comma placement and in your dialogue tags. By the way, goodluck.

A Dreamer's Journal
Cristalina_Starr

Judge: dark_queen18
To be honest, I like your story. And I love the sudden plot twist of your story. The way you write your story it's easy to understand, for me. Just a reminder work on your comma placement. By the way, goodluck.

Judge: Spider-Hawk
Grammar: The grammar could be better, but it also could be a lot worse.  Character Development: The characters were abstract and rather ridiculous, which while being accurate for ten-year-olds in a dream, were still clingy to read about.
Writing Style: The book somewhat seperated and switched the writing style unexpectedly with no smooth transitions between the two.
Plot Uniqueness: The imagination of the subconscious mind is unlike anything that can be forced and thus far makes an unpredictable and sometimes intriguing story.

Altered State
squirrelg

Judge: dark_queen18
Honestly, I'm amazed to your story. For me, you're a talented writer. And I like the character of Jonathan on how he handled the situation. I think Jonathan lost his memory. And also I like the uniqueness of your plot, your writing style is easy to understand. Gosh! Your story is full of mystery and I like it. By the way, goodluck.

Judge: Spider-Hawk
Grammar: Quite well done in the grammatical area. I was able to read through the majority of the book without picking out mistakes.
Character Building: The characters were meger and did not have very much depth to them. They have almost no personality and were simply showing emotions and feelings as they went about their days.
Writing Style: The writing is conciece, clear, and inviting. The words flowers smoothly over my mind. There is a need for work on the transitions within chapters.
Plot Uniqueness: The plotline is somewhat usually and rather hard to follow. There was a flow of events, yet it was inconsistent and not logical.
Overall Enjoyment: It was nice to read a book with pretty words, yet the story itself was not appealing, especially the ending. While the idea was good, the execution of it was below par, in my opinion. It didn't sparkle.

Back to Thorn Hill
Annalisa_Coppolino

Judge: Spider-Hawk
Grammar: The writer did quite well in capturing the beauty of the story with their choice of words and took out the time to make it flawless of typos, yet there were a few awkward sentances with dangling descriptive phrases.
Character Development: The characters were intreging and relatable, each with their own place in the story.
Writing Style: They wrote elegently and proficiently, adapting the tone and manner of Victorian writers, yet the style dropped some when the people spoke. It would be nice to read with such a tone all the way through.
Plot Uniqueness: It was somewhat hard to follow the plotline, although the storyline flowed smoothly. The twist at the end seemed to have no purpose in relation to anything else, yet the writer presented it in such a way that made it feel right at home in the story.
Overall Enjoyment: I am proud to have read this true short story. Although as a short story, it would be nice for the story. to flow easily among all parts so that I could read it as one big blurb of paragraphs and not notice that it was ever separated, although this was only really a problem for the epilogue.

Judge: dark_queen18
Truthfully, your story wasn't easy to understand at first because you're using too much flowery words and it confused me because at first, your character was the one narrating the story then it shifts at third person instantly. Then I've noticed that you're not using a punctuation marks. By the way, goodluck.

Boy on the bench
GotTheStyles

Judge: dark_queen18
When I read your story at the first part I felt mad to Jennifer, because of her character. She's too judgemental and a cold hearted person but, what I like the most to your story is when she learn from her mistakes. And honestly, Harry Styles is too mysterious, I don't know who he is? Is he an angel? Keep up the good work!

Judge: Spider-Hawk
Grammar: It was well written, yet it has some awkward sentences structures, is need of puncuation marks, and lacks paragraph unity in some places.
Character Building: This story is designed to focus on the characters, and the author did a stellar job on with them.
Writing Style: Reading it feels a bit awkward at some points, yet it is hard to pinpoint why it feels awkward.
Plot Uniqueness: It is a rather typically plot, but it was well executed and enthralling.
Overall Enjoyment: Full points here. This story had me crying, smiling, and dreaming at the same time. It gives me hope and shares a message that should spread like wildfire.

Dear mom, I'm sorry
_Diarra_16

Judge: koolkatisme
It was totally a page turner! I really like the plot and I can relate to it 'cause it's all about  a mother and a daughter. I almost cried!

Judge: Spider-Hawk
Grammar: It was difficult to follow what was going on in the story because of the lack of proper grammar.
Writing Style: It is in need of a rewrite rather than just editing. The present progressive tense of the story is a tricky form of writing to use and, in this case, just made the entire story confusing.
Plot Uniqueness: This is not the first story like this in existence, yet the dynamics of it were weaker than many good ones. There are many plot holes that need to be filled for it to have a good foundation.
Overall Enjoyment: I was cringing, frowning, and sighing in fustratation the whole way, yet this story has a chance to shine if it is done right.

Judge: dark_queen18
Honestly, you broke my heart into pieces. Then, I remember the saying that: regrets is always in the end. Gosh! I'm speechless to your story, all I can say is you did a great job. By the way, goodluck and keep writing.

Divided
sscott8

Judge: koolkatisme
I'm impressed by the way the writer writes him/her work. It's like you won't understand it if you're not a deep person. It was awesome!

Judge: Spider-Hawk
Grammar: There were almost no grammatical mistakes, just some punctuation errors and misplaced words.
Character Development: There were really only two characters, yet that was all that the author needed to get the story.
Writing Style: It was a bit difficult to understand what was happening unless you paid sharp attention to every sentence, yet it added to the effect.
Plot Uniqueness: The perspective was different than expected and went right along with the story.
Overall Enjoyment: This story is the work of someone with a maturity that teachers and parents should hope for all of their younglings.

Judge: dark_queen18
Actually, the beginning of your story was great. But, it feels like there's something missing to your story. Honestly, I can't feel the emotion of the character to your story. Just a reminder work on your comma placement. By the way, goodluck.

Drowning
XxQueen-_-MiaxX

Judge: koolkatisme
It's unique! I like the writing style and I really do understand every word. Same thoughts as mine!

Judge: Spider-Hawk
Grammar: It was very good, but there were quite a few typos that made some things difficult to piece together.
Character Development: The characters were strong and translucent.
Writing Style: The writer did an  excellemt job showing how the characters were feeling by how they presented the story.
Plot Uniqueness: It was interesting to read, and the cliches that it had were ones that are often seen in life.

Judge: dark_queen18
Gosh! I'm so amazed to your story. And I clearly understand that Lola is afraid to death. And honestly, you gave me goosebumps while reading your story. You did an amazing job! By the way, goodluck.

Habiba
let_alpha_write

Judge: koolkatisme
Clearly, this work is about feminism. The plot is so powerful and the story really shows the woman's worth and their perspective or vision. Girl power!

Judge: Spider-Hawk
Grammar: The story okay, yet it is in need of rewriting; not editing, rewriting. There are many mistakes and sentances that should be restructured entirely due to breaking grammatical rules.
Character Development: Habiba was strong and determined to survive in the unjust society that she was born into. She did not stop fighting, nor let things get to her.
Plot Uniqueness: The story kind of cut off short, leaving readers with questions and sadness.
Writing Style: There was a flow of thought, yet that was about the only structure the writer provided.
Overall Enjoyment: Overall, it was rather hard to read and thusfar difficult to enjoy. I believe that there is potential for it to be something great, yet at this point, it seems to exist for the sole purpose of it is to tell how twisted Habiba's society is. There is nothing wrong with that, but this book is dry.

Judge: dark_queen18
I like your story from the start until the end. Shocks! It feels like that there's some vivid images flash to my mind. And you know what, I'm speechless to your story. You did a great job! Goodluck!

Inside the Asylum
avadel

Judge: koolkatisme
Every chapter has its own impact and the word choice was good!

Judge: Spider-Hawk
Grammar: Despite this being a series of poems, punctuation is still needed in the sentences, even if it all becomes one long sentance with twenty commas and semicolons.
Character Development: There was not much by way of character development, and the girl seemed to ping-pong all over the place even within one thought (which is exactly how she should be portrayed).
Writing Style: Your poetry was stellar, but I was disappointed to find bits of the story on photos. While in a printed book, you can print the photos on the page, here on Wattpad, it takes data or wifi to load them. People reading offline will not be able to enjoy the full story.
Plot Uniqueness: There isn't so much a plot as following the mind of a single character, and that in itself was strangly done.

Judge: dark_queen18
For me your beginning is interesting and you catch my attention very well. Actually the words that you used is too simple, yet so powerful. Then, I think that she's crazy or something? I suggest that you can use some punctuation marks. That would be all. Goodluck!

Isla down the Aisle
_Starcasm_

Judge: dark_queen18
Honestly, I like your story from the start until the end. Although I notice some errors and wrong spelling. I like the uniqueness of your plot. And in your writing style, there's no problem with that for me, cause I understand it well. But, I notice some long sentence that I'm almost breathless while reading it. Reminder, if your sentence is too long to read don't forget to use a comma. Then, you describe well your character and I like the idea when Isla have the courage to fight her love from Connor. All in all I enjoy your story, goodluck.

Judge: Spider-Hawk
Grammar: Noticeable mistakes in grammar, such as punctuation and incorrect word usage, but was not difficult reading because of it.
Character Development: I was rooting for Isla and Connor so hard, I thinking I started shipping them.
Writing Style: Some parts were a bit tricky because of the way they were written, but the author did a good job of showing brash and raw emotions.
Plot Uniqueness: The ending was a bit out of place, not what happened but rather how it happened. Such a thing has been done before, but I liked how who spoke against the wedding was switched.
Overall Enjoyment: I am quite glad that I was able to read this.

It's the Small Things that Matter
xDRAG0N0VAx

Judge: dark_queen18
For me, your story is amazing. The uniqueness of your plot is a two thumbs up for me. Honestly, when I read your story it feels like that I'm watching some movie although I'm just reading it. You have a talent on how to capture na attention of your reader. By the way, I like the character of Cyrian. And I enjoy your story, goodluck.

Judge: Spider-Hawk
Grammar: Noticeabel errors and typos.
Character Development: Strange characters who did not act like actual people would.
Writing Style: It was a bit difficult to follow the story because of how the storyteller kept switching from telling the story to it being narrated by the author.
Plot Uniqueness: I feel as though I am missing a beginning and an ending to the story and have just been given some piece of the middle. It just jumps in and falls out again.
Overall Enjoyment: This story has rough edges and coating but it's core is not weak. Time and effort should be put into it to rewrite and reforge it. Try reading other famous short stories and imitating some of their attributes.

R is for Rebel
katieishere

Judge: dark_queen18
Honestly your story is a little bit cliche but, even if it's cliche I like how you make your story interesting. And I like the way of your writing it's easy to understand and not confusing to the readers like me. By the way, I love your ending. I enjoy your story, goodluck.

Judge: Spider-Hawk
Grammar: I think that I might have seen one or two typos and errors.
Character Development: I found it a little odd how a girl would hang out with some dude she never met, but it felt right.
Writing Style: The writing was a bit dry. Try adding more imaginative words and phrases to spruce it up.
Plot Uniqueness: This plot has been used so many times, but it was used the right way and was thusfar exceptionally done.
Overall Enjoyment: This might be. short story, but I want a sequel nonetheless. It lit up all my happy feelings.

Siren Point
allamason

Judge: dark_queen18
All I can say is your story is so amazing. The way how you narrate your story it's easy to understand for the readers like me. It feels like some vivid images flashes on my mind while reading your story. By the way, I enjoy your story, goodluck.

Judge: Spider-Hawk
Grammar: Little or no mistakes in tbe grammar, although some sentances were awkward.
Writing Style: It was a tricky to follow the story at the end, with the fast paced action part. It wasn't quite smooth enough to read easily, for you had to pay attention to every word to catch what was happening. Also, the parts that were supposed to be eerie and foreboding were a bit anticlimactic.
Plot Uniqueness: I did not expect what happened. The progression of the story is lacking in the form of interest. The only thing to keep the reader hooked are those little sentences with promise of excitement, yet the excitement was short-lived and unfulfilling.
Overall Enjoyment: This was a fun story, but it would've been nice to know if they escaped or not. The ending leaves it open for both options.

Slaying Her Beast
ArielMasters

Judge: dark_queen18
Honestly, I notice some errors, like you forgot to use punctuation marks. But, I was totally amazed to your story the unique plot twist that I didn't expect to the end. Gosh! You're so amazing, you catch my attention. All I can say is I enjoy reading your story, goodluck.

Judge: Spider-Hawk
Grammar: A few sentences structures were sloppy and words were misplaced, but they did not impair the story.
Character Development: My stardust, I love Soren and Belle. They are so cute together.
Writing Style: I feel as though the story were rushed and it lack smooth transitions. Instead of a poetic story, it somewhat ended up as telling the story and you can clearly see where one part stops and the other begins rather than one smooth-flowing piece. This is difficult to do, as transitions are the enemy of most writers, but not impossible.
Plot Uniqueness: Shining shields, I did not see that coming! This is a tale with some dirt in its blood.
Overall Enjoyment: This is a book to share.

Restart My Heart
rageynerd

Judge: Spider-Hawk
Grammar: Most of the grammar was good except that it was in informal tense, such as having conjunctions and slang phrases. While such informalities is acceptable for dialogue, narrative parts should be void of it.
Character Development: These people were all so cute and awesome! That first story killed me so completely because the characters fit well with the plot without changing it.
Writing Style: The narrative was bright and easy to click with. However, the second story felt rushed and bland. It lost the spark that the other two have.
Plot Uniqueness: While the author used writing prompts, they made them their own with twists and turns. The first story's twists were stellar.
Overall Enjoyment: These stories had me laughing and crying from happiness. I think that the second one should be rewritten, for while it was constrained by a word limit, it can still be as colorful as the other two if it is given time and effort.

Judge: dark_queen18
like your story, it's well written and easy to understand. And honestly, I like the character of Bettie and Sabrina it feels like that I want to hang out with them. Keep writing and goodluck.

Taming Dominic
Narrative_love

Judge: dark_queen18
Your story is okay but, I've notice some errors like you forgot to use punctuation marks. Then I've notice some long sentence that I'm almost breathless while reading it. Reminder, if your sentence is too long to read don't forget to use a comma. And the plot of your story is good although it is a little bit cliche but, even if it's cliche I like how you make your story interesting. Then Instead of using emoticon why don't you try to narrate the feelings of the characters. By the way, goodluck.

Judge: Spider-Hawk
Grammar: There was an abundance incorrect mechanics, slang terms, and unnecessary shifts in tense.
Character Development: I find that the characters are shallow and unrealistic, as well as rather stupid many a times. Nina is too awake for someone who sleeps twelve hours a day.
Writing Style: The narrative irritated me but did not impair my abiltiy to follow the story. It was a bit jumpy on the topic and lacked good descriptive and imaginative phrases and paragraphs. Too much time is spent on describing outfits, and they are mostly described by stating what the person is wearing alone. There was too much unnecessary swearing. The transitions were nonexistent.

Thalassa
speakingofLynn

Judge: Spider-Hawk
Grammar: There were quite a few conjunctions in places other than speech as well as unnecessary shifts in tense.
Character Development: The characters were strange for people who were about to jump.
Writing Style: There was quite bit of telling rather than showing.
Plot Uniqueness: It was cut short, what happened? Did they jump? Did she tell her story? What was her story? I don't even know.
Overall Enjoyment: It was too short and rushed, as well as cliche.

The Bridge
ydobonami

Judge: dark_queen18
Honestly I like your story but, there's some errors like the spacing in your story and you forgot to use punctuation marks. Then I've notice some long sentence that I'm almost breathless while reading it. Reminder, if your sentence is too long to read don't forget to use a comma. And the plot of your story I tottally love it. By the way, goodluck.

Judge: Spider-Hawk
Grammar: More errors than correct sentences. Errors in words, punctuation, mechanics, and other places. The biggest problem was unnecessary shifts in tense and lack of transitions.
Character Development: I find Edgar to be irrational and unrealistic, as well him being poorly presented.
Writing Style: It contained little descriptive and inspiration sentances. There were many page-long blobs of text that were unappealing to read. It could use more literary devices to create a smoother flow of thought. It was abundently difficult to understand what was happening because the thoughts neither flowed smoothly nor used transitions.
Plot Uniqueness: I honestly do not know very much about what happened, other than the major plot points. The story ping-ponged all over the place so much so that it was hard to tell where the retelling stopped and the action began.
Overall Enjoyment: It was not but some six pages in that this work indulged me to hurl my phone at the ground in frustration because I was tired of cringing at it. The story did interest me some, but the way that it was portrayed so brash that I was unable to follow or enjoy it.

You Ruined Me
LadyMariaClara

Judge: dark_queen18
Feedback: I like your story, the uniqueness of your plot is so amazing. The way you write your story is easy to understand, for me. But, I've notice some errors and you forgot to use some punctuation marks. And I'm little bit confused in chapter 6, you says in chapter 5 that Yumi and Gianne having a flight in Japan. But, in chapter 6 you says that they already arrived in America. But all in all I love the sudden twist of your story. By the way, goodluck.