CHAPTER FOURTEEN... 

"It shall be the policy of this nation to regard any nuclear missile crossing the embargo line that surrounds Cuba, as an attack by the Soviet Union on the United States," President Kennedy's black and white face holds all of our attention. I try to keep my breathing steady as we continue to watch the address.

"Requiring," he continues, "a full retaliatory response upon the Soviet Union." Moira and Charles exchange glances while Erik takes my hand from where I stand next to him. He lifts his other hand --still holding the gun--, and points to the television.

"That's where we're gonna find Shaw." he says. My breath catches in my throat. Shaw. We're going to him. We're going to fight him. We're going to stop him. The idea is both equally terrifying and exhilarating.

"How do you know?" Alex asks. Raven stands next to him looking worried, while Sean stands beside her, his hands in his pockets. I bite my lip and dare to take a good look at him. I'm surprised to find that he seems exactly like the roguish, playful Sean I know. It seems me separating myself from him hasn't exactly taken a toll on his optimism. I need confirmation, so I stare at him until he realizes I'm looking. When our eyes meet, I ask him through my gaze. Are we alright?

For a moment, he doesn't move, then he slowly --almost imperceptibly-- nods his head. I let out a breath and turn back to the TV.

"Two superpowers facing off," Charles says. "and he wants to start World War III..."

I speak up. "He won't leave anything up to chance." They all turn to me. "If he wants something done so badly, he'll do it himself."

"So much for diplomacy." Erik says, a hint of sarcasm lacing his words. Though the air in the room is tight with tension, I still manage a giggle. "I suggest you all get a good night's sleep." That's enough to cause me to stop. So soon. In just a few hours, we'll be flying over to Cuba. We'll have to fight, using our abilities against the Hellfire Club. We'll have to face off against Shaw. I'll have to face him.

I gulp, my throat tightening with each breath I take. I need air, I need to distract my mind. Erik begins to walk away, so I follow him. Once we get out into the foyer, I practically run outside. The moment I step out into the fresh afternoon sun, I gulp in the air like it's the last time I'll ever breathe. After a moment, I calm down and walk over to the spot where Erik stood, able to move the satellite. I can still feel the raw power of his movements buzz through my hand.

"Leena!" an eerily familiar voice calls out to me, and I don't have to turn around to know who it is, but I do anyway. Sean walks towards me, his movements hurried, and he breathes hard once he get's closer.

"Hey, Sean." I say, my voice timid and small. I curse myself for being so weak. We are good, so why do I still feel like I should apologize?

"I just wanted to tell you..." Sean starts, running a hand through his hair anxiously. I wait patiently, my hands over my waist. I don't think I've ever seen him in such a rush to say something. Most of the time, he will speak as if he has all the time in the world.

"Yes?" I prompt. The air tightens as he takes a step closer.

He looks into my eyes, then takes a deep breath. "I understand why you don't want this." he gestures between us two. "After what happened on the satellite, I thought about it a lot and... you were right."

I frown. "About what?" all I remember is the onslaught of memories holding me back, I don't recall saying anything he could agree with.

"You said you weren't ready," he replies. "and I guess what I'm here telling you is that I'm not ready either." He makes a noise that sounds like something between a laugh and a cry. "We're about to go stop a world War, you're about to see your captor again."

I shift from foot to foot.

"I didn't know what had happened before the night at the facility." he says. "If I had, I wouldn't have been so abrupt."

I raise a hand, my blood boiling in my veins. "I'm not some fragile thing you need to handle delicately, Sean. You don't need to change who you are just because you think it will make me feel better." the words pour out of me. "I've been through hell and back, but so have you, in your own way. We're all fighting our own battles. I said I wasn't ready because of what I'd gone through, yes that's true, but I don't want you to regret talking to me just because you didn't know something I'd chosen not to tell you."

"I like you." I say, my voice calm for once. "I really, truly do. But I can't do this. I don't know how... I don't want to be in that sort of relationship."

Sean nods, his face softening. "I guess, what I came out here to say is... me neither." I pause, and he barks a soft laugh. "I've spent my entire life chasing girls and the one I actually like I realize I don't want it in that way." This makes me laugh too, and I step closer to him, wrapping my arms around his neck, pulling him into a gentle hug.

When I pull back, I stick out my hand. "Friends?" Sean looks down at my open palm, then takes it in his own.

"Friends." he replies. I smile, taking a deep breath that seems to envelope my whole body, and for a blissful, quiet moment, I feel like I can take on the world.

We head back up to the manor, smiling at each other bashfully. Once we get to the main entrance, I turn and say. "You know, you're not such a bad kisser." Sean turns in surprise, then bows.

"Why, thank you." he says, then adds. "I guess I have had a bit more practice than you." I gasp while he snickers. I walk up onto the steps, then whirl around one more time. He still stands in the entrance, hands in his pockets, looking up at me.

"Thank you for understanding." I say.

"Thanks for not hating me." he replies, and continues down the hall. I smile and go up to my room. Once I reach the top, I go over to the window seat and sit down, curling my knees up to my cheek. I look out across the lake, past the forest of jewel green that encompasses the entire estate.

I take a deep breath, trying to calm my heart thumping against my chest. Tomorrow we'll be on a jet to Cuba, hoping to stop a cache of missiles crossing a line in the ocean. He will be there, and I have no doubt that I'll be forced to see him again.

✶✶✶

A cold, dark room. I stand in the center, my bare feet grazing the tile floor which pricks ice cold needles into my soft flesh. A soft breeze blows in from somewhere I cannot see.

My hair sticks to the back of my neck, sweat plasters along my brow. I breathe heavily, the air not seeming to be enough. I pant in gasps and fits, holding my stomach tight. I look down, and realize I'm only wearing a thin nightgown, ivory white and adorned with dainty flowers that drape all the way to the floor.

Where am I? How did I get here?

I run a hand along the wall tentatively, and my fingers ache when they touch the cool cement. I walk around the room once, letting the walls guide me. This place can't be more than the size of a large closet. My limbs ache from the cold, my breath shakes, and in the thin stream of light illuminates only myself, I can see my breath freeze in the air.

I back against a corner, tears running along the lids of my eyes. My back screams in protest as I slide down the wall, landing on the floor with a thump. My jaw tightens. I can't get out. I have no way to escape wherever this is.

Where am I?

I can't get out.

A noise jolts me from my spiraling thoughts. I look up but cannot see where it is coming from. Heavy footsteps click-clack on the floor. It seems to come from everywhere, yet nowhere at the same time. A pounding rhythm that can either bring me salvation or destruction. I push myself further against the wall. The footsteps continue, thumping along like they have all the time in the world.

I don't. I'm one second closer to breaking down. Every time the step falls, a little part of me shatters. Help me, I want to say, but then I wonder if the footsteps mean something bad, and hold my tongue.

Help me, or get away. I can't decide. After what seems like an eternity, the footsteps getting louder, they suddenly stop. The halt is so abrupt it makes me gasp. I freeze and move a hand to my mouth. I breath through my hand, trying to keep myself steady.

A door I couldn't see before swings open, and a bombardment of mist pours into the room, along with a blazing burst of light that singe the back of my eyelids. I raise a hand to cover my face. When the light subsides, I look quickly towards the door frame, where light illuminates the figure standing before me.

The man walks forward, his movements leisurely and paced. I crawl back, digging my backside into the hard cement. When the man's face comes into view, what little light there is illuminating his sick smile and hardened eyes, I scream.

"Did you think you could escape, Leena?" Sebastian Shaw asks me. "I told you not to even try." I whimper, trying to get away. I look behind him, to where the door to the outside world still hangs open. I gulp, standing up slightly, but not enough for him to see. Shaw laughs, his arms stretched towards me. I hate that laugh. It burns fuchsia lines in my skull and rattles at the back of my head, forever taunting me.

I take another breath, then dash around him and sprint for the door. My legs are as heavy as lead, and my arms feel like they're being held by strings, moving on their own accord. Before I can reach the light, hands wrap around my waist and pull me back. Shaw's grip is like iron, and as I struggle against him, that nauseated laugh begins to chime once again.

I scream and pound fists against his own, trying to elbow him in the stomach and kick his shins.

Nothing works. I'm able to get one hand free and reach for the door, as if I can somehow pull myself towards it. Shaw laughs, and I can feel his smile in the back of my head. He begins to drag me back into the darkness of the room.

"No!" I cry, reaching out farther. "No! No! Let me go!"

"You can't escape." Shaw says. "Leena," my name is like sugar on his lips. "You can't escape."

To my horror, just as I am pulled into the darkest corner of the room, the heavy iron door swings shut with a bang.

I gasp, bolting upright, my movements a flurry of limbs and breath. I look around, trying to orient myself, but all I can see is black. As my eyes adjust to the gloom, I realize that it is not just the night that clouds my vision. Dark energy, serpentine and glistening, weaves itself like a tapestry around my room. It crawls on the covers of my bed, dances on top of the sofas, and slithers about the window panes that look over a world shrouded starlight.

I take a deep breath, trying to calm my breathing. It was just a dream, I assure myself, it was just a dream. I open my eyes again and look back to the window. The heavy blanket of nightfall drops over everything. Stars glisten in the velvet sky, reassuring me that I am not in a darkened room with no escape. Light pools at the bottom of my bedroom door.

What time is it?

I lay back down, my head resting against my mountain of pillows. I reach a hand up, closing my eyes, and pull the energy towards me. Darkness pools in my hand, then seeps into my flesh. I do not wince, only bite my tongue and try not to scream.

I keep my eyes closed after my outburst subsides. I need to go back to sleep, I need to rest, Tomorrow we'll be in Cuba, fighting against the man from my nightmares.

I snap my eyes open. Tomorrow, we fight Shaw tomorrow. My stomach ties itself into a knot that stops my breathing. I sit back up again, leaning my head against the headboard. Tomorrow you'll see him again, tomorrow you'll fight him again. I force myself to breathe, making the fresh air move properly through my lungs.

The air brings life back into my tired body.

I need to rest, I need to fall back asleep. Even as I think these words, I know it will not happen. Adrenaline buzzes through me, and I feel as if a dozen wasps fly about my organs. Every once in a while they hit a barricade and sting their way through. I wince and push the covers off of me. I walk over to one of the sofas and shrug a fuzzy, warm robe over top my nightgown. I waltz over to the door to the hallway, trying to be as silent as possible as I crack it open.

The light comes from the downstairs chandelier, and when I walk towards the banister, I can see that one of the lounge areas facing the front of the house is open. Light pours out, and from where I stand, I can see a roaring fire basking the room with a soft glow.

I make my way down the stairs and stand in the doorway, peering in. Charles and Erik sit opposite each other, a game of chess between them. They remain silent for a moment, then Charles makes his move.

"Cuba, Russia, America." he says. "It makes no difference. Shaw's declared war on mankind -- on all of us. He has to be stopped."

His words strike a cord on my heartstrings, and I knock. Both Charles and Erik look up at the same time, their face alert, but once they see it's only me, they lean back down. I walk shyly over to them and sit in between, like a judge assessing both sides of the game.

"What are you doing up?" Erik asks me.

I shrug. "Couldn't sleep."

Charles clears his throat. "You should try to go back to bed, Leena, we have a long day ahead of us."

I shake my head. "I'm not going back to the nightmares." Erik places a reassuring hand on my shoulder.

"Then you can stay here with us." I smile and look back at the game, placing my head in my hands, my cheeks scrunching with the movement.

"You're right, Charles." I say as Erik makes his move. "Shaw does need to be stopped."

Erik perks up. "I'm not going to stop Shaw, Leena." I frown. "I'm gonna kill him." the room goes silent. My voice is trapped in my chest, and Charles looks menacingly at Erik, but says nothing.

Erik looks to Charles. "Do you have it in you to allow that?" he doesn't even ask me, it's as if he already knows my answer. The problem is, I don't.

This whole time, I've been struggling with what to do when the time comes and I have to face Shaw again. This morning the word captured didn't feel like a good enough punishment for him. I think back to all the pain he's caused, first to Erik, then to me, then to Darwin and all the people that tried to stand up to him.

He's a monster, a devil in disguise, and a part of me wants him dead. I want to see the light leave his eyes, I want to see the end of his reign of destruction. I want to watch as he simply becomes another star in the sky, millions of years away, never to be reached again.

But I could never kill. The thought makes my stomach burn, and I close my eyes for a second, trying to rid the thoughts of murder from my head.

I stand between two options; let Erik kill Shaw, or don't. I can't decide, not now, not ever. I feel myself being pulled this way and that, different voices arguing inside my skull, bringing on a pounding chant of indecisiveness that makes me dizzy.

Erik's voice pulls me back to reality. "You've both known all along why I was here." He looks at me, and I swear I see a flicker of regret pass across his eyes. "But things have changed. What started as a covert mission --tomorrow mankind will know mutants exist. Shaw, us-- they won't differentiate. They'll fear us. And that fear will turn to hatred."

I don't have the voice to say anything.

"Not if we stop a war." Charles answers, leaning forward on both knees, his face turning grave. "Not if we can prevent Shaw. Not if we risk our lives doing so." I nod my head carefully. Shaw is the real enemy, not mankind itself.

"He's right, Erik." I say.

Erik doesn't seem to hear me. "Would they do the same for us?"

"Erik, remember who we're fighting." I say slowly. The man turns his head to me, eyebrows raised. "Shaw."

"I know who we're fighting." Erik replies, his voice dangerously low.

"We have it in us to be the better men." Charles says. I find myself inching closer towards Charles' side. It's two against one, and I hate that we are divided like this.

"We already are." Erik answers, and his next words makes my blood freeze in my veins. "We're the next stage of human evolution. You said it yourself."

"No," both Charles and I say at the same time. Charles reaches and takes a swig of his drink. I sit there, frozen.

Erik is speaking only to Charles now. "Are you really so naive as to think they won't battle their own extinction?" Charles looks down to where I sit, conflict waging war upon his soft features. "Or is it arrogance?"

"What?!" I exclaim at the same time Charles says. "I'm sorry?"

"After tomorrow they're going to turn on us," Erik tells Charles. "But you're blind to it, because you believe they're all like Moira."

"And you believe they're all like Shaw." Charles replies calmly.

I speak up, finally finding my voice. "You sound like him." my words cause Erik to turn to me abruptly. "You sound just like he does. We are the greater beings? We are the better men therefore we should fight mankind as well?" Erik's face softens. "Look what he did to you, Erik! Why are you starting to think exactly like he does?"

Erik points a warning finger towards me. "I am nothing like that monster." he says. "Unlike him, I'm doing this for others. Don't ever compare me to Shaw."

I shake my head. "Then stop acting like him." Erik doesn't speak again, instead he only stares at me, a hurt expression playing on his features. I can't bring myself to feel bad. The way he spoke, the way his eyes seemed to become a storm and his words began to rumble, it brings back too many memories for me to count.

Charles leans forward. "Listen to me very carefully, my friend." he says. "Killing Shaw will not bring you peace, and nor will thinking like everyone will turn on you."

Erik stiffens, his face going slack.

"Peace was never an option." he says calmly. Something twists beneath my bones as Erik stares for a moment, then gets up from his spot. "Goodnight." he says, and walks out the door. I sit for a few seconds, my fists shaking, memories upon memories assaulting my mind like a dagger to the throat. Charles places a hand on top of my own.

"Don't, Leena." he warns. "Erik is just angry."

"So am I." I respond, and stand up, rushing out the door. I see Erik halfway up the steps to the bedrooms. He looks down as I rush out the door, face stiff and defensive. When he sees it's me, his face slackens.

"Goodnight, Leena." he says dispassionately. I place my hands on my hips, my face burning.

"No." I say firmly. Erik stops on the staircase once more, turning down to meet my gaze. When he sees the firestorm seething behind my irises, something inside him seems to deflate. Erik turns around and walks back down the stairs, coming up to me. I frown, then grab his sleeve and pull him into another lounge farther away from where Charles still sits in front of the unfinished game of chess. I close the door behind me and whirl on Erik.

Before I can speak, however, he begins to talk. "Do you really think that I'm like Shaw?" His words halt me in my tracks. So soft, so full of despair and shame I don't need to read his feelings to know what he's thinking.

I open my mouth, then shut it again. Because I find that I don't know. The way he talked back there, the hatred that laced his words, the fury bathing in his eyes, it was exactly like Shaw. We are the better men. I can't count how many times Shaw spoke those words before another experiment. The memories of him reciting his beliefs like a Prophet recites the future haunt me. He believed those words more than anything else, and look how much pain it wrought.

But at the same time, Erik is nothing like Shaw. When Erik hugs me, I don't flinch or try to pull away. He has always looked out for me, he rescued me, he promised to stick by my side and that was exactly what he did. What he does. Erik Lehnsherr is probably the only person I have come even remotely close to loving. As a father, as a guardian, just as something.

But seeing him now, seeing the way he thinks, the way he feels, a part of me fears what will happen. I rush over to where Erik stands and pull him into a hug, the emotions of day flurrying inside me like a blazing snowstorm. It bites and punctures my heart, but I don't let go.

"I don't know." I say after a while, pulling away. Erik stands in the center, his face drawn.

"What?" he asks.

"I don't know who I think you are." I say. My voice doesn't waver, nor does my mind. "Those things you said, they sounded like him, but I know you're not. You are a hero, Erik. You are selfless and you care about things." I frown. "But that's not why you scare me sometimes."

Erik stiffens. "What scares you?"

"What you do to the things you don't care about." I reply. We stand apart for a moment, Erik tall and powerful, myself lanky and timid. But fire burns in our heart and our eyes, and I don't back down.

After what seems like ages, Erik comes closer to me. He kneels to the ground so that we are eye level.

"Listen to me, Leena." he says. "I will never do anything to hurt you. I am not him, I am not anything like him." I take a deep breath. "I will never harm a hair on your head, and if I did, I would never forgive myself. I made a promise to you, and I will keep that promise until the day I die. I will not leave you."

"You can't promise that." I say.

Erik sighs. "Watch me." he's silent, then continues on. "Do you want to know why I really stayed all this time?"

My throat catches. "Why?"

"Because I needed to know you would be all right." the words pour out of him like wine from a bottle. "I needed to make sure that you weren't hurt, that Shaw couldn't hurt you anymore. I promised myself those days in Russia, when we caught Emma, that I would protect you. That I would hunt down -- hat I would kill-- anyone that tried to come after you."

Tears fall down my cheeks. "Why?" I ask.

Erik looks into my eyes. "Because I realize that I didn't just save some random girl on Shaw's yacht. I saved you. And I... I care about you. I care about what happens to you."

I can't hold in my sobs, and I look down at my hands. Erik takes them in his own.

"And that means killing Shaw." he says. The way he speaks shows how he feels about this. His words are hesitant and gentle, like he's trying to relay bad news to someone. In this case, it's the worst news.

"Erik." I say, but he holds up a hand.

"It's the only way, Leena." he says. Then he stands up and plants a soft kiss in between my curly hair.

I'm left frozen for a moment, paralyzed in the reality of what is about to come, then stand up, and walk out the door. 

AUTHOR'S NOTE... 

I'm not crying, you're crying. 

Seriously though, we are so close to the end and I am SO EXCITED. This is where everything comes crashing down. They're going to fight Shaw, Leena will have to see him again, and she'll have to make a choice between going with Papa Lehnsherr or staying with Charles. Who do you think she'll choose? 

Love, Mal