May 02, 2016

The first place Atticus went Monday morning was into Chris's office. He stormed in, slamming the door shut behind him.

"Something wrong, Atticus?" Chris asked without looking up from his computer.

"He has a boyfriend," Atticus complained, sitting on the chair across from Chris's desk.

Confused, Chris looked up at Atticus with his eyebrows raised. "And you're mad why?"

Atticus shrugged, scratching at his right arm. He picked up the nervous habit years earlier without noticing. Every time Chris saw Atticus move his left hand towards his forearm, he had the urge to grip his best friend's wrist and flip it over. Atticus shifted in his seat, aware of the tension building up on Chris's face.

"Do you like this guy or something?"

"No," Atticus said, immediately shooting down the possibility. "I've met his boyfriend. He's a total jackass."

"And you're not?" Chris asked with a cock of his head. "What're you gonna do about it?"

"Nothing. It's none of my business."

"Maybe you should say something," Chris suggested anyway.

"I barely know him," Atticus argued. "It isn't my place to tell him to dump his boyfriend."

Chris sighed. "Why are you so pissed off if you don't even care?"

Atticus bit his lip, glaring angrily at the floor.

"I think you do care," Chris whispered.

"I don't," Atticus snapped.

Chris frowned, and Atticus looked away, a sneer on his face. Talking to Atticus was like talking to a wall. He was extremely stubborn and wouldn't budge no matter what was said to him.

Atticus sat curled up on the chair as Chris worked. He had been angry all of Sunday, refusing to get out of bed. The blood-stained knife still sat on the bedroom floor.

Atticus finally left Chris when he heard his own office phone ring next door. He knew it was Mister Hendricks calling to make adjustments to the will and make another appointment. He tried not to be a bitch on the phone, but he couldn't adjust his personality. Mister Hendricks said to keep his sister as his children's guardian, and Atticus somehow managed to keep the "I told you so" in.

He hung up the phone with a slam and let out a bitter sigh. He collapsed on his chair and ignored the work piled up on his desk. He didn't care about it right then and there.

His office door swung open two hours later, and he couldn't be bothered to look up to see Chris standing in the doorway.

"Atticus, have you done anything since you left my office?" Chris asked, snapping his fingers in front of the estate lawyer's face. "Hey, Ace, c'mon."

"I answered the phone," Atticus said, eyes still staring off at nothing. "And I read that thing. You know, that book thing you asked about the other day?" He spun his chair from side to side and looked over at Chris. "I need you to print and sign that other thing. One eight four nine, I think? I emailed it to you."

Chris's eyes widened a bit. He set his hands on Atticus's desk and leaned forward. "Are you drunk?"

Atticus halted and flicked his green eyes up to meet the accusatory gray ones. "No, Christopher, I am not drunk. I wish, though. I think you just figured out my evening plans."

"Are you sure you don't have a crush on this boy already, then?" Chris asked. "It's okay, you know. If you do. Because you're acting like you're wasted on something."

"I've only known him for a few days. I can't. He's just my friend, okay? Barely that, even."

"You don't have to get defensive," Chris said. "I just think that—"

"No, Chris, I don't like him," Atticus said. "It's nothing."

"Then prove it to me."

"What?"

"You're not allowed to talk to him for the rest of the week. Or about him."

"Deal," Atticus scoffed. "I can do that."

They shook on it, and Chris smirked. "You also have to let me come over for a Bloody Mary tonight."

May 05, 2016

By the time Thursday rolled around, Atticus couldn't take it anymore. He missed someone talking to him that wasn't Chris, Zoey, or the uneasy Sally. He wanted Jake back, but he couldn't let Chris win. He figured that Jake was busy with his boyfriend, anyway. But he couldn't help but wonder if the younger boy missed him, too. Or cared.

Atticus was distracted all day with thoughts of him. Chris had a hidden smile on his face every time he saw Atticus, but the estate attorney didn't notice. He was too busy thinking about his pretty neighbor. Chestnut hair, big honey eyes, pretty pink lips— everything Atticus could ask for if he was looking for a boyfriend. But he'd never been with a boy before that caught his attention. He couldn't admit to himself that he thought about being with Jake. He didn't know what he was thinking.

The only downside to Chris's plan was that Atticus was much more irritable than usual. He bitched at Sally all morning, but she was used to putting up with him by then. Zoey, on the other hand, knew how to bitch back. That never failed to make Chris laugh and Atticus scowl and leave.

While Atticus was out, Chris reversed the lock on the estate lawyer's office door. When he came back, Chris flipped the lock so the girls wouldn't have to deal with Atticus's attitude anymore.

"Chris? What the hell? Open the door!" Atticus yelled, smacking on the wood. "Come on you bitch, open it up!"

He could hear Chris laughing on the other side, and it just flustered him even more.

"I'm not unlocking the door," Chris said. "You're in time-out."

Zoey cackled, and Atticus felt a growl in his throat.

"Don't laugh at me. Seriously, Zoey, I have your paycheck," Atticus said, hitting the door to get her attention. It effectively shut her up. "Chris, what're you talking about?"

"This is what you get for being cruel to Sally," Chris said. "Now, go sit in your chair and fantasize about your boyfriend."

"He's not my boyfriend!" Atticus shouted, smacking the door one last time for emphasis before collapsing on his chair.

Atticus was angry and irritated, and even though he didn't like Chris having power over him, he was glad he was locked away from all of them.

He found himself getting on his computer and stalking Jake's Instagram. It wasn't really stalking, in his legal opinion; after all, the account was public, they followed each other, and he never looked at it before. He scrolled through Jake's pictures, biting down on his lip. Jake was an amazing photographer, and he looked beyond perfect in every picture. Atticus felt guilty about the whole thing, honestly. Jake had a boyfriend. He was twenty. Atticus would have felt horrible even if Jake was the older one. If they were the same age. Atticus was just a lonely lawyer. He was twenty-eight. The whole thing felt wrong to him, but the man was so beautiful, and Atticus couldn't tear his eyes away.

But as soon as he saw a picture of Jake and Nick together, he shut the computer off. It pissed him off in more ways than one. He kicked the wheel of his chair to vent his frustration. Nick didn't deserve someone so pretty and sweet and courteous about everything and everyone. Atticus knew that he didn't deserve Jake, either, but he didn't want him. He didn't have a crush on him. They were barely friends.

He sat in his chair as half an hour ticked by, anger welling up. He didn't understand what his anger was about. He heard his door unlock, and Chris walked in.

"Hey, Atticus. I'm sorry, but that was necessary. You needed some time to yourself," Chris said. "Anyway, do you have that file on—?"

"He can't call me pretty one day and then flaunt a boyfriend to me the next day!" Atticus yelled, pushing back from his desk.

"So that's what all of this was about?" Chris asked, referencing Atticus's anger.

Atticus crossed his arms and bit his lip.

"I thought you didn't like him," Chris taunted.

"I don't," Atticus argued.

"I thought you weren't going to talk about him the rest of the week."

Atticus pouted. He had never been so flustered before. He didn't want to like Jake. He didn't want to be jealous. He wished they had never met. The confusion only added to his misery, and he didn't know what to do.

"You never told me he was flirting with you," Chris said, sitting on one of the cushioned arm chairs in front of Atticus's desk. "You miss the attention?"

Atticus shrugged. "Not really. I'm used to not having any. It's just. . . Why's he flirting with me if he has a boyfriend? I mean, why me? I'm not anything."

Chris ignored Atticus's self-deprecation. "You said you don't think his boyfriend is good to him. Maybe he's not happy and wants to be with you."

"Yeah, right," Atticus scoffed, rolling his eyes. "I don't want to talk about this."

"But Atticus—"

"No. I'm not doing this. I just want to forget about him, okay?"

Chris pursed his lips and sighed, but he didn't want to argue with the other lawyer. He knew Atticus was giving up too soon. He was pushing more self-pity onto himself.

"Okay," Chris agreed. "But what if he doesn't want to give up on you?"

"He will," Atticus said with a scoff.

Chris frowned. "Atticus."

"You know I'm right," Atticus whispered. "You're only here because you're stuck with me."

"I like being stuck with you."

Atticus glared.

"You're my best friend. I just want you to be happy."

"I'll be happy when everyone's off my back about this."

Atticus was even angrier and completely fed up. He took his laptop and briefcase and stormed out of his office, leaving Chris behind. Sally and Zoey were startled by the front door slamming. They went into Atticus's office, where Chris was too shocked to move, staring at the chair the estate attorney was sitting in, only now kicked across the room.

*****

When Atticus got done sulking around his house for the evening, he took a shower, the water stinging the cuts on his right wrist. When he got out, it was after seven, so he changed into a hoodie and joggers, hoping to go to bed after doing the laundry. He took the full basket from beside his closet and went downstairs. He glanced out the window and stopped in his tracks, dropping the basket to the floor. He pulled on his Converse and went outside.

Jake was waiting for him, leaning back on the fence. He smiled when he saw the lawyer, but it quickly dropped.

It was windy, so Atticus crossed his arms over his chest. His blond hair was still slightly wet, and the water was dripping onto his ears, making the wind feel even colder.

"You've been avoiding me," Jake said, hand going on his hip.

"I have not," Atticus said, staring at the ground.

"Then why can't you look at me?"

"The grass is interesting."

"I'm more interesting."

Atticus sighed and looked up. Jake was frowning, and his big brown eyes almost looked sad.

"You can just say you don't like me," Jake whispered.

But Atticus couldn't do it. He did like the younger man. He liked him too much. Jake was too good, in his opinion. His clothes were tight and showed off every curve of his legs and muscle of his arms. His lips were pink and pouty, and Atticus wanted to kiss them. His eyes were soft and his voice was sweet. His hair was dark and looked silky enough for Atticus to run his fingers through. His hip bones were sharp and prominent, and Atticus wanted to grab ahold and pull him close. Atticus bit his tongue to keep from licking his lips. Jake's lips pursed, and his eyes looked confused.

"You're not saying anything."

Atticus shook his head. "I do like you."

"Then you just don't want me around?"

Atticus didn't say anything. Jake had a hurt expression on his face.

"I'll go then," Jake whispered, turning to jump back over the fence.

Atticus huffed out a breath and rubbed his temple with the heel of his hand. "Don't."

Jake stopped in his tracks and spun around. He felt like Atticus just slapped him in the face.

"I didn't mean to ignore you," the lawyer muttered, pushing up his glasses. "We don't have to talk every day, you know."

"I know," Jake said, casting his eyes down. "I just like being around you."

That made Atticus take a step back. His heart was pounding, and he didn't like it. Jake just took a step forward.

"What's wrong?"

"N-Nothing."

"Are you afraid of me or something? Why do you keep doing that?"

"I'm not doing anything."

"No. Seriously, Atty, are you okay?"

Atticus couldn't lift his eyes to look at Jake, and the latter missed looking into his pretty green irises.

"I came over here so I could see your perfect green eyes, you know."

"You can't do that," Atticus said, perfect green eyes snapping back up and darkening.

"Do what?" Jake asked, innocence written all over him.

"Say things like that. You can't flirt with me if you have a boyfriend. Why would you ever want to flirt with me, anyway? There has to be something wrong with those pretty eyes of yours if you see anything attractive about me."

"I flirt with you because you get all flustered. It's cute. And, I don't know, you're pretty." Jake sighed. He stared at Atticus's hand, mind filled with how much he wanted to hold it. "Maybe I think you deserve to have someone tell you that you're beautiful. I'm not going to deny that just because I have a boyfriend. I think you're gorgeous, okay? That's it. It doesn't have to be any more than that. I'm sorry I said anything."

Atticus didn't know what to say. He wondered if Jake would leave Nick for him if they carried on. No, of course he wouldn't. You're pathetic. Atticus didn't need a boyfriend or anything with strings attached. He didn't want someone to hold him back from what he really wanted.

"You should go inside," Jake whispered. "You look cold."

Jake turned around to walk away, and he didn't think Atticus wanted anything to do with him, especially since he was letting him go. He felt something break slightly in his chest, and he wanted to throw up. He was a nervous wreck about confronting Atticus like that, and his silent reaction didn't make him feel any better. Atticus could hold so much violence in his eyes that Jake felt the need to second guess everything.

"Jacob?" Atticus called out timidly. He felt his chest stir, and he mumbled a curse to himself.

Jake looked over his shoulder.

"If you like me so much, I'm not working on Sunday."

Everything about Jake's face lit up. The side of Atticus's lips pulled up into a smile.

"Of course I do" Jake said. He'd been ignoring the vibration of his phone in his pocket. "See you Sunday, Atty."

"Bye, Jake."

They turned around and went in their separate directions. Atticus to go right to bed, ignoring the laundry he was originally going to do, and Jake to go call back his boyfriend and say that he actually is busy that weekend.