Adore - ms_adoorah

JUDGE: anonymous
- The only thing that distracted me from reading is that you tend to omit connecting words like "to" or words like "the". There are also punctuation errors but I might have just overlooked.
- Crosses over the line of both originality and similarities. I've seen something like this before but on different genre. Even though the plot is familiar I still wanna know what happens next.
- Not a page turner. Some cliff hangers are forced but it's not the worst book that I've read.

JUDGE: makcheetah
This was a good book. I like how there was a twist on the "billionaire" type story. I have to say I was expecting something really cliche, but it fact it wasn't! The plot line is incredible, and it flows amazingly! There were however a lot of grammatical mistakes, which can be fixed. Great job!

JUDGE: theunicornthequeen
I couldn't really get into the story because the little grammatical mistakes distracted me. Things like 'I' not being capitalised and the verbal tense changing randomly in the same sentences, or 'quiet' being spelt 'quite'...
Perhaps if these were corrected it would be much better?

An Assassin in Time  -  PhoenixBMeadows

JUDGE: theunicornthequeen 
• Not at all my cup of tea. I found it very confusing, like it doesn't really have a storyline but instead is a collection of random action packed scenes.
• I only read 10 chapters but I ended up with a million questions and absolutely no answers and I really had no idea what was going on.
• Also, it's like the author presumes you know who the characters are already? They need to he introduced properly and it needs to be clear who is doing what in each moment.
• The grammar was pretty good which is obviously very important, but for me this story just really wasn't good. Sorry!

JUDGE: makcheetah
Grammar: Has very few mistakes. You could read the book smoothly and wouldn't even notice the errors if you wouldn't look hard enough
Uniqueness: Completely differs in every aspect
Character: A few slip ups on character discovery
Writing: Inventive but slightly confusing.
Enjoyment: I liked it!

Death and The Deeds - RafiaZ

JUDGE: theunicornthequeen
I'M IN LOVE WITH THIS STORY! I think it's original and I just LOVE Hazel. I found one or two gramatical errors in all the chapters I read (which just so happened to be all of them) so well done!!!

JUDGE: makcheetah
I loved this book. It was so unique and creative. The plot line was very interesting and it was so hard to put down. The chapters were perfect length. There were little to no grammatical errors, and the writing flowed beautifully. There could be just a little bit more detail in some scenes. The characters were very original. Great job!

Uninvited - ShawMcKnight

JUDGE: makcheetah 
Based on the first ten chapters: The story line was much like other end of the world books. The characters were unique, but they could all use a little more background (which I'm sure is shown in the rest of the book). The dialogue can get a little confusing when there are several people talking and there aren't any "Jess said, Julian said" etc. The writing flowed, but could use just a little bit more of a push. Keep up the great work!

JUDGE: theunicornthequeen
I can't quite place what it is about the writing style but it's just not for me. I found myself loosing concentration all the time because the story just didn't capture my attention.
There were quite a few grammatical errors that don't seem to be just typos (as you repeat some of them) but it's not too bad grammatically.
This story is not something I would read usually but I think that's more to do with my point of view than your story. Either way keep on writing and I'm sorry!!!

My Butterfly  -  BarnaliBiswasRay

JUDGE: theunicornthequeen 
• This story isn't something I'd read generally because it's just so absolutely full of metaphors!
• The first mistake I noticed is that you don't introduce the character... we don't even get his/her name! Secondly I want to point out that you can't "abruptly" throw on your shoes, because abruptly means all of a sudden in an unexpected sort of way!
• As well as all this, there are a few grammatical errors and I've noticed that lots of time the order of the sentence is wrong, for example, at one point it says "I loved her to see fluttering" when I think you meant "I loved to see her fluttering".
• And finally we reach my biggest concern... The time leaps. It's all very well for there to be time leaps but what's wrong in this story is that you never know when it actually happens and it really REALLY confused me.
• This story is acceptable but not amazing. Maybe with some changes it can become something truly good, after all there are some incredible sentences in it!

JUDGE: makcheetah
This book was okay. The writing style and grammar were near perfect, and I loved the thick detail. However the plotline skipped ahead in time a lot, without any direction. For example, in just six short chapters, the character went from college to retirement/senior citizen. The changes in time were really confusing. Also, there were servers detail thy just popped up without and context. For example, when the wife died from cancer, thy just came from no where.

The Heartless Mobster  -  _musu__

JUDGE: theunicornthequeen 
• I think the idea is good and that the couples could be adorable! But my biggest problem with this story is that the grammar really isn't good... I've written "verbs" so many times on my notes because they just aren't grammatically correct! You can't say "He smirk" or "Vani mutter". I also think it all happens a bit fast, one minute they've only just seen each other and the next they are madly in love? It's all a bit fast!
• I think maybe all the characters should be introduced more because there are so many names and it's very confusing unless the author introduces them properly, plus, how old are they all meant to be? Because one minute they are acting like teenagers and the next they're adults... confusing!
• Despite all of this I do think it's a cute idea and with a few changes it could be an adorable story!

JUDGE: makcheetah
Grammar: Has very few mistakes. You could read the book smoothly and wouldn't even notice
Uniqueness: Completely differs in every aspect
Character: A few slip ups on character discovery
Writing: Inventive but slightly confusing.
Enjoyment: Good enough.

Saving Emily - taislebaron

JUDGE: theunicornthequeen 
• I am absolutely in love with this story! I think the characters are pretty well thought out and the story is full of mystery!
• I would like a few more scenes with the mother because it's like the main character's entire background has been forgotten a bit, or at least isn't being given the importance it deserves!
• The grammar is good and there is no strange vocabulary that could put a reader off so that's great!
• I really like the storyline and I want to congratulate the author!

JUDGE: makcheetah
Grammar: Perfect. No grammatical errors. No incorrect use of punctuation. No typo errors.
Uniqueness: Completely differs in every aspect
Character: Character built all the way through. Leaves a strong impression to the readers
Writing: Unique and easy to follow.
Enjoyment: I liked it!

Rani Sees The World - Kelsea_Dove

JUDGE: makcheetah 
The character development was phenomenal! Great originality in the character. Rani learning how to love and how to be independent is amazing. There were some grammatical errors however, which can influence the overall writing flow. Keep up the good work!!

JUDGE: theunicornthequeen
I think it's a lovely story so far! I love how independent Rani is! The main problem is that there are a few obvious mistakes which I would be more than happy to point out!
I feel identified with this story on a personal level because I love travelling and meeting new people and saying goodbye is so hard!!!
Well done!!! I can't wait to read more!

Oh My... Embarrassed Again!!! - BarryBJ 

JUDGE: makcheetah 
The book was comedic in a way, and you felt embarrassed for the main character. The individual stories should be split into their own individual chapters, so they stand alone. All the stories, seemed redundant, where the character has to dress up in costumes by losing a bet, etc. Interested to see where the story leads.

JUDGE: theunicornthequeen
When I started reading I thought it had potential, but as soon as I started reading story 1 it went downhill : (
You hardly introduce the characters so for example I don't really know anything about them! I also find that the main character is a bit... stupid? Like why even be friends with someone who basically bullies you?! I get that she main has a crush, but seriously?!
Basically I'd like more information on the characters. The more you get to know them, the more you understand what's going on! Maybe then I would actually find it funny?!!
Please continue writing though!

Unable to Stay, Unwilling to Leave  -  SayantiDatta 

JUDGE: anonymous
- I'm not sure what to say about your story. I felt like I was reading some sort of a narrative report about these two lovers or something. Maybe you should change the genre to Short Story? Since the chapters are too short and there are no big events or important happenings on each chapter.

JUDGE: theunicornthequeen
The chapters are very short and nothing much happens in them. To me it feels like they should all be one chapter, no need to seperate them. I like how you write though!

The Artist's Skills  -  black_hole_survivor

JUDGE: anonymous
- One of my decent reads in this competition. You could read the book smoothly and wouldn't even notice the errors if you wouldn't look hard enough
- I really love the plot. No wonder it became a featured story
- Just a few slip ups on character discovery
- I kinda like how you used 🎤 and 🖌
- Totally a page turner! (for me at least)

JUDGE: makcheetah
This book was phenomenal! It was an absolute page turner. The multiple POVs are clean and organized correctly like a book should be. The POV emojis are a great idea. The writing flowed beautifully, and there were rare grammatical mistakes. I will definitely keep reading! Great work!

JUDGE: theunicornthequeen
First of all I want to say that the title is really clever!!!!
I think you get better as the story progresses (the beginning is a bit stiff but as you get further in I think you got more into your characters). There's a lot going on in the story, it's like a mixture if loads of plots which is unnecessary.
I noticed there are a lot of comments at the beginning about how to improve and I agree with most of them but, like I said before, you get better.
Overall I like it and I think the characters are well rounded.