[Nico]   -    Three

Nico clearly could remember the day he had a name for his fears. His deepest fears that made his nearly have a panic attack when Leo said, "I love you."

Silently, Nico quickly got trapped in those memories.

"Hello again Nico." Olivia greeted, her dyed lilac hair greeting him as he walked through the door.

Nico remained silent. Waving mutely at the therapist.

"I understand you don't want to talk." She started, letting Nico sit down on a cot.

It was cold, and barren. Like nothing had ever set a hand on it.

"So," she paused, grabbing a pen and notebook. "We're gonna write!" She exclaimed, as if it was the answer to every question in the universe.

Nico gave her a glance, making no sound as he gently took the pen and notebook from Olivia.

"What do you wanna write about today, Nico?" Olivia questioned, seeing that he had taken the utensils.

Nico gave a soft sigh, his black bangs falling into his face as he looked at the notebook.

All the pages were a blinding white. No smudges on them.

He had set the clean notebook in his lap. His fingers itching to write something.

He wasn't sure why, but it felt like he had to.

Shakily, Nico placed his pen to the paper.

F E A R S

The son of Hades wrote, in big, bold letters. The top of the page now serving as a title place.

A small smile graced both lips as Nico began writing again.

1 - Abandonment

He wrote in neat handwriting. Staring at the word for a moment. Checking his spelling, and then thinking back to it.

Bianca abandoned him. And she had died soon after.

He couldn't deal with that pan again.

2 - Loss of Family

Nico scribbled down, not nearly as neat as the first word. His eyes looked over it again.

Bianca had abandoned him.

But she died. And he lost her.

He remembered that pain so vividly, and hated that feeling with such a passion! He never wanted to loose another member of his family again.

Blood related or not.

3 - I love you

Without a second thought, he wrote down 2 more things. All following a certain category.

4 - Dating

5 - Sex

As soon as he felt finished, he handed it over to Olivia.

Her eyes read over the list, and she frowned.

"These last 3 fears. They're all connected." She stated, Nico nodded.

The room was silent.

"Nico." She said, "Are you afraid of love?" She questioned him gently.

"I don't know." He said, finally speaking. Tears staring to sting his eyes.

Olivia, who noticed his misty eyes, spoke softly to him.

"It's okay." She whispered.

"Love is scary. Whenever I love someone, t-they're out in danger. And, they either die." He choked a sob, "Or leave me." He finished.

Olivia stroked his arm, "Its okay." She whispered again.

"What you have, I believe, is called Philophobia." She stated, her arms pulling him into a soft hug.

Nico buried his face into her shoulder, his arms tensing.

"You can experience shallow breathing, restlessness, rapid heart beats, hard times opening up to people, and, at worse, panicky or anxiety attacks." She quickly informed him.

Nico nodded, his body still tense.

A few more tears ran down his face, before he pulled away from her grip.

"Is there anyway to get rid of it? I don't want to loose anyone." Nico asked her.

Olivia gave him a sympathetic smile.

"Only the way you conquer all fears. Patience." She answered.

The session was done for now, but they had made serious progress.

Pulled from his thoughts, Nico let out a shaky breath. Leo slept soundly besides him. His breaths even and rhythmic as his arms lay limp around Nico's waist.

His whole body was ridged now. And his thoughts were paused.

All he could feel was panic, and a feeling of having to throw up as Leo (deeply sleeping) cuddled him tighter.

"Mhm." He moaned, his head in Nico's lap.

Nico started to hyperventilate. His mind starting to work again. Racing at new speeds.

His hands started to tremble, and his thoughts coming to every possibility this one cuddle would bring.

He wasn't ready for this.

No.

Let go!

Help.

"Leo." Nico whimpered, right before giving in.

Nico was having a panic attack.

A/n:

I did some research. So I'm pretty sure this information is accurate. But people experience everything different.
Update: it's now 4 years later and I have been diagnosed with Generalized Panic Disorder and frequently suffer panic attacks.. oops?
Bye!

- Bridget, who was been watching Voltron nearly all day and has only made it to season 2.