Cover: 4/5

The cover effectively conveys the dark theme of the story, aligning well with its tone and setting. However, it lacks an element of visual allure or uniqueness that could make it more captivating. Consider adding a striking focal point or an element that symbolizes the story's central conflict to make it stand out.

Title: 4/5

The title is intriguing and fits the story's theme. However, its connection to the plot isn't entirely clear at this stage. As the story progresses, it might tie in better. 

Blurb: 4/10

The current blurb focuses heavily on description, which, while vivid, may not fully capture the readers' interest. To engage your audience, try incorporating dialogues or quotes between key characters, like the intense exchanges between Isha and Abhyansh. This can create intrigue and give readers a taste of the story. At the moment, the blurb focuses mostly on description, which can feel a bit detached. Including some dialogues or quotes between Isha and Abhyansh would work.

Plot: 9/20

The mafia and childhood love tracks are too common these days and it can easily guess what will happen next so the plot is not unique or we can say original.

Characters: 10/20

I didn't notice any specific mistakes in character design, but they do not feel very realistic. Try adding more detail about their thoughts and including more dialogues from their perspective.

Writing Style: 5/20

You need to work on the dialogues and writing style. Some phrases feel too robotic, when characters speak. These dialogues feel somewhat detached and may need more context to feel interconnected. More subtle variation in tone could add depth to their personalities. Additionally, the story is limited to one perspective. Adding more depth by incorporating multiple perspectives and increasing the dialogue could help readers connect better with the characters and story.

Grammar: 9/20

There are tense inconsistencies that could be smoothed out for clarity. For example, "Abhyansh buried himself again in his works which seems like usual" could be rephrased to "Abhyansh buried himself in his work again, as usual." There are also so many punctuation mistakes. I suggest you to use grammarly for improvement. 

Overall: 40/100

Overall, the foundation for a strong story is here, but refining character interactions, smoothing transitions, and tightening up the writing will elevate the narrative significantly. With some polish, this could develop into a compelling tale!

Suggestions for improvement:

• The blurb feels slightly disjointed in its presentation. It shifts between various ideas and descriptions abruptly, which can confuse the reader. Consider smoothing transitions and organizing the information more cohesively. 

For Blurb, you can add (only an example): "You can't cage me," Isha spat, her voice trembling with anger. "I'm not yours to control!"

 Abhyansh didn't flinch. He stepped closer, towering over her, his presence overwhelming. His hand shot out, grabbing her wrist with such force it left her breathless. His voice was cold, unyielding. "You're wrong. You belong to me now, whether you want it or not."

• Make the dialogues and scenes more realistic.

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