Uncontrolled Desires

Summary: Dan is jealous. He's jealous because he fancies Phil's girlfriend and he's jealous because Phil never spends time with him anymore. He finally speaks his feelings when they go to a party.

Words: 2593

Dan glared at the two entwined hands across from him. He tried his best to block out the sweet nothings that were whispered in the coupe's ears. He scoffed at one point but luckily the two seemed too infatuated with each other to notice. 

Dan glanced at Emily, sighing as her beautiful smile was aimed at Phil and not him. He wished he could make Emily that happy. Since she had started hanging out with them Dan had a huge crush on her ... but Phil was the one who ended up with her. 

Dan felt the jealousy rise like unwanted bile in his throat when he saw Emily curl into Phil's side. This wasn't the only reason he was mad, he was third wheel ALL the time. Phil was with Emily now, all the time and he never has any time for Dan, which hurt. Dan and Phil were tight but ever since Emily walked into their life it fucked up and quite rapidly.

Dan told himself he shouldn't like his best friend's girlfriend but emotions are a hard thing to control. He told himself he was happy that Phil was spending time with and looking after Emily and felt selfish when he complained about how lonely he was feeling inside. These things were tearing Dan apart and he needed a release and SOON.

He called PJ up, leaving the room so he wouldn't vomit at the sight of Phil and Emily snogging. He waited impatiently as the phone rang and let out a sigh in relief when the other picked up.

"Dan!" PJ replied excitedly. "That's so weird, I was about to call you! I'm here with some friends, you want to join us for a party? Phil and Emily can come too!" He spoke enthusiastically, clearly not completely sober.

"Sure man, that's just what I need. See you in a bit, your place right?"

"Yup, see ya!" With that Dan felt happy about the fact he could relax and drink with his friends without having these stressing thoughts. He walked back into the room, happy to see Emily and Phil weren't sucking faces.

"PJ invited us to his party, I'm going now. Do you guys wanna come?" Dan's voice was monotone, not actually caring whether they tagged along at all. He was fed up with them being so lovey dovey and sick of being alone half the time. He even considered moving out at one point but immediately reconsidered. Phil was still a big part of his life and eventually they might be able to sort something out.

Dan impatiently waited as Emily went off to find her bag and was left with Phil. Phil immediately noticed that Dan was irritated by the way his foot tapped impatiently and the frustrated crease in his brow. 

"You okay?" Phil asked. Dan wanted to laugh harshly. He thought this was probably the first time Phil had acknowledged him in a week. However, he couldn't be bothered to be interviewed by Phil.

"Just peachy." He replied wearing one of the fakest smiles he has ever pulled, the action raising suspicion in Phil. Something was definitely up with Dan and Phil was determined to find out what but before he could ask Emily walked out, shouting a 'ready'.

Phil noticed how quickly Dan was out the door and walked far in front of of Phil and Emily. Usually Phil would be listening to Emily and kissing her but he was concerned about Dan's behavior. He felt like he haden't actually talked to Dan in ages and a sudden wave of panic washed over him. Was Dan mad at him? Was he happy to be rid of Phil? Was he moving out? 

Phil felt guilt, panic and disbelief sink in and he felt like he was going to hyperventilate. He loved Emily, a whole lot, but Dan was very important and Phil couldn't believe how little he had thought about him in the last few weeks of Phil and Emily's relationship. Even though Emily was attached to Phil's arm, acting all cute and cuddly Phil's attention was on the back of Dan's head which was hung low on his hunched shoulder, clear misery in his posture. 

Phil's about to tell Emily he was going to have a chat with Dan but Dan disappears inside an open door where music is blaring. He was too late, they were at the party and he probably wouldn't see Dan again until later. He sighed, feeling a lot worse than he had earlier that day.

. . .

A lot of people were gathered in a circle in PJ's living room. Phil didn't like the game at all but Emily begged him to play and eventually gave in. Phil still haden't seen Dan all night so he feels a small amount of relief when he sees Dan join the circle, bottle in hand but a frown on his features. Clearly he wasn't satisfied at how sober he still was, Phil guessed.

After twenty minutes of endless dares and spin the bottle, it was Phil's turn and he sighed. Emily jumped about excitedly. She grinned almost evilly and shot her hand up. "I HAVE A DARE!" She shouted, making me wince at the volume. She had everyone's attention.

"I dare you, Phil Lester, to snog Dan!" She giggled. Phil's eyes widened to saucers as he looked over at Dan who had a similar horrified expression on his face. 

"No!" Dan protested. Phil kept quiet, not sure what to do.

"Come on Dan, it's a dare. No one else has backed down, don't be a chicken, it doesn't have to be long. A quick french kiss!" Chris egged on. Dan huffed out an angry sigh, he was angry with Phil, he didn't need to be kissing him. The thought was really awkward. He gave in when the judging stares became too irritating.

"Fine, fine!" Dan growled, making the others cheer. Dan begrudgingly looked at Phil who looked terrified. Something in Dan softened, not completely because he was still mad, but a scared Phil was never fun to watch. He hesitantly crawled over to Phil, who looked at Emily as if double checking. Emily however watched eagerly.

Phil gulped and faced Dan who pulled an awkward face. Dan breathed out and back through his nose before speaking. "Sorry in advance." Dan grumbled and without another word, pressed his lips to Phil's. Phil was so surprised that he didn't respond at first. His eyes looked at Dan ... DAN! Who had closed his eyes and was pressing his lips firmly against his. He felt a weird tingly feeling and his eyes drooped as Dan's lips began to move on his, the gesture becoming more enjoyable.

"COME ON PHIL!" He heard someone encourage since he wasn't very responsive so he let his eyes fall shut and moved his lips back with Dan's. His lips were warm and soft and there was a small taste of alcohol although it made the kiss tingle in a pleasurable way.

"MORE TONGUE!" Someone else shouted, making the others go hysterical. Dan groaned in frustration internally at their childish requests although he couldn't help find himself getting into the kiss. It's not like he could help it. It was such an intimate gesture and he couldn't help the small butterflies which pooled into his stomach. Fulfilling their requests he ran his tongue along the seem of Phil's lips and was surprised at how eagerly Phil opened up which allowed him to slide his tongue in.

Phil wanted to moan as Dan's tongue touched his but he was still half aware that he was surrounded by people. The kiss just felt so meaningful and he couldn't get enough of it. For some weird reason kissing Dan was amazing and he wanted more. He didn't know what had come over him. He was with Emily, the one he was sure he loved, yet here was kissing his best friend willingly in front of his girlfriend. At this thought he knew he'd have to pull away or people would start to get suspicious. They had been going at it for nearly two minutes now. 

Phil sucked on Dan's tongue and then his bottom lip, pulling away from the kiss, nipping before pulling away. They both panted heavily as the others cheered in triumph. Dan and Phil slowly opened their heavy lidded eyes coming back from a state of bliss before everything caught up with them. Dan coughed and averted eye contact, feeling embarrassed at the fact he enjoyed kissing his best friend, his best friend who was a male. He felt extremely confused and needed to get his thoughts straight.

Phil was weirdly congratulated from Emily who said it was 'adorable' which was a questionable statement to Phil. He felt confused in his current state, things in his mind not adding up. What had happened in that kiss? Phil turned to look at Dan and panicked when he saw he had gone. Did Dan feel ashamed? He knew he'd need to apologize.

. . .

Phil found Dan about an hour later, a different drink in his hand. Emily was god knows where, all Phil had been thinking about was the kiss and how good it felt. Surely it was just because Dan was a good kisser ... he knew Dan had had a fair amount of experience because lets face it ... Dan was attractive. Phil didn't know how to react when he thought about actually being attracted to Dan and he blamed it on the kiss. 

"Hey." Phil said, snapping Dan out of his day dream. Dan felt awkward, having no idea what to say to Phil. He was embarrassed, not because of all the people or what Phil would think. He was embarrassed because he enjoyed it and the thoughts he was having were confusing him. He was sure he was attracted to Emily but now Phil's image stuck in his mind and wouldn't leave. What was wrong with him?

"Hi." He replied. There was an awkward silence and they both hated it, they used to talk about anything, fill any silence. They were Dan and Phil, they used to be best friends and now ... they needed to be mended.

"Look Dan-" Before Phil could start however, a group of people stumbled in laughing and pointing. 

"Hey boys! We're playing seven minutes in heaven and guess who's names were picked out the glass!" Chris slurred, showing two bits of paper with Dan and Phil's names on them.

"Oh come we've already ..." Dan trailed off, feeling awkward saying it out loud.

"NO EXCUSES! TO THE CUPBOARD!" PJ yelled and grabbed Phil whilst Chris grabbed Dan. Before the two boys could do anything they were both stuffed in the hallway storage cupboard with not a lot of space. After the giggling behind the door died down and the others left they were alone again.

"Look Dan I know it was awkward and I'm sorry." Phil explained.

"It's fine." Dan mumbled, although it was clear that he was angry. He was still pissed off at Phil.

"No it's not, you've been angry all afternoon, tell me why!" Phil pleaded.

"Why should I tell you?" Dan snapped, making Phil feel hurt.

"Because I'm your best friend Dan."

"Ha! You could have fooled me!" Dan chuckled harshly.

"What do you mean?"

"I MEAN WHAT THE FUCK PHIL? AS SOON AS YOU GOT A GIRLFRIEND I'M NOTHING TO YOU. SOMEONE YOU CAN BLOW OFF AND THINK THEY WON'T MIND BECAUSE YOU'RE ONLY LOOKING OUT FOR YOUR GIRLFRIEND! I HAVE FEELINGS PHIL!" Dan suddenly exploded.

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to, but she is still my girlfriend and I'll defend her now. I need to spend time with her and I get distracted! I'm sorry I haven't been spending much time with you but even when we were first together you've been grumpy and miserable so whats up with you?!"

"None of your business! I don't need your help!"

"YES YOU DO! DAN YOUR MY BEST FRIEND, I'M SORRY I HAVEN'T BEEN LOOKING AFTER YOUR SORRY ASS, BUT MAYBE YOU SHOULD LEARN TO BE A BIT MORE INDEPENDENT AND NO RELY ON OTHERS!"  Dan felt like he had been slapped in the face.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU ON? I DON'T DEPEND ON YOU, IF I DID THEN I'D BE DEAD CONSIDERING HOW MUCH TIME YOU EVEN BOTHERED TO SAY AT LEAST HELLO IN THE MORNINGS!" 

"OH YOU WANT A HELLO? HELLO DANIEL, HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU? STILL BEING A DICK HEAD I SEE?"

"FUCK OFF! MAYBE I SHOULD MOVE OUT, CLEARLY THIS ISN'T WORKING OUT!" Dan shouted. Through out the entire arguments they had both managed to get closer until their angry breaths were mixing, cold eyes fixed on each other. There was all types of tension in the air, and it was getting hot in there. Even though Dan was furious with Phil he could sense a bit of excitement from being this close to Phil again. It only took a glance at each others lips and suddenly Phil had Dan pinned against the cupboard wall.

Their lips locked and moved hungrily with each other, the fury being put into action as Phil kissed him hard against the wall. Dan couldn't help moan, opening his mouth and letting Phil's tongue slide in to battle with his own. Dan's hands slithered up to Phil's hair, pulling his face even closer. Their teeth clashed as they angrily sucked at each other's lips until the aggression turned more passionate. 

When they pulled away Phil went straight to attacking Dan's neck, eliciting immediate groans of appreciation as he sucked, licked and bit on the sensitive area. Dan found himself unconsciously bucking his hips up, craving friction. Phil moaned as he felt the friction of Dan's crotch against his own, lust taking over his actions.

Somehow they had gone to distant friends, to arguing, to desiring each other badly. After some more grinding and passionate smacks Phil pulled away, forehead leaning against Dan's. "Please don't leave." Phil whispered, words woven with pain. Dan saw the panicked expression on Phil's face and felt his anger drain away. How long did it take him to realize he loved him? He couldn'y leave Phil, not now. 

"I won't." He breathed and took Phil's chin, bringing their lips together in a firm but gentle kiss, as if to confirm what he said. When they pulled away Dan frowned, "What about Emily?" He asked, feeling guilty, did he break them up? Did Phil even like him that way? He was so confused.

"Um-"

"Is fine, in fact I made a bet with PJ on how long you two would last. Sorry Phil, I couldn't refuse when you asked ... but you and Dan are perfect." Emily suddenly replied from the doorway. 

"You ... what?" Phil frowned.

She smiled gently, "Goodbye Phil, I wish you and Dan the best of luck." She grinned, kissing him on the cheek then Dan. She left without another word.

"It was a set up?!" Dan exclaimed, feeling so confused.

"To be honest I don't care about that right now." Phil sighed and closed the cupboard door again, making Dan frown. "Now ... where were we?" Phil smirked.

"I think it went something like this." Dan whispered, leaning forward and reconnecting their lips in a sweet kiss.

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Thoughts? I think it turned out quite good :D Anyways, thanks for reading yall!

~HelloAnonymousWriter~