Ascension of the Phoenix (Book One) - xDRAG0N0VAx

Judge: 18Dragon
I just love the fact you add chapter titles. I don't know why but that alone makes me like a book more. You character are well developed and I can imagine as real people. The plot isn't something I have ever read before. Your attention to details is wonderful; I can picture playing out in front of me which is very important for writing. Keep up the amazing writing!

Judge: Kiahni_C
Gripping beginning and interesting descriptions to set the scene, capturing the situation well. The two main characters have good chemistry though I found that their dialogue was often clunky and forced.
It often felt like the character's past was being shoved at the reader, not allowing any suspense or tension to build around the characters and not allowing the humour of some things to truly sink in. A reader will pick up on the small things a writer leaves behind and not everything needs to be explained right in the moment.
Too much dialogue in the beginning of the story makes this a slow read when they should be using the first chapters to hook their reader with tension, humour, and enticing characters they wish to read more about. They need to work on making their dialogue more interesting to read without relying so heavily on humour that can become tedious to read with its copious amounts.
They have good descriptions that are easy to visualise while still being pleasant to read. Pairing this with the potential of great characters and an intriguing plot to follow gives this the beginnings of a great narrative.

Judge: Evillan
I gave a low score because of the writing style. There are too much conversation. Like what I've said with the other book It should be balance so that the reader will not be bored. The plot is unique as well but Its not that unique since Ive read such books already. The book is written well and needs more proving. Fighting!

Judge: mockingjay-wild
Grammar: Your grammar is really good and it has the quality of a published paperback book!
Character Building: Very good indeed and I loved all the characters in your story.
Writing Style: It's good but I don't see your touch in it. You can always know the authors by their writing style. I don't want to see a Stephen King style or JK Rowling style; I need to see your style!
Plot Uniqueness: It is unique to an extend, actually.
Overall Enjoyment: I liked it enough.
- I suggest you tune down the many details. I love books that are detailed but yours seemed to go on an extreme, so yes.
- It's a very nice book indeed which many people would love.

Fright School Book 1 - kacquah

Judge: 18Dragon
Amazing! I love how you add titles to the chapters. At first I thought this was going to be like Monster High but this has more depth and lot less singing. Descriptions are great but could use a bit more. There are grammar mistakes here and there it's just little things. I would watch the capitalization. Sometimes when your characters talk the first word isn't capitalized. Keep up the great writing!

Judge: Kiahni_C
The narrative begins with enthralling action and an interesting plot, but the prologue should be chapter one as it's far too long and should only be a recap of events if it's a prologue, not full chapters.
When they begin the actual narrative, they do well to set the scene, adding a sense of space and time into their story that draws the reader in.
Their sentence structure needs work. Reading their work aloud will help them with the flow of sentences. Their punctuation is also in need of work, dialogue choppy and confusing without the correct grammar. When switching speaker, have a new line.
Odd descriptions with far too much telling and not showing. Let the tension build, let the reader pick up on the hints given to them. Their writing seems rushed, not capturing the stakes of the scene. The mistakes didn't help with this as they were distracting and often affected the flow of a sentence and made it confusing.

Judge: Evillan
First thing that I noticed was the fact that there were two prologues. Prologues are known to be a short introduction or perhaps a cut scene from the book. It wasn't meant to be written like a chapter. That's pretty much the only thing that triggered me, (tbh I used to do that as well). The plot is excellent. Its so damn unique and spectacular. I dont usually read this type of books but this really caught my eyes. Although, some characters sound quite robotic, its like they dont own any sort of emotion. I know that some of them are supernatural but they bore the viewers a bit. Make us fall inlove with your characters, make us like them. Thats all I have to say. Keep doing you bro

Judge: mockingjay-wild
Grammar: A bit of mistakes here and there but it's smooth enough to read.
Character Building: Thought out a bit but not a lot.
Writing Style: It's a bit common place.
Plot Uniqueness: I've seen this plot many times so a few points off for that.
Overall Enjoyment: I read this book only as a judge and its fairly good.

Haven - kacykrypton

Judge: 18Dragon
There is so much untapped potential. The plot is unique and you details are wonderful as well. I enjoy all your characters and there personalities. There are hardly any grammar mistakes that I can find. Keep up the hard work!

Judge: Kiahni_C
They do a great job with instantly drawing the reader in by introducing their characters and plot at the right moments, leaving enough room for speculation and intrigue. Though they do tell the reader too much about their characters too early on, not allowing their actions to speak for them. Not everything needs to be told to the reader and information dumping will only make the narrative tedious to read.
They do well to build tension and mystery about their world, drawing the reader in and giving them a firm reason to continue reading. They have crafted an interesting world that seems deep with a fascinating history and story to follow within it.
There were few grammatical and dialogue structure mistakes, and though they didn't distract from the story, it is always wise to refer to published sources with a critical eye to understand grammar and punctuation further and what works for the writer and their narrative.
I appreciate the flaws of their characters as it makes them even more interesting to read. It gives the reader something to look forward to, the growth of these characters. Personally, I would love to read more.

Judge: Evillan
Well Im sorry for the low score its just that I was not really into the book.The characters are good but sometimes I can't relate I mean I really can't feel the emotions that are written. But atleast the book is good and I think it just need some improving and eventually it will become a good book.

Judge: mockingjay-wild
Grammar: Your grammar is simply perfect!
Character Building: Sophia's character is well built and although I can't relate to her much, it's well thought out. Markee is honestly my favourite character, really!
Writing Style: Your writing Style is one of my favourite writing styles actually.
Plot Uniquement: It was a bit cliche for me but you've done a very good job.
Overall Enjoyment: This book is honestly my favourite book as a judge so far. I will definitely continue reading it. 

Lady Mutiny | Rogue Assassin Book One - druidrose

Judge: 18Dragon
I was hooked by the first chapter! The plot is unlike anything I have ever read before. I just love Cassandra; she is so amazing! There is a couple of grammar thing here and there. And more details in a couple places, but overall I could picture what was going on. Keep up the wonderful work!

Judge: Kiahni_C
They begin their story well, establishing the tension of their story and their characters in a confident way. Though some descriptions were jarring, they still had a gripping first chapter. Reading the story aloud will help with the flow of their sentences. The grammatical errors became distracting, clear that the writing hasn't been read through thoroughly, but this is easily fixed.
They have an interesting story and characters that, with further revision, could be great. They need to seriously revise and plan more as they changed the times of things and struggled to fill in the hours of their book. Taking the time to fully plan and understand their world will help them build character's actions and what they can do within their world. Or simply add some more much needed suspense as the second chapter didn't seem to carry any weight with it.
I was intrigued by their story, interested in their characters, but leaving some more mystery, giving the main character a firmer grasp on her goals ahead would strengthen their book. They have the start of a great story that can be developed further.

Judge: Evillan
For the writing style I think It should be improve. It's because the author is more on narrating what is happening rather than the conversations. It should be balance but I enjoyed the book.

Judge: mockingjay-wild
Grammar: Your grammar is perfect so it was a smooth book to read.
Character Building: I could differentiate each character from the other Lilia is a rather strong character and I grew to love her.
Writing Style: Your writing style is very good, a bit basic but interesting nonetheless p.
Plot Uniquement: I liked your plot It was kind of cliche but you added twists here and there.
Overall Enjoyment: I liked your book; I'm just gonna leave it there.

Lights Of The Other World - Pritika1106

Judge: 18Dragon
You're off to a good start. The plot is there and it will stand out amongst the others. I also like the fact you have chapters titles. The grammar is something that I would suggest you work on. The second thing is your details. You need more, descriptions of your characters are important it helps the reader visualize what they are reading. Even if the character only appear in one chapter give you reader a description of what they look like. Details are hard to do, and it's not always easy. Start small and work your way up; it will become easier. Keep on writing!

Judge: Kiahni_C
They have an interesting idea of the story formatting of their narrative but need to develop further on its execution to make it appealing to the reader, otherwise it can come across as childish and cliché. They need to think of a better way to give information to the reader as how it's currently written can be boring and tiresome to read.
Their blurb seemed too long, giving away far too much of the plot. They need to work on creating mystery and tension in such a short amount of words, but the blurb is definitely an important part of hooking a reader.
They should take time with their writing, there's no rush when introducing a story as all the facts don't have to be given to the reader, just enough to keep the reader interested. Giving the reader an idea of the ambience of the setting and characters with small clues of plots and backstory is what a writer should be aiming for in the first couple of chapters of their book.
They have an easy story to follow but they should also be extremely aware of cliché characters as it's an easy trap to fall into when writing a 'first day of school' scenario. It's a battle that all writers must face but they definitely have a story that they can work with and sculp into something fascinating.

Judge: Evillan
I have to be honest. The entire plot was so bland. It is over-used, the new girl always gets to be the star. It's too plain and boring. I recommend the author to spice it all up and think outside of the box. The grammar? It was switching between present tense and past tense. Since it is the main character telling us the story, it should be in past tense. I hope the author would search up some tips and use them, it could help them improve entirely. I know a bunch but yeah, tight schedule. I hope they improve soon. I get where the plot is going but its just so overused.

Judge: mockingjay-wild
Grammar: Noticeable mistakes here and there.
Character Building: I haven't found out the character much, so pay attention to that.
Writing Style: Basic but appealing.
Plot Uniqueness: Very cliche and has been used in a lot of fantasy books. I would have really loved to see a few twists here and there at the least.
Overall Enjoyment: A bit brushing up for character Building, grammar and plot and I would have loved it.

Love at First Sight - ScarletFairy-

Judge: Kiahni_C
The beginning failed to capture my attention as there seemed to be no plot and nothing to drag a reader in beyond far too much description with little context of what was happening. It felt like the story began in the wrong place. They should perhaps consider their plot and characters more, having less focus on the cliché side of the story. I understand the emphasise on love at first sight, but a reader also wants to feel chemistry and tension between characters that goes beyond physical attraction.
They need to develop their characters more, their backstories and what makes them who they are. Adding more interaction with other characters and describing more about how they react towards the world around them will help with this.
They have good descriptions that are easy to visualise, but they must remember not to information dump, otherwise their readers will end up skimming through their story and miss perhaps important details. Reading over their grammatical errors and paragraph structures will also make their narrative more pleasing to read.
Their story is appealing in some aspects, they just need to work on certain points to really boost the narrative closer to its potential.

Judge: Evillan
The author needs to check her grammar in some parts to make it flow better. Some chapters have many scene transititions that can make the reader be confused about the scenes but the story is good but needs more improvement.

Judge: mockingjay-wild
Grammar: Needs a bit brushing up.
Character Building: Very much thought out, congrats!
Writing Style: Mm, a bit basic and doesn't have your touch in it as a form of trademark.
Plot Uniqueness: I don't watch manga/anime but it's a bit predictable.
Overall Enjoyment: It is nice enough.
- I wish I could have seen more action- not that kind of action haha.

Judge: 18Dragon
I love Fairy Tail and this Fanfiction is amazing. The chapters titles are wonderful and your plot is amazing. The story matches the characters personalities and they aren't too OC. Your plot sucks a person in and I kept reading until I was out of chapters. There could be more details. Keep up the amazing writing!

Lehezan Chronicles - DarkRain1002

Judge: Kiahni_C
The narrative begins with an interesting setup for the plot, though it starts weakly with some bad grammar and a crude view on domestic violence that doesn't seem to capture the severity and tragedy of such a topic.
Adding more descriptive language and atmosphere, looking out for grammatical errors, and researching the subjects and themes more thoroughly will help develop this book further. Too much information given to the reader really broke up the pacing of the story and made it slow to read. They have strong beginnings to their characters with intriguing qualities that could be built upon.
They should be wary of clichés with this type of story and should also be aware that characters are the driving force of narratives like these. Building strong and memorable characters will let the reader ignore some plot holes and inaccuracies. With work, this story could be very good.

Judge: Evillan
It's my first time to read a story like this and I did like it. I just think the author needs more improvement in the writing style.

Judge: mockingjay-wild
Grammar: It was perfect for me. Kudos to that.
Character Building: Nate. I felt sorry for him.
Writing Style: Mm, basic.
Plot Uniqueness: I've seen this plot so many times, it's kinda overrated.
Overall Enjoyment: It is a good read.

Judge: 18Dragon
You plot is really unique. I have read a story quite like this one before. Your descriptions are good but there could be more. Also your characters are off to a good start but trying giving them more depth. Make the readers be able to connect with them. Keep up the good work!

Never Go Home - katkeenan

Judge: mockingjay-wild
Grammar: Your grammar is absolutely perfect and I loved it.
Character Building: I love Talia so much and you have made her appear as a real life person. She's someone I can relate to well.
Writing Style: Absolutely enthralling with the quality of a published book.
Plot Uniqueness: This type of plot is gradually getting popular but you've managed to pull it off.
Overall Enjoyment: I simply cannot tell you how much I loved it. It is one of the best books I've judged so far.
- I really think you should consider getting this book published. What makes me mad about Wattpad is that the books that deserve much recognition don't get. Your book is one of them, I can assure you that. Continue writing, please :)

Judge: Kiahni_C
The beginning of this book is so captivating with its visuals and introductions of characters. Though in some places it read more like a listing of events and information, making the pacing slow to begin with, it does pick up. They have a great attention to detail, weaving descriptions in with the plot well.
The characters seemed genuine given their situations though I found myself wishing for more backstory and more interactions between them, giving the reader more to resonate with. There is a little too much telling and not showing. The characters act shocked in response to something, it doesn't need to be explained what they're shocked about and why. A reader will pick up on such things.
Clear research and care have been put into this narrative and the attention for such things is noticeable. They're informing without breaking up the pacing of the plot. The lead character is intelligent without the writer telling the reader that, instead it's expressed through her actions and intellectual thinking. It's a joy to read a female lead that is strong and compassionate without it being thrown in the reader's face.

Judge: Evillan
I gave this book a perfect score because this book deserve it. I liked the flow of the story and the girl protagonist bravery. It's my first time to read such book. Good Job!

Judge: 18Dragon
I love this story all around. The plot is something fresh and new! Talia is such a great character. I like how you have chapter titles. Your details make me feel like I'm actually in the book itself. Keep up the amazing writing!

Of Lands And Heavens - HumptyHotPotpotz

Judge: mockingjay-wild
Grammar: It's very good indeed.
Character Building: Beautifully done and some of the characters felt like Marvel characters to me lmao. For some reason, the Lord Of Time felt like Loki.
Writing Style: Appealing? Yes!
Plot Uniqueness: Good indeed but I could see some plot holes here and there.
Overall Enjoyment: It's a beautiful book and I liked it enough. You should just focus on the plot a bit more.

Judge: Kiahni_C
They create a dark and ominous feel to the beginning of their story. A lot of information is thrown at the reader, which can be daunting when beginning a new book, but they craft something interesting and intellectual, beginning their story with something to make the reader think. Some sentences were structured strangely with missing or incorrect words, making it often confusing to read.
They introduce an interesting and charming cast of characters, each quite different from each other. They do well to create a lot of mystery, though some things could do with more information. The structure and sentencing did become frustrating to read.
I found myself interested in where the plot and characters were going, but the writing was lacking. With more time and consideration on their sentencing and building atmosphere, this narrative could be great.

Judge: Evillan
I like this book because of the plot. It's unique and It caught my attention but somehow,there are things that are needed to improve. Nice Job!

Judge: 18Dragon
Your plot is something else. I have never read a story quite like this one before; it had me smiling on the first chapter. Goran is such a well developed character. You details are good but you can always add more. Keep up the great writing!

Sea Bound - MairaDawn

Judge: mockingjay-wild
Grammar: I'm so glad that the grammar is perfect. Not that I expected an less, but going through books with grammar mistakes makes me go whew!
Character Building: I loved the characters of Sonora and Ian.
Writing Style: I've noticed this in many books, and I'm going to say it- the writing style is good but I need to see your touch in it.  The way JK Rowling writes books is not the way that Stephen King or Khaled Hosseini writes books.
Plot Uniqueness: One of the few rare books that doesn't have fantasy or science fiction right at the beginning.
Overall Enjoyment: I liked it a lot.

Judge: Kiahni_C
They begin their story well with imagery and a deep sense of mystery and intrigue. They don't reveal too much, letting the reader connect the dots and they do well to leave hints. They have a good attention to detail that really draws the reader into the story and the character's actions.
The main character often felt uninteresting, her only hobby, her only like seeming to be the ocean and nothing else. I understand the need to emphasise this, but it became a drag to constantly read about someone's only interest being the ocean and being unable to stop gushing about it. Simply writing the character exploring the ocean and her emotions towards it is enough to let the reader understand the character's relationship with the sea and her passion for it. In general, the characters often felt flat, their reactions to the things around them usually dull.
They need to work on creating more atmosphere when things get darker and more foreboding. They do well to craft happiness and light, but when building tension and fear they begin to lack with their writing. With more work, this story could really develop into something great.

Judge: Evillan
he story is great but I thinks there are too much narration and I've read one chapter where there is no conversation and purely storytelling—narration.

Judge: 18Dragon
I just love this book. You had me hooked by the description. Ian and Sonara are just such amazing characters; I was attached to them pretty quick. Each of your chapters had me craving the next one, and your details are amazing! Keep up the wonderful writing!

Stormbringer: History of Brothers - RainingStorms

Judge: Evillan
I think the story is addicting and its very good but somehow I didnt feel the story because I think one of the factors is the the language barrier. The plot of the story I think have a message that not all confident people are the one who became succesful and the shy and polite are not.

Judge: Kiahni_C
With great grammar and very coherent writing, the plot and setting were easy to follow. They establish sound characters and their traits clearly, though the prologue doesn't feel necessary as it's mainly repeated in the first chapter.
Though the time jumps often felt awkward and the characters didn't seem to have interacted within those time jumps, they still craft interesting characters and relationships. Though I struggle to pinpoint their motivations for their actions, with incentives seeming very weak.
I would suggest they put more consideration into their wording and phrases, as I found it confusing of what era was being portrayed. There should be a solid reasoning behind adding aspects of modern society into a historical era that ties in well to the story and influences the characters. They should also possibly be wary of cliché with the story and themes being expressed, as it is a story that seems to have been done many times.
Overusing italics can become tedious to read, taking away from the flair of using them and instead making them useless.
Otherwise, they have a strong voice in their writing style and a keen eye for punctuation and grammar.

Judge: speakingofLynn 

Judge: 18Dragon
Super great start to a wonderful book. I have never read a book like this. The plot had me hooked. It could use more details. I just love Storm so much don't tell Xenor. I was able to connect and understand your character. Other than that keep up the great writing!

The Crossing Destinies [The Sonic the Hedgehog FF] - Witto150

Judges: Kiahni_C
Their story begins well with expressive and vivid writing, though this was also confusing, and I struggled to follow, it was strong writing with a firm voice and grasp on punctuation and grammar. Unfortunately, the writing drastically dropped in its flair and the descriptive writing became almost lazy, causing a lack of setting visualization and jarring actions.
They did have a solid idea of their characters with their own voices and endearing attitudes. The only fault would be the villainous character. With cliché villain dialogue and seemingly no real motivation behind their actions, the villain is a weak antagonist that could be built upon with more fulfilling incentives.
They need to focus on consistency in their writing, realising when to show more than tell and when to simply tell. They also need to consider slowing down, setting the scene more before throwing the reader into the action without a clear idea of what they're visualising.

Judge: speakingofLynn

Judge: Evillan
Its my first time to encounter a book wherein thr characters are hedgehog or an animal but Its unique. The author's Imagination is very good. Well the book is very good and unique.

Judge: 18Dragon
It is a good thing I didn't need fandom knowledge or I wouldn't have understood what was going on. I now Sonic but not well enough. I enjoyed the fact you had chapter titles. And your details were just amazing. They made me feel as if I was actually there watching everything unfold. The plot was really cool as well. Keep up the amazing writing!

The Demon Sword: Sorataki - DS-Nate

Judge: Kiahni_C
They begin their story powerfully, capturing the reader's attention quickly. Unfortunately, that captivation quickly gets lost with the inner dialogue of the character taking away from the action. They should be wary of adding too much information during the beginnings of a story as the reader can become bored. Rambling descriptions that often made no sense and frequent grammatical and structure mistakes didn't aid in keeping me intrigued.
They have an interesting story and setting with true potential, but I struggled to grasp this when information was given that didn't feel needed and little context was offered about things present in the narrative.
They need to work on their dialogue, on their punctuation, as it distracts from the story when it has glaring mistakes.
They should consider putting more emphasis on character building, a reader is drawn in more by characters than they are plot and if a narrative has weak characters, the plot won't feel as though it's progressing either. Also, be conscious of doing things simply because they sound and look 'cool'. Thorough research and plausible situations are much more engaging to read than things that don't make sense with no true reasoning.

Judge: 18Dragon
I love your writing so much! This book is wonderful. I couldn't find any grammar mistakes. I love the chapter titles and your descriptions make me feel like I'm actually in the book. I quickly got attached to Natalie and Andrew. Keep up the amazing writing!

Judge: Evillan
Im not into the book because of the Point of View, I thinks its because Im not used to it. Its good to portray the different point of view of the characters but Its still good. Nice Book!

The Elementals : The Dawn of Darkness - Theelementalarchive

Judge: Kiahni_C
Interesting and gripping beginning. They set the scene well with easy to read sentences, though grammar mistakes were noticeable. They introduce the main characters fluently and give them enough background and personality to make them engaging. With instantly endearing characters that put a smile on my face, I couldn't help but be drawn into the story within the very first chapter.
I'd suggest they take more time with their writing, with descriptive language, as I found myself sometimes getting lost by some of the character's actions and the suddenness of certain scenes. They should focus more on showing, not telling, taking their time to express emotions and reactions, allowing the reader to develop a clearer picture of the narrative.
Be aware of antagonists, they can often be extremely cliché and boring to read if done in the generic way. Make them people too, villains have their own stories and reasoning behind their actions, they're not walking one-liners.
They need to understand their own rules more, work out their system of magic, where it comes from within the person, what it feels like to wield it, the consequences of using their magic, and so on. Understanding the world of the story will make it far easier to write believable characters within it.

Judge: Evillan
I think problem in this story is every chapter is very long and It makes the reader bored easily. They may just skip it and will not understand story. Its better if you will make it shorter. But still the book is great and I salute the author because she can write those long pages.

Judge: 18Dragon
This book had me hooked at the description. Your details made me feel like I was in the book itself. Your characters had me feeling like they were real life people. I couldn't stop reading and i just love that you have chapter titles. Keep up the wonderful writing!

The Four Elements; Book One, The Whispering Seas - The_Reader4000_

Judge: Kiahni_C
Prologues are not part of the main narrative and many readers skip them. If it's boring, fails to engage the reader, explains events that could easily be explained in the first chapter, then there shouldn't be a prologue.
With too much telling and not enough showing, I found myself uninterested with the characters and their relationships. It didn't help that starting so many names with the same letter often became confusing to read and difficult to differentiate between the characters. A lot of the character's interactions felt forced and unnatural too, voiding the reader of a connection to the characters.
They need to work on their paragraphing and sentence structures to help with the flow of the story. The narrative began too slow, giving the reader needless information that didn't help set the scene. Adding more descriptive language, a better sense of space, and taking out needless information will help the pacing of their narrative. Also, they need to understand who's telling the story, what point of view is it, it will help build the tension if they can go into detail about their narrator's emotions and reactions.
They have the foundations of a potentially great story, I found myself intrigued by where the tale was going. They just need to keep their reader interested by growing as a writer.

Judge: 18Dragon
The book is off a good start. But your characters need more depth. Make them seem like real people. Your plot is good but it could use more storylines in you main book. Keep in mind this kids are in elementary school so write them like they are that age. Keep on writing!

The Golden Princess and the Demon Prince - MorganMorrow333

Judge: Kiahni_C
The narrative has a strong and engaging start, leaving the reader with enough questions and curiosities to continue through the story.
Their grammar is without mistakes and the only rare fault I could find was in their paragraphing. They sometimes need to break up their paragraphs when switching topics. This will make the story read more fluently.
They craft a formidable but vulnerable female lead with clear motivations and worthy characteristics. Though the chemistry between the two leads often felt forced and misplaced, they still do well in allowing the reader to understand the dynamics and rivalry between them.
They need to work on pacing their narrative. This will help with engaging the reader, but also with the tension in scenes and between the characters. Spacing out the fight scenes, not rushing them, sprinkling character and relationship development and time jumps between them will help with building suspense.
Tension can be achieved by showing and not telling, describing a feeling or action instead of simply saying 'she was angry' or 'there was an explosion'. Setting the scene in the right way will help with the mood and feel of the story and the character's situation.
They have a believable story of revenge with an intriguing world, they simply need to build upon their writing style and making the characters feel more fitted into their world.
I look forward to continuing to read this work and seeing what they accomplish as they learn.

Judge: Evillan
Okay. Again. The whole listing the characters' likings, dislikes, and characteristics. I've seen the comment sections and like me, everyone else struggled to grasp what the writer had just thrown at them. Its a huge turn off for most people, the writer could easily slip in details as they write the story, atleast then the readers wouldn't have to skip the listing parts. Overall, I love the plot! It's unique enough to possibly win the awards. There were rarely any grammatical errors and there were enough details to describe everything.

Judge: 18Dragon
I just love you book all around. The plot is something I have never read before and you details are wonderful. I personally liked the fact that you add a cast, chapter titles, and a glossary. I liked the fact the that different sexualities and genders. You are pushing normal out of the box and I like seeing that in a book. Keep up the fabulous writing!

The Monsters Within - HaileyKnights

Judge: Kiahni_C
This narrative has an engaging and unique idea, and, with time and planning, could really develop into something great. Unfortunately, their writing needs a lot of work, but with practice and editing, it has true potential.
Their grammar, spelling, and structure are flawed. There are commas in the wrong places and none where they are needed. The paragraphing and sentence structures need work because they were often jumpy with words absent. Reading successful authors with an analytical eye will help them find their own voice and rhythm. With descriptive language a character's mood and situation will change how many details a character notices. Work on understanding when to describe and when not to, otherwise descriptions will seem odd and out of place.
Showing, not telling is another thing they need to develop as they often dumped information that could have been explained in a subtler way. They should utilise their characters and their situations to explain the world, a reader will pick up on what is being said without having to be told directly.

Judge: mockingjay-wild
       Grammar: There are noticeable grammar mistakes in the book. For instance, it's supposed to be YOU'RE instead of YOUR'E. And then, you wrote UNSECURE instead of INSECURE. A lot of typos and errors. I suggest you use this free app called Grammarly for it edits everything out for you.
       Character Building: All the characters in your book appear the same. What is it that separates each character? Likes, dislikes everything. Also, I've noticed that the characters seem to be smirking a lot.
       Writing Style: Your writing  style seems to be clipped and not in a good way. Everything just went by in a blink of an eye. Take your time by adding more details. I love how there are different perspectives per chapter, though so kudos to that. However, I noticed that you jumped tenses. Stick to one tense because it seems messy. I noticed it in Chapter 3. Another suggestion is that you should cut down the ellipsis; you're overusing it.
       Plot Uniqueness: I actually loved the plot. It was hooking and it captured my interest. I haven't read any book that has this plot so you just earned a 5 at it!
       Overall Enjoyment: It's s good. Pay attention to your grammar and this should be a really good book.

Judge: Evillan
I feel really bad for the results I have given, I'll explain why they were so low. The words used were too repetitive, the writer could easily search up for a synonym instead of using the same word a hundred times in a chapter. It lacked details but at the same time, had many. What I'm trying to say is that, the author put in too many details that the readers doesn't even need to know or would even remember in the future. It lacked details on how the characters feels or what they do. I could see where the book is going but it really does need alot of help. Not to mention, there were a few grammatical mistakes here and there. I personally like the idea the author is going for but I really do hope they edit the book properly or ask people for advice.

Judge: 18Dragon
I enjoy this book very much. I was upset when I got to the end and couldn't read more. I like the fact you added a character list so your readers knew who they were reading about and I f they had a question they could refer back to it. I just love your main characters and I was quickly attached. Now they could be more details about the surroundings and what the characters look like. Keep up the wonderful writing!

The Seven Knights - WittyInsane

Judge: 18Dragon
Personal I have never read or listen to any of the Bangtan Boys so I got confused. But you did such a good job at explaining them I felt like I did know them. You descriptions and details are amazing; I could picture each of chapters and it felt like I was actually there. And I like the way you added vocabulary so if didn't know what something meant they could find out! Keep up the amazing writing!

Judge: Kiahni_C
There's great description in the beginning of the narrative, starting it out strong with a wonderful uniqueness to it. But then introducing the characters slowed down the pacing of the story dramatically. Dialogue felt unnatural and forced when introducing the character's powers, feeling more like reading a menu than a book. With too much information with little context, it read very slowly.
They take too long to build any sort of tension to hook the reader, though they do have a strong ending to their first chapter. Descriptions seemed odd, saying someone looked like a 'typical damsel in distress', a clear example of telling, not showing. The sense of setting and tension will flow better with more sensible descriptions.
Some sentences were awkward and didn't flow well. They should consider reading their work aloud, testing the flow of it when they speak it.

Judge: speakingofLynn
Grammar: Needs a bit brushing up.
Character Building: More layouts!
Writing Style: Very good indeed.
Plot Uniqueness: I loved it since you showed up with a crossroad sign in the middle of the book.
Overall Enjoyment: Honestly, I'm only reading it as a judge but I expect it to be a book that can grip the sort of readers who love your kind of books.

The Third Alignment - MichaelHoliday

Judge: Evillan
I'm inlove with this story. It was well written and the plot is like no other. I'm not kidding, its by far the best on that I am judging right now. They put enough details for everyone to imagine the scenes. I recommend everyone to read it because I sure well will be continuing to read their book.

Judge: Kiahni_C
Tomb Raider and The Mummy came to mind reading this, though the writer had their own interesting story to tell with these similar aspects.
They use synonyms and metaphors brilliantly, painting a picture with their words and immediately hooking the reader with their visualization. A wonderful first chapter that had stunning descriptions with a well-researched setting. The writer has an obvious passion for the world and plot they're writing with a great understanding of the elements they've integrated into their piece.
Their action scenes have the right amount of gore to make it jarring, but not excessive, though I often struggled to grasp how the characters were feeling in those moments. I would also be wary of doing things for the 'cool', as it can take the reader out of the emotion and the action. The fight scenes were often too long, becoming tedious to read and an effort to stay focused on.
The character's emotions and the progression of the story often seemed to conflict, as though they simply forgot their grief when the writer needed the story to continue forward. Otherwise, their characters are unique individuals that are written fluently into the world.
A great book that will go far in the future.

Judge: mockingjay-wild  
Grammar: Your grammar is very good indeed and it's nice to know that you paid so much attention to that.
Character Building: Your characters are built fairly enough but I would have liked to see more characteristics for the main character.
Writing Style: Very good indeed.
Plot Uniqueness: For some very weird reason it reminds me of Indiana Jones and X Men: Apocalypse lol.
Overall Enjoyment: It's a very good book and I liked it.

Judge: 18Dragon
Overall this book is wonderful. The characters feel real and the details make me feel as if I'm part of the story myself. Cara and John seem to me like real people; I was quickly attached to them and I could stop myself from reading more and more. Keep up the wonderful writing!

The Way It Is - JessieGoodwin

Judge: mockingjay-wild
Grammar: Good enough but not perfect.
Character Building: Well thought out and a congrats to that.
Writing Style: It has your own touch in it which is what writers aspire for. Yours is a light mannered and appealing way and I liked it.
Plot Uniqueness: For some weird reasons it reminded me of Planet of the Apes, haha.
Overall Enjoyment: I liked it.
- You should omit the 'really' since it's there a lot as though a way to confirm it when the reader already knows.

Judge: Kiahni_C
They have the foundations of an interesting world, plot, and characters. There's a clear love for traditional Sci-fi, though they need to be wary of walking the line of writing things that have been done far too many times in this genre. There's clear thought and understanding behind the people of their world that adds to its intriguing qualities. They also use good descriptive language to make their writing pleasant to read.
The plot itself was difficult to grasp, plot points that didn't feel needed or weren't expressed properly making the story confusing and unappealing. The narrative felt like it began at the wrong moment, as though it was missing pivotal character and relationship building that would have added a rich layer to the moments being written.
When creating a character, it's always best to let the reader see their characteristics through their actions instead of telling the reader who they are. Their main character felt very immature and childish but was heralded as a leader and a strong individual. The characteristics that were told to the reader were in contradiction to the character's actions. her swearing and drinking, her volatile mood, and lack of care for the people she ordered didn't fit well with the leader and strong-willed person the writer described her to be.
I struggled to understand why the overused trope of 'alphas' and such were integrated into this story. It felt unnecessary and could easily be replaced with something more appealing and fitting to their world.
I would recommend aiming their focus more towards showing and not telling as it was a large barrier in their work, making me struggle to keep interest in the plot and characters. But with work and love, this has true potential.

Judge: Evillan
From the beginning chapters, the author did more of the telling instead of showing what was happening. As the saying say, "Showing not too much Telling", its important to balance the two or have the showing as the heavier part of a scale. Some readers may be bored as they continue to read what person thinks. Plus, some thoughts were too repetitive. Overall, the writer has a potential into becoming a great author one day. Good grammar. Great writing style.

Judge: 18Dragon
The plot for your book was definitely unique. I can't say I have ever read a book like this one before. I enjoyed the use of your chapter titles. Try to use more details to depict surrounding. And try adding a glossary when alien names or things come up so the reader can refer to it and understand who or what something is. Keep up the great writing!