— Later That Same Night —
(Britt's P.O.V.)

AJ made us dinner right here in this hotel room in Hartford, Connecticut, and I feel truly blessed to have him in my life for as long as I have. I wouldn't want anyone else to ever replace him, ever.

After dinner of juicy steak and fries, the laughter and chatter goes down, so we go out to the balcony where the cold, yet peaceful, wind immediately greeted us. It was comforting, to say the least.

"What is that you really want from life?" AJ suddenly asked, turning the direction of the conversation we once had into something very serious.

We weren't looking at each other. Well, he wasn't looking at me, at least. He was looking out into this amazing city and gazing at all of the lights from this far up. So, this gave me plenty of time to think about my proper answer that I would soon give him. Nothing.

"You mean before I hit the big forty?" I inquired, just to make sure if that's what he exactly meant.

He shrugged and only met my eyes for a second before looking away again. It was like he was purposely avoiding eye contact with me. "Well, before you die, I guess."

Oh. Well, I had already told him what I wanted to experience from life. I want marriage, kids of my very own, and ultimately – happiness.

The only part that I didn't tell him was that I wanted to take a year off of wrestling and spend every waking second with him in the house we would have together somewhere in Georgia up in the mountains, hopefully.

So, then, I sighed and finally replied, "I already told you. Marriage, kids of my own, and happiness."

I seen how AJ kind of shifted in his place as where he bit down on his bottom lip, obviously avoiding what would to come of this conversation. All I wanted to know was what the bloody hell was going on deep into his mind right now? Who is AJ right now?

"Britt," he muttered out my name before he turned directly to me and caressed my hands with his, "there's something I need to tell you and it's not going to be easy on me, especially."

Oh, God. What could he have to say now? Whatever it is, it has to be serious. I mean... I'm scared to know at this point. Nevertheless, I nod and give him the go to get on with it.

For a split second, he avoids telling me, where he let's go of my hands and turns away. He stands up and leans over the balcony's ledge. I stand up beside him, too, and watch him and all of his facial expressions.

"I just can't have my best friend as my girlfriend right now," he finally admitted, glaring out at the city in front of us. Although, I couldn't stop looking at his face the whole time. W-What? "Not yet, anyway. I don't think I'm ready for another commitment that's going to end in tragedy once again."

I gulped, only to feel my heart shatter like a glass ceiling after having a baseball bat to it. It takes everything in me to hold back the tears because I have to understand. I have to. "That's okay," I whispered, not meaning for it to be so silent when I said it. "I understand." Another lie.

"Maybe...," AJ's voice trailed off as he tapped his fingertips on the ledge. I watched his facial expression change into something I hadn't seen in a long time. This time, it's all because of me. "Maybe we should just leave the kissing and all that to the storyline."

Right. Of course he would say that. Of course he would tear out the reminding piece of my heart and throw it in the streets of Hartford, Connecticut. Of fucking course he would!

I managed to nod and quietly agree to this, despite the fact that I can feel my heart break up into tiny little pieces and emptying into the pit of my stomach. Forget the shattering glass ceiling and the baseball bat — and everything else. Forget it all. Forget all that I know and all the things that I want to know.

AJ turned his body completely around, giving it a total 180 to where he standing right in front of me. "Look, Britt, it's only because you and I both know you deserve the whole world and I'm just not the best fit for that picture just yet," he goes on to admit more.

Doesn't he realize how much it hurts more when he talks about it? So, I gently push him to the side and try to slip back through the door to go back into the hotel room, but he holds me back. Of course. He always does, but doesn't he know how much everything hurts so fucking much when he holds me back? Intentionally or not, he does. He always has.

"You said it yourself, Britt," AJ – once again – continues and it only starts to make things worse. "You said it last night that it's not fair on either of us to get going on with this game of mixed signals and feelings when we'll just get more hurt in the end. It's not healthy, so we'll leave it to the storyline and the storyline only."

I swallowed down all the pride I had left, which wasn't very much, and blinked a couple of times to avoid the tears bickering in my eyelids. "Th-That's not true," I mumbled out, refusing what he's saying.

Despite the fact that I said it myself last night, it was just in the heat of the moment, that's all. It's not like I actually meant it. Fine, fuck it! I did mean it – every word – but I thought it would only change things for the good, not the fucking worse like they are now.

"It is, though, Britt, and you know it," his voice came out rather harsh, to say the least. It was a mixture of sadness and anger, I can tell. I refuse to let him to see me cry again for another night. "You just... You just fucking know it already."

Wow. It wasn't like him to drop that kind of curse word like I would. Not an F-Bomb. But again, within the heat of the moment, I can see why he would. It only made me sink lower in my place, which didn't help my heart with everything going on. I had to bite back a sob that was trying to escape from within my body, but it was no use.

Finally, I break through the door of the balcony to back to the main room. I begin to frantically pack up my things and he soon comes to stop me. I shut down and throw them at him. "I can't fucking do this, AJ! I can't fucking deal with you anymore!" I cried, allowing the anger and tears to finally escape. "I can't deal with the fact – or to come to terms with it – that you'll never love me like you loved Wendy! I'll never get over the fact that you stayed married to her as long as you did! I can't get over the fact that she just let you go like you were nothing to her!"

I couldn't actually believe what the fuck I was finally telling him, although it was within the heat of the moment – I wouldn't reveal the real shit to him. I could only allow him to know the basics and the daily heartbreak I feel.

"Britt, I'm sorry! I—"

"No, save it, AJ!" I countered him, which immediately made him quiet. I didn't mean to sound harsh or any of what I'm doing, but the anger I feel had taken over and I cannot contain myself. I can, but only to a point. And, yes, my point has been reached. "So, let me leave and clear my head for a while. I need... I just need some space right now. Please let me go. For now, at least."

All he did was nod and I could see the hurt and pain written all over his face. His glassy eyes also told me a new story, too, but it would be one I couldn't ever read or get too much into it. It was only because I had to get the hell out of dodge before I do something I would eventually regret.

Fergie once said that big girls don't cry. Well, she must not know most of the female population to where all big girls do cry. And these days, it's mostly me.

I realize that as I leave his hotel room and have to push my way through Luke and Karl, whom must have heard all the commotion from their room, and head down to Emma's room.

As soon as I show up at her door and she answers, I fall into her grasp and cave into a fit of tears because I know it as well as AJ does, too.

It's over.

• DAYUM! I mean... Hey? Yeah, that's a proper greeting, right? Well, um, so... Hey, look, okay — this is sad AF, but not as sad (on my part) that I thought it would be! It had to happen, I'm sorry. Britt is heading down a long road of deep depression over this shit. Well, over AJ, mainly. She's kept quiet for 14 fucking years and now she's letting it all out. FINALLY 🙌🏻 Alright, well, let me kw what u guys think! All the love .xx •