XX

Anne pulled her shawl tighter around the bare skin of her shoulders as she fought against the strong wind whipping around her body. The dark curls of her head blew around raucously, slapping her neck and cheeks. Tingles of cold sparked their way through her arms and legs.

But one thought warmed her up inside and forced her on.

She was nearly there.

She was nearly home.

Then she stood, uncertainly, before the door of the closed apartment, wondering if she should knock, hoping that she would be welcomed, wishing that she could stay.

Slowly, a clenched hand rose towards the oak panels of the door that were cracked with age and wet with mould.

"Anne?"

Hurriedly, Anne spun around to see her brother, W.D, entering the alley.

"W.D!" she exclaimed as she rushed forward to meet him.

Flinging out his arms, W.D grabbed her around the waist and hoisted her upwards in a big, bear hug. "Ah, Anne," he breathed into her hair. "I've missed you. So has Oma."

"Can - can I come in?" Anne queried, almost afraid of the answer.

"Of course," W.D guided her towards the door. "Welcome back, sis."

As Anne stepped into the dank shadows of the house, she saw her grandmother, slouched sadly in a rocking chair that had been set up by the crackling embers of the fire.

"Oma [Grandmother]," she whispered as she approached her on soundless feet. "Da ich bin, Anne [It's me, Anne]."

Grandmother Wheeler's head perked up and she turned misty eyes towards her granddaughter. "Anne," she smiled. "Du bist zu mir zurückgekommen [You have come back to me]."

Anne nodded, tears of her own arching down her cheeks. "Ja. Ich habe dich vermisst [Yes. I missed you]."

"Hast du diese dumme Idee aufgegeben? Hast du dich entschieden nach Hause zu kommen [Have you given up this foolish idea? Have you decided to come back home]?" Grandmother Wheeler straightened up eagerly.

Anne let out a heavy sigh and shook her head. "Nein. Es ist nicht töricht. Es ist mein Traum [No. It is not foolish. It is my dream]."

"Sie denkt nicht so [She does not think so]," Grandmother Wheeler furrowed her brow and pointed over Anne's shoulder.

Surprised, Anne straightened up to see Miss Patterson sitting at the family table with a mug of steaming tea in front of her!

"Miss Patterson?" she queried, startled. "Was tun Sie hier [What are you doing here]?"

Miss Patterson narrowed her eyes and slammed her mug down on the table with a loud, resounding thump. "Du wirfst alles weg. So habe ich dich nicht gelehrt, zu handeln. Und jetzt will Deng Yan dem Zirkus beitreten [You are throwing away everything. This is not how I taught you to act. And now Deng Yan wants to join the circus]!"

Anne returned Miss Patterson's angry glare before snapping, "Gleichfalls? Ich kann dir nicht glauben! Du hast ich gelehrt, stark zu sein und Gutes zu suchen [You too? I cannot believe you. You taught me to be strong and seek good]."

"Nicht auf diese Weise [Not in this way]," Miss Patterson rebuffed her.

Struggling to keep her emotions in check, Anne withdrew a brightly decorated poster, advertising the opening night for the Barnum show, and laid it on the table for Grandmother, Miss Patterson and W.D to see. "Ich erwarte nicht, dich dort zu sehen. Aber ich hoffe du kommst [I don't expect to see you there but I hope you will come]."

Then, Anne did one of the hardest things she'd ever had to do. She picked up her head, walked to the door and disappeared into the cold mist of the night.

As the days progressed into weeks and the date for the show's opening night drew closer and closer, the once-empty museum because the centre of bustling activity filled with performers, costume fitters, makeup artists and construction crew members.

To Anne's great joy, Phillip and Barnum both consented to Deng Yan's addition to the show, considering that she was particularly skilled with flame throwing and fire twirling. Anne was glad that her best friend was able to accompany her to rehearsals and together, they perfected their acts, some extreme and some slow, alongside Lettie, Charles, O'Clancy and Phillip.

Lettie was leading the singers and dancers while Charles played an elephant-riding, gun-holstering general that did many nifty tricks. O'Clancy was to be one of the centre-stage 'oddities' and Phillip was helping to direct the acts.

The more time Anne spent with Phillip, the closer they became. He helped her with her pulleys and hoops and she engaged him in interesting conversations. They sat together at meals, created inside jokes between the two of them and laughed and talked together at every opportunity that presented itself.

Since her dramatic blow-out with Bec, Anne hadn't gotten the chance to talk to him or apologise for her behaviour. He avoided her at every turn and it was getting more and more difficult for Anne to run into him or see him in any way.

What was wrong with Bec and why didn't he like Phillip?

Surely, there had to be a story behind his odd behaviour.

Anne was going to figure out what it was.

But, for now, there were more pressing matters at hand, such as the opening night for the Barnum Show.

That afternoon, a crowd, so thick and dense it overflowed onto the street in front of the museum, gathered outside the doors, eagerly and excitedly awaiting for the promised show to began.

The remaining hours before show-time was an absolute frenzy with people flitting in between rooms and primping themselves up in front of the mirrors.

Anne, her stomach a churning mess, had just escaped out from beneath the hands of the make-up artists crowding the dressing room. Trying to keep her panic levels on the low, Anne hid herself in a dark closet beneath the stairs. Breathing in and out seemed to soothe her jumpy nerves but the moment her mind closed in on the thought of the large audience awaiting her outside, she became a horrendous wreck once more.

"Hello? Is someone in here?"

With a sigh, Anne snapped herself out of her pitiful state and pushed open the door. "Lettie?"

"Hey kid. I thought you'd be in there," the bearded woman smiled unabashedly at the lass. "You feeling alright?"

Anne swallowed and shrugged. "I - I'm not sure. I've worked so hard for this moment, Lettie, I don't want to mess it up."

Lettie frowned and placed a reassuring hand on Anne's shoulder. "You're not going to mess it up, sweetie. You're going to steal the hearts of everyone in New York. This is your time. Make it about you. So, go out there and show the world what you've got."

Anne smiled up at her, immediately feeling better. "Okay. Okay. I'll do it."

As the gymnast, girded in a purple leotard and taffy wig, flew out on her suspended hoop to meet the stamping, cheering audience later that evening, all nerves seemed to lose their grip on her.

As the singers belted out the beautiful strains to a familiar melody and the dancers swirled in sync around Barnum, donned in a red-trimmed suit, Anne pushed herself to her limits. She felt as light as a feather as she twirled and danced, spun and rotated, flew through rings of fire and pushed her body into flips and curving swings.

When she let go off the bar and landed on the padded mat situated on the sand within the arena, just in time to bow with the rest of the performers, she felt a sense of pride waft through her as she watched the spectators erupt into a raging frenzy of cheers and applause.

She had done it.

She had performed in her very first show!

As she walked out of the arena, alongside Charles and Lettie, she chanced a quick glance towards the upper rim of the door, only to see Bec's figure framed in an upstairs window.

Time seemed to stand still as she gazed into his deep, chocolate-coloured eyes, ones that were masked with a haze of emotions.

"Come on, Anne! Come on!"

Startled, Anne turned to see that Lettie and Charles were already five paces ahead of her.

Hoping that no one else had noticed her gawking, she quickened her steps and hurried after them, watching, out of the corner of her eye, as Bec disappeared from view.

Gif: Bec as he stands at the window.

Question of the update: What would you do if you saw someone suffering from an anxiety attack?

XX