"Calla!" Addie was screaming as she violently jerked my body back and forth. "What the actual fuck were you thinking?" She kept screaming at me. I still felt numb. I sat up and tried to figure out where I was. "I asked you a fucking question Calla! Who the fuck gave this shit to you? And why the fuck did you take it?"

"I-" I didn't know what to say. She took her hands and grabbed my face so I was looking directly into her eyes.

"You what? Your pupils are the size of the sun. Why did you do this? You promised me..."

"I wanted to feel numb. The thoughts got to me. I-" My vocal chords stopped working.

"I'm taking you to the hospital. You know what I told you if I found you doing this shit again."

"No. Don't take me there." I tried to stand up but fell over onto my couch.

"I fucking can't believe that you'd do this to me, you selfish bitch. I told you to talk to me before you did anything like this. I FUCKING MEANT IT!" At least you're numb.

"What day is it?" I ask rubbing my eyes trying to regain the strength to stand.

"It's fucking Sunday. You've been in here for three fucking days. Why did you do this?"

"I FUCKING TOLD YOU ALREADY. STOP SCREAMING AT ME!" I couldn't take it anymore. "Get the fuck out of my house if all you're going to do is scream at me."

"Are you being serious? I've been here for you since the fucking accident. I revolved my entire life around you to help you and then you go and lie to me and break promises I thought you could keep? And now you want me to leave? You must be out of your fucking mind if you think I'm going to leave you." God, I love this girl. She's the sweetest person on this planet until you break her heart.

"I'm sorry. I didn't want to bother you or anyone else."

"Zebulon has been freaking out. You wouldn't answer anyone's calls... I've been worried about you." She sat down on the couch and grabbed my arms and pulled my head into her chest. "It's all going to be okay?" she whispered into my ear. I started bawling. "Hey," she said as she gently lifted my head up to look into my eyes, "Promise you won't do this again. Or I will come here and live with you to make sure you aren't doing this shit, okay?"

"Okay. I won't do it again." A lie I wish I didn't have to tell. It's healthy because it makes you feel better.

"Hey, stop that." She scolded.

"Stop what?" I asked... can she hear my thoughts.

"I can tell when you're having self destructive thoughts."

"I don't have self destructive thoughts... Do I?"

"Yes, every time the light disappears from your eyes, I know they are seeping in. Let me help you." She reached her hand out and stroked my face. I buried my face deeper into her chest and let her hold me. It makes sense... but how do I stop them...?
"How do I stop them?" I ask.

"You need to go see someone. I'll have my mom make you an appointment with my doctor, okay?" she is literally the best. She got up from the couch and went towards my kitchen.

"I'm going to make you some breakfast. How do you want your eggs?" She hollered from the kitchen.

"Uh..... over medium please.... thank you."

"No problem honey."

I reached over and grabbed my phone. 36 missed calls in total. I opened up the phone app and looked to see who had called me. Zebulon: 15 missed calls fuck Addie: 17 missed calls fuck. Andrew: 2 missed calls and Zach: 2 missed calls. I chuckled a bit.

"Guess who fucking called me, Addie." I shouted into the kitchen.

"I swear to God if you say the fucking name I think you are... I'll rip his fucking dick off." She screamed back. I started laughing hysterically.

"Then I guess you're ripping someone's dick off!"

"Where is that fucker?" She whispered angrily as she walked in with a plate full of toast and two perfectly over medium eggs.

"I don't know... i can call him back." I joked to her.

"The fuck you will! Speaking of calling people back... call Zebulon. He's been worried sick."

"Ugh. FINE." I pushed on his name. BRINGG BRINGG.... BRINGG BRINGG.... "CALLA???" Zebulon shouted into the phone.
"Ouch! You don't have to scream!" I yelled back.
"You—-re alive!" He screamed again.
"Yes I'm alive silly goose."
"I need to see you. Can I come over right now?" He desperately asked.

"Hey babe? I've gotta dash and go home really quick okay?" Addie whispered.

"Okay hon. Thank you for everything...."

"Not a problem!" She whispered and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

"Yes, Zebulon, you can come over now." I replied.
"Good, because I'm already almost there. See you in a few! Bye!"
"Bye!" He hung up.

I looked down at the plate of food Addie had made me and I started to cut into the warm yummy eggs. I picked up the remote and turned on the tv. Another car accident. Except.... that looked alot like Addie's car.... I quickly grabbed my phone and dialed her number. It went straight to voicemail. I dialed her mom.... "Hello?"
"Where is Addie?!" I screamed into the phone. "She's right here... asking me to set you up an appointment with a doctor... why?" "I saw a car that looked just like hers that was completely totaled and I just wanted to make sure she was okay." "Yes honey, she's fine." "Thank you so much... have a good day!" "You too, bye!" We said it at the same time and hung up.

*knock knock* I ran over to the door. I flung it open and Zebulon immediately drowned me in his arms.

"Oh my gosh! You're okay!" He screamed as he held me tighter. I hugged back.

"Yes... i'm fine, silly." He leaned down and gave me a big kiss on the forehead.

"I'm never letting you do this to me again."

"Yes, sir!" I replied back. He loosened his grip and took a step back.

"W-what is that?" He said while pointing at the coffee table. Fuck.

"Urm.... don't worry about it." I brushed it off. He kept backing up until his back was inches from the door.

"You.... do drugs?" He asked... clearly hurt and upset by the image.

"I slipped up... i'm sorry." The light and happiness disappeared from his eyes. "It won't happen again... especially if I have you to help me..." his expression was blank. No longer were his eyes full of love.... but full of... disgust.