A Tale of Platinum Spells - The_CynthiaNnadi

JUDGE: wi_se_gi_rl
The prologue is a bit confusing. Your Grammer is great and I can tell you look over your work before publishing. I love how you introduce me to the characters lives and draw me in instead of jumping straight into the action. The prologue does help in this aspect to keep the story from starting off boring.

JUDGE: jigamaree
I enjoyed the plot of this book, and I thought it was fairly well thought-out. I thought it was a bit strange that the characters never just said anything; they always giggled it or said it angrily or something like that. If you think about it, that doesn't even make much sense—try giggling a sentence. It's very unrealistic. In addition, I think the dialogue could use some work, especially between the twins. I understand that they're supposed to be bickering siblings, but they are bickering 24/7, as far as I can tell. I like the idea, and I like how the plot is developing.

Abysmal: The Last Air Privon - OyinkanIlori

JUDGE: wi_se_gi_rl
JUDGE: JohanValentine
JUDGE: rageynerd
JUDGE: jigamaree

Anomalous: The Seven Deadly Sins - MadKea

JUDGE: wi_se_gi_rl
You grammer is really good. You do a great job of giving your characters depth. Your writing style is a bit confusing but the idea of the story us something I have never seen before.

JUDGE: jigamaree
There are some cool concepts here, and for the most part, the grammar is accurate. The characters are interesting, and I like that they have different personalities; they aren't just the same personality over and over with different names. The main problem that I had while reading it was that things just didn't make sense. Somebody doesn't have an English accent because she only knows six people (most of whom are English), for example—I'm having trouble following the logic there. There are also a lot of characters, and I found it hard to keep track of who was who while I read. But I really liked the idea, and most of the plot was solid.

Crowning Soul Book 1 - SahiraJ

JUDGE: wi_se_gi_rl
JUDGE: JohanValentine
JUDGE: rageynerd
JUDGE: jigamaree

Delirium - Jessex001

JUDGE: wi_se_gi_rl
You have good Grammer. Your story is pretty predictable and the you just tell us everything about your characters. You don't leave too much to mystery. You need more suspense in you story.

Deep Cosmos - ProjectKyle

JUDGE: rageynerd
There are many grammatical mistakes--watch your spelling and use of commas and exclamation marks, as sometimes it can get hard to read. The story plot, however, was not hard to get through at all! The plot is incredibly unique. I've never read anything like it and I really enjoyed it. Nerd gives off a very strong impression as well, which I liked.

JUDGE: jigamaree
I really liked the ideas and thought behind this story. It was engaging and easy to follow, and the characters had distinct personalities and motives. One thing that I felt could be edited a bit was the beginning, which had essentially no exposition. I liked the first scene, but it didn't do a great job of easing the reader into the story. There were a few grammar issues, mostly with commas, but nothing major. All in all, I thought this was a well-written and exciting story.

In Between Dreams Book 1: Remnant - Jason_Tenjiro

JUDGE: rageynerd
The good news is I really enjoyed the storyline; I've never read a fanfiction like that before. Very cool idea. It could've been executed better, though. I know it's a fanfiction but you still need a description of the world you're in. It should be one of the first things you do. The characters are vague and come off similar. None of them really made an impression. The main character's thoughts and feelings are a mystery. There's a statement here or there, but it's mostly just dialogue. The writing is very choppy, which could be due to the amount of telling versus showing. Be sure to create a flow. Your grammar certainly isn't the worst I've seen, but it still would be nicer to read if you'd go back and watch your commas and dialogue formatting. I hope you go back to edit this story and don't get too discouraged, as it's a great idea that I'd love to see play out.

JUDGE: jigamaree
The story launched into the main plot with no exposition, and it took me a minute to realize that it was a fanfiction for a show I've never even heard of. Once I sorted that out and realized that anybody who actually watched this show would understand what was happening, I was able to get past that. The main character was developed, and the other characters were at least consistent, although I don't know what they're like in the show. The setting was cool, and there was enough information given that I was able to grasp what was happening. I think this would probably be a very good story if I knew anything about the world it took place in.

Loyally Rival - khushir_05

JUDGE: rageynerd
Few grammar errors, and none really noticeable. It flowed smoothly. I really liked how you wrote your characters; they were distinct with strong personalities. The plot wasn't COMPLETELY unique, as I have seen many dystopian stories surrounding divided societies, but it isn't completely typical either. I always enjoy reading these types of stories, and it was pretty good. Nice job

JUDGE: jigamaree
I liked the dystopian aspect of this story. It reminded me of Divergent quite a bit. I liked the main characters, but a lot of the minor characters had personalities that were either obnoxious, cliched, or both. Luckily, most of them didn't show up very often. The two sides of the society were interesting and fun to read about, and I loved the idea.

Lucid Reality - 1Hibana1

JUDGE: rageynerd
Make sure to watch for punctuation, commas, and sentence structure. Your paragraphs can be long and bulky, and every now and then it's fine, b remember to chop it up so it doesn't drone on. As for your writing style, it seemed fine other than the dialogue. Why is it in italics? It distracted me from what you were actually saying, because some were normal, and then I was wondering about flashbacks, and it was just confusing. Your characters got slightly better as time went on but mostly they didn't seem to have much depth or distinction from one another. Although the plot is a little scattered, I like the basic concept. If you work on editing the story to change some basics, it could turn into a really awesome story. It has a lot of potential, so keep at it!

JUDGE: jigamaree
As soon as I saw that this was about dreams, I was intrigued. The concept was clever, and the characters were unique. However, I found myself incredibly confused almost instantly. It was hard to tell what was a dream and what was reality, and there were quite a few run-on sentences. The idea of dreams influencing reality was good, and it was displayed well in the story. Overall, I liked the plot and ideas that went into this.

Of Caverns and Casters: Book One of The Outcast Six Saga - avadel

JUDGE: rageynerd
No grammar mistakes that I could catch--and that's saying something. Big thumbs up on that front. I LOVED the duo POVs! They're my weakness, if we're being honest (especially in first person). They can be tricky because authors often end up making them the same, but there is a nice difference between characters. I didn't get a huge impression from Livi, and I would've liked a more prominent voice to be struck with in the first chapter. I am quite familiar with the ragtag group of teens (I'm assuming) coming together to save themselves, but the world you created makes up for it, I think. Also, I'm a sucker for the misfit trope anyway--it makes for a nice dynamic. Love the title, as well.

JUDGE: jigamaree
This was a fantastic blend of interesting characters, creative settings, and well-written storytelling. It has the best grammar I've seen so far in this contest, too. There's a lot of figurative language—possibly too much—and none of the characters ever seem to just "say" anything, but that's the only criticism I have. This was a good read.

Scarewood: The Series - The Thing That Crawls - _boymoonlight881_

JUDGE: wi_se_gi_rl
I like the basis of the story but you tell me everything a little too blatantlt. You need more mystery about the marks. Maybe saying he starts noticing them instead of just stating that everyone has them. I also don't understand you paragraph breaks that are a lot of times in the middle of a sentence. It's a unique story that has great potential. You doing doing a pretty good job at executing it.

JUDGE: rageynerd
The grammar was the first thing I noticed. It needs a lot of work--I spend so much time trying to figure out what you're saying that it takes away from the flow. Your characters seem kind of flat, but that can be easily fixed--just add in some quirks earlier on! Readers need to connect with your stories, and lots of people do that through characters. Make them more human! I liked the narrator in the story (not sure if it was meant to be a narrator role, but you could make it one! Highly suggest. It'll make it much more interesting to read!) make sure to set up the story a little bit more as well. I know it's supposed to be part of a series but regardless which book it is, there should be an intro of some sorts weaved into it.

JUDGE: jigamaree
I can't say that I understood much of what happened in this story. The narration was spotty, and I didn't really get what the main character was dreaming and what was actually happening. The idea was very unique, and I really liked it. The chapters were a very good length as well. There were lots of plot twists, but they weren't explained very clearly, so I'm actually not sure how the story ended. I think that with some editing, this would be a cool story.

Scripted - HumptyHotPotpotz

JUDGE: wi_se_gi_rl
You have amazing grammer. I couldn't find any grammatical mistakes while reading your story. Having the point of view be from a blind slave is new and interesting. It gives me a different perspective. You also do a great job setting up the characters. Finally, you draw me in with the prologue and make me interesting to read.

JUDGE: rageynerd
Reads smoothly and an interesting concept; the POV of a blind slave is very unique. I am a little confused about the world you created, though, because you need more background information and details. In the beginning we should have the world gradually set up for us; we only really get a dark cave and slavery for many chapters, which makes me think more along the lines of historical than fantasy. Aside from that, Nard and Cairo are fascinating to read about and the cliffhangers are skillfully crafted. Nice job!

JUDGE: jigamaree
I liked the setting of this story a lot, as well as the characters. The main character was blind, which I haven't seen a lot in books. The concept was intriguing, but it was hard for me to get into it, since the grammar needs some work. Also, the setting was hard for me to understand. Is this taking place in another world? The future? Both? The prologue captured my interest—although prologues sometimes seem unnecessary to me, I liked that it was included here. The chapters weren't too long, and the plot is exciting.

Serenade - JJRothschild

JUDGE: wi_se_gi_rl
You have amazing grammer. You obviously put a lot of thought into this story. The main character being a species we don't know about is new. I love that idea! Your writing style is great about keeping me interested and moving at the perfect pace!

JUDGE: JohanValentine
Requires severe work in grammar and writing style. The book just jumps right off the bat, with the only explanation being the synopsis, leaving readers neither here nor there in understanding. Idea is decent enough on it's own but characters' behaviour is cliché and predictable. Character building is practically non-existent really, because all the characters and their behaviour is mentioned as though in a list in he first chapter itself, making it boring.

JUDGE: rageynerd
In the fantasy genre, the fact that the main character isn't a witch, vampire, or werewolf is so refreshing. The fact that we don't even know what this character is and that it isn't anything humans have ever heard of is even more so. To find his soulmate in an unborn baby was also a unique idea (I've only seen it once before in Twilight). The writing flows well, and Lark is a consistent character. There are a few grammar mistakes, but they're hardly noticeable.

JUDGE: jigamaree
This is the first real romance I've read in judging this competition, and thankfully, it wasn't one big cliche. Yes, the main character was a handsome prince, but from there, the plot was unique and interesting. I liked the main character, although it seemed like there could have been some more character development before the spontaneous feelings of loneliness. I think the prologue could have just been chapter 1, since I'm not sure what information it was giving the reader. The biggest problem I had with this story was that most of the important world-building information was given in the form of huge information dumps. I thought this was a unique and fairly well-thought-out story.

Spectre - Forever-Fabgurl

JUDGE: wi_se_gi_rl
You do a great job introducing me to spectre. I love the character depth. You really bring her to life. The only thing I didn't like is how quickly spectre is always able to get out of trouble. I think it would be more interesting if she was actually caught longer than it took her to wake up. All in all its still a great read.

JUDGE: JohanValentine
- I loved the writing style and how the plot slowly builds up! Grammar is enjoyable and near-amazing. Character building is kinda slow but cool at the same time. Loved the few chapters that I read and he author has successfully made me want to know more about the backstory of the protagonist. The protagonist's struggles are extremely real and so well written it's amazing! The tech part is written extremely well too!
- You might, however, want to add in a few twists and stuff to make things less predictable in some cases and character building definitely has to boost up. The story is concentrated more on the tech stuff itself instead of focusing on the character's backstory as well. Also, try to draw out the emotions of the protagonist so that it's possible for the reades to put themselves in the character's place.

JUDGE: rageynerd
Other than run-ons, SPECTRE is near grammatically perfect, which is a big thumbs up from me! I love Spectre (the character), she's an interesting character and I love how confident she is in her abilities. Her stream of consciousness is very captivating! Especially because she is a hacker who is constantly thinking in tech terms. My only comment other than to watch for the run-ons would be that a technological takeover world is a common trope in futuristic sci-fi stories, but since the main character is a hacker, it brings a new element. Nice job!

JUDGE: jigamaree
The main character of this story may have been my favorite part. Her backstory wasn't very clear, but that could be because the story isn't complete yet. I liked her "powers" and her personality, but I wasn't sure how or why she became friends with another girl so quickly. The grammar was mostly accurate, and the narration was good, but some of the settings could be described in more detail. This idea of the future is a cool one, and the characters and plot drew me in.

Spellbound - summersnowflake17

JUDGE: wi_se_gi_rl
You make it seem real. I can tell you put a lot of planning into this story. You have great Grammer and you keep the story moving. You keep me interested. Great read.

JUDGE: rageynerd
The idea for the storyline seems to be unique and I really like it, however some major changes need to be made. The plot is unclear and a little confusing as far as the world that's created; we're thrown into it with no context and with extremely little explanation about the circumstances and rules of the world. I do like the unique names and the twist on the magic, along with the addition of soulmates. There were a couple twists that caught my attention as well! Overall, the story is going in the right direction, but you need to go back and add some background information and edit for grammar mistakes.

JUDGE: jigamaree
This story reminded me of a book I recently read, Red Rising. I thought the concept was both different and interesting, and it reminded me of a NYT bestseller, so that has to be a good thing! There were some very unique names here, but it didn't distract from the story. The narration kept switching between characters, which was a bit confusing. I liked the plot twists. There were some information dumps, which seemed unnecessary and slightly unrealistic, especially since they were written as dialogue. The story was set in the future, which I thought was rather unusual for a fantasy story, but it worked well here. All in all, I thought that this was an intriguing and exciting story.

The Cat Who Know How to Cry - VoiceOfAlasais

JUDGE: rageynerd
This has literally been the strangest book I've ever read. Not that that's a bad thing, because it is very unique, but wow. For a lot of it I had no idea what was going on because I couldn't stay focused. The story can move very slowly, especially at the beginning. In my opinion, spread out descriptions a little more or split up some of your incredibly long paragraphs to give the eye a break and keep the readers looking--it also flows better. I could see the writing Style wasn't obvious but there was something about the way you structured sentences that gave it a mystic feel. The grammar was good, you only had a few mistakes here and there and they were hardly noticeable. I don't know if the characters have gave off that much of an impression to me, but I still liked them. Overall, this was a unique book but it was just hard to get into for me (took me 33 pages); that being said, once I got into it, it was awesome! And I absolutely loved the illustrations, especially the map. Nice job.

JUDGE: jigamaree
The first thing that struck me when I started reading this was its flamboyance. I had to laugh when, several sentences into the first paragraph, I read about "myriapods of refulgent vermillion". However, despite the language, which made it slightly more difficult to read, "The Cat Who Knew How To Cry" was an interesting read. The world is richly imagined and full of little details that make it that much more realistic. The characters have distinct personalities and mostly behave the way I would expect them to. Overall, it was an entertaining story.

The Girl From Biringan - agilasigma

JUDGE: rageynerd
This story was kind of confusing. First off, I'm not sure why but you completely give away the story in the beginning, as far as I can tell. Even if it's obvious what's going to happen, don't tell us, because there's always that rare chance. Also, it's the wait that makes an ending/plot peak worth it! Another thing is I'm not quite sure what your Plot is. I mean, you've got an interesting and unique idea, but the way you executed it makes it seem like you have too much going on at once. At first he's just a normal boy who meets an elf princess, and then suddenly he can see dead people; furthermore, we have no idea who the narrator is. If they switch POVs, you have to label them or it won't make sense. I fear your characters are slightly inconsistent: in the excerpt you give before the story, you describe tala as a super sweet, down to earth girl, but then in the actual story she speaks super proper, is demanding, and very snobby. I understand if that's a character development, and if so, good!! But you need to take the excerpt out of the beginning and give us a chance to grow with her. Speaking inside the mind is inconsistent; sometimes he can hear her, sometimes he can't, but if we're in Nates POV, and he can't hear or doesn't react, it shouldn't be in there. The good news is the grammar was very good and there were hardly any noticeable mistakes. Also, I enjoyed seeing something about nice fairies, because it's been a really long time since I've seen these creatures not portrayed as demons or something. I LOVED the lore chapter! It should be the very first part so we get a feel for the world (maybe w/out character desc. because it gives some things away that I would've liked to learn for myself--or you could've incorporated into the story). You've got a good thing going but remember to let the readers do the work sometimes, and take things in baby steps.

JUDGE: jigamaree
The idea behind "The Girl From Biringan" is a good one, and the story has a lot of potential. The characters are interesting and engaging, and the setting is very magical and exciting. However, the characters behave in fairly unrealistic ways. At the beginning, it is mentioned that one of them is eight years old, but he speaks just as well as everybody else. Another character has weird fits of bossiness, where she suddenly goes from acting normally to screaming and ordering people around. Overall, the plot drew me in, and if the characters were to behave more consistently, this could be a very good story.

The Influencer - Cristalina_Starr

JUDGE: rageynerd
the first thing I noticed was the grammar. There are noticeable mistakes and lots of fragments. Karen is sort of a classic wattpad girl, which is pretty much the only impression she gives. I'm not sure what her personality is, even though that she be something that comes out in the first chapter. Unfortunately, that shows in the writing style--it's a little basic. It needs more imagery, as it's mostly dialogue (don't worry, I struggle with that constantly, but if I can do it you can do it!). It also is missing tone and mood. I got the feeling from the bio it was more of an ominous topic ("who is the influencer") but it's missing that tone. In fact, it almost comes off as strictly a romance story. That being said, I love the idea behind The Influencer!! (You should mention him more, in my opinion. It's easy to forget about him a little). I loved the idea that someone was missing but they didn't know who, they just knew someone was supposed to be there. Now THAT says mood!!! And it makes us wonder how it ties with influencer. But then, after you do that bit, you take a break and follow Karen's normal life. The problem is they're too long and some of it is irrelevant to the storyline--for example, I'm not sure what the purpose for chapter two was. Make sure that you stick to your plot and that every chapter furthers it. It has the potential to be a page turner if you make some changes :)

JUDGE: jigamaree
"The Influencer" is based on a fascinating idea, and for the most part, it is well written. The characters are fairly believable, and they have distinct traits. The story isn't very long yet, so it's hard to say whether or not the plot is well-formed. From what has been written, though, it seems like it could be good. The main problems I had while reading it were that there were a lot of run-on sentences and incorrectly placed commas. Also, the descriptions seemed more like monologues—they told me what was there instead of showing me. These problems made it seem choppy, but all in all, the story is off to a good start.

The Shroud of Sharayar - TheImperialSarcasm

JUDGE: rageynerd
I actually really love the plot, and the idea/mystery surrounding the girl. However, I do think maybe you jumped in too quickly. There's next to no lead in or background. But that's very minor for me because you catch up quickly. Grammar mistakes were hardly noticeable, in fact it was just a few misplaced commas. I loved the contrast between Anubis and the girl, however the writing style should dwell more on Anubis's personality. That being said, it does create a good flow, especially for an action packed book such as yours.

JUDGE: jigamaree
I thoroughly enjoyed this story. The plot was interesting, the characters were realistic, and it was well-written. The writing flowed smoothly, and there were only minor grammar errors. The only thing that stood out to me in terms of improvement was that there were some minor inconsistencies—for example, from one chapter to another, one character's hair changed from black to brown. Overall, this was a very engaging and enjoyable read.

Trovenia: The Birth of Adventure - CTFires

JUDGE: rageynerd
You don't really have a bio, so I kinda went into this blindsided, but it was very unique. At least, I've never read anything like it before. Your main characters left a strong impression, which is very good! However, I will say that you desperately need to separate your dialogue and use descriptions/ actions in between. Make more paragraphs to give the eye a break. I liked this story, for some reason I just couldn't get into it, but it was written well for most.

JUDGE: jigamaree
I thought that this story was an interesting one. The action started almost instantly and kept going from there. The characters were unique and made reading the story enjoyable. Often, though, conversations were hard to understand, due to the fact that chapters were not broken up into paragraphs very well. The paragraphs were very long, and many of them contained dialogue from multiple different characters, which is both grammatically incorrect and makes the story harder to understand. All in all, this is a good fantasy story with plenty of adventure, although some of the writing itself could use work.