I shrug and give him a tender smile. We kiss and then head home. The days pass, and as planned, I stay in bed. Since the meeting with Sergio, my guilt hasn't lessened, but if there's any silver lining, it's that I'm no longer wallowing in my room and am open to company other than Ezio's. I spend the afternoon with Andy, who came to save me from boredom while Ezio discusses business with his father and Isabella in his office. Ever since they found out the baby is a boy, Raphaël has surprisingly softened towards me. When I say softened, I mean he now says hello and goodbye without giving me death stares. We still don't talk and avoid each other as much as possible. Probably a concession on his part not to stress me during my pregnancy and to ensure a healthy grandson. I have no illusions about his respect for me and know full well he sees me as nothing more than a broodmare.

"And another win !" I exclaim.

"Pfff, you cheated, your game sucks." grumbles Andy in frustration.

"It's not sucky, it's strategic."

She rolls her eyes.

"When you suggested playing Nine Men's Morris, I thought it was going to be way more fun. At least the name sounds funnier than it is to play."

"Ah, such a sore loser, just because you're bad at strategy."  I tease her.

"Not at all, I can be strategic; I want to replay."

"Ready to lose again ?"

"We'll see about that, incubator." I start.

I smile, trying to contain my laughter, knowing she will soon lose her patience. Sure enough, after a few rounds, she realizes she's losing. I'm about to move my piece when suddenly she flings the board across the room with a flick of her wrist.

"The game is canceled. It's a draw." she declares in bad faith.

"Not at all, you've just knocked everything over !"

"It's the hurricane strategy, you wouldn't understand, it's for real strategists."

I chuckle at her ridiculous explanation and sink deeper into the couch. I venture a question, tentatively.

"How have you been feeling since Salva's death ?"

Andy tenses up and looks at me, then her eyes drift into emptiness.

"Honestly, better. Andrea has been great. He comforted me and gave me great support. Even though we had broken up, I cared about him. We weren't right for each other, but it kills me to know he died heartbroken, never having the chance to experience true love. And you, are you still having nightmares ?" she asks me.

I understand that her change of topic betrays her discomfort. I respect her choice and decide not to press her further, not wanting to disturb her more. She always respected my silence when I lost Nonna, it's my turn to do the same today.

" Yes, still, but the frequency has lessened. I don't have them every night like before, but they remain intense and painful."

"And about Paola, how are you handling it ?"

"The guilt won't leave me, I think I'll live with it. Speaking with Sergio didn't help because even though he was angry, some of his words were true. Nevertheless, I'm gradually accepting her death, even though her absence weighs on me. We had grown close before her death, and the fact that she passed away so tragically and so young, without really living as she wanted, makes me genuinely sad. No one deserves that."

" I understand what you're saying is right, but you forget she was a mafia daughter. No matter what awaited her, her life expectancy was limited. We all know it when we're born into or flirt with this world. Our days are numbered without ever really knowing which will be the last. I sincerely hope that time will ease your pain and guilt because even though you survived, a part of you died there. You'll never be quite the same, and I think that price is already heavy enough."

I stay silent after her last statement. The sound of the doorbell ringing snaps me out of my thoughts.

"Are you expecting someone ?"

"No, not that I know of." I reply, getting up.

"No, wait, stay there, I'll get it."

Andy goes to the door, and I hear a man's voice reply to her. I realize she lets him in when I hear the door close and his voice still echoing. It's when they pass through the arch into the living room that I sit up, surprised to see our guest.

"Sergio ? What are you doing here ?"

He scratches the back of his head, clearly embarrassed about our last conversation.

"I came to apologize for my words last time."

"Oh, you didn't have to go through the trouble. I wasn't holding a grudge, I understand your anger."

He looks at me, saddened and helpless.

" Ezio was right, I shouldn't have spoken to you like that or said all those awful things that I didn't even mean. Anger took over my thoughts and my tongue."

I smile tenderly, touched by his apology.

"May I offer you something to drink ?"

"No, I don't want to impose, but I would like to talk to you in private, if possible."

I look at Andy, and she nods her head, then leaves us alone.

Sergio approaches and sits in the armchair opposite me. He hands me a letter with my name on it.

" While gathering Paola's belongings, I found this letter on her desk. I obviously didn't open it."

I take it and open the envelope. Inside, there's a letter and some keys. I pull out the keys and look at them curiously.

"These are the keys to her apartment."

I look at Sergio, skeptical.

"Paola had a secret life, I knew it. I found out early in her adolescence that she preferred girls, but I never wanted to tell her or accept it. Ezio was right. It was a shame for me, and keeping it secret allowed me to believe she was normal."

"But she was normal, regardless of her sexual orientation, you realize that ?"

He looks at me, exasperated by my little lesson, and continues.

"I had a mole, her driver. I asked for reports on her whereabouts to make sure nothing bad happened to her. That's how I learned she had bought an apartment where she lived as the real Paola she was. I know I'm not worthy of my daughter, and if I could, I'd go back and do things differently. Please, whatever she tells you in this letter, respect her last wishes in her memory and in the memory of our family. She helped you in her lifetime, can you do the same for her in her death ?"

We are interrupted by a noise coming from the hallway. I get up to check it out and find Isabella smiling, having bumped into a vase.

"Oh May, sorry I didn't mean to interrupt, I was just going to the bathroom." she specifies with a smile, in an astonishingly cordial tone.

I look at her incredulously and point her in the right direction. I return to Sergio, who has risen from his seat.

"Thank you, May, for your time. Take care of yourself and Ezio, and congratulations on your happy event."

I thank him and smile, then escort him to the door. Once he's gone, I call Andy back and share our discussion, showing her the letter and keys.

"Well, you just have to read this letter now." she tells me.