The memory bench
He takes my hand without looking at me, and we walk through the cemetery paths until we stop in front of a gravestone.
" To our beloved son and brother
Tragically taken from his family
Gone too soon, you are and will remain in our hearts
GIUSEPPE MADINI 1990-2020 "
The air thick with melancholy, I swallow painfully at the inscription, which tightens my throat with sadness. Even though he was a stranger to me, I feel my heart grow heavy with sorrow and desolation. Despite his attempt to maintain composure, I feel the grief Ezio is trying to fight, and I can only imagine the memories this visit must bring him, tormenting his mind like flashes. As if I could convey my love and support through this simple gesture, I squeeze his hand tighter, and he returns the squeeze.
A crow's caw suddenly shatters the silence that had enveloped us. Then, Ezio's voice, cracked with held-back sobs, ends his moment of silence.
"This is the reason for my behavior yesterday. It was two years to the day since my brother died."
My voice, held hostage by the grip of sadness, remains silent. Guilt gnaws at me, making me feel foolish for thinking it was my fault and reacting so selfishly.
"I come here every year. It's too hard to come more than once, even though time passes, the pain is still sharp."
He pauses, overwhelmed by emotion.
"You can let it out; it's okay, I try to reassure him."
But he does nothing of the sort, tensing up even more to suppress his emotions.
"We can leave if you want."
He nods, and we return to the motorcycle, moving away from Giuseppe's body but never from his memory.
"I want to show you a place that's dear to me."
I nod, and we put on our helmets before getting back on the motorcycle and heading off.
I recognize the road. We are not far from Ezio's childhood home, where his father still lives.
He takes a small path, and we arrive at a cliff with a magnificent view of the sea. Among olive trees that perfume the air with a delicate scent, there is a bench whose wood seems to have weathered the ages, the seasons, and memories. Once we're off the bike, Ezio takes my hand, and we sit on this bench facing the sea.
A few minutes pass, during which we enjoy a new silence, marked by the gentle sound of the waves. Our hearts still heavy from the poignant visit we just made, I let Ezio take control of the time and conversation. It's only after the sea breeze, light and soothing, rises and carries away the burden of sorrow that weighed on Ezio's heart, that he finds the strength to speak with a voice bathed in nostalgia.
"I haven't been back here since Giuseppe died. This was our refuge when things weren't going well, to announce our big plans, or just to talk about everything and nothing."
His eyes moist, he drowns his gaze in the horizon. I watch him speak, not wanting to interrupt.
"Giuseppe was more than a brother to me. When my mother died, my father completely rejected me. So, I was raised by Giuseppe; he taught me everything from A to Z. Of course, a child raising another child doesn't make any sense, but he did well. At least, I think he did. He supported me a lot, and even though I sorely lacked our mother's love and our father's, he managed to make me someone well-mannered, with values, and taught me respect. I owe him everything, and I failed to protect him as he did for me all that time."
He pauses again and swallows hard, trying to wipe away the emerging tears.
"Giuseppe was destined for a great future; he would have made a respectable mafia baron. He had all the qualities and had great modern visions to bring. He managed to earn respect and make a name for himself at a young age; he was my role model, the person I wanted to make the proudest. The only flaw my brother had was thinking he was above the law and wanting what he couldn't have. That's what led to his downfall."
Overwhelmed by emotion, he clears his throat and continues to gaze at the horizon, his eyes distant.
"Isabella was precisely the cause of his downfall, though unintentionally. She was engaged to a son, Ozani, of great rivals of our family. But at a social event, Giuseppe set his eyes on Isabella, and the moment he saw her, he fell head over heels in love and decided she was the one. He courted her for weeks; at first, she resisted, but little by little, she let herself be seduced, and they had an affair that lasted several months. Then one day, my brother came to get her, and they ran away. He married her in Sicily, and they went to Croatia to hide where no one knew them and where they could live their love without hiding. They lived there for two years, but my brother couldn't stay away from his homeland for long, and with the business, they had to return. Despite the measures taken to ensure their safety, the Ozani quickly found them and demanded a vendetta. We fought for months, losing many men on both sides. We ended up killing the father, mother, and three of the five Ozani children. Only Ellio, Isabella's ex-fiancé, and his brother were left. Giuseppe and Ellio then arranged a meeting. Only the two of them to discuss an agreement. Despite his refusal, I followed him, wanting to protect him. The reputation of the Ozani preceded them; far from being men of their word, they were well known for their constant betrayals. At the meeting, Ellio was alone at first, then after a few minutes, his brother joined them with Isabella, unconscious and visibly tortured. Seeing her, Giuseppe lost his temper. He wanted to do everything to get her back, even betraying his own side. He was about to bargain with them when I came out of the shadows to intervene. I then killed the Ozani brother. To avenge himself, Ellio shot Isabella, completely shattering my brother. Instinctively, I shot Ellio, who fell to the ground. I then ran to Giuseppe, who was completely shaken by Isabella's condition. He was paralyzed, unable to make any decisions, so I picked up Isabella, knowing her life depended on our speed. I screamed at Giuseppe to get up and leave, which he did, but just as we took two steps, a gunshot rang out from nowhere. I then heard a weight fall, and turning around, I saw my brother at my feet. Ozani, still on the ground, held his gun pointed at us. I hadn't killed him. I will never forget his eyes and bloody smile as he said he had "played his last brilliant move." Those were his last words before he laid down and died. It took me a few seconds before I put Isabella down and went to check on my brother. His pulse was already gone. Then I saw red and emptied my clip on Ellio. I then returned to Giuseppe's side to try desperately to save him. Only after trying everything to resuscitate him did I realize his condition and that there was nothing I could do. It's my fault my brother is dead; I didn't protect him as he protected me. Worse, I triggered his death. That's why I am in this state on the day of his death, the guilt that eats me daily is amplified on the anniversary. I can't silence it, and only alcohol helps me numb myself. Despite everything, I managed to save Isabella by taking her to the hospital in time, where she could recover safely, though it didn't lessen the loss."
Stunned by this tragedy, I remain silent, listening to his story. I can barely imagine the pain he must feel, the inner battles he must fight every day since this tragedy. I don't know how to act, whether to hug him or leave him alone with the weight of his revelations, so I stay silent and still, afraid of doing the wrong thing.
"After his death, my father rejected me even more, calling me worthless, bringing shame to the Madini family, and undeserving of my name. So I worked hard, fought, and got my hands dirty to earn my father's respect and my legitimacy in the mafia world. May, I understand better than anyone what you must go through to be accepted in my father's eyes because to me, you are already worthy of joining the mafia. It wasn't easy; I came from far, but I fought and didn't give up, and I made it. Despite my father's occasional tests, I now know I am worthy of my future status, and I owe it to my brother; it's thanks to his upbringing. When Giuseppe died, I vowed never to fall in love and never let a woman have such power over me. I didn't understand it and even resented him for dying for a woman. It was an illusion because now I understand why he did it. When I found you, at first, I just wanted to keep the promise I made to Nonna, but when I saw you at the restaurant facing the sea, I knew I had suppressed the desire to find you because I loved you."
I turn his head toward me and kiss him tenderly, then hug him to offer all my comfort.
"I love you too, Ezio. You no longer have to fight your inner demons alone. I'm here now, by your side. I want to become your greatest strength, not your weakness."
Ezio smiles timidly.
"May, no matter what you do, you will always be my greatest weakness. You are the most precious thing in this world to me, and I can't imagine losing you. It was foolish of me to think I would have acted differently from my brother because if it were us in their place, I know I would have done the same. You are the best thing that ever happened to me, and I will never regret our meeting, regardless of whether you are my weakness or my strength. You are the love of my life, and my love for you is so powerful that I don't care about the rest. Everything can collapse as long as I am with you, and I will be happy."
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