December 2015

The sunshine outside gave Callie a false sense of warmth. She wished she had pulled on a sweater before leaving the house. A shiver went through her body as the cool December air blew up from the beach. She wrapped her arms around herself, trying to keep warm, but it was a pointless effort.

Her eyes were heavy with sleep and no amount of coffee could wake them up. The previous evening had spilled over into the early hours of that morning and she hadn't yet gone to sleep. Going to sleep would have made it real. Waking up would have meant that time had passed and it was still real.

Her phone vibrated in her pocket and she ignored it. She didn't feel like talking to anyone at the moment. Her mind was already too full and the thought of adding anything else made her headache worse.

Across the street, the Whitacre's nanny had pulled up. She waved at Callie as she collected her things from the back seat of her beat up Toyota. Callie gave her a polite nod and leaned against the whitewashed fence. She moved out of the way of two surfers in body suits carrying surf boards. Their sun-bleached hair bounced as they jogged toward the beach.

Her phone rang again, and she ignored it again. Whomever it was could wait. Instead, she turned toward the beach and walked up the road. The sun warmed her as she walked down the hill and the sound of crashing waves made her heart slow. A soft breeze played with the curls that had come loose from the bun on top of her head. She walked across the concrete sidewalk and stepped into the sand.

After walking for a little while, she sat down and pulled her knees up the her chest in an effort to keep some heat in. She watched the surfers as they paddled out into the ocean, trying to catch a few decent waves. The beach filled around her as the day picked up pace. Tourists arrived for early morning surfing and to snag a good spot for a day at the beach. She lost all track of time.

"Callie?" a voice said nearby. She looked up and saw Shannon standing next to her, hands in his pockets. "Are you okay?" he asked.

"Shannon? What are you doing here?" she asked, shivering.

"You're freezing. Here," he slid his leather jacket off and put it around her shoulders before sitting down next to her in the sand.

"Why are you here?" Callie asked, pulling the jacket around her. It still held his body heat and the wind sent the smell of cigarettes and his cologne.

"I thought I was going with you down to your dad's for Christmas? I called you like ten times," he said. "Why didn't you answer?"

"I've been here," she said.

"For a well-planned day at the beach," he quipped, gesturing at her appearance. "How long have you been out here? I think your feet are turning blue."

"I don't know," she said softly, looking back to the water. He was right though; she'd lost all feeling in her feet a while ago, despite her UGG house shoes.

"Why are you out here?" he asked, rubbing his own hands together for warmth.

"I needed some time to myself," she answered.

"Cal - come on. Let's go inside," he said. "Let's get warmed up and then we can talk, okay?"

"We broke up," she said softly.

"What?" he asked.

"Matthew. We broke up last night. Or maybe this morning. I'm not sure," she sniffled. She wasn't sure if she was really crying or if her nose was just running from the wind.

Shannon was silent for several seconds. "I'm sorry to hear that," he said. "Are you okay?"

She shrugged. She didn't really have an answer.

"Let's go inside," he repeated.

"No. I'd rather stay here. Its nicer," she said, wrapping her arm through his.

So they sat there for a while longer, watching as the waves crashed and the beach sprang to life around them. Eventually, however, Callie felt the effects of the cold and Shannon needed to help her back to the house. Once they had effectively warmed up, Shannon was waiting in the kitchen while Callie packed. Trio was gnawing happily on a bone near his feet while Shannon sipped coffee. The house was empty, with Aya back in Ireland to visit his family for Christmas.

"Did Aya say when he was going to be back?" he called through the house.

"We pick up filming again on the 6th, so I'm assuming by then," Callie called back, her voice muffled from her bedroom.

"He took the girlfriend with him, huh?" Shannon asked.

Callie sighed as she stood in front of her closet. The idea of Aya taking Tessa to Ireland to meet his parents made her laugh. Aya still couldn't see how wrong the model was for him, but it wasn't really Callie's place to tell him. Since he began seeing her, their relationship had changed and he spent more of his free time flying back and forth between New York City and Los Angeles.

"Yeah, I guess. It was inevitable," she answered.

"Must be serious, then," Shannon said.

Callie chose not to respond. At the moment, her focus was on getting through the holidays. She was still in shock and the conversation from the night beforehand kept running in her mind.

I just don't think you and I are on the same wavelength anymore, Callie, Matt had said. I don't think we're a good match anymore.

On one hand, he had a point; they weren't really a match from the beginning and it had been glaringly obvious. He went in different circles than she did. He had a career that was focused on television and he was more interested in independent pieces while she was poised to move into the mainstream. He was the type of guy who was quirky and odd on purpose and she did everything she could to try to fit in with whomever she was with. She enjoyed the Hollywood lifestyle and he preferred to stay at home with a hot mug of tea and a book of Robert Frost poems.

They had agreed to stay friends, but that was as likely as Aya turning Protestant. Even though she knew they were better off apart, it still didn't take away the sting.

"Doing alright in here?" Shannon asked, leaning on the door frame. Trio trotted in and jumped on the bed. "Need any help?"

"I'm almost done," she said, shoving a pair of plaid pajama bottoms into her small suitcase. She zipped it shut - or tried.

"Sit on it," Shannon suggested, walking over. He helped her balance on the bag as he ran the zip around the edge. It shut easily. "Old tour trick. For a while, we only got one carry-on sized bag each for a three month stretch. It was brutal. We had to get creative."

"Thanks," she smiled. "I'm ready to go. The dog's all packed. We can start to load up."

Callie helped Shannon carry her things out to the car. Once Trio was loaded up into the back seat, Shannon started the drive down to Coronado. He tried his best to brighten the mood, but very little helped.

"Isn't Belle supposed to be there?" he asked hopefully.

"Yeah. With her boyfriend," she replied.

The idea of Belle with her boyfriend only made the absence of Callie's boyfriend hurt even more. Spending the next two weeks with her perfect sister and her perfect boyfriend was not her idea of fun.

"Have I met him?" Shannon asked. He took a sharp turn, causing Trio to slide across the back seat. "Sorry, dude."

"Probably not. He wasn't in Greece," she replied.

"Oh," he said, properly stunted.

They drove in silence for half an hour before he cranked on the stereo. Styx blared through the speakers, but Callie ignored it. She put her headphones in and closed her eyes. Either Shannon got the hint and turned the music off or she was so exhausted she didn't care, but she was asleep within minutes. She awoke to Shannon nudging her knee gently.

"Hey...we're here," he said softly.

Callie groaned and stretched her arms over her head. Trio shoved his head between the front seats and licked her face in excitement. She cursed and pushed him back, rubbing her face with a sigh. She looked out the driver's side window and glared at the house. In the early afternoon light, she couldn't make out the lights, but she knew they'd be running along the gutters of the house.

Her father had decorated the house the same way each year for as long as they had lived in it. The lights were always multicolored. Every window facing the street would have a wreath on the outside and a fake candle glowing on the window sill. The driveway would be lined with little lanterns with LED candles in them and the small cypress topiaries would be wrapped in crisp white lights. It would have made Norman Rockwell tear up in pride.

She sighed again and opened the car door. The cold air hit her with a jolt and she gasped, cursed, and flung the back door open to grab Trio.

"Go inside. I'll get your stuff," Shannon said, opening the other back door.

Callie took Trio's leash and walked slowly up the driveway to the back gate. Trio was pulling on his leash excitedly and dashed off the instant she disconnected his leash and closed the gate behind her. She could hear Shannon locking his SUV and heading up the front steps. With Trio racing around the back yard, she opened the back door and kicked her shoes off on the patio before heading inside.

The kitchen was warm and the house was filled with the smell of gingerbread cooking. Later on, they'd decorate cookies like they had every single year that she could remember. The Christmas tree stood in a corner next to the fireplace in all its twelve-foot glory. Ornaments and lights glittered and a few presents had already made their way under the lowest branches, wrapped in festive paper.

A garland of pine needles was strung across the bridge and the wooden column had been wrapped with red plaid ribbons, complete with large bows at the center. Stockings were hanging along the staircase railing, each one with the owner's initials. Callie winced when she saw Matt's M next to her C. She walked over, passing Shannon in the foyer, and yanked it off the railing. Shannon stood back as the clips holding in place flew across the tile floor.

"That's one way to handle it," he said under his breath.

"Callais? Est-ce vous?" Mamie called from her bedroom. She appeared in the doorway to her wing of the house. "Content de te voir!" Callie allowed the older woman to hug her as she greeted her. "Où est Matthew?"

The question she'd been dreading the entire drive down. For Shannon's benefit, she replied in English. "We broke up, Mamie. He's not here."

The older woman's face fell. "Oh. Je suis désolé d'entendre ça. Bonjour Shannon," she said, turning to him.

"Bonjour, Mamie," he replied with a smile, kissing her on her cheek. "Its good to see you! Merry Christmas!"

"Mamie, remember. Shannon doesn't speak French," Callie said with a tired sigh. "English, please."

"Oh I don't mind. Its okay," he assured the older woman.

Just then Ben came down the staircase with several wrapped boxes in his arms. "Hey Cal. How was the drive?" He looked at Shannon and then back at Callie. "No Matt?"

Callie sighed and walked past him. "Am I in Jonny's room?" she asked.

"Ah no. That's for Belle and Kier. You've got Avril's room," her father told her. "Shannon, you're in the study upstairs."

Shannon took his bag and Callie's and followed her up the stairs. Callie made her way to Avril's bedroom and shut the door, oblivious to Shannon behind her.

It was going to be a long day, telling every single person what happened with Matt and why he wasn't with her. She slumped onto the blow up mattress in the middle of the floor. Despite her best attempts, her father insisted that she and Matt sleep in separate rooms. Not that it mattered now. A knock at the door drew her attention.

"What?" she snapped.

"Just dropping off your bag," he explained. He paused before turning to leave. "It'll get easier, you know."

Callie sighed and closed her eyes against the tears she could feel filling them. "I know. It just sucks that I'm going to have to repeat myself with every person here."

"So don't. Let them wonder. You don't owe them an explanation," he said with a shrug.

She sat up as he was getting ready to leave. "Thank you. For bringing my bag up."

He nodded and closed the door behind him. Callie rolled over and closed her eyes, hoping to take advantage of the rare silence before the chaos began.

* * *

The days leading up to Christmas were filled with family traditions. Though she missed the annual tree decorating, Callie had arrived just in time to build her usual gingerbread house. Belle and her boyfriend Kier arrived the night after Callie and soon the house was full of bodies and excitement.

Though she'd never met Kier in person before, Callie had spoken to him over video chat and he seemed nice. Tall and olive-skinned with curly brown hair and slight stubble on his face, Kier Rutger was handsome and chiseled. He was exactly the kind of guy she'd have picked for her sister. He came from an affluent family with houses in Belgravia, a penthouse on 5th Avenue on the Upper East Side in New York City, and a condo in Monte Carlo, he was Harvard educated, and he had a well-paying job at an American law firm in Paris on the fast-track to becoming partner in five years' time. And he looked fantastic in a suit. For her image and status-conscious sister, he was perfect.

It was Christmas Eve when it happened. The family was gathered around the dining room table, cramped in along the sides, when Kier stood up, wine glass in hand. The chatter in the room died down and everyone focused on him.

"I want to start by thanking you, Mr. Morrison, oo having me in your home," he tilted his glass t her father at the head of the table. "It means a lot to me that you have allowed me to spend the holidays with your family and share in your traditions. I can see why Belle is such a wonderful person."

Belle beamed up at Kier, taking his hand. Callie had to look down at her plate to control the emotions bubbling inside her. Kier turned toward Belle, got down on one knee, and pulled a small box from his jacket pocket. A collective gasp filled the room as everyone craned their necks to see over the table.

"Belle Margeaux Morrison, I have one thing to say before I ask you a very important question," Kier said. "I want you to know that I consider myself exceptionally lucky to have you in my life. It has been the honor of a lifetime to get to know you and fall in love with you."

Belle had started crying as she listened to him.

"Belle, my life would be empty without you in it," Kier continued. "Would you make me the happiest man in the world and become my wife?"

Belle barely let him finish before she agreed, nodding her head quickly as she held out her hand for the ring. The table burst into cheers and clapping.

For Callie, though, the celebration was short-lived. She was filled with the urge to burst into tears at the reminder of her breakup. As those around her celebrated, her heart sank. She felt a hand on her knee and looked down to see the familiar tattoo on the inside of Shannon's forearm. It was peeking out under the cuff of his pushed-up sleeves. Her heart slowed and the rushing in her ears quieted.

Belle was beaming as she showed off the ring to their sisters. Already, Mamie was ticking off things that needed to happen to plan the wedding. Ben was congratulating Kier. No one but Shannon saw Callie get up and walk out of the room.

She rushed outside to the back yard, relieved to feel the cool air on her clammy skin. The grass was cold and damp under her bare feet and goosebumps had risen on her bare arms. Her ears were ringing and her chest was tight. She wasn't aware of how fast she'd been breathing until she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"Cal?" Once again it was Shannon coming to her rescue. "You okay?"

Callie brought her hands to cover her face, trying to slow her breathing. "Of course this had to happen now," she groaned. "The universe can't let me have a fucking break!"

He let her settle her head against his chest, wrapping his arms around her. She inhaled deeply, the scent of cigarettes and Irish Spring calming her nerves. They stood like that for several seconds as her breathing slowed. The sound of the wind rustling the leaves and Shannon's heartbeat under his sweater drowned out the rushing in her ears and when she opened her eyes again, the world had stopped spinning.

He looked down at her as she pulled back. Without realizing it, Callie's lips drifted to Shannon's and she kissed him. For the briefest of moments, she let her mouth linger on his. He inhaled sharply, but didn't pull away.

What are you doing, you idiot?! Callie screamed to herself. You just broke up with Matthew! Shannon is not a rebound - he's your friend!

Callie pulled away abruptly. "I'm so sorry," she whispered. "That was...really not appropriate."

"It's fine," he answered, looking over his shoulder toward the house. He dropped his arms to his sides, avoiding her gaze. "We should get back inside."

She doubted anyone even knew she was missing, but the awkwardness between the two of them was growing by the second. "Yeah. You're right," she said, walking ahead of him into the kitchen.

Christmas morning came too soon. The magic of waking up with the sun and rushing downstairs to the presents under the tree had gone years ago, but there was still an air of excitement in the house as each person woke up and made their way down to the kitchen for their annual waffle breakfast.

Shannon pulled Callie aside as she put her plate in the sink. "Come with me," he said.

"We're just about to open presents - can't it wait?" she asked, slightly embarrassed from the night beforehand.

"No. It can't. Come on," he insisted, jerking his head toward the front door.

She followed him out onto the front porch. He turned to face her, a small box in his hand. "It's not wrapped - I didn't have time."

She took it from him, turning it over in her hands. "You didn't have to get my anything - I mean I don't have anything for you."

He shrugged. "Its fine. I don't need anything." He pushed the box closer to her. "Open it."

Callie sighed and pulled the red ribbon off. She lifted the lid and found a small stone with a date engraved in it. She looked at him in confusion.

"Its from that riverbed we stopped at on our ride down the coast," he explained. "I had it engraved with the date we were there."

She took it out of the box and looked at it in the morning light. Flecks of quartz glittered along the engraving, catching the light brightly. It was simple, but still beautiful.

"Its not much," he said quickly. "If you don't like it, its OK."

She smiled. "No. I do. Its just...unexpected." Callie turned it over in her hand. "I really do like it. Thank you, Shan."

She wrapped her arms around him, feeling happy for the first time in days.