"It's all coming together," Luce said as we walked back. 

"Yeah, it's gone quick. There's still a dozen things to do, but it's exciting."

"Has Graham seen any of it?"

"No I don't think so."

"Then he'll really be blown away on opening night."

"Yeah."

"Are you guys going okay? You both seemed off this morning. Is it Tommy? You know, how you two are?" She asked. 

"What are you implying?"

"No, Len, nothing, it's just, you have to admit that you and Tommy are-"

"Are acting how you and Cohen used to act, and maybe we're a little more connected than you two were but that's because we were intimate for years and only had each other for years. I haven't done anything wrong, so whatever is wrong with Gray, he has brought on himself no matter what I say to him. But we're fine, I'm talking to him tonight."

"Okay, I'm sorry Lenny, I shouldn't assume, I'm not involved, I just care about you." I exhaled.

"I know, sorry for snapping, it's just... it's nothing." She gave me a hug before we walked in and it was much needed. Once we walked in she went to Dillon as Tommy came over to me. 

"Aren't you going to Mr Possessive now?"

"Yeah, but I wanted to check on your scar. I don't know if I'll be back tonight."

"Ah, well, let's go then."

I cleaned it and reapplied the cream.

"All done." 

"For good now, because I'm leaving in the morning," he said, looking down at me as I was still on my knees in front of him.

"So I might not see you?"

"Well, if you stay at his then yeah, you won't see me. It's for the best Mary, I'm not helping anyone by being here." 

"What about me?" I asked him, "I would've been a mess without you here."

"Funny how you're the one fixing my scars but I'm helping you."

"I can see the irony," I said, "but I'm serious."

"You know I can't stay any longer, or even visit you, we'll call, but even that will stir things up and I don't want anything happening to you." I looked down, the feeling of him leaving stirring up old memories. He lifted my head to look at him. 

"I wish I could be with you- you know to visit. Maybe in the future, after things have died down a bit."

"Well, I'll miss you."

"I always miss you." 

"Even though you're with me right now?" I asked him, a smile on my lips out of amusement. 

"I mean I always miss... you." His eyes looked through mine as if speaking through them. I sat up on my knees, my hands on his legs just above his knees to help me. When I touched him I notice him breath in roughly and close his eyes. 

"Tommy," I whispered, standing up and stepping away. "I better get going."

He cleared his throat and quickly put his top on. 

"Goodbye then," he said. 

"I'll call you," I said to him and he nodded taking steps to my door. For some reason it felt like he was leaving right now. "Wait." He turned around and I rushed over to him and wrapped my arms around his neck as he lifted me in a hug. His head rested in the crook of my neck and he held me tightly. "I'm sorry, and don't stop me from apologising. I'm sorry that you feel what you feel for me, and have for years now, and I can't reciprocate."

"That's okay, when you're happy I'll forgive you." He dropped me down and I pulled away slowly, our faces touched for a moment before I returned to my midget height and we became what felt like metres away. 

"Goodbye Tommy." 

I walked out first and my way to Grahams. I thought about what Tommy said, how I shouldn't be feeling so guilty I fear of Graham feeling jealous. I just hoped he was in a listening mood and that we didn't argue or have angry sex. 

"Hey Len," Blake said as I walked in. I went and hugged him where he sat.

"Graham is showering I think, but it doesn't really matter I guess."

"Thanks."

"You okay, you seemed weird this morning?"

"I will be okay. How are you?"

"I'm good. We need to go to a party soon it's been a while."

"It has hasn't it?" I said, thinking back to the last we went out. "It's a deal then."

Gray was indeed showering and so I sat on his bed and waited. 

He walked out a few minutes later in a towel and stopped when he saw me. 

"Hey," was all he said as he turned and got dressed. 

"Hi."

He sat beside me after he was dressed and kissed my forehead. 

"What was that for?"

"This morning, I'm sorry for arguing with you first thing." So he's sorry about arguing in the morning and not about the sex we had. I guess I shouldn't expect it, I was a consenting party.

"That's okay, I did want to talk to you though, about us. There's just something that's been bothering me and I didn't realise until this morning with Tomm-"

"Are you kidding me?" He snapped, standing up. 

"Gray, I'm trying to talk, just sit and-"

"No, you're getting ideas in your head because of him."

"He was the one who told me to talk with you so we could fix this, and go back to how we were. he is leaving in the morning okay, I don't understand what your problem is."

"He is my problem."

"But nothings happened, he is my bloody friend, I've known him for almost a decade now."

"That's the problem, you have this whole relationship with him that just you two and I hate it."

"You don't want me to have good relationships with people? I have to just be with you and that's it."

"No, but it's different. He's in love with you."

"Even so, have I done anything?"

"Well, I don't know that." I stood up now, as anger was rising in me and sitting was too unbearable.

"Excuse me? How can you even say that? After you being in the hospital, almost dying, you accuse me of cheating on you."

"That's not what I meant."

"Yes it is, and you know it. I have not done anything with him and I shouldn't have to tell you that, you should trust me enough."

"I do, Nora, I do, I just think all of these thoughts."

"Well stop, I'm with you, I'm in love with you, this isn't some kind of dumb relationship, we're in it for the long game, can't you get that?"

"I'm in love with you too but so is he."

"Stop with him already! Who cares if he loves me, you have me, that should make you happier. Two guys are in love with me and technically I can choose who I like, one of which I used to be with and I choose you, I pick you. 

"God I can't feel like this anymore, I can't keep having the same bloody argument."

"You're not."

"I am, I am constantly trying to protect your feelings so you don't feel jealous, that's pathetic. Why should I have to do that?"

"You don't have to."

"Well I do, because when he first came to my dorm and you walked in and him with me, you looked like you could've killed right then and there."

"Doesn't mean I would've."

"But do you see my point." I stated, taking a breath. "It's crazy, I am going crazy, I'm constantly feeling guilty about hurting your feelings or worrying if something will bother you. Imagine feeling guilty about being there for a friend because you're worried about how angry I might be with you."

"I'm not angry with you, just at the situation, at him."

"Well, you make that extremely clear."

"You're so close with him."

"Good lord. Are you joking? This isn't about him. I can't do this anymore, I'm done." I couldn't have this conversation with im, it was getting nowhere, he couldn't see how crazy he's been.

"You're done? Fine then, we should break up," he said and I froze. He started going through his things and grabbed a few books I've left here and handed them to me. 

"So it's over?" I asked him, no longer angry. I was just hurt now. This is what he wanted?

"Seems that way."

"Fine," was all I said before walking out, making sure to slam his door on the way out. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of seeing me break down. 

I rushed back, happy it was so late as everyone would be asleep. 

I walked in, relieved at the silence and I rushed to my room. I closed the door slowly, and put the book on my desk. 

I covered my mouth, shocked. How did it come to this? How could he do that to me? The reason I didn't let myself be happy was in fear of this exact feeling. It's claws ripped through me slowly and I could feel my skin burn from the tears. 

I dropped to the floor, sobbing as quietly as I could. 

I can't believe that's it. After everything.

I felt arms around me, I didn't realise that someone had walked in. I realised it was Tommy and at first I thought about this being innapropriate, but that doesn't matter now does it?

"Breathe Mary, it's alright, I'm here." He rubbed my back, like he always has when I'm not okay. 

"It's not okay," I cried. "None of this is okay. He didn't even flinch, there was no love in his eyes when he said the words. He doesn't want me anymore. I can't take it Tommy, I can't breathe. This feeling, it hurts so much."

"I know you hate it, but it gets better, I promise." 

"I just can't believe it."

"I know, it's alright. You just need to sleep it off okay."

"I can't stand, I can't even feel my body.

"That's okay, just hold me." 

Tommys pov

I carried her up, ignoring the pain in my ribs, a common theme as of late. I laid her down gently on her bed and took her shoes and socks off, knowing she hates being in bed with socks on. 

I tucked her in, and I wiped her cheeks dry. I could feel an ache in my chest at the site of her. 

"Do you want me to go? I can leave earlier," I said softly as I knelt beside the bed where she laid.

"Don't leave, nothing's stopping you now. Can you at least stay until I fall asleep?" She asked me, her eyes already closing. 

"Of course." She shimmied on the bed to make room for me and I laid next to her, facing her. 

"I don't to be alive with this pain."

"The most painful thing to do is to live. You will get through this. Just close your eyes and think of something good." I tried to think of a happy memory, that's happy for her. "Do you remember when you skipped school and we went to a gig and just listened to music all day?"

I saw her smile as her eyes were close. I reach my hand over to rub her back, I always noticed how she untense whenever I did it. Her shoulders relaxed. 

"Of course I remember, it was one if the best days ever, plus we got beers because you already looked 18." 

"Good, now go to sleep."

<><><><><><><>

She was so still, so serene. Of course her brows were furrowed and she was pouting, but she looked like a roman sculpture. 

The light had been shining through the blinds and I realised I had watched her the entire night. I was scared of going to sleep and her waking up and needing me. 

She moved, and hair fell on her face, I slowly moved it out of the way, watching how the sun caught her hair slightly and it sparkled like gold. 

I was in the clouds just laying with her like this, but if Graham found out then there'd be no chance of the getting back together soon. I knew she wanted him. But I also knew she had feelings for me. I didn't know if i should let her go so she can be with Graham, or to stay and fight for her so we can be together finally. I'll see what she wants. 

It was driving me mad at what Graham could have possibly said to her for her be this way. How she was on the floor, numb, and sobbing as if her heart was choking and drowning. He was such an idiot. You can't let dumb jealousy ruin your relationship. It didn't make sense that he was jealous because he loves her so much and that being the reason he broke it off with her. 

I heard the door open and I lifted my head and saw Lucy. She looked shocked at first to see me, and I just mouthed that she was asleep and she nodded and closed the door. 

I laid back down, hoping my movement didn't wake her up. I think it did as she moved a bit. 

Her eyes fluttered opened and immediately she looked down. I could see her picturing what must've happened last night and I couldn't take how broken she looked right now.

"I should probably get up, face the world and let you leave, you don't have to stay here."

"I can stay, only if you want me to."

"Really?" She said, a glimmer of hope in her eyes. I smiled.

"Yes, really." She gave a small smile and then deep breathed. "I don't really care if this is a dumb question, but are you okay?"

"No, I'm not. I have gone so many years being the way I am to avoid this hurt. And deep down I still had those thoughts that he would leave, or get angry and not want me, or that things would blow up."

"Mary, that's your father, your father has made you feel this way. That men will get angry with you, or leave you and hurt you. But that's not true. He didn't leave you or get angry with you technically, I bet he was angry with himself. And I remember him being like you with relationships, maybe he had thoughts like yours as well."

"It makes sense, but it's just too much to think about right now. All I know is that I'm in physical pain and I need some coffee." She went to get up and I quickly grabbed her hand to face me. 

"Lucy came in before when you were sleeping and saw me in your bed so she might have questions."

"Oh, okay, I didn't really want to explain things yet," she said, looking anxious. 

"It's alright, she's your best friend."

"Yeah, right. Do you want anything?"

"I'm fine."

"Um, we'll go to breakfast after I talk with her, okay?"

"Yeah sure." I wondered if she thought about Graham being there, she may have forgotten. Maybe he won't show. 

Eleanors pov

I grabbed a jumper before going out, to mellow her thoughts that I knew she was having. The tank I was wearing may have been a little see-through. 

"Cold?"

"Um, no, but she'll think something nasty if I go out in the singlet I was wearing. It's kind of see-through." Genuine shock and disappointment flashed over his features. 

"I didn't even look, or notice." I laughed and he smiled. 

"Nice sound." I stood for a moment, him smiling and I walked out. 

She was reading on the counter with an espresso and she glanced up when I walked out. 

"Where's Dill?"

"Ballet."

"Ah, right."

"So, I see that Thomas hasn't left yet."

"Before you ask me anything thats complettely incorect I want to say a few things."

"Of course, go ahead, I just care about you is all."

"I know, thank you," I said as we shared a smile. "Things have been... no the best with Graham."

"I noticed."

"Yes, well, last night was kind of the last straw... he um- he broke up with me. We were talking, I was trying to reason with him and he just ended it." I was biting my tongue down so hard trying to hold back tears. She looked so empathetic now as she stood up and gave me a hug. 

"I'm so sorry, you must be shattered."

"I am, and last night was really bad. I came late and Tommy was on the couch so he noticed me come in and he comforted me when I kind of broke down."

"Oh, I'm sorry I wasn't there for you."

"It's alright, you're here now."

"So what about Thomas being in your bed?"

"Well, like I said he was comforting me." She nodded, not convincingly though.

"In your bed?" She asked, "I know you and my brother fought and I guess Thomas had things to do with that and now you're over, but don't you think it's a little cruel to sleep with him?"

"Well, technically it's not your business, your brother had his own issues seperate to Tommy, and I never did anything wrong and am still doing nothing wrong. I could have done things differently but the outcome is the same. I couldn't sleep because I was hurting and so he helped me, because he knows me and cares about me and wanted to be there for me. It shouldn't be a problem now."

"I guess you're right, I'm sorry, I should just be here for you, I'm sorry," she repeated and she gave me another hug. 

"It's alright."

"We can stay in tonight and watch home alone, Dillon and I will make brownies."

"That sounds good."

"Thomas is leaving this morning right?"

"He's staying a little longer, the person he was meant to be staying with is on a holiday, and won't be home for another week and half. So he asked if it was okay, he was prepared to sleep in his car. But I said it was fine." I knew she didn't like how Tommy and I were and would read into me wanting him to stay. 

"Oh okay, I guess he'll help make you feel better. He can handle girls night?"

"Yeah, we'll put a face mask on him and everything." She giggled. 

"You want to get dressed and we'll go eat?"

"Yeah sure. You don't think he'll-"

"He'll be avoiding everyone and everything for awhile I think. I'll check on him thought okay."

I nodded, "yeah, please."

"Don't worry."

We went to breakfast after getting dressed and whatnot, and I walked slower when we got close to the hall, scared he'd be there. But knowing him he wouldn't, Luce was right.

"It's alright, he's not in there," Tom said grabbing me hand to get me inside as I was resisting.

We sat and ate, Cohen and Blake asked if I was okay, and then remained silent. They knew, which meant Gray wasn't okay.

Dillon showed after Ballet practice and Lucy told her quietly and she gave me the biggest hug considering she was so little.

I picked at my food, everyone having their conversations. 

"Hey, Luce," I said softly.

"You alright?"

"Yeah, I was thinking that I'd go check on him, if that's okay."

"Alright, I'll go later. It'll be okay." She reassured me. 

"I'm going to see Graham quickly, I'll see you later," I said to Tommy. 

"Okay, I can wait for you, make sure you're okay?"

"That's alright, I'll be fine."