Trigger Warning: This chapter contains gory scenes, suicide, a lot of mentions of blood and enough mentions of vomit to make me (usually fine with vomit) feel a bit queasy. 

*Shoto's POV*

I stormed out of Izuku's room and into my own. I knew that he was under stress and that he had just been rescued from a kidnapping situation. I knew this, yet I couldn't help but be mad. Was I not allowed to help my boyfriend? We had been doing fine. We had shared our first kiss the week before. We had been doing fine. He just suddenly got really pissy and started shouting at me about his independence and not needing help. Everybody knows he wouldn't have been able to get up those stairs safely on his own. Suddenly I  was the bad guy for caring about my boyfriend's health. All of these thoughts and more rushed through my head as I paced the floor of my room. I felt sorry for whoever was below me. It was just really getting to me that I had been nothing but the best I could be for Izu and he repaid me by shouting at me. I couldn't think straight. I needed to vent to someone.

I walked straight into Katsuki's room without even knocking. I know it was rude of me, but I couldn't find it within myself to care at the time. "What the fuck, Shoto!" Katsuki yelled from his place at his desk. He looked up from his laptop where he was watching a film. As soon as he saw the angry look on my face, Katsuki's expression transformed from angry and annoyed to worried. "Woah, dude, why do you look so pissed?" Katsuki asked, standing from his desk and placing a placating hand on my shoulder. I looked up into Katsuki face. His scrunched eyebrows, drawn together in thinly veiled concern. The permanent downwards turn of his mouth. The constant angry spark in his eyes. Both of these were dulled slightly. "Izuku and I had an argument," I whispered brokenly. Katsuki assessed me for a second before sitting me down on his bed and gesturing for me to elaborate. "He just started shouting at me for carrying him up the stairs. I was helping him. I just don't understand." I sobbed into my hands. The dam had broken and tears began to drip from my eyes. "He wants his independence, which I understand, but it would have taken an eternity for him to bring himself upstairs. I wasn't going to let him sleep on the sofa." I ranted in a choked voice. Katsuki listened as he squeezed my shoulder. My cries were the only noise in the otherwise silent room. 

Katsuki was silent, simply listening to my cries, for roughly five minutes. In this time, I managed to cry myself out and simply drew in laboured breaths from time to time. "The way I see it, you're both in the wrong," Katsuki commented quietly. I looked up at him in confusion, prompting him to explain. "You should give Izu a bit of leniency, given the situation he was just in. Izuku has always been an independent person when it comes to things like his injuries and stuff like that. Doesn't want to bother anyone or some other sentimental shit. You've been dating for a few months, you know how he is, you just need to give him a little bit of space and ask him before doing things for him. On the other hand, Izu didn't need to shout at you. Sure he's under pressure but he's a very rational and calm person. He knows that you're just trying to help you. What you're going to do is go to your room, go to sleep and then tomorrow morning you're going to knock on Izu's door and apologise, got it?" Katsuki said with a scowl. I nodded my head and wiped away the few stray tears on my face with a shaky hand. "Ok, thank you, Kat." I whispered as I stood up from the bed. Katsuki tuts and pats my head (despite the fact that I was taller than him). I waved goodbye to him before leaving the room and entering my Japanese style room. I laid back on my bed and stared up at my ceiling, knowing the next day I was gonna talk to Izu.

*Izuku's POV*

When Shoto left, I immediately started crying. I couldn't even put on my PJs because my sight was too blurred with my tears. I clumsily hoisted myself onto my bed and rolled over, shoving my nose into the nearest pillow which inexplicably smelled like my boyfriend. My perfect, lovely, sweet, handsome and amazing boyfriend. The guilt which I felt after Shoto stormed from the room was immeasurable. I hadn't meant to get so angry at him. Everything had just been piling up on me for the past week. I had been left alone with my brain for too long, nothing to distract me. Having Shoto practically strip me of my independence had been the stray spark which set me aflame. I promised myself, as my eyes closed and I began to drift, that I would apologise to Shoto the next day. I couldn't afford to lose him. I loved him too much. 

As was the norm ever since I had been rescued my sleep was fitful and full of horrific images. Memories blurred past me at light speed, though I could feel every bit of pain which was inflicted on me in those blurred memories. It was horrid. When the memories finally stopped swarming me, I was left alone. My surroundings were black and empty. I was nowhere.

It remained like that for a while, you'd think that seeing, feeling and hearing nothing would be a respite. A time in which I could relax. But that was impossible. Nobody just relaxes when they're left alone with their own minds. My mind was swarmed with questions, scenarios and replayed conflicts. Even if I was dreaming, I was still being held prisoner by my own body. The cruellest of punishments. My dream once again blurred, light streaking past me until it jolted to an abrupt stop. I looked around and felt my blood run cold. I was in an all too familiar place. It was the bar that The League of Villains had occupied, except there was a monumental difference. The walls, floor, bar surfaces and bar stools were all splattered with blood. Most of the blood seemed unnervingly fresh as if it had been shed moments before I had popped up. Nobody else occupied the room, it was just me. Me, the blood all over the walls and the blood-soaked knife in my hand. I stared down at my hands in horror. They were painted red with guilt and torture. I could feel vomit working it's way up my throat at the wet, sticky feeling of the blood on my hands as I moved my fingers apart. I couldn't help but be transfixed by the murder scene around me. It was like a sick fascination which didn't belong to me had rooted itself in my brain. Questions swirled around my mind, but there was one, which always made it's way to the forefront of my mind. Who's blood was on my hands?

The question was answered almost immediately. One second I was completely alone in the room, the next a cadaver was sprawled on the floor before me. My eyes slowly raised to look at the body in front of me. I knew in my gut who it was, I just didn't want to believe it. My eyes slowly raised to see the red and white hair of my victim. The bulging steel grey and Mediterranean blue eye. The vivid red scar. I retched at the sight of my boyfriend's, Shoto Todoroki, body. I turned away from his mutilated body and threw up on the floor, not being able to get the image out of my head. It looked like someone had tried to gouge his eyes out. His throat was slit multiple times and his intestines had been pulled out haphazardly. They leaked like giant worms out of the hole in his abdomen. I continued painfully throw up what little I had in my stomach. My stomach acid burned my throat, causing tears of pain to join the torrent of tears already streaming down my face. When there was nothing left for me to bring up, I kept gagging. I couldn't bring myself to look back at his body, but the damage was already done. The image of his dead body was scorched into my mind. I knew that it was a dream. Yet it was just too real.

"Look what you did, Son. We all knew that you would go crazy one day, but we didn't expect this. You're a natural at this." A jovial voice spoke up from behind me. I whipped around and saw Hisashi leaning against the doorframe. A sickeningly wide smile painted across his face. I felt like launching myself at him and ripping him limb from limb. I had a gut feeling that he had forced me to do this, that he was are fault for this as well as me. "I'm not anything like you." I hissed. Hisashi pushed himself off of the doorframe and swaggered towards me, being sure to purposefully step on Shoto's body on his journey to me. I could hear the disgusting sound of Shoto's femur snap as Hisashi stepped on it. "Don't get too big for your britches, Izuku. You're exactly like me. Killing the one who loved you. Turning on them because they did something that you don't like. We're alike, you and I." Hisashi chuckled humourlessly. He sneered down at me as more tears streaked down my cheeks. " I WILL NEVER BE ANYTHING LIKE YOU!" I screeched at Hisashi, managing to push myself off of the floor. I glared directly into Hisashi's eyes, the knife in my hand shaking as I got angrier and angrier. "Is that so? You know that's a lie, Izuku." Hisashi snapped before slapping me across the face. Hit after hit. Punch after punch. Kick after kick. Pain showered down on me at the hands of Hisashi. I was beaten to the ground until I was lying next to Shoto's body. I looked into his sparkless eyes and felt a cold feeling in my heart. It physically pained me. The icy feeling spread from my heart to the rest of my body, making me cramp in pain. "There's nothing you can do, Izuku. I will always be a part of you." Hisashi snickered to himself. Rage filled my body. I felt like my body was on autopilot. The only coherent thought I had was that the only way to rid myself of Hisashi was to kill him. 

I'm not sure what happened next. Of course, I know it was a dream, but every action I did felt so real. Every time I raised my arm. Every time the knife entered Hisashi's body. I remember my bones popping as I shifted into a wolf and mauled on Hisashi's leg, only spurred on by his screams of agony and pleads for me to stop. He never showed me any sort of mercy, so why should I return the favour?

When I finally came out of my stupor, the only thing that remained of Hisashi Midoriya was an ear and a few bone splinters. I could see my face in the mirror behind the bar as I sat on a blood-soaked stool. The entire area surrounding my mouth was crimson and my eyes were dark. They lacked life. I may as well have been dead. It was scary to look at myself and see nothing. Well, not nothing, per se, but a blank gaze. No emotion. I'm sure I was in shock and couldn't even begin to comprehend what I had just done. I'm sure that my state of mind had something to do with my next actions. Even if it was just a dream, nobody should feel emotionless as they raised an already filthy knife to their neck. Nobody should have empty eyes as that same knife slides across their throat, spilling their heavy black blood. Nobody should watch in a mirror as they slump forwards. My vision began to swim and darken at the edges. The only emotion I felt as I bled out was relief. Relief that I had finally done what I was once too weak to do. 

I shot up in my bed, heaving for breath and gasping at phantom pain. I tried to calm my racing heartbeat, but I wasn't able to. Images of my nightmare flashed through my mind, causing me to heave and scramble into the bathroom on all fours so that I could puke and gag into the toilet. It was only after I had finished heaving into the toilet did I finally take notice of the fact that I was already covered in vomit. It was tangled into my hair, plastered onto my clothes and smeared across my face. What made it even more disgusting was the fact that it was dry. I grimaced as I looked into the mirror. It was hard, seeing as I had to place all my weight onto the sink so that I didn't put too much strain on my legs. I scowled in disgust at the pathetic excuse of a human being in front of me. I shook my head. That wasn't me talking it was Hisashi. He had gotten into my head.

It was slow going, but I managed to clean myself up whilst I had limited movement. Scrubbing and scratching the vomit off of myself in the shower had been one of the most disgusting things I have ever experienced. I was glad I had a shower chair since I'm fairly certain I would have fainted in disgust had it not been there. I didn't bother even attempting to clean up the mess on my bed. The vomit which was crusted onto the sheets was more than I was willing to handle at 4 o'clock in the morning. Since I couldn't lay on my bed, I had to make a decision. Did I: A) Sit at my desk and see if I could get more sleep just by laying my head on the desk. B) Knock onto Kacchan's door, wake him up and ask to sleep in his bed. Or C) Knock on Shoto's door and ask to sleep in his bed. The first option sounded extremely uncomfortable and I had no desire to wake up with a stiff neck. The second option, whilst more comfortable, was significantly more dangerous. If Kacchan was woken up early, he was extremely grouchy the next day. He had trouble getting back to sleep once he was woken up, so he probably wouldn't go to sleep again if I knocked on his door. The third option was both more comfortable and safer. However, it would be extremely awkward seeing as we had argued the previous day. I knew which option I preferred, I just hoped he didn't mind.

I sighed heavily as I knocked on Shoto's door. I had to knock quite hard seeing as he was bound to be asleep. I fiddled with the wheels of my wheelchair as I waited for Shoto to answer the door. I wasn't just choosing Shoto so that Kacchan didn't kill me, but also so that I could assure myself that he was ok. It took a minute, but Shoto finally came to the door, his bed head making him look undeniably handsome. He seemed confused as he looked directly ahead of him, his sleep lagged mind didn't get the bright idea to look down. "Shoto." I said, drawing the boy's attention to me. Shoto looked at me before his eyes seemed to gloss over a bit. "Izuku, what are you doing at my door at 4:30 in the morning?" Shoto asked, rubbing his eyes and tousling his hair which was very unfair to me. How does he expect me to not get flustered when he does that. "Umm... I had a really bad nightmare and... I can't sleep in my bed at the moment." I whispered, not daring to look him in the eyes. "Why can't you sleep in your bed?" Shoto asked, leaning against his doorframe and crossing his arms. He didn't look at all happy to see me, which was fair when you thought about it. I blushed and fiddled with my fingers as I mumbled under my breath, nowhere near loud enough for Shoto to hear. "What was that, Izuku?" Shoto asked with a quirked eyebrow. I looked up at him and took a deep breath. " I had a nightmare and it was really graphic and scary. I ended up puking all over myself and my bed. I can't clean my bed since it's so early. I understand if you don't want to help me." my voice got quieter as I spoke, the last sentence barely a whisper. I put my hands on my wheels, preparing to push myself over to Kacchan's room when Shoto's cold hand was gently placed on my head. I looked up with wide eyes. "Come in, Izuku," Shoto said with a tired sigh. I nodded my head and followed Shoto into his room, admiring the decorations as I did every time I entered Shoto's room. Even in low light, Shoto's room never failed to amaze me. I wheeled myself forwards so that I was beside Shoto's bed. "I won't ask any questions at the moment. But you need to explain in the morning." Shoto yawned as he rolled over on his bed and looked at me with piercing eyes. I blushed under his gaze and nodded my head. "Are you gonna sit there all night or what?" Shoto asked with a minute smirk. I blushed even more and shook my head rapidly. I lined my wheelchair up next to Shoto's bed before lifting myself up and rolling over onto his bed. I came to a stop and stared into my boyfriend's eyes. I felt my heart flutter and stutter at the breathtaking sight of his eyes. 

*Shoto's POV*    

 Staring into Izuku's eyes made my heart skip a few beats. His shining emerald eyes were filled with sadness and a bit of fear. I brought my hand up and brushed my fingers through his hair, adoring the soft, silky feeling of his hair between my fingers. "I'm sorry." Izuku whispered into the comfortable silence which had wrapped around us like a blanket. His breath tickled my lips and nose. It smelt like mint, a clear indication that he had brushed his teeth quite a few times. "I shouldn't have gotten so angry at you earlier. I was just mad and everything was piling up on me." Izuku continued to whisper. We were so close that I could feel his lips ghost across mine as he spoke. I wrapped my arm around Izuku's waist and pulled him into my chest, resting my chin on top of his head. "It's ok, Izu. I understand, but can we talk more about this in the morning. I'm tired." I yawned. I felt Izu nod against my chest. I looked down and got a face full of Izuku's curls. I lifted his face to look at mine with my finger before placing a chaste kiss on his lips. Izuku immediately pushed his lips against mine and wrapped his arms around my neck. The kiss was short since I was tired and was struggling to keep my eyes open. When we pulled away I pecked Izuku on the forehead before closing my eyes and squeezing Izuku's waist a bit before falling into a dreamless slumber with my boyfriend in my arms.

I'm updating today because I need questions for a Q&A I'm going to do when I hit 300 followers. The Q&A will be in this book, either at the end of a chapter or a chapter on its own. Please ask me questions, any questions at all, I've wanted to do something like this for a while and it won't work if nobody asks questions. If you have any other ideas for what I could do instead of a Q&A, please tell me. 

I hope you enjoyed this chapter of Phenomenon and have a wonderful day wherever you are.