Don't Leave

Words: 2477

Summary: Phil walks into the lounge one day to find Dan searching for 1-bedroom apartments and he panics.

Phil's POV

I yawned and stretched. "I need to stop getting out of bed so late." I thought and slipped my glasses on. Wondering what Dan was doing, I plodded into the lounge to see him sat back on the sofa with his macbook on his lap. "Why am I not surprised?" I smirked.

He jumped a little before smiling sheepishly at me. "You can't expect me to change anytime soon." He retorted before turning back to his computer screen.

"Whatever, coffee?" I yawned once again. "Damn, I really need to go to bed earlier."

"Yes please." He replied without taking his eyes off the screen - seemingly being sucked back in to what he was doing before I walked in. I rolled my eyes and went to the kitchen to make our drinks and some breakfast. I turned the kettle on then grabbed a bowl, spoon, milk and Dan's cereal. I smirked to myself as I poured the contents into the bowl.

"You can't expect me to change anytime soon." I mumbled - repeating Dan's earlier words. Soon enough I had two mugs of coffee and a bowl of cereal. I decided to take Dan's coffee to him first before getting my own and eating whilst checking emails and possibly youtube comments.

I walked back into the lounge and wasn't surprised to see that Dan hadn't moved an inch. I was about to speak until I caught a glimpse of his computer screen. My eyes widened in shock as I saw what website he was on. He was searching for 1 bedroom apartments. I nearly dropped the mug of coffee as a panic washed over me. "Dan wouldn't leave me, would he?" I thought as I nearly started to hyperventilate.

In my state of panic I quickly put Dan's coffee on the coffee table and started to leave the room - not even acknowledging Dan's 'thank you' as I sped back to the kitchen. I leaned against the counter with a slightly horrified expression. After everything we'd been through, was he finally leaving? I gulped and clenched my fists - he could have told me. I glared at my bowl of cereal and angrily poured it down the sink. It was a waste but at that moment I didn't want anything to do with Dan if he was being too much of a coward to admit to leaving me. I grabbed my coffee and stormed off to my room with worry still eating away at my gut.

Yes - I was angry but the panic and sadness definitely outnumbered it because I definitely did not want to lose Dan. "Have I done something wrong? Did I forgethis birthday? No - it was last month on June 11th and I definitely got him a present! What if he's just sick of me? Am I too clingy?" Tears welled up in my eyes.

I know I was jumping to conclusions and acting like a cry-baby but Dan and I had gone through so much together and to lose him would be like losing years of me life. We've even come to the same point where we do the same job and do the all the same things. I don't know how I could've functioned properly without Dan since I had had him by my side for so long. He was my companion and I was his.

Dan and Phil.

Phil and Dan.

So why? "Why Dan?"

~

I didn't say a thing, I was waiting to see if he'd tell me or not or if one night he'd pack all his bags and spring it upon me. We were both sat on the couch watching anime like we did every morning but I couldn't enjoy it - not with the knawing anxiety that at any moment Dan could announce he was leaving me.

The doorbell rang and I thought it would be a good excuse to clear my head for a second out of Dan's presence. "I'll get it." I sighed. I noticed Dan's confused expression when I offered without complaining. Usually I'd badger him until he got up and did it. "Maybe he's sick of how childish and lazy I am." I thought sadly as I went down to meet whoever was ringing the bell.

When I opened the door I was met with a middle aged man. "Can I help you?" I asked curiously.

"Uh yeah - we've got some boxes to deliver to this address. Someone called Daniel Howell, are you him?" He asked and pointed to a few of the boxes he had carried in whilst a few others carried some more.

I felt a small scowl make it's way onto my face. "Empty boxes to fill with all his things I'm guessing." I thought bitterly. "No, I'm not Dan. He's my room mate, do you need him to sign something?" I asked with a little venom in my voice.

"No, it's fine. In fact you're signature is enough to just say that we were here." He explained and handed me a clipboard. I gave a sigh, took the offered pen and messily scribbled my signature. "Thank you." the man smiled before wishing me a good day and leaving with the rest of his buddies. I glared at the stacks of empty boxes and angrily slammed the door closed. If the neighbours complain then Dan could deal with it.

I stomped up the stairs with a cowl on my face but took in a deep breath as I approached the lounge. Using all the self control I could, I kept my face neutral and walked in, re-taking my seat next to Dan on the couch.

"Who was it?" Dan asked, not taking his eyes off the screen.

"One of the neighbours." I lied.

Dan turned to me with a raised eyebrow. "What did they want?"

"Just checking up on us." I shrugged and looked down at my lap. "I really need to get rid of this rage." I thought and stood up. "I'm going out - is there anything you want from the shops?" I asked politely . Dan smiled and shook his head. "Alright." and with that I grabbed my phone, keys and wallet and slipped my shoes on.

~

I let out an exhausted sigh as I unlocked the door. The boxes were still there so Dan hadn't left at all. I kicked my shoes off and trudged up the stairs. I had managed to drain myself of the anger but I was left as a tired and sad mess. Why did Dan want to leave me?

I walked into the lounge and saw Dan wasn't there. He was probably in his room. However his open laptop caught my eye. Out of curiosity I glanced at the screen and felt the sadness wash over me again when I saw he was still looking through 1 bedroom apartments in the city. I bit my lip and walked to my room, dumping my jacket and keys on the bed. "Dan, I'm back!" I called out.

"Okay!" He replied from the other room - most likely his own.

I let out a huff of annoyance. "Why can't he just tell me already and spare me the agonising wait of rejection?" I thought in despair. After composing myself and quickly checking emails and social media I was ready to confront Dan again.

I walked into the lounge to see Dan back on his macbook, looking at the screen in concentration. He glanced up for a second with an adorable smile. "How can he smile at me like that?" I thought in confusion. I took a seat next to him and tried to focus on the TV screen but the urge to see if Dan was still looking for another place got the better of me.

I gritted my teeth as I saw him still scrolling through the website. I felt a jolt of hopelessness and panic and, feeling desperate, my body went into autopilot. I quickly jumped to my feet which caught Dan's attention. He looked at me in curiosity as I stood in front of him and looked confused as I pried the laptop form his hands. However he and I were both completely shocked when I automatically straddled his hips, keeping him in place against the sofa.

He stared wide eyed at me and I was internally screaming. I didn't even know what I was doing - I just wanted Dan to stay. Without thinking, I leaned forward and connected our lips. I was probably as surprised as Dan was because I had no idea I even liked Dan that way. It was just a last desperate attempt to make him stay.

The kiss only lasted for a few seconds before I pulled away. I looked at Dan for a second - witnessing the slow opening of his eyes as they proceeded to show shock and another emotion I couldn't decipher. Feeling embarrassment consume me, I gulped and jumped off his lap and immediately fled to my room. "PHIL YOU IDIOT, WHAT WAS THAT?" I thought in shame as I flopped down face-first onto the bed. "Now he's definitely going to leave!" I thought miserably and felt the tears threaten to spill once again. "Why do I always screw things up?"

After a minute of moping around I heard the slight creak of the floor boards as Dan walked into my room. I cringed and buried my face in the pillow - ashamed to face Dan.

"Phil?" Dan asked softly, laying a hand on my shoulder and making me flinch from his touch. "Phil, please look at me." he asked softly.

"Why isn't he yelling at me?" I thought and reluctantly looked up at him through my lashes. I didn't expect for Dan to grab me and pull me in for a hug so I crashed into his chest, making us both fall back on the bed. My breathing quickened and I stared wide eyed at Dan's shoulder which I was pressed tightly against.

"Why did you do that Phil?" Dan asked, his tone still soft and comforting.

"I d-don't know..." I stuttered which wasn't entirely true. I did it so he wouldn't leave but I also don't know why I chose to kiss him and not just hug him or talk to him.

"Yes you do." Dan encouraged.

"What?" I asked, not knowing what he meant. Dan loosened his hold on me and pulled me upwards so we were eye level. Coincidentally I had ended up straddling Dan's hips again.

"You do know why you did that Phil ..." Dan spoke quietly, looking deeply into my eyes. I felt my heart beat pick up and a flutter in my chest. For some reason the look Dan was giving me had this effect.

"I do?" I replied, not catching on. Dan smiled softly and took my chin between his fingers, tilting it up. Next thing I knew his lips were pressed to mine again. I was surprised but not as surprised as the first time. I actually got to feel Dan's warm lips against my own and for some reason I liked it. They were soft and moved slowly and perfectly against my own. My eyes drooped closed as I lost myself in the feeling. Kissing Dan made butterflies pool in my stomach and I started to realise how much I actually liked it - how much I liked Dan.

As the realisation of my new attraction to Dan settled in, I decided to kiss back with more confidence and found my hands sliding into his hair, feeling the soft strands between my fingers and pulling our faces a little closer.

The kiss was a lot more firm and I pressed up against Dan more, wanting to be close and feel all of him. I didn't know why it took so long for me to feel attracted to Dan because as he was kissing me I couldn't think of him as just a friend anymore - I wanted Dan.

Dan eventually pulled away and I inhaled - taking in oxygen that I hadn't realised I had been lacking. There was a gleam in his eyes which made my heart beat go even faster. Both of our cheeks were flushed and Dan's lips were definitely a shade redder than before.

"So ... why did you kiss me Phil?" Dan asked calmly, his voice making me feel relaxed in his presence. He looked at me with a fondness - almost like he was looking at me with love. Did Dan love me?

"I-um ... I didn't want you to leave." I found myself saying.

His eyebrows furrowed. "Leave? Why would I leave?" He asked in confusion. I frowned and even felt a little anger behind the happiness I felt holding and being kissed by Dan.

"You know what I'm talking about." I said, some venom seeping into my words. "You've been looking up one bedroom apartments in the city and a bunch of empty boxes arrived this morning. You're moving out and you didn't tell me." I continued, sadness taking over the anger. I bowed my head and my eyes started to water. "Why would he kiss me if he's leaving me?" 

My chin was tilted up once again and I was met with Dan's concerned expression. "Phil, I swear I'm not leaving! My brother's moving up here and asked me to help him look for a place. I ordered some boxes to help him move his stuff. He's picking them up tomorrow. I was going to tell you earlier but you left." Dan explained, looking at me with panic in his eyes. I stared at him in surprise before groaning and hiding my face in his chest.

"I'm such an idiot." I muttered.

"No." Dan cupped my face and brought my gaze to his once again. "I'm sorry for not mentioning it earlier. I'm sorry if I have caused to panic because you should know that I'd never leave your side Phil and I ..." He trailed off, his cheeks flaring bright pink. He adverted his gaze for a second before looking me straight in the eyes again.

"I-I love you Phil. I have for ages." He stated shyly. I stared in shock and disbelief. I immediately felt bad for not realising my feelings for him earlier because I liked him too. Maybe I didn't love him yet but I was pretty close to it because I had known Dan for a long time.

In reply, I smiled shyly and fitted our lips together again. We both melted into the embrace, getting lost in each other. "I'm sorry for not realising how you felt and making you wait Dan ... I hope forever is enough to make up for it." I mumbled against his lips.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Awwwwww *u*

~HelloAnonymousWriter~