Now, any normal person would enjoy finishing their slice of cold pizza in silence. Well guess who isn't normal? Me.

Doing anything in silence freaks me out. ANYTHING. I have to sleep with music. I have to eat with the TV on. There always has to be noise or my brain goes *OMG WE'RE GONNA DIE*

Sometimes I really hate my phobias. Like all I want to do is live like normal people do. Is that too much to ask for?

Why am I talking to myself?

I REALLY need to turn on the TV.

I get up off the couch and end the horrific silence with the sound of a Disney movie.

Princess movies always set me at ease because there isn't too much to be afraid of with them. Sometimes they set me too much at ease. I can feel myself doze off, but I'm too lazy to go to my bed. Oh well.

~~~~~~~

"AHHHHHHH!" I scream as I jump off the couch and run into my bedroom.

Another Night Terror. Great. I always have night terrors. I can never get a decent amount of sleep.

I turn to look at my alarm clock. 7:30.

I jump off the couch again.

"I'M GOING TO BE LATE AGAIN!" I scream.

I quickly start throwing clothes on and as soon as I'm about to head out the door, I realize. It's Saturday.

Dear Christ. Why do I always do this. I really need to get a roommate or something because this is just too much.

Maybe I need a therapist. But would they really understand what I'm going through or would they just pretend they do like every councilor at school does? This is just becoming too stressful.

Well, I'm up so why not go out and do something with Addie?

I go to get my phone to call her and see that I have a message from her already.

Addie: Hey girl! We're going shopping today! I am going to bring a few friends of mine. Be ready by 8!

Calla: I was planning on doing something with you anyways! See you then!

I send the text and go back and read her text.

"I am going to bring a few friends of mine."

She's doing WHAT?!?!?!?

I can barely handle the people at school... HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO HANDLE MORE PEOPLE I DON'T EVEN KNOW?

Calla: Um... idk if I can go anymore... something came up

She's not going to notice... Right?

Addie: Something came up? Just like every other time I invite you to do something with me when I invite other friends? No. Not this time sweety. You're coming. They are both guys and I don't want you to ditch me. Pls come. I need you :(

Calla: Fine. I'll be ready.

Addie: Aww! Thanks! Bai!

Addie: Ooo! I forgot. Try to look nice today for me!

Nice?

Well shoot. What do I have that's nice.

I dig through my closet to find something nice.

Ahah! I found the perfect thing.

I put on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt.

I look in the mirror.

"Dang girl you look good!" I say to myself.

*Knock knock*

She's here!

I run to the door and open it and quickly slam the door shut. That's not Addie...

I look through the peephole and see a very tall man waiting in front of my door. His features are very handsome. His eyes are a dark, but glowing brown. And his jawline is so sharp...

WHAT ARE YOU THINKING CALLA? NO. BAD CALLA. NO THINKING ABOUT GUYS LIKE THAT. Not after what happened last time...

I crack the door open just enough so I can speak to him.

"M-m-m-may I help you?" I ask him nervously.

"Oh, Hi. I'm Addie's boyfriend's friend and.... Yeah." He says awkwardly while scratching his head.

Honestly, if I weren't so scared I think I might already be in love with this guy.

"Oh okay!" I say back a little too happily.

He walked back to Addie's car with his hands in his pockets and I followed. I got into the back seat and saw Addie's boyfriend and her in the front. Where was he going to sit?

....

Wait.

Oh my God.

NO!

"Ummm... Addie..." I say really nervously.

'What's up babe?"

"Where is he sitting?"

"In the back with you. Why? Is that a problem?"

"Y-y-y." I tried saying as he opened up the door and sat down next to me in the tiny car. He was practically cuddling with me and I was dying on the inside.

"Y-No."

"I thought you'd be okay with it." She said while winking at me. She pulled out of my driveway and we drove to the mall.

"Calla," Addie said.

"Yes?" I reply sheeply.

"I thought I told you to dress nice."

"I thought I did." I say while looking down at my outfit.

"I should've known this is what you'd wear. What are we going to do with you?"

"I think she looks just fine." The handsome boy sitting next to me said.

I nearly died on the inside and wanted to die over and over again so I would stop blushing like a maniac.

"We're here guys!" Addie said while parking the car and opening her door.

I quickly opened up the door and got out and nervously pulled at my hair.

I checked my phone to try to make myself look busy.

"Calla! Hurry up!" She called as she, her boyfriend, and mystery man walked toward the store.

I ran to catch up."Sorry"

"Are you okay?" Addie whispered to me.

"Uh.... do you want an actual answer or a fake one?" I ask seriously.

"Gimme...... actual."

"Well... I'm dying on the inside and I want to shoot myself."

"Why is that baby?" She said back curiously.

"IS HE A GOD WITH THE POWER TO MAKE EVERYONE, EVEN SOMEONE WHO NEVER WANTS TO DATE ANYONE EVER AGAIN AND IS AFRAID TO DEATH TO LOVE SOMEONE, LOVE HIM?!?!? LIKE OH MY LORD."

I suddenly wanted to die even more. I had just practically yelled that at the top of my lungs and hadn't even thought about who would hear me. I quickly looked around for mystery man and didn't see him in sight.

"Oh, well OKAY! I'm really happy that's how you feel!" She said while jumping up and down.

"Um... Addie..."

"Yes, sweetie?"

"I don't even know his name."

"GO ASK HIM NOW!"

"YOU KNOW I CAN"T TALK TO STRANGERS!!"

"JUST DO IT OR I WILL DISOWN YOU!"

"Fine."

I sheepishly walked into the mall and Addie was skipping in front of me.

"What's wrong?" Mystery man asked me.

"Uhhh.... I..... uhhhh *Insert tina belcher groan here*"

"Well... um...okay?" He said. "I never did get your name."

"Clara. I-I-I mean Calla." I stuttered while plastering a fake smile on my face.

"Zebulon, Nice to meet you" he said as he stuck out his hand.

I sheepishly took it and shook it lightly.

"Calla... I've never heard that one before." he said while in deep thought.

"Yeah.... My parents..." I said while almost crying. "Named me after my great grandma."

"Well, it's beautiful," He said while looking into my blurred eyes.

A tear streamed down my face... and then many more.

"Hey! What's wrong?" he said while taking a step towards me. I never did realize how much taller he was than me until now. He stood at least a foot taller than me which... really intimidated me. He started to open up his arms until they gobbled me up. I tried to resist but failed horribly. I gave up and just literally fell into his arms. They felt so nice...

Stop it Calla. You know what will happen. The same thing that happened last time... and the time before that... and the time before that. They always leave. No matter how much they promise they won't... they always do.

"OOOOOOHHHHH get it Calla!" Addie screamed.

I finally got the strength and gently pushed him away from me. When I looked up after he let go he looked longingly into my eyes. Almost like he wanted more. I quickly looked down at the ground and rubbed the tears off my face and said thank you very quietly.

"You're most welcome" he said with a smile on his face.

Addie ran over to me and jerked my arm as she pulled me over to the side.

"Why'd you stop it?!" she whispered very loudly.

"I-I... I can't be hurt again. The same thing that happened last time will happen again. I'm already in enough pain as it is. I don't need more" I said a little bit louder than I had anticipated.

Zebulon looked at me with a saddened expression and then quickly looked away.

Nice going, Calla. You messed it up... again. Maybe if you weren't such a mess they wouldn't have left you to begin with. You're just a screw up. Why'd you even come? You knew something bad was going to happen.

"I know that look. Stop it. You're fine! You are not a screw up" Addie said while holding my face.

"I just..." I mumbled.

"You just what?"

"I screwed it up... again" I said. A tear streamed down my face.

She quickly wiped it away and looked directly into my eyes. "You didn't mess up sweetie, now let's take a few deep breathes and go have some fun!"

*inhales deeply and exhales deeply*

Let's do this.