We travel in silence, no one daring to speak for fear of unleashing an emotional storm they couldn't handle. I focus and try to empty my mind, attempting to control my tears, my anger, and my despair.

To my great relief, we quickly arrive at Andy's, where I hastily retreat to my room to let it all out. I don't know how many hours pass before I finally fall asleep, drained of all my tears and consumed by rage.

I wake at dawn with a profound sense of loneliness and distress. I have nothing left to hold onto, nothing that makes me want to keep living. Retrieving Orfeo's ashes was the only thing that could reignite my will to fight, but now, hope is nothing but ashes.

Unable to sleep and tired of the sound the sheets make with every turn, I decide to leave the calm of the apartment to pay one last visit to Ezio.

As soon as I step out of the taxi, my hair stands on end. Being in this cemetery where, months ago, Ezio took me to talk about his late brother, shakes me more than I anticipated. With a somber step, I walk through the large avenues of tombs, searching for the newer gravestones. After a few hundred meters, I finally find Ezio's final resting place, right next to Giuseppe's.

Facing this elegant, simple black marble stone adorned with a golden inscription, I'm overcome with dizziness and have to steady myself against the grave.

"To my late son, taken too soon,

May death be kinder to you than life ever was.

1993 - 2023

EZIO MADINI"

Overwhelmed by the reality crashing into me, I can no longer deny the truth. Kneeling before his grave, I gently trace the letters of his name with my fingers. Each letter I touch anchors my soul deeper into sorrow. By this simple gesture, I find myself imagining that it is powerful enough to break the barrier of death and allow me to feel Ezio's warm skin again. But it is not. Only the cold, unforgiving stone meets my touch. With my hands on my knees, I weep for my love, as if each tear could relieve me of the unbearable weight of his loss. As minutes pass, the abyssal void of Ezio's absence consumes me. The pyromaniac of my last ambitions, he ravages everything with his deadly blaze, leaving only ashes.

I am so overwhelmed by my emotions that I don't hear the light footsteps on the grass behind me. It's only when she starts speaking that I become aware of her presence.

"You who are here, do not stand at my grave and weep. I am not there; I do not sleep. I blow like a thousand winds that sweep. I am the diamond glint on snow. I am the sunlight on ripened grain. I am the gentle autumn rain. You who are here, do not stand at my grave and weep. I am not there; I do not sleep."

I turn and see Andy, lips pressed together and eyes filled with sorrow.

"That's beautiful."

"Oh, it's not mine. It's from a series or a film, I can't remember. But it doesn't detract from its beauty or truth. Ezio will always live with you, in your heart, in your memories, in your steps. A place will bring his face to mind, a scent will recall his fragrance, a sound will remind you of his gentle voice or his booming laughter. No matter where you go, he will be by your side, like the invisible rays of the summer sun, warming you with his love."

I burst into tears at her words.

"I can't bear it. I don't want to relive all our memories without being able to touch him, smell him, or talk to him. It's unbearable and will consume me slowly. Nothing matters without him. I've lost all reason to cling to life. I just want to be with him and stop feeling this omnipresent void and pain every time I open my eyes and realize he exists only in my dreams."

With tears in her eyes, Andy takes me in her arms, where I sob uncontrollably.

"Come on, it's time to go," she whispers.

I remain unmoved, refusing to stand.

"May, please come."

"Only if you come with me to my home. I want to go back."

"You're far from ready."

I lock my gaze with hers.

"I'll go with or without you."

I get up, determined, and start to leave when I feel Andy's arm loop around mine.

"I'll go where you go."

We take Andy's car and head to the manor. We arrive at the gate, where plush toys and wilted flowers still stand. Andy parks on the side, and we decide to walk up the driveway. We step over the mound of objects and pass through the gates.

Death reigns from the first steps. The park is completely neglected, overgrown with weeds and brambles that have taken over the grounds.

After a few minutes, we reach the manor's door. I place my hand on the handle, trembling with anticipation. Taking a deep breath, I open the door, and we step inside. Everything is as we left it, with an added layer of dust. I hold back my tears, forbidding myself from breaking down again. Seeing the place where we lived our happy moments overwhelms me. I knew this ordeal would be difficult, but perhaps not to this extent.

With each step deeper into the manor, I become a ghost, reliving the good times that replay before me. Every laugh that comes back, every smell, every visual caress of the surroundings intensifies the suffering gripping my heart with its cruel hand. Out of breath, my eyes burning with tears, I leave the ground floor to climb the stairs, followed by Andy.

Slowly, I approach the door to our bedroom, dreading to push it open. I gather my strength and enter. As soon as I open the door, the pervasive scent of Ezio overwhelms me. My emotions held hostage by his lingering fragrance, I can't think, and my body acts on its own. Without explanation, I head to our closet. To my surprise, none of Ezio's belongings are there. I turn to Andy, questioning her with my eyes.

"Raphael came and took all his things. He emptied every last drawer of anything that belonged to Ezio."

"By what right did he do that ? I remain his wife even after his death ! I wanted to keep his things!"

Her words unleash my anger. I grab empty hangers and fling them across the room. Ridiculous as it may seem, it's the only way my body can expel my rage.

"Andy, I need to be alone, please," I order, my gaze distant.

Without arguing, she leaves me to my demons.

Shattered, my body and mind lighten as my steps guide me to the bathroom. My soul, reclusive in a corner, lets my body move, transforming me into a shadow of myself. Passively, I open a drawer and find the object of my dark desires. I sit in the bathtub, and with a razor blade, I slit my veins. As my warm blood flows over my cold skin, I feel life slipping away. The pain I feel is nothing compared to the relief and well-being that cradle me into the depths of unconsciousness.