He's running like a maniac again. Always running around with literally no goal, other than running because he loves the freedom of the forest. He's annoying. He smells. The way his tongue hangs out of his mouth when he runs is ridiculous and he looks ridiculous.

He caught a rabbit and was stupidly proud of himself. He loves how the tiny bones crunches between his teeth and how easy it has become to hunt after we moved here. In the beginning he was bad but he's getting better.

He's not the one who has to deal with the aftermath though.

I threw up again and groaned as my stomach clenched, trying to get the remnants of the wolf's breakfast out of my body. At least this wasn't happening again until tonight, so I had a full day to relax and regain some strength. One more night and I'd be free for another month.

Abel handed me a glass of water and I gratefully took it, rinsing out my mouth. He had been so nice. Used his days off to be at my place, look after Dave, brought Gary too so she wouldn't be alone in his flat. He had also cleaned the house while I had been out running in the forest.

"You feeling better?" he asked and took the glass back from me, refilling it from the bathroom sink.

"Yeah, I'm just exhausted. Why does he have to eat? Can't he just run around and be content with that?" I leaned back against the wall, pulling my legs up and resting my elbows on my knees, pressing my fingers to my eyes.

"I mean, if he's hungry..."

"I always eat before the shift, hoping he won't get hungry. And to be honest, I don't think he's hungry. I think he just likes hunting rabbits." I removed my fingers from my eyes and looked up at Abel. "Probably knows I get super sick from it and enjoys making me ill."

Abel snorted a little and held his hand out, offering me it to get off the floor. I gratefully grabbed it and let him haul me up.

"What do you wanna do?" He put his arm around my shoulders and steered me back into the living room. Dave had taken up one sofa, leaving the other for us.

"Honestly, just take a good ol' nap, I think."

"We can definitely do that," Abel said and dumped down on the sofa, turning on the telly. "Will the sound bother you?"

"Not at all." I sat down and then pushed him down on his back so I could nap on top of him. He chuckled but didn't protest. He only slid his hand under my shirt, tracing my spine with the tips of his fingers. It was so comforting, and he was warm. He hadn't turned the volume up to a point where it was annoying even, and occasionally he'd chuckle at something they had said on the telly. It was so domestic.

After my dad had died, I didn't think I'd get to have something that felt like home, again. It was hard to even believe this was real. It was also not that big of a deal, really. I was just napping on top of the boy I was dating, while he was watching silly comedy shows on the telly, rubbing my back in the process.

I also knew this wasn't something all of us would get. All of us in the queer corner of the world. Happiness was not often afforded to us in a world that sometimes actively worked against us, so I had so many feelings about this small moment. The absolute normalness of it all. I was happy because I got to have this – but I also mourned for the boy who never thought he would. I wished I could go back and tell him; things would get better in the future. If only I had known then, what I knew now.

I repositioned a little and sighed deeply. Abel stopped moving his fingers over my back for a second, but then continued as I sunk into him. Enough with the deep thoughts. Only think about how nice Abel smells. How nice it is when he chuckles, and it vibrates through your body. Only think about how surprisingly comfortable you are right now.

I jerked awake. Abel hadn't woken me up and I was out of time and luck. I fell down on the floor, waves of pain flowing through my body.

"Gael?" Abel muttered tiredly. He must've fallen asleep too at some point.

"Abel, get..." I had to stop and groan, rolling on my side. "Get the telly and the pets. I'm shifting here. Lock the doors." My voice was changing too, going down a couple of octaves.

"D-do you want me to stay?"

"No!" I growled through my growing teeth. It was like biting into a block of ice, repeatedly getting brain freezes and my teeth aching. And then these tingles would spread over my skin, every single hair in his fur growing out of my skin.

Abel was running around me, gathering valuables. Laptops, phones, the telly and my bluetooth speaker all went upstairs while he grabbed the sofa and put it up the steps, blocking my path. And his.

"You've blocked..." I couldn't speak anymore. My throat was no longer human, nor was my face really.

It was too late, and Abel was going to see this happening.

He slowly awakens and pushes me aside so he can take over. The best thing for him is right after the shift where he can shake out his fur, stretch his legs and get a good scratch behind his ear.

He becomes acutely aware he isn't alone. The smell is familiar, and he was sure I knew that smell. That I liked it.

The boy stands by the stairs, staring at him. He stares back. He is usually alone and has never had any other company than the rabbits before they died. Once he had encountered a deer which died too.

Instincts tells him to kill this strange animal he hasn't seen before too, but he also feels the power radiating off him.

The boy slowly moves down in a crouch, seeming a lot less threatening. It placates the wolf somewhat, and he sits down too. The boy says something, but the wolf doesn't understand him. Language is lost on him. All that matters is whether or not the strange boy is an enemy or a friend. The wolf is rather lonely. He doesn't care if the boy is another wolf or not. All that matters is if he has food. He is already starving.

The boy says something again and moves closer, holding his hand out. Does it contain food? The wolf just wants something to fill his belly. He rises to his feet and walks up to the boy's hand, his claws click-clacking against the hardwood floor. He gently notches the boy's hand with his snout, sniffing it.

No food.

He loses interest and follows his nose into another room. He doesn't bother to look properly around or wonder why he isn't in the woods. He goes directly for the fridge, clawing at it with his paw.

The boy is beside him and opens it. The wolf makes a happy sound and looks through the different arrays of things within the cold cabinet. He goes directly for some steaks, grabbing the package with his mouth and pulls it out on the floor.

The boy crouches down again and opens the weird package and throws the steak at the wolf. He catches it and happily carries it back to the other room, settling on the floor and eats it.

He knows the boy followed. He could hear his steps and smell him. The smell is still boggling him a little. He likes it and wants the boy around. He feels possessive of the boy.

This boy is alright.

Fragmented memories came back but it all looked like I was looking through a kaleidoscope. Lots of colours paired with smells. One was overwhelming and it was the smell of Abel. Remnants of the wolf's feelings towards him. I was surprised to find the wolf liking Abel. Usually, the wolf didn't like anything I liked.

I peeled my eyes open, but it was a struggle. Usually this would be the part where I woke up naked in a forest and had to figure out how to get some clothes and then how to find my way home.

Not this time though. I woke up in my own bed, dressed in a pair of shorts and a t-shirt. Someone was softly snoring in my ear too. I looked back over my shoulder to find Abel, sealed to me.

He inhaled in a super cute snort and then opened his eyes. "It's rude to look at people sleeping."

I snorted and shook my head. "Not when they look cute."

"What if I was drooling everywhere. It'd be so embarrassing."

"More embarrassing than turning into a wolf in the middle of my living room?" I grimaced a little.

"That wasn't embarrassing at all. He was nice. Pretty demanding though."

I grimaced in response.

"He ate your steaks."

"Bastard," I muttered.

We didn't talk for a couple of minutes and then it hit me. Abel had seen me naked. No shirt. No trousers. Completely naked. Scars all out there. I clenched my jaw hard before unclenching it again.

"You've seen me naked."

"Yeah," he said with a low voice. "I got your clothes fast though. And I tried to not look. Closed my eyes when I got your shirt on you."

I turned around and looked up at him. I bit down on my lip and nodded. "Just... like... Didn't expect that to be the first time you saw me naked."

"To be honest, Gael, I didn't really think about it, you know? I was thinking more about getting you in your clothes and getting you to bed. And cleaning up after the wolf. He made a mess. He likes to pee in corners and that shit was rancid."

I couldn't help but laugh. "I'm sorry you had to clean up after him. He's an asshole."

"He was actually kind of nice. He let me pet him. He likes being scratched on his back."

"What a copy-cat. I like having my back scratched."

Abel took that as an invitation to slip his hand under my shirt and running his fingers over my skin.

"He was beautiful," Abel murmured. I felt the vibrations of his voice on top of my head, where his chin was resting. "I know it wasn't supposed to happen, but I'm glad it did. I wanted to see the other you."

"It's not me," I whispered.

"I actually think he is. He didn't attack me, nor did he ruin your house. He even narrowed his eyes at the sofa on the staircase as if it definitely didn't belong there. He moved the same way as you, too. You know, a little awkwardly, trying to not take up too much space."

"I don't move awkwardly," I said with a pathetic voice. I knew I was awkward in every fibre of my body, and I'd fidget and look awkward.

Abel gently put the palm of his hand against my cheek, getting me to tip my head up. He pressed his lips against mine for a brief second before moving on to kiss my forehead. He gave the best forehead kisses. They were always soft and gentle and so intimate.

"You move awkwardly," he murmured against my skin.

I snorted and sat up, stretching my arms above my head. "God, I'm always so achy after a full moon. What did he do last night?"

"Nothing really. We chilled out on the floor for the most part and he'd go to the kitchen whenever he wanted a snack."

I nodded a little and bit down on my lip. It just didn't sit right with me. This was the worst part of myself. And he had seen it.

I looked at him over my shoulder and he smiled sweetly at me. He had seen the worst and he wasn't running. He was in my bed, toying with the sheets on my duvet, poking at the dotted patterns in it.

I turned back towards him and got him on his back, swinging a leg over him and sitting down in his lap. His eyes widened, even the black dot widened, almost filling out the white. I bent over and kissed him, my hands on his cheeks. He lifted his hips in response, his hands on my thighs clenching them. He was lifting his head slightly too, to make the kiss deeper and harder.

I pulled back, panting. "Sorry, I just... I'm..."

"You don't gotta say anything," he said softly and lifted his head again, kissing me. His hands ran up under my shorts, ending on my butt.

I was relieved I didn't have to explain. Either Abel knew or he didn't care what had prompted me to do this. I really didn't have to explain a whole lot of things to him, now that I thought about it. He let me tell things in my own time, never demanding information out of me, which only made me actually want to tell him about myself, my fears, my goals... I wanted to tell this boy everything and I didn't feel so bad about him seeing my chest anymore. It wasn't like I was about to throw caution to the wind alongside my shirt, but the knot in my stomach had loosened a little.

Abel was the first one to actually support me and respect me at the same time. He wasn't one of those who were so desperate to support me, they'd eventually force me to tell them everything about me, so they could help me through my trauma. That's where the respect came in. He respected it took time for me to open up and I wasn't sure if he knew that some things might never get fully explained – or if he even cared. He just wanted to support me in the way I needed. Not in the way he needed to support me in.

And that's why I was kissing him right now. Because I didn't know how to tell him all these things and it was so much easier to just show him some affection instead. It was a language I spoke much better than... Actual human language with words.