(Phils POV)

I watched him walk away and my thoughts instantly start to wander. He's like me, more or less. I felt different when he told me, not the same way I felt when Chris told me he's gay or that he used to like me. I felt not alone for some reason, it's like my world was okay. My small world was okay with Dan in it. With Dan. Dan was becoming more and more involved in my life and I liked it. Why did I like it? There was no way for me to like like him already, right? What if I did? Was there a chance he liked me too? What would happen if he did like like me?

I hated it when my mind wandered like this, all these different scenarios start to play out in my head and at any point, I could have 5 kids with Dan or be back home with my dad with him hurting the family. My mind tends to do that a lot and most of the time I enjoy it but it can get dark very quickly. I always believe the bad outcomes and I don't really know why. My life hasn't been all that bad, the only thing really challenging has been this whole secret thing and a family death or two. Of course, I always assume the worse but most of the time I take the middle ground. For example, I get out of my house and away from my father but I have to stay with a stranger. It beats sleeping outside of course but my point still stands, it's the middle ground. Then again the middle ground can have a good or bad outcome. Most of the time I can tell what's going to happen to me but sometimes it can go completely south or I can't tell if it'll be good or bad.

After about fifteen minutes of thinking I managed to pull my laptop out of my bag and log in. With nothing else to do for hours, I got on YouTube and instantly went to LonelyGirl15's channel and just instantly started to binged her channel. I had four hours to kill and YouTube to my ad vile. A few people came in and out of the room but not often and no one really cared about me being there. No one talked to me and I never caught anyone really looking at me, maybe a glace but that was only because when you walk into a room and see something that isn't normally there you tend to look at it. Normally I'd feel alone but I was content with being in my small world. I didn't get one text or all or notification in the span of four hours, which I found astonishing.

By the time Dan had entered the room again I had found myself fallen down a hole of conspiracy theories. He actually startled me. I didn't notice that people were coming into my room until Dan covered my eyes. I must have jumped a mile into the air because he quickly moved his hands and chuckled.

"Sorry, thought it was going to be a fun way to tell you that it's time to go," he said, his face kind of flushed and he was looking down.

I sat up, "It was fun for you I'm guessing," I say as I start to put my laptop up in its case. He quietly while I packed up my things as if I was graceful. I was nowhere near graceful, but he still stared at me. 

"Ready to go?" 

It was only when I asked the question that he broke his stare. His face gained a reddish tent instantly. 

He mumbled, "Sorry, I kinda spaced out there for a second," his gaze facing the floor.

"It's fine, there is really nothing to apologize for," I answer.

He looked up at me and his eyes instantly met mine. It was at this moment that it clicked in my mind. I've never believed in love at first sight, and I know it wasn't the first time I've seen him but I knew I was denying it. He was everything, from the inside out. We barely knew anything about each other and he's still the nicest to me. He's younger than me and has his life more together they anyone I know that's younger than 20. But why was I denying the fact that I was falling for him? Because I didn't really know him. I don't know his past, how he deals with stress, how he wants to grow up. I knew nothing. But that didn't matter at the moment when I'm staring into his chocolate brown eyes.

"So, uh, you have anywhere you want to go?" he asks, dropping eye contact. 

"No, I didn't know I needed to think of a place to go..." I trail off.

"You didn't, I just thought that maybe you'll know a place to go," he answered.

I smiled, his eyes were fixed on the ground. He was nervous, why would he be? It's just me.

"It's okay, we can just walk around until we find something we'll both eat," he said after regaining eye contact with me.

"Yeah," I picked up my bag, "I guess we should be going then."

He smiled, "Yeah, I guess we should."

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Hi, i'm alive. Life is great and i'm dying.