Betrayal

Words: 5335

Summary: Dan and Phil have a horrible breakup in high school. Years later they meet again and Phil is not very forgiving.

"Daaan!" Phil giggled as Dan kissed his neck. "STAHP!" He exclaimed with a grin that hurt his cheeks. Dan laughed into the skin and kissed his way back up to Phil's lips.

"Cute nerd." Dan muttered, eyes soft and full of fondness.

"Dumb jock." Phil stuck his tongue out and poked his boyfriend's dimple. Dan's eyes lit up - it made Phil's heart stutter. How could he find something so perfect so early in his life? He wasn't supposed to know what love was yet whenever he was around Dan he felt complete. Honestly he was surprised they ever got together considering Phil was an arty science geek whilst Dan was a creative jock type.

They were both geeks however.

Phil had went to the cinema to see the new Marvel film and was surprised to see one of the football payers buying his ticket in line. At first Phil was tempted to hide from Dan in case he decided to be a dick. The jocks weren't exactly friendly with him and names were thrown at him on a regular business. He didn't have any classes with Dan but he regularly saw them round the others so Phil expected him to be like them.

When Dan had seen Phil his eyes widened a little before he curiously approached the boy. Phil had tried his hardest not to cower at the time. "Hey, you go my school don't you?" He asked boldly and Phil couldn't see any deceit in his gaze.

"Yeah ..." Phil confirmed, not too sure what to say to the taller boy.

"Do we have classes together?" Dan asked again and Phil thought he imagined the way his eyes trailed Phil's body from head to toe. At first he thought he was being judged for what he wore but for some reason the gaze made the boy heat up rather than shy away. Phil was starting to realize just how attractive the jock was up close.

"No I don't think so." Phil nearly stuttered, wondering why he was even bothering to talk to Phil.

"Shame." Dan grinned before walking off. Phil had stared after him in confusion and slight awe. It was a weird interaction but Phil couldn't help feel a little tingly about how Dan seemed comfortable in his presence and hadn't called him a name. Not to mention the boy was gorgeous. Phil shook off those thoughts, trying not to think about what the boy meant by 'shame' and went to find screen 8.

He luckily snatched a seat in the centre being one of the earlier arrivals and his fingers itched to start snacking on his box of popcorn but he restrained himself knowing that he'd finish before the film even started if he did. He decided to play flappy bird on his phone until the adverts started.

Suddenly someone sat in the seat right next to him and Phil nearly huffed in annoyance . He hated it when people couldn't just find a seat one away from him - especially when the cinema was half empty. He was at a later screening and therefore there shouldn't have been a lot of people. He went to glare at the person beside him but ended up staring wide eyed as Dan sat there smirking.

"What's your high score?" The boy asked with a mouth full of popcorn. Phil frowned at him - at first not understanding what the boy had said since he was still in shock. However the sound of his bird dying on his phone alerted to him what Dan was talking about.

"U-um, 54." Phil flushed a little, still baffled about the fact that Dan wanted to be in his presence.

"What? How the fuck did you get that high?" Dan suddenly exclaimed, turning to Phil and looking at him like he was an alien. This look made Phil uneasy as he'd seen it with a lot more harsh intentions. He shrank away from the gaze and shrugged, eyes turning to stay glued to the phone in his lap. "I can't get past 20 if that. You must be good with your fingers." The jock commented and oh my god did the boy just say that? Phil snapped his gaze to Dan and looked at the boy in shocked mortification.

"Excuse me?" Phil spluttered.

Dan giggled, "I'm just joking Phil."

Phil bristled at the sound of his name. "How'd you know my name?" Phil asked quietly, he didn't seem to know when he met him outside the screen room so thoughts of Dan pretending not to know made Phil worry in case he was planning something bad.

However when he asked the question he was surprised to see the boy blush. "What? I didn't say your name. You must be hearing things." the boy spoke quickly and Phil frowned.

"Yes you did." Phil argued.

"No I didn't" Dan countered with a frown.

"Yes you did." Phil replied childishly which made mischeif flicker in Dan's eyes.

"NO I didn't."

"Yes you did!"

"NO I didn't - are you seriously pouting right now?" Dan asked as a smile snuck on to his face. Phil stopped frowning and realised he indeed was pouting in annoyance. He blushed and realized he'd been bickering childishly with a jock and when the hell had this ever happened to him. He shuffled in his seat in embarrassment. "Adorable." he heard the boy whisper and Phil tensed.

"What?" Phil squeaked. Dan raised an eyebrow.

"I didn't say anything." Dan challenged.

"Yes you did." Phil found himself blurting once again and Dan found himself smiling again.

"Are we really doing this again?" He teased and Phil huffed.

"Not my fault you can't admit you were wrong." Phil mumbled to himself.

"What was that?" Dan hummed and Phil gave him a glare.

"So how do you know my name?" Phil asked, changing the subject. Once again he saw Dan's cheeks go a little pink however he covered it up with a shrug.

"Just knew it from school."

"Then why did you ask me if we went to the same school if you knew who I was?" Phil frowned, slightly surprised that he had built the courage to interrogate a jock who could pound him into the ground.

"Conversation starter?" Dan said but didn't sound sure. Suddenly the lights dimmed and the adverts grinned. "Better turn your phone off." Dan said and changed the subject. However suspicious Phil was he didn't say anymore and enjoyed the film without another word being exchanged throughout the whole thing. Phil did however cast a few glances at the jock and was surprised to find him enjoying the film as much as he did. He didn't know jocks liked superhero films.

As soon as the credits rolled Dan turned to Phil. "That was so cool right? Wasn't iron man the freaking best?" he gushed like they were friends and come together intentionally. Phil was taken aback but found himself agreeing. He and Dan talked about the film as the exited the cinema and Phil was surprised to see him making so many references and acting well ... like a geek.

"Well I should probably get home." Dan mumbled as they exited the building. It was late and the air was chilly. As they breathed clouds of condensation Phil found himself slipping back into his timid shell.

"Well bye." He blurted out and started to walk away, slightly confused with the whole situation. It was honestly bizarre for him to have a good experience with a jock. However he'd only taken two steps before a hand wrapped around his arm. He was turned round and he stared up at Dan in shock as he was very close to him and his face.

"Wait." Dan grinned and suddenly white blocked Phil's vision. He focused on it and saw Dan was holding a piece of paper in front of his face - there was a number scrawled on it. "In case you y'know ... want to talk about the film." Dan grinned before tucking it in Phil's pocket. Phil was so confused.

Phil hadn't called Dan in fear of it being a cruel prank but when he returned to school on Monday, Dan had found him and had managed to get Phil's number out of him. Over the next few weeks Dan had found ways to spend time with Phil - secretly wooing the boy until he finally kissed him. Phil had found his heart beating every time Dan did something sweet and romantic for him and now one year later he was completely head over heels for the boy.

"Don't call me dumb. That's rude." Dan pouted and Phil rolled his eyes before kissing the frown away. Dan sighed into the kiss and threaded his fingers through Phil's hair. "I love you." He mumbled and Phil froze, immediately pulling away from the kiss in shock.

"Pardon?" He almost choked and Dan's face had gone completely red.

"I-I ... I love you?" Dan stuttered, surprised at himself for being the first to say those words. Phil's heart went all fuzzy and a grin spread across his lips - not being able to stop the bursting happiness he felt.

"I love you too." he whispered and Dan seemed to light up. The whole day at school Phil was practically glowing with happiness even though he didn't see Dan at break or lunch, he was still buzzing. His friends all asked if he was high or on drugs by how dazed he acted. However it seemed to wear off near the end of the day when Dan was no where to be seen - he literally hadn't seen him since his confession. He and Dan usually walked home together so he was a little concerned.

'Where ru? xxx <3' Phil sent. Two minutes later he got a reply.

'Sorry had to rush home - business with parents. x' was the reply and Phil's heart drooped a little when he didn't send him a heart like he always did.

"Shut up Phil! You're being paranoid - he told you he loved you. He's probably in shock." Phil thought and walked home. This didn't stop him worrying all night.

The following morning Phil got dressed and had breakfast. He felt relief in his chest when he saw Dan waiting for him outside his house like he usually did in the mornings. He grinned when he opened his front door, jogging over to his boyfriend. He frowned a little when he saw the slight grimace on Dan's lips and the bags under his eyes.

"Hey." Dan said but didn't lean in and give Phil his morning kiss.

"Dan what's wrong?" Phil asked and reached out to stroke Dan's cheek but Dan dodged it. Phil retracted his hand in hurt.

"What's wrong with him?" Phil thought in confusion.

Dan's face suddenly set into a hard line. "Phil ... I've cheated on you multiple times." Dan said.

Phil felt like he'd been shot in the chest. Tears immediately pricked his eyes and his heart had picked up erratically - it was pounding in his ears. He couldn't believe how hurt and betrayed he felt after loving Dan so much and giving so much of himself to him

"You ... what?" Phil barely whispered

"You just weren't satisfying me Phil.' Dan shrugged and although his eyes were shiny with possible tears, his face was blank and uncaring.

Phil felt his heart break into a million pieces. He was finding it hard to breath like there was this huge weight on his chest. However he began to feel his blood boil and a new emotion took over the shock - anger. Phil glared at Dan fiercely. He felt so betrayed - only the day before had Dan said he loved him, was that all a lie too?

"It is not my job to satisfy you Daniel! We were in a relationship because I thought we loved each other - not so you could have sex with me. I can't believe I thought you'd be different from the rest of them! YOU FUCKING JOCKS ARE ALL THE SAME!' Phil suddenly shouts with a surprisingly strong voice.

Dan looked a little surprised and swallowed when Phil started to swear as he never swore - he broke his blank face only to look down in shame

"So you never loved me? Is that it? You just played with my feelings so you could get in my pants?" Phil ranted, not really wanting him to answer. Dan lifted his head and looked like he was about to protest but Phil jumped in, "You're disgusting!" Phil spat icily and Dan stiffened, tears reaching his eyes. He quickly hid them so Phil wouldn't see. "I HATE YOU!" Phil screamed as tears ran down his own cheeks.

Dan looked up in shock, tears now also escaping - he hadn't expected those words from Phil and they hurt more than he'd imagined. "Ph-" Dan started shakily in a quiet voice but Phil didn't hear and he jumped right back in.

"Don't talk to me ever again, don't you dare come near me or even look in my direction! I never want to see you again!" Phil snapped coldly - his eyes hard and the tears drying on his face. Phil wanted to make Dan hurt like he had hurt him. He wanted to make him feel the pain he had felt when the one he loved betrayed him.

Dan stared wide eyed and nodded as two more tears escaped his eyes. He then watched as Phil turned his back on him and walked away. As soon as Phil was out of sight Dan broke down into sobs - his legs giving way and causing him to sit on the pavement crying. He hugged his knees. He didn't care who saw.

"I love you Phil." He cried

TIME SKIP

"And that's all for today Phillions, have an amazing week and I'll see you next Friday at 9pm. Now, to play us out, Emperor's new clothes by Panic! at the disco." Phil said into the mic and pressed a few buttons. Phil then removed his headphones and waved at the cameras that were filming him live. He crouched down under the desk before crawling out of the camera's view.

He giggled and stood up as his producer, Faith, approached. "Nice as always Lester keep up the work." Faith grinned and Phil high fived her.

"Thank you." Phil grinned.

"This was the most listeners we've had yet so the show must be getting out there. I won't be surprised if you go into full time soon." Faith explained and Phil grinned in excitement.

"Wow really? You think I'd be good full time?" Phil asked eagerly.

"Of course, now you better head, our next presenters will be here soon.' Faith suggested and gave him one more congratulatory pat on his shoulder before walking off to set up for the next show. Phil said his goodbyes to the rest of the staff before leaving the studio.

The pay for his radio show was quite good especially since it was gaining popularity however he worked at the library four days of the week to make sure he could keep up with rent and bills. If Phil went full time then rent wouldn't be a problem so he was keeping his fingers crossed. He decided to walk back home through the park since it was a clear starry night and looked beautiful.

He was walking by the pond when he caught sight of a dark figure hunched on a bench. Phil frowned and cautiously approached it as the person could be hurt or homeless. "Hello? ... Are you alright sir?" Phil asked as he approached the figure on the bench who was dressed in all black and had his head in his hands.

"Please leave me alone." The man groaned.

"I can't until I know you're not hurt sir." Phil stated determinedly.

"I'm not hurt." The man said and took his hands away from his face but kept his gaze on the ground.

"Alright then are you ok? You look troubled." Phil frowned, he couldn't help it - he was naturally caring.

The man lifted his head up to look at Phil but Phil couldn't make out his features too well - he could only make out the dark hair cut into a similar fringe to Phil's and dark eyes. "You're a little nosy aren't you?" The man smirked but it looked tired.

"I'd like to think of it as trying to help." Phil chuckled, not really offended by the man's comment as sarcasm may have been the man's coping mechanism.

"Yeah well I doubt there's anything you could do - my girlfriend broke up with me." The man shrugged with a sigh.

"Oh." Phil bit his lip and cautiously sat next to the man, "am I allowed to ask what happened?" Phil asked cautiously.

The man glanced at him before sighing, "she fell for someone else in short."

"That's rubbish." Phil frowned, not liking people who pretended to love others.

"Yeah, she says she never cheated on me but I don't believe her, I was always curious as to where she went whenever she had a business trip since she never told me. I didn't want to be that guy though so I trusted her - look where that's got me." The man huffed.

"I hate cheaters." Phil stated, feeling a fire in his chest for the man. He had despised cheaters after experiencing it in the last year of high school.

"Me too, if they aren't happy they shouldn't  drag people along and hurt them because they can't  let go."

"I agree, I'm sorry this happened to you ... What's your name?" Phil asked, looking at the man with understanding.

"I'm Dan, what's yours?"

"I'm Phil, nice to meet you." Phil smiled then realized it was getting late, "Look I have to get home and feed my cat but if you ever need to talk about it - here's my number." Phil said as he wrote it down.

Dan took it and smiled at Phil, "Thank you." He chuckled.

"Look I've been cheated on also  and I know how you must feel, if you ever want to talk about it just text me." Phil offered.

"I will." Dan nodded, now grinning.

"Night." Phil smiled and waved as he went. Dan didn't reply but he waved Phil off. Phil arrived home with a smile on his face - happy to help someone in any way he could. He fed his cat 'Haku' which he got from Spirited Away.

~

It was a Saturday morning. Phil rolled out of bed, groggily making his morning coffee and a bowl of cereal. He sat down in his lounge where Haku was curled up ready for their morning anime marathon. Suddenly his phone buzzed and there was a text.

'Hey Phil, it's bench boy. I was wondering if you'd like to go out for a coffee and chat? Dan.'

Phil giggled at "bench boy" before replying: 'I'd love to Dan, does the coffee shop across from HMV and forbidden planet sound okay? Phil.'

Dan's reply was almost immediate, 'I know where you mean and yes that's perfect (especially when I can escape to Forbidden planet and obsess over everything) Does 1 sound good for you? Dan.'

Phil grinned, it seemed he and Dan already had a bit in common. 'That sounds great (I'll be obsessing with you) See you then. Phil.'

Phil finished his breakfast quickly and went to have a shower and change. He felt a little eager to meet this person. There was something about Dan that was drawing him in and Phil kind of wanted to find out what. It wasn't long until they met up at the coffee shop.

"Hey Phil." Dan grinned and holy shit this boy was attractive. Now that the day light was highlighting his features Phil could drink in his good looks and holy shit Phil's heart needed to calm down. They ordered their coffees and found a booth near the window.

"So, what did you want to talk about?" Phil asked as he took in Dan's image properly this time. He had chestnut hair and chocolate eyes as well as peachy skin and adorable dimples. Oh god dimples. He was yet again wearing all black - a plain black Tee with a black denim jacket and black skinny jeans.

Dan wrapped his slender fingers round his coffee cup, "Well I thought we should get to know each other more before we jump into the deep stuff." He answered a little anxiously.

Phil felt his chest swell a little and he grinned, "Alright." Phil agreed.

Dan smiled, "Alright what's your  favourite colour?"

Phil giggled, "Wow, clearly starting with the important questions."

"Of course." Dan smirked and Phil thought he oddly suited it with his pink lips slightly crooked and - Phil stopped himself thinking of Dan's lips.

"Well my favourite colour is Purple, would yours be black by any chance?" Phil asked with a raised eyebrow.

"You would be correct - I also like brown." Dan confirmed and took a sip of his coffee, "how old are you?"

"I'm 23." Phil smiled and Dan's eyes raised a little.

"Really? Me too."

Phil's eyes widened slightly. "You look younger." Phil said with surprise.

"I hope that's a compliment." Dan chuckled.

Phil grinned, "Of course it was." Dan blushed a little. They exchanged some more small talk before they started to get into more detail about their lives and school.

"Yeah I had a nasty break up in the last year of school - he had cheated on me." Phil explained, grip tightening around his cup. He hated remembering it as he felt like someone was poking his heart with hot poker every time. It was the first time he'd ever felt so betrayed. However he wanted the man to feel like he could relate and trust Phil.

"I'm sorry to hear that, this guy was a dick to have done that to you." Dan frowned and Phil smiled in thanks.

"So what was her name?" Phil asked as he referred to Dan's ex.

"Cara, although ... I suppose I was never actually invested in our relationship." Dan admitted with a sigh.

Phil frowned, "Why's that?"

Dan bit his lip and shifted in his chair, "Well ... It's stupid." He flushed.

"I promise I won't judge, it's probably not stupid Dan." Phil reassured.

Dan nodded slowly, "Well I've kind of not got over this relationship I had in high school ..." Dan trailed off, flushing in embarrassment.

"Aw." Phil cooed, thinking it was more adorable than embarrassing.

Dan sighed, "I was completely in love with him - more than I thought was possible for a teenager since we weren't supposed to know what love really was ... I know I loved him though. He was perfect in every way - just perfect for me and I was completely smitten." Dan smiled a little dreamily as he explained.

Phil smiled before asking, "So what happened?"

Dan's smile disappeared and he looked sadly into his coffee, "I lied to him to protect him ... but it backfired and I ended up hurting him." Dan explained.

Phil was silent, not knowing what to say, "I ... I'm sorry."

"I know I deserved his verbal abuse after lying to him but then ... then he said he hated me and it stung so much, it felt like he had ripped a part of my soul away ... I guess I never really got over hurting such a perfect person." Dan wiped his eye as a tear escaped. Although Phil's heart went out to Dan he also had this nagging feeling that this situation sounded all too familiar. "Sorry for dumping all this on you." Dan smiled sadly. "I haven't really talked about it before."

"No it's fine." Phil smiled, "I know what it's like to lose someone who you thought would love you forever ... funnily enough mine happened in high school also. Guess we were both a little naive when it came to that department." Phil returned Dan's sad smile.

"Yeah." Dan agreed quietly.

Both their coffees were finished, "Well I'd love to keep talking but I actually have to go meet someone else - basically I promised my friend Chris I'd help him move in." Dan admitted. "I just wanted to talk to you today."

Phil felt a little disappointed as he enjoyed talking with Dan and ... Okay maybe he fancied him in the slightest. "Okay well I have your number so text me if you want to meet in the future." Phil said.

"Same." Dan agreed.

"Now's your chance to change your contact name though, I've got you as bench boy." Phil laughed.

"Oh god. Well my full name is Dan Howell but you can just put me down as Dan the man." Dan chuckled.

Phil froze and stared at Dan wide eyed. Dan Howell? That Dan Howell? He knew the first name was the same but there were plenty of people with that name. The last name though - Phil could finally connect the dots. He looked very different but at the same time Phil could see everything that made him the same. He swallowed as he felt that weight on his chest.

"Phil are you alright?" Dan asked in concern.

Phil sucked in a breath, blood going cold and his heart beat picking up, "Phil Lester." Phil stated coldly.

Dan stiffened and he stared at Phil in shock, 'W-what? Y-you ... him ... Phil?' He spluttered. He finally connected the dots - he hadn't recognised him as his hair was short and dyed black. Not to mention he was broader and all-in-all much more grown up looking. His eyes though - he couldn't believe he didn't recognise those beautiful eyes.

"Yeah, him." Phil glared and abruptly stood up, gathering his things and storming out.

"WAIT! Phil!" Dan called and rushed after him - he needed to explain himself.

Phil ignored Dan's calls. He felt like an idiot for fancying that jerk again. It was like fate was playing a cruel joke on him. He hadn't really recognised Dan because of the shorter hair, gained height and fuller form - he looked grown up and annoyingly insanely attractive as always.

"Phil please! Let me explain, it happened so long ago! Please can we just talk?" Dan pleaded as he caught up.

"Why should we?" Phil snapped.

"Because I was a twat and a shit and a fucking idiot and you have every right to hate me but can we please just talk? You can hate me as much as you want afterwards." Dan continued to beg.

Phil stopped with a sigh and sat at a park bench, looking at Dan coldly yet expectantly. Dan sighed with relief and took a seat next to him. "What do you mean you were protecting me by lying to me? You were just lying to me to gain sympathy weren't you?" Phil suddenly jumped in - angry at Dan's description of their relationship.

"I wasn't lying!" Dan exclaimed.

"Yeah right, so lying to me about sleeping with a bunch of people was supposed to protect me." Phil snorted, feeling his anger rise.

"No Phil, that's not what I meant. I meant that I lied about cheating on you." Dan insisted in frustration.

Phil was momentarily taken aback before he scoffed, "Yeah right, like I'm going to believe that. You told me to my face that I wasn't satisfying you." Phil rolled his eyes - not believing he was having this conversation 5 years later. He wouldn't fall for the second jock a second time, he wouldn't!

"Phil ... I really didn't sleep with anyone, I only said it to drive you away." Dan said quietly - not wanting to shout anymore.

"That's stupid, why would you want to drive me away if you were so happy? You fucking told me you loved me the fucking day before!" Phil spat - it just didn't make any sense.

"Because you were in danger ok?!" Dan suddenly snapped. Phil's eyes widened and a lump formed in his throat. "Look the jocks didn't like me hanging out with you and they threatened you, they said they'd hurt you if I didn't stay away. They had been telling me for months to just dump you so they changed tactics and threatened you instead. Then my father found out I was gay and he wasn't accepting at all - he was abusive for a little while and was always threatening me and you so ... To keep you safe I needed to hurt you - and bad otherwise you wouldn't have left." Dan sighed, leaning back against the bench and pinching the bridge of his nose.

Phil swallowed - he didn't know what to believe, "I can't trust you ..." Phil whispered shakily.

Dan looked at him as a tear rolled down his cheek, "I know." Dan mumbled and pushed his hair back, "I just wanted you to hear the truth after all this time - I mean we're no longer in school and I don't live with my father anymore so there's no need to drag the lie out." Dan explained.

Phil didn't know what to say. He felt a tug in his heart for Dan and how he had possibly protected him and endured the pain for him but at the same time it could've all been a sick joke which made his stomach twist. He wanted to believe him but ... those words had been a huge blow for him.

"I meant what I said in the cafe - I really am still hung up on you, but clearly that wouldn't work so ... wow two heart breaks in the span of two days. I think that's a new record." Dan chuckled humourlessly before getting to his feet.

He wasn't even looking at Phil anymore, "Bye." He muttered before walking away. Phil's heart ached with every step he took away from him - his mind was going crazy with conflict. He wanted to hate him but he seemed so sincere which meant Dan took beatings from his father and kept Phil out of harm from the jocks. Phil couldn't stop the warm bubbly feeling in his chest and he remembered just how much he loved Dan and how he wanted to be with him forever.

He bit his lip, mind still whirring - he couldn't trust Dan fully yet but he wanted to trust Dan again which made Phil feel so confused. "Oh fuck it!" Phil thought and then he was on his feet running after Dan and calling his name.

Dan immediately stopped and turned round in surprise as Phil caught up. He smiled a little but not for long as he was suddenly slapped in the face. He gawped at Phil in surprise - cupping his stinging cheek.

"That's for lying to me!" Phil exclaimed and Dan turned opened his mouth to argue but then there was heat covering his lips and Phil was kissing him and holy shit he had missed his warmth. He threaded his fingers into Phil's hair - getting used to the soft and slightly shorter strands.

Phil kissed Dan with his pent up frustration and passion for the boy. Dan made him go nuts but he was addictive and Phil was pretty sure the feelings would never really disappear. They had stayed strong but dormant for 5 years despite losing some impact from the false betrayal. Once they pulled away Phil sighed and rested his forehead on Dan's, "I'm giving you a chance to get me to trust you again, don't screw it up okay?" Phil mumbled.

Dan beamed, "Okay! I'll take whatever I can get." He urged and then they were kissing again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Just some drabble for you.

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~HelloAnonymousWriter~