IM NOT DEAD LOL JUST REALLY UNMOTIVATED (took me literally like 4 months to finish this)

another pastel!dan and punk!phil because i fucking LOVE this au

also this one is about getting tattoos too? lol ok

btw near the end of the middle kinda it says something about shaving the spot before tattooing, idk i looked up shit for this one shot and one article said they shave the area around it. it might be wrong, but i'm too lazy to change it so just ignore it if it ruffles your feathers that much.
---

"dan, truth or dare?"

dan's head snapped up, watching as the small group stared at him, waiting for a response. he was kind of zoned out at the moment, he wasn't focusing on his words or his surroundings.

chris, pj, and louise had begged and pleaded for him to join them for a 'sleepover' (what were they, twelve?), and dan had kindly denied many times, but it was when they had started coming in to his apartment at random times during the night that he had finally agreed. he had shown up expecting to maybe watch netflix, or possibly a board game, but no. here they were, smoking weed that chris had gotten from god knows where, drinking some cheap ass liquor that pj had brought, and playing truth or dare after a couple games of uno, courtesy of louise. dan had kind of sort of been forced into smoking (they were all more than a little drunk, dan wasn't going to sue them or anything), and it was his first time so he was a bit high, but did it feel amazing. he hadn't felt this relaxed in his life. it was pretty hard to focus on anything pj was saying, though.

"uhh, dare."

it came out as more of a question than an answer, and dan automatically regretted saying it. why the hell did he say dare? anything pj came up with would be crazy when he was sober, but now he was drunk AND high. great.

"i dare you," pj slurred, "to get a tattoo. on your wrist. of a rose, because you're into that pastel junk."

dan sat up straight and his eyes widened of their own accord. no way in hell was he going through with this. he was scared to death of needles, he wasn't ready for a tattoo!

"why the wrist?" chris asked, eyes heavy.

pj shrugged, "i don't know. why not?"

"a tattoo?!" dan said rather loudly, making the three jump, "i can't get a tattoo! needles terrify me, and you know that. nuh-uh, no way in hell."

"hey, you're the one who chose dare, dan," chris pointed out.

pj sat up a bit and pointed at louise (well, kind of), "we'll go tonight. louise, you drive, you're the most sober. take us to the tattoo shop, baby."

since dan obviously wasn't going to agree to getting a tattoo, pj and chris thought of the amazing idea of tying dan up against his will and forcing him into the car. of course, dan was pissed, but what was he going to do?

"if i live through this, i'll make sure you guys don't," dan muttered from the back seat.

"you're not going to die from a tattoo, dan," chris said.

"well then you'll all be dead," dan snapped back, annoyed.

"calm down, calm down. it's just a tattoo, you'll be fine."

dan peeked up, "louise, you're half sober! why are you just going with this?!"

"because it's funny. and in the morning i can say i was drunk off my tits so i couldn't help what i was doing."

dan huffed and rolled his eyes, "yeah, like i totally won't remember you saying this."

they finally pulled up to the tattoo parlor, chris and pj ecstatic, louise mildly excited, and dan angry and annoyed. pj opened the back door and dan immediately leapt out of the car, making a run for it. chris grabbed him by his pastel pink sweater, pulling him back to them.

"nice try, dan."

dan pushed chris's hand off of him, checking that he hadn't stretched his sweater. lucky for chris, he did not. also lucky for chris, dan's flower crown did not fall off his head and into the water on the ground from the rain earlier.

they all walked up to the door, checking the hours.

"sweet, they don't close for another two hours," chris said.

"what kind of tattoo place is open until midnight?" pj asked in response.

"this one, apparently."

"i hope they take walk ins, because we did not make an appointment."

i hope they don't, dan thought.

louise opened the door, the bell above it ringing to signal someone was entering.

phil got off of tumblr to greet the people who had walked in. he took a quick glance at them before closing the tab.

"hello, how may i help you?" he asked, grabbing a pen just in case. he sat up straighter, trying to look at professional as possible. he searched for a note pad (again, just in case) and finally took the chance to actually look at them. he scanned their faces, his eyes landing on an adorable boy in a light pink sweater, a flower crown, and.. ropes?

"what's with the ropes?" phil subtly felt for his phone, finding it in his pocket. he quietly set it on the counter beside his computer, trying to keep it out of their sight in case they tried anything. he was ready to call the police.

dan followed the man's hand with his eyes down to his side, watching as he pulled his phone out of his pocket. this guy was slick, but dan wasn't drunk and/or high like pj, chris, and louise. he felt his heart rate pick up speed.

"woah, hey, no need for that."

phil's eyes met his, his hand slowly drawing away from his phone. pj, chris, and louise had been looking around the parlor, chatting with each other and pointing out things they thought were cool, while phil had pulled out his phone and dan had watched. now they were all looking at phil, phil glaring back.

dan sighed, looking at the restraints. he really didn't want to get a tattoo, but he also didn't want to get his friends arrested, especially when they weren't sober.

he lifted his hands up, showing off the rope more, "this is a joke, don't call the police."

phil slowly stood up, walking around the counter to dan. he pulled out a pocket knife, opening it quickly. dan flinched and the others took a step back. phil cut the restraints, taking the rope and closing his knife. dan rubbed his wrists.

"thank you. i promise, it's nothing serious. it's all in good fun," dan said.

"if your friends were sober, i would've called the police."

"you know we're not sober?" pj asked, looking a bit on edge.

phil rolled his eyes, "just because i wear contacts doesn't mean i'm blind. i know when someone's drunk. or high. and you lot are both. don't worry, i'm not calling the cops, i've had that happen to me before, and i know it sucks."

they all let out a sigh of relief, and phil chuckled.

"anyway, what can i help you guys with tonight?"

"uhh," chris hesitated, trying to form a sentence in his head, "do you take walk ins?"

phil thought about it. he was appointment only, but he related to these people in a way, and that boy in the flower crown was super cute.

"i can make an exception, just this once," phil said, "just keep it a secret."

"sweet!" chris said.

"i'll need your ids first, though. i have customers pay before hand, and i ask them for their phone number, if i ever need to reach them in the future. it sounds like a lot, but it's necessary."

dan pulled out his id, chris, pj, and louise pulling theirs out as well. phil checked them and nodded. they finished paying, all of them chipping in since they didn't have enough money individually, and dan suddenly remembered that he was about to get a tattoo

the three started walking, phil and dan staying behind. phil snuck a wink dan's way, dan blushing in response.

"come along, this way, child," phil smirked. he started walking over, dan following closely behind. phil led the four to one of the rooms in the back (sometimes he had people do them out front, but a lot of people preferred to have tattoos done in private, so it had become a habit for phil to walk back there). chris, louise, and pj looked around this room as well, staring in awe all the equipment and artwork on the walls.

"so, what are we going for today?" phil asked as he walked to the other side of the room and put on a pair of rubber gloves.

"danny here's getting a tattoo of a rose," chris said with a cheeky smile. dan shot a glare his way, his eyes saying chris i swear to god i'm going to kill you when we get out of here. phil took a sneak peek at dan, finding his "death glare" very cute.

"'danny'?"phil asked with a grin, getting his supplies ready.

dan turned back to phil, his cheeks beating up a bit because of phil hearing the stupid nickname chris had given him in the tenth grade. how did that name even last all these years? dan had no idea.

"it's a nickname chris gave me in high school. he knows it embarrasses me."

"since high school? that's dedication right there."

dan couldn't think of a response that wasn't "yeah" or "mhm", so phil took his awkwardness (which was hella adorable) as an opportunity to ask where dan was getting his tattoo.

"all right, so obviously you're getting a tattoo, and i've been informed it's of a rose, correct?"

dan nodded, getting more nervous by the second.

"cool. now i just need to know where. arm? leg? ass cheek?"

pj, chris, and louise all busted into laughter as phil grinned and chuckled, dan blushing once again. their laughter died down as dan half made himself say, "on my arm. my wrist.". this was it, it was fucking happening. dan felt as if he was going to throw up any second. he felt the familiar sensation of nausea, the room seeming to have increased to a thousand degrees. as the other three were talking, phil noticed dan's skin turning pale.

"hey, hey, you good?" phil leaned forward and cupped dan's face in his left hand, using his left to feel his forehead. after a second dan registered phil's hands on his face and forced himself to act kind of normal.

he moved his hair to the side, "yeah, i'm fine. i'm just.. really nervous. i'm terrified of needles."

phil's lips rose to a small smile, "it okay, a lot of people are, especially before their first tattoo. these needles aren't like the ones you see at hospitals, though. don't worry, i'll guide you through it."

dan took a deep breath in through his nose, slowly letting it out through his mouth. he wiped his sweaty palms on his jeans, rolling his sweater sleeve up. he reconsidered wearing a sweater. it had gotten hotter (to him) since he walked in, and he knew it was just going to get even warmer as the process went on.

"it's really hot in here," dan said.

"take your sweater off, dude," pj responded.

"no!" dan half yelled. he thought about his tone and reworded his response in a calmer manner, "i don't want to take my sweater off."

"i have a tank top you can borrow, if you want," phil added shyly. he normally spoke with confidence, but, though he would never admit it, he was nervous around dan, and he didn't want to come off as weird offering his shirt to someone he pretty much didn't know.

"could i wear that? i'm going to die of heat stroke if i do this in this sweater."

"uh, y-yeah. one sec," phil slipped out of the room and into his office, digging through his bag of spare clothes he had in the corner. as he searched, he mentally scolded himself for stuttering in front of the boy in the other room. he normally had the whole bad-but-also-really-chill-guy persona down, but sometimes his real self shone through. at those times, you could see the super-kind-hearted-and-sort-of-sensitive phil.

phil found the thin white tank top, exiting his thoughts. it was a lot worse than he remembered. it had paint stains on it, an old barbecue sauce spot (that he had tried to get out many times before, but just couldn't), and it smelled like a stuffy room. he dug through his book bag that he carried around for his body spray, spraying down the shirt a bit. he took a semi-deep breath to calm his nerves a little. he just hoped the boy wasn't completely disgusted.

phil walked out of his office. he took one last glance at the tank top in his hand, regretting choosing that one. he had a perfectly good black one in his book bag, why didn't he choose that one?

he continued walking down the tiny corridor and into the room where dan was. he looked up from the floor (he was a floor watcher when he walked alone) and spotted dan, sitting there, with no shirt on. his whole body heated up immediately, one part in particular, which he did not need right now.

"i thought you weren't going to take your sweater off," louise said, phil standing in the doorway.

"i don't even care at this point. i'm so hot i'd walk around london naked," dan responded.

at this point phil was on the verge of a raging hard on, which would be a major distraction. he used the shirt to subtly cover up his crotch, quickly making his way to his chair.

"here you go," phil handed dan the shirt, dan slipping it over his head, "it's got a few stains, and it smells kind of stuffy, but i promise it's clean."

"i don't even care at this point. let's just get this shit over with," dan said, then thought about his words and tone of voice, "i'm sorry. i just really don't want to do this, and it's really hot in here."

"why are you getting a tattoo if you don't want one?" phil questioned.

"it's a dare," chris chimed in.

"yeah, and dan's backed out of a ton of dares before, and he's like," pj switched to a mocking voice that sounded nothing like dan, "'i'm not backing down from any more dares. i look like a pussy to you guys enough already.'"

"pj, for the last time, i do not sound like that!" dan huffed. he was getting very stressed and more irritable by the second.

"dan, calm down," said louise.

dan huffed again, "can you guys just leave? pj and chris have pissed me off enough already, and if they stay here i'll probably end up beating the shit out of them."

chris scoffed, pj and louise baffled by dan's rudeness.

"okay then," louise said, dan's anger spread to her now, "we're not coming back to pick you up, though. you can find your own ride."

"fine!" dan screamed unnecessarily.

this time louise scoffed, her, pj, and chris walking out of the room and the parlor. they all knew they'd make up soon enough, but right now, pj and chris were still semi-high/drunk, louise was still  a bit tipsy, and dan was incredibly stressed and frustrated. not a good combo for an argument. dan then started to deplore his words, for he now did not have a way to get home.

"holy shit," phil said.

dan sighed, more disappointed than angry, "that is not what i wanted to happen. now i have to do this without my friends, and i don't have any way home." dan held his head in his hands. he wasn't going to cry, even though he kind of wanted to. the four of them had only gotten into an argument once before, and dan had thought their friendship would never be the same, if it even lived to see post the quarrel.

chris, dan, pj, and louise had all been at dan's house about a year or so earlier. they'd all been sitting in the living room, pj, chris, and louise on their phones, the tv playing on low volume in the background, when dan had finally, somehow, gotten the courage to come out to the three of them.

"hey, uh, guys?" dan asked, getting more nervous.

chris turned his head and looked at him, pj hummed slash grunted, still looking at his phone,and louise asked, "yeah?"

"i have to tell you something," dan said hesitantly, waiting for them to be paying attention, "uh, okay, so, um.. i don't know if you've, like, realized, or if it was obvious, but i've been thinking about it a lot, like, a lot, and i've—"

"oh for crying out loud, dan, get on with it!" louise said. dan knew she was joking with seriousness laced throughout, so he just said it.

"i'm gay."

he ignored his nausea, waiting for their response.

"well, duh. that's what you wanted to tell us?" chris asked.

"you're telling me i stopped playing clash royale for nothing?"

dan was surprised they weren't shocked about him being gay. scratch that, no he wasn't. it was very obvious that he was, no matter how hard he tried to hide it.

louise had a giant smile on her face. dan was wondering how she could still see, what with her eyes basically closed from her ginormous smile.

"why are you smiling like that?" dan asked.

louise basically leapt forward, wrapping dan in a tight hug.

"louise, i can't breathe," dan said in between small breaths, gasping when she finally let go.

"i'm so proud of you!" louise exclaimed, "i mean, like, we all totally knew, but we'd thought we'd have to walk in on you sucking some guy off for us to know for sure."

dan scrunched his eyebrows, "wow, thanks."

later that night, dan's parents were home (he still lived with them at the time), his dad washing dishes while his mom made dinner. the four were sitting in the living room, pj playing a level in crash bandicoot while the other three made fun of him losing.

"those faggots came into work today again," dan's dad said in the kitchen as he dried his hands, "i left as soon as i heard the one of them speak. i told charlie, i don't care how much more money we get from selling to them, they don't need to be coming in to our business."

"dad, not in here, all right?" dan said from the living room.

"what's it to you? are you one of them?"

—"no."
—"so what if he is?"

both chris and dan had spoken at the same time, but chris has been louder. dan felt his ears get hot. he turned to chris, his hands balled into fists. he had never thought about punching his friends, but at that moment he had wanted to beat chris to a pulp.

"what was that?"

chris hadn't seen dan's death stare, he was giving his own to dan's dad.

"so what if he is?" chris repeated.

"my son isn't gay."

"you sure?"

dan was infuriated. he hadn't wanted to say anything because that would give it away, but chris had done that himself.

pj and louise were dead silent. dan was on the verge of tears. his mom had stopped cooking dinner to listen to the debacle going on between the two.

"daniel?"

dan forced himself to turn to his dad, trying to hold the tears in.

"yes?" he croaked. it was barely audible.

"are you gay?" his question came out calm, but dan could tell he was getting angry. no way would he live through this one. one time his dad had gone into dan's room to look for an xbox controller, but instead found a pair of dan's pink lace panties. he stormed down the stairs and held them up, infuriated.

"whose are these?" he'd screamed, "are these yours? are you trying to be a girl?"

dan had had to lie and say they were some girl's he had brought home. his dad wasn't mad about that, he had congratulated him, but he'd thrown the underwear away, because 'you don't keep a hoe's panties'. they were dan's favorite pair, but dan couldn't even think about wearing them after that.

"yes," it was barely a whisper. dan's heart was thumping in his chest.

"what?" his dad's voice had gotten louder.

"y-yes," dan said again, a bit louder this time.

dan was surprised steam hadn't come out of his dad's head. his hands were clenched in two fists at his sides, his jaw clenched.

"i'm going to try to be calm about this," his dad took a breath, "you need to be out by the end of the week."

"what?!" dan practically shouted.

"you heard me. i want you out of my house by friday."

"what the hell?! why do i have to move out just because i'm gay? what difference does it make?"

"being gay is wrong, and you know it, daniel!"

"how?"

"men should not be with other men. sucking cocks is for the women, not little twink boys like you."

dan was fully crying at this point. louise, chris and pj looked horrified.

"this is fucking bullshit!" dan screamed.

"your brother gets to live here, you know why? because he's not a faggot. and if he turns out like you, i'll kick him out too. it's not bullshit, it's fair. queers shouldn't get the same as everyone else. they're fucking disgusting."

dan stormed up to his room, immediately starting to pack his things. pj, chris, and louise followed him, rushing into his room.

dan looked up at them, "get the fuck out."

"dan.." chris took a step closer to him.

"no, chris. i said get the fuck out, and that meant you! i fucking hate you! you know my dad is a giant homophobe, why did you say anything? why couldn't you just keep your fucking mouth shut?"

"dan, i—"

"get the fuck out, chris! i never want to see you again! you ruined my fucking life!"

chris was crying now. he ran out of dan's room. they all heard the front door close and knew he was gone. dan went back to packing, sniffling and wiping his tears continuously.

louise had taken dan in, letting him live in her apartment until he got enough money for his own. dan and chris had eventually made up, which dan was extremely grateful for. he loved chris, and he didn't want their friendship to ever end again.

"hey, dan, are you okay?" phil asked, bringing dan back to reality. he had started thinking about that day, crying like he always did when he thought about it.

he wiped his tears, "yeah, i'm fine. it's nothing."

"i don't believe that, but i'm not going to push you to tell me."

"thank you," dan said.

"do you need a ride home? i can take you, seeing that you no longer have one."

"uh, yeah, if it's not too much of a hassle."

phil was still technically a stranger, but dan trusted him somehow, and riding home with him seemed safer then walking through a city in the middle of the night.

"oh yeah, it's no big deal."

dan sighed, "okay, let's get this shit done."

phil grinned, grabbing a razor and an antiseptic wipe. after the shave and the antiseptic wipe, on to the tattoo it was.

"ow ow ow, oh my fucking god, ow," dan exclaimed.

"you're fine, dan," phil chuckled, "that's a sensitive spot for everyone."

"still, it hurts like a bitch."

"well, you did choose the wrist. that typically does hurt like a bitch."

dan rolled his eyes, he clenched his fist, phil pausing for a second.

"dan, you have got to relax, man," phil took ahold of dan's fingers, unclenching his fist. dan's heart did a tiny flip flop at the contact. it was pathetic, feeling like that to a guy he's only known for a few hours, but he couldn't help it, nor did he care.

"is it almost over?" dan asked through clenched teeth. he was profusely sweating and still had that nauseous feeling, but somehow, some way, he was actually making it through without crying, only tearing up a couple times. well, more than a couple, but whatever.

phil let out a breathy chuckle, "almost. i'm just putting the finishing details on the petals. shading and whatnot. it'll only be another minute or so."

dan let out a sigh of relief, getting another "hold still" in response.

after what felt like an eternity of "almost done" (but was approximately two and a half minutes), the tattoo was finally finished. dan let out a sigh, looking at his tattoo.

"do you like it?" phil asked hopefully.

dan hesitated for a moment. he did like it, he was just speechless because of both how well it turned out and how he, dan howell, managed to get a tattoo.

"yeah," dan said, getting excited, "i do, actually. i really like it. thank you."

phil grinned. he just gave an adorable boy a tattoo (that he liked) and now got to drive him home. it might have been about an hour and a half past closing time, but he didn't care. he barely knew dan, but he'd stay there all night if it meant he could be with him.

"just have to put some plastic over it and then we can go. i'll tell you how to take care of it in the car," phil said then walked off, getting the plastic wrapping for dan's arm.

dan sat awkwardly in the passenger seat of phil's bluish-silver prius. by the way, this punk, tattoo shop owning, kind of badass guy drives a prius? eh, whatever.

"so you're going to have to keep the plastic on it until it heals; you'll know when it does. also make sure to rub lotion on it until it heals," phil said, looking forward.

"all right."

"you don't have to be so awkward, you know. i mean, i get it, being in some dude's car you barely know, but you don't have to worry. i wouldn't hurt you."

phil, you absolute walnut, that makes things even weirder. that was maybe the creepiest thing you've ever said.

"oh, uh.. thanks."

look what you did, you creeped him out. nice job. good luck trying to get him to go on a date with you.

phil took a deep breath, exhaled, and kept driving. dan gave him directions to his apartment as they went.

"hey, uh.. i have a question."

phil, my god what are you going to say now. you better not fuck things up.

phil was basically on physical autopilot, his brain spacing out from being awkward and tired.

"i have an answer," dan said, turning the slightest bit toward phil and making eye contact. phil absentmindedly licked his lips as he gazed at dan's chapped pink ones.

he is cute as hell, but this boy needs some chapstick. not gonna lie.

"um," phil awkwardly chuckled, attempting to break the tension, "i.. you're really cute, and as soon as you stepped in to the shop you had me intrigued, and not because of the ropes."

dan giggled, his cheeks getting a pink tint to them.

phil took dan's silence as a cue to continue on, "i was wondering if you'd like to, like, go out sometime? if not it's fine, it's just, you're really cute, and i like you and—"

"i'll go on a date with you," dan chuckled at phil's rambling.

"wait, really?"

"yes, really. i've been staring at you all night, you didn't notice that i think you're cute?"

"no," phil felt his cheeks heat up, and he was grateful that dan couldn't see them.

they keep driving, phil focusing on the road (well, not really. all he could think about was going on a date with dan), and dan pretending to look out the window but actually thinking about going on a date with phil.

the car suddenly stopped, both dan and phil lurching forward in their seats.

dan's heart was racing, "what the hell?"

phil realized how dumb, dangerous, and unnecessary that was, but he couldn't just go back to driving like nothing happened, so he continued like it didn't.

"i just realized i never told you my name."

"oh my god," dan let out a breath, "you're telling me you almost gave me a heart attack for that?"

"well.. yes. i asked you out on a date, and you don't even know my name. that's douchey. why didn't you say anything?"

"i figured you'd tell me eventually," dan shrugged.

"oh my god, dan!" phil grinned, "just say something, no matter what it is. i have a terrible memory."

"what's your name?"

FUCK.

after another ten minutes of awkward laughs and phil finally telling dan his name, they arrived at his apartment.

"do you want me to walk you in?"

dan chuckled, "i'll be okay," dan opened the passenger door.

"hey, wait," dan stopped, turning to him, "can i have your phone for a sec?"

oh yeah, dan thought, i might want his number.

they exchanged numbers, phil agreeing to pick him up the following friday at seven.

"have to be cheesy with it, don't you?" phil asked, grinning.

"it's a classic date time!"

"exactly. the fun dates are at two in the morning."

"if you wake me up at two in the morning, i can guarantee you what i'll do will not be going on a date with you."

phil roller his eyes, the playful smirk still on his lips.

"fine, friday at seven. boooorring."

"whatever," dan smiled, "thank you again for the tattoo, i really do like it. i'll let you know if i have any questions about taking care of it."

"all right, baby."

"did you just call me baby?" dan grinned.

"maybe, maybe not. is that an issue?" phil grinned as well.

"nope."

SHITTY ENDING WOOOOOP.

THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LIKE 5000 WORDS. THIS IS THE LONGEST ONE SHOT IVE EVER WRITTEN. I HOPE YOU KINDA LIKE IT.

(btw sorry if there're typos, i'm too lazy to reread through this one)