A gentle zephyr swirling through the summer leaves of a tree, caused a few senescent ones to shed and fly away with it.

While the weaker ones rested on the streets, one petal held on the flight and entered an open window. The soft sheer curtains, swaying along the breeze, gave it a smooth landing on the table inside the room.

The petal felt the delicate pat of a finger and sensed two mortals seated across the table. The female looking down at her hands, while the male watched over to find the right moment as he carefully patted the leaf.

Even the miniature life at its last moments felt the comfort of the space. The warm atmosphere that the psychiatrist has built around; it was serene.

Dr.Ban finally shifting his sight back to his outpatient, gently began with the fundamentals.

Dr.Ban : So, Ms. Baek Dan Hwa, how are you today?

There was a second of silence before she answered him with a straight face.

Dan Hwa : I am fine.

He nodded in response with a slight smile, not countering her airy statements.

She made a fist under the table, seeing the doctor easily buy her words. For one thing, Dan Hwa acknowledged that her feigning to him would not help either of them.
Just the guilt of deception brought her to reluctantly push herself a little.

Dan Hwa : I lied.

Distracted from studying her previous prescription, he gazed up at her with a casual expression.

Dr.Ban : Yes. I figured.

Dan Hwa : (-flustered-) Huh?

Briefed on her file, the professional leaned back on his chair.

Dr.Ban : Well, inside these confines, "I am fine" is not a very trustworthy sentence.

Dan Hwa : If you knew I was lying, why didn't you question me on it?

Each still carrying a hue of mystery to each other, the doctor tried to give the patient an edge. A very quick and shrewd psychological ploy that instantly makes one ease in the confessions when confessed to, by the other side. In other words, the psychiatrist revealing his ideas first shall indefinitely ease Dan Hwa into sharing her tightly guarded thoughts, too.

Dr.Ban : Well...I felt, answering would have been difficult, and thus lying appeared more convenient to you.

Dan Hwa's impression of him was caught off balance at his empathetic words. But it was too soon to judge—she thought, and spoke after an arduous effort to voice her mind.

Dan Hwa : I wanted to say otherwise, but...

Her words trailed off; she avoided a straight sight with flickering blinks. Dr.Ban patiently waited for a moment to see if she picked up the leash of her words again.
However, having her holding tight on a silence, the psychiatrist guided her around.

Dr.Ban : ...but it's hard to accurately phrase the reason why. And hence, you simply state "I am fine" to escape answering it. Is that what you wanted to say?

Rather than freaking out at him reading her emotions which were beyond her own grip, Dan Hwa experienced something unbind in her. It dispelled her out of a confusion, she would otherwise feel with his question.

Dan Hwa : Y-yes...

Dr.Ban : It's all right. It's one of the most common afflictions here. I personally call it the IAF syndrome. We find it easier to pretend what we don't feel, than enacting what we actually do. Even if we are not okay, it is easier to pretend so. Because often times, it's difficult to self-analyze your own emotions.

Just the knowledge that she was not the only one feeling this way, made it a lot more facile to accept. Somewhere, someone would be facing the similar challenges just like her, made it seem trivial and endurable.

Dr.Ban : Anyways! Can you walk me through the whole week of your sleep graph?

Abstracted, Dan Hwa reminisced the night of her unsought black out. Which, she had decided to highlight to the doctor, before coming in today.

Dan Hwa : I actually passed out one night.

Not entirely detailed, the psychiatrist calmly tried to deduce the cause behind it.

Dr.Ban : Passed out? Were you rushed to the Emergency Room?

Dan Hwa : No, I couldn't be. I live alone at my apartment. So, no one knew. And I gained my senses in the morning, like nothing happened. I was just as fine. I didn't feel any pain or discomfort whatsoever.

Dr.Ban : I see. Was it out of the blue? Like, did it happen after you had taken the medicines?

Dan Hwa : No, I was working late that night. So, I thought to take them after I was done.

She slipped out to inform him about the anxiety attack preceding it, fearing that would lead her to reveal the incident. The one, that was hidden from the world. The one, she was consciously evading to recall.

Dr.Ban : Oh, and could you otherwise have a decent sleep with them?

Dan Hwa : Uh...I mean, I did feel sleepy and might've rested for a while too. But I was not feeling fresh the next morning.

Her exact phrase ringed him to Jimin's phone call from a week back. He named it insubstantial and passed it on, conjecturing that a lot of his patient do speak the same lines. A mere coincidence, he inferred.

Dan Hwa : Sometimes, I feel like I have forgotten what it was like, to wake up with a complete sleep.

The psychiatrist mentally recorded her rhetorical remark, before proceeding with his questions.

Dr.Ban : You must've been really tired then. How did you manage to work for so long?

She took a moment of hesitation as she revealed a crucial element for the diagnosis.

Dan Hwa : Ah, actually, I had a few energy drinks. Infact, ever since I decided to quit sleeping pills, I relied on the booster drinks.

Dan Hwa casually disclosed the bug that was suppressing the power of medication, prescribed to her.

A very common impediment with nearly every patient in the medical field, that hinders the construction of an easy harmony between the consultant and his consultee. Namely : inadequate information about the ailments, the symptoms, and the probable contributing habits.

Rightly as they say, one must never lie to and/or hide from two personalities-the lawyer and the doctor.

The psychiatrist was patient with her however, and did not light the same in order to avoid making it a great deal. By his experience, he realized that Dan Hwa was a very sensitive case. With her, it was very important to set the boundaries of his questions. Just the amount, that it doesn't feel too blunt and invasive to her.

He wanted to allow her to make the decision herself, when and how much to say or reveal. The psychiatrist could visualize her tightly cemented walls, and knew that they would not budge with any pressure.

Thus, maintaining his benevolent attitude, he carefully placed his diagnosis over her obscure collapse.

Dr.Ban : As far as I can view it, you did not faint that night. You see, energy drinks basically activates the brain and overworks it. The exhaustion is suppressed by these aids and hence you are able to work without a conscious problem.

Dan Hwa attentively listened to his words, for they felt familiar yet put in a different perspective.

Dr.Ban : And every time, your brain attempted to indicate you to rest, you further suppressed the warning by another Can of boosters.

On the education behind the mechanics of those flavored drinks with the human body, Dan Hwa felt a sense of enlightenment.

Dr.Ban : This repeated till a point where your body no longer relied on you to resign from working. And the involuntary defense mechanism got activated. It simply pulled a system shutdown, to stop you. Thus, you felt like you had fainted; but in actuality, you had just fallen asleep. Which is why, you were absolutely fine the next morning.

His plausible reasoning further indulged her interest towards the professional. To study, to learn more about herself from his vantage point.

Dr.Ban : If you don't have other linking symptoms, you are fine. But, this can be excused only for once. It shouldn't happen again. Especially if you live alone, it can get out of hand. Therefore, the energy drink has to go.

Nevertheless, the conclusion of the narrative caused a displeasure in her mind within the few seconds of its delivery.

Dan Hwa : But, how will I work? I basically depend on them.

The psychiatrist did not react on her impulsive response, as he already saw it coming. And from his subtle scrutiny, he noticed her susceptibility towards the medical interpretations. Dr.Ban efficiently gripped on how she grasped on a situation better.

Henceforth, he approached the topic in a sensible and more logical direction. Just how Dan Hwa absorbed it best.

Dr.Ban : To word it simply, Insomnia treatment will not work if it stays. You might not see it, but energy drinks could also be adding further to the problem. They are basically mini sleep substitutes. But, they cannot and will not replace the needs of your sleep entirely.

Despite his informative explanation making perfect sense, Dan Hwa seemed to grow more and more defensive.

Dan Hwa : Even so, I cannot quit them. I have too many responsibilities and work to look after. I- I cannot afford to do them with a tired body and mind.

Dr.Ban : Well, you can always pass down some of your work to your people and supervise them, if needed. You are the director, if I remember correctly.

Dan Hwa quickly retorted to every little tributary of solution, streamed by the doctor.

Dan Hwa : How can I do that? They are already doing their own job. I cannot be so selfish to overwork them for me. Besides, I dislike irresponsible behavior. Do you want me to set an example doing just that?

The professional, nonetheless, kept his composure and calm. Not to pile on her anxiety, rather resolve it.

Dr.Ban : When it comes to our health, a little selfishness has no harm. No one is entirely selfless anyway.

Dan Hwa finally had a momentary pause, not expecting the psychiatrist to be that straightforward.

Dan Hwa : Fine. But, I love my work. I cannot consciously abandon them with my own hands.

Looking at her persistence and the anxiety that was speaking through her, Dr.Ban, eventually terminated the debate. He then landed his foot on the realm of analogy.

He marched over to the purifier, and poured her a glass of water. The psychiatrist spared a moment for her to calm down as he walked around her back to return to his seat.

Sometimes, rational reasoning overbore the main concern to be prioritized. He believed, an analogy, at that point, forces one to look in the same matter from a third person perspective. In order to focus more on to the prime need than the problem surrounding it.

Dr.Ban : Let's hear a short story. A load picker, tired and aching from the weight around his shoulders, is walking towards an endless road.

After a quick hydration of her throat, Dan Hwa seemed a little flustered by his sudden storytelling session. Nonetheless was captivated towards it.

Dr.Ban : He sits at a place, rests the load on the ground for a while. Drinks some water. And once he feels revitalized, he picks up the load and walks away with a smile. What does this tell you?

Dan Hwa, drawn to an epiphany, couldn't speak right away. And the doctor continued to garland her with the same.

Dr.Ban : Ms.Dan Hwa, you are not abandoning anything. Anyone can tell the love you embrace for your work. Hence, it can wait. It will understand you.

The moral of his fleeting discourse incited her to a reflective analysis. Taking a break once in a while, didn't feel like the most awful infringement to her anymore.

Dr.Ban : But, infirmities would not. They are like inspection boards. Nobody likes them to visit. But they do when you are ignorant and slacking from the duties towards your body.

She was transfixed by his way with words and the strong grip he had on metaphorical correlations.

Dr.Ban : So, in a way, sometimes ailments are necessary. To remind us of our negligence and lack of care, and leave us with a more conscientious and active mindset.

The psychiatrist lent her a few moments in silence for his words to penetrate through her rigid fort. Nevertheless, he also discreetly changed the topic to prevent her from overthinking.

Dr.Ban : About the energy drinks. What is your frequency? What is your daily or average intake?

With a hint of reluctance, Dan Hwa eased into the debate eventually.

Dan Hwa : One in the morning, one in the evening—is a must. But, I add on if I feel extra tired.

Dr.Ban : I see. Well, it will be hard to suddenly stop. So, I want you to drop the extras for the first week. The evening bottle for the next. And slowly altogether.

Having her half heartedly nod along, the psychiatrist made a slight change in the dosage of her medication. And opened a drawer of cassettes in his table.

He picked one out and handed it to Dan Hwa along with her prescription. And before she inquired, Dr.Ban voluntarily aided her curiosity.

Dr.Ban : In order to maintain a good sleep hygiene, I advice you to cut using your cell phone or any digital gadget of that kind, at least an hour to two prior to going to bed. The blue light from smart devices inhibits the effect of Melatonin-the hormone which maintains our sleep rhythms.

Not very attached to social media, it would not be a difficult task for her, she thought.
Dan Hwa absorbed the information very keenly; Dr.Ban was likely satiated elucidating the same to her.

Dr.Ban : And since its production is already very low in your case. The greater duration before bed away from the blue light, the better. Consequently, the efficacy of the medication should also increase.

While she briefly eyed through the changes, the psychiatrist also provided her a solution to her unknown queries.

Dr.Ban : To kill that extra time, you can do mild activities; like read, paint or any hobby of that sort. But, I would suggest, you don't occupy yourself with any active work; like exercise or official matters that requires your full concentration.

Dan Hwa never realized she needed these answers until she heard them. With growing time, Dr.Ban was progressively climbing up her trust ladders.

Dr.Ban : And this tape contains a few soothing melodies. Sometimes, good music can calm your nerves and help you relax. You can listen to them while trying to sleep.

She studied the object in her palm quietly as the doctor concluded the session at last.

Dr.Ban : And I hope to see you next week.

.

.

The same evening at Eun Ha Su, director's office, Dan Hwa sighed-recalling the doctor's words. They all seemed eloquent and inspiring in his room. However, the affect was slowly toning down and she was descending more to a dilemma.

"I am just resting it for a while. That's right. After the rest, I am gonna pick up the load again." she whirred to herself and hesitantly called designer Lee in her cabin.

In a moment, at his arrival, she gestured him to take a seat. And tried to stall away her intention behind the summon.

Dan Hwa : Uh... How is the Drama set progressing?

Mr.Lee : Well, for the next episode, it is an apartment exclusive shooting. So, no artificial sets are on call. (-seconds apart-) Oh and for the music video, two sets are already on the finishing stage. Without any new arising issue, we will easily have the four others on stand before the deadline.

Dan Hwa : That's great.

Not catching on Dan Hwa's partial or rather attention, Lee Jun continued.

Mr.Lee : With a little relief from the Drama, it is not as exhausting now. So, you made a good call taking in the music video set, too.

Assured about the comparatively less strenuous week, Dan Hwa felt it easier to do it.

Dan Hwa : Designer Lee, the reason I called you here... Well, actually...

She reluctantly pushed a pile of ringed files towards him, trying to complete her words.

Dan Hwa : These need to be reviewed on by today.

Mr.Lee waited for a moment to listen to the sentence that seemed incomplete. But watching her contemplation and fidgeting fingers, he roamed his eyes through the first file in the stack.

A small smile appeared on his lips as he figured out the words she was struggling to sound out to him. Although, it appeared a little strange coming from her. Yet, he simply wanted to believe in her silent reasons.

He put the file back and stood up with a confident voice.

Mr.Lee : Yep! I will have them reviewed positively by today, Team Jang-nim. Good day. 

Without a speck of distaste in his mien, Mr.Lee exited the room, carrying the heavy pile on his hands.

Dan Hwa smiled and like all the other times, silently thanked him. For giving her space. For giving her the privilege to escape pronouncing the words, difficult for her to say.

Hours traveled through, the sky grew a dark navy and a few grey clouds floated by. Dan Hwa was focused towards her last review for the day when she heard a knock.

Mr.Lee, on an approval, entered with the finished work and placed them directly on their designated place. Dan Hwa trusted him with his assigned job perfectly, as she gradually stirred to wrap up.

Looking at her daily schedule sheet―all tasks accomplished within the office hours―brought a very peculiar satisfaction to her heart. Something she was experiencing in quite a while.

Although, Dan Hwa bore a guilt to descend a share of it on designer Lee, she called it her errant pleasure.

While to the male designer, it was rather an alleviation of his guilt to lure her into the director seat. Now with their balanced duties, he felt relieved.

Mr.Lee, noticing her mellowed composure, wondered to himself if she was visiting her doctor lately. Nonetheless, hesitated to ask.

Mr.Lee : Let's grab a drink tonight. What say?

Dan Hwa looked at him, closing the distance as he approached the door.

Dan Hwa : (-sarcastic-) A drink?

Mr.Lee : Ah right! You don't drink. That's fine, you can have something else, I don't mind.

Dan Hwa : And the promise you made-

Mid sentence, Dan Hwa gripped on his sly move and shook her head in a funny disbelief. Winding her bag around her shoulder, she exited the cabin after him.

Dan Hwa : I am seeing the doctor. Just ask directly, you punk.

Mr.Lee widened his eyes in surprise, as they walked side-by-side to the elevator.

Mr.Lee : How did you-?

Dan Hwa : Anyone could've read that on your face. Try looking in the mirror this summer. It'd be fun.

Mr.Lee : Yah!

Their bickering voices faded out as they walked away from the dim lit common work station.

Clouds apart, in a similar murk of the BTS dormitory-quietly sneaking through the night-Jimin was seen taking his routined dosage in the kitchen.

He almost choked on the water, at the sudden voice of Taehyung behind his back.

TH : Jimin-ah!

JM : Onh?

A rush of cold sweat broke in him as he wiped his mouth to look. Jimin was nervous that Taehyung would find out the secret, he so ardently wanted to protect. The latter casually walked to Jimin, scratching his neck.

TH : Why did you grow so pale to see me? Are you okay?

JM : Onh, I am fine. I was just a little startled when you came.

Jimin wanted to hide the drug strip from his sight. But, it was already too late. It would catch Taehyung's sight, if he attempted to move anything from the counter now. Therefore, Jimin could only wish, the other's eyes to not go there.

TH : What are you doing here in the dark- (-notices the counter-) Wait a second, what are these medicines though?

JM :

_____

Will he find out?
How would he react?
🤧
I apologize for the late update. Will try to come sooner next time!
:)