Eleanor pov

I was standing in front of their dorm, debating. I needed the matter between us to be settled, but the small, hopeful, romantic part of me wanted to tell him how I felt. 

"Don't you remember how to open doors?" I heard Blake joke as he walked into his dorm. 

"I do I was just... nevermind."

"Well come in. He's been in there all day." Blake had gestured to his room. 

"He didn't got to classes today?"

"No, and I assume it has something to do with you." 

"If this goes horribly, I'll most likely head to my room, but if it's relatively okay, then we're playing video games in your room."

"Deal, I will have chips." He said and I smiled as he went to his room. 

I deep breathed before walking to his door and knocking softly. I heard his slow steps to the door and he opened it. 

His eyes were almost closed and when he saw me they opened properly. 

"What are you doing here?" He was shocked, which made sense. I thought I should just settle the matter so I walked in his room.

"We need to talk, because I can't go on like this any longer."

"Just come right in then," he said sarcastically and I jumped on his bed. I was trying to be myself and that meant letting the intrusive thoughts win, which also added staring at his bare torso which he was quickly covering up. "Yep, make yourself comfortable."

"Okay, so first of all, let's decide something, without any factors involved, such as your sister and our previous behavior when it comes to our love lives. I want to know what we are now. Are we going to be mature and act on our... feelings? Or will we just move on from these uncomfortable months?"

He looked tense. Obviously not expecting me to come out with this, but one of us had to do it.

He cleared his throat and sat on the edge of his bed, facing me. 

"Before I figure out my answer to that lovely question, I... wanted to apologise to you. For how I spoke to you in our argument and what I said. I did not want to hurt you. After seeing your reaction and seeing you at breakfast I realised that's exactly what I had done."

"Apology accepted. I'm not saying sorry because you deserved what I said. Now figure out your answer." I saw him smile, which in Graham world meant a tiny smirk.

"I've never done this so I'm just going to say what I've been feeling and we'll go from there."

"I take it your sister has helped with these new communication skills."

"Maybe," he said, and then began concentrating on his next words. "I mentioned that I didn't want to hurt you, and that's true. I don't want to be the one to make you sad or unhappy, in fact I want to make you smile. I want to see you happy, and dancing and listening to your music. I loved the holidays because," he paused, hesitating at his next words, "I had you to myself with no one else around and it almost didn't feel real which helped me be more open. 

"I don't know what to call it, but I just know that I can't just be your best friends brother that bickers with you all the time. I think I may want to be more. I just have no idea how to go about it." He took a deep breath and I wanted to laugh at how crazy this was. I couldn't believe he just told me all those things. 

"I don't know how to go about it either." I said and he looked relieved at my answer. It was entertaining watching him be afraid of rejection. "Since we only know about physical stuff I think we should focus on the words stuff. Like feelings and whatnot. That makes sense, right?" He nodded. 

"Gosh we're hopeless," he smiled. He had come closer to me as we spoke and I smiled. I had not shut him down, and he was happy about it. 

"Okay, I do think we should do one thing first, because I've thought about it a few times and I really think it would help me sleep."

"Shoot," he said and I moved a little so I was closer to him. I watched as his emerald eyes registered where I was going and he looked panicky, which was amusing. I leaned in slowly, taking him all in. I had to remind myself it was all happening. I was so close that I could feel the warmth emanating off his lips. 

When we finally kissed I heard a switch flick inside me, like the disdain I held of him left and a newfound attraction replaced it. 

I was unsure at first but then I really liked it. It wasn't like all of my other kisses that were purely a lead up to sex, I actually had a primal gnawing in the pit of my stomach that made me want to kiss him forever. His taste, and his lips were everything and I craved and more. 

We parted slightly and he held onto my bottom lip as he did so. I loved that. 

A whole lot of uncertainty then hung in the air. Like we needed any more of that.

We looked at each other with shock and curiosity. 

"Well, that happened." He said, breaking the silence. 

"Mhm. So I guess we should just let things flow from here." He nodded standing up. I still sat there, replaying our kiss. I wanted his lips on mine again, I wanted the feeling back. The pure ecstacy I got from his taste and his kiss. Like it was tailor made for me, and now I've said that we should focus on emotions; what a daft dimbo I am. 

He held out his hand and I took it as he lifted me from his bed and I went to the door. I looked back at him as he followed behind me, the hand he had held mine in mere moments ago had outstretched like he was agitated about something. 

"I'll see you at dinner?" I asked. 

"Um, yeah, sure." He said hastily as I walked out. His door closed quickly as soon as I had walked out and for the first time, I knew exactly how Grayson was feeling. 

Grahams pov

She had left now and I could show what I was feeling on the inside. My heart was pounding uncontrollably and I had this burning feeling in my stomach. I wanted to touch her. I wanted to kiss her again. It was infuriating. It just made everything worse. 

But I reminded myself that this was Eleanor, I needed to do this right, which meant no sex. Like she said. She's my sisters best friend. She had also said that we should focus in the talking stuff, so I should respect her decision. But her curves make it so incredibly hard. 

After we had kissed, touching her hand was like touching fire. I had to let go of her before I pulled her into me so I could kiss her again. So I could trace her silhouette, and hold the softness of her hips, the curve of her breasts and make her scream until all she can mutter is my name. 

Fuck. Shut up. 

I went out to our kitchenette and I grabbed the bottle of whiskey we kept in our cupboard for special moments like these, and poured myself a glass. 

"I'll have one too," Cohen said as he walked in. 

"What for? Aren't you happy and all of that cringe stuff?" I asked and he deep breathed.

"Yes, but there's something that's been really bothering me and I'm glad you're drinking because it will make it a lot easier to tell you about it. And ask."

"What the bloody hell are you on about?"

"I love your sister so much and I want her for the rest of my life." I knew where this was going but I wanted to hear more. "We're still in school, so I'm going to wait, but I want to make her mine. Officially."

"Okay," I said, waiting for him to ask, purposely making him stress. 

"So," he said and gulped the rest of his drink, "I'm asking you, officially, if that would be okay- if you're okay- if you give your blessing." I wanted to laugh at how much he was struggling with is words. 

"Stop stressing, I give you my official blessing."

"Thank you mate, really," he said and then gave me a hug.

"Oh, there's something I have to make sure of. It's kind of awkward."

"Come on dude, you can't even talk normally and now you want to talk about something awkward."

'Shut up, it's important. I just want to make sure that when you and my sister are... you know, that you're being safe." The next words came out very easily. "Because I may have given you my blessing, but if anything happens prematurely, I will cut it off." 

He cleared his throat. "Message received, and we are... being, you know, safe and everything."

"Good," I said and we moved on. He then he gave me a look.

"Wait, why are you drinking? What's up? Is it still about that argument you had with Eleanor."

"How'd you know about that?"

"Luce may have told me. We don't really have secrets."

"Oh so you told her about that time at Harry Potter world when you-"

"No I have not, and we said we would forget it ever happened." I laughed.

"Right, sorry."

"So why are you having the special whiskey?"

"Well, after our argument we talked again, and shared a lot of stuff. Well I shared a fair bit, the most I have probably shared with someone who wasn't Luce. Anyway, we agreed to let stuff flow, which pretty much means we're going to be more. Which is what I have now realised I want."

"That's good then isn't it?" He asked, confused as I poured myself another.

"Well yes. But we agreed to focus on the talking part and leave out physical stuff seen as how that's all we've been doing with others. But we fucking kissed man and now all I want to do is the physical stuff." He erupted with laughter and I stood there waiting.

"Sorry, that's just the funniest thing"

"I'll take back my blessing," I threatened. He straightened up now.

"Right, that is not funny. So what are you going to do now?" He asked me, and I chuckled.

"Well I have to respect her choice. But I think we'll get around to that stuff eventually," I said, hoping it would be in the next month, or day. 

"Well I'm really happy for you man. I always knew this day would come," he said and then continued. "The day you got real feelings for a lady person." I had guessed he was getting tipsy, he was always a light weight.

"Thanks. Same here mate." 

He went to speak but the door flew open and my sister came running through to the kitchen where we were. 

"You did it! It's happening, I'm so bloody happy!" She ran to me and jumped into a hug. I laughed at her and she jumped down, smiling widely. 

"Context please," I stated. 

"Oh come on, I'm talking about Eleanor, she just told me. See what happens when you speak." 

"Yes, thank you," I said and produced a smile. 

"So are you happy?" She asked, hopeful, and her eyes widened when she looked at me. "Oh my god! You're smiling, like cheek to cheek. I didn't think it was possible." My smile dropped, and I felt blood rush to my cheeks. 

"He is very happy, but now he is horny," Cohen said and she covered her ears.

"That's all, let's move on. Why are you guys drinking the special whiskey?"

"Because he is sexually frustrated," Cohen said and she gave him a look.

"What, you asked," he said in protest and she laughed at him. 

"Alright, I'm going to head to the gym, you want to come?" I asked Cohen. He looked at Lucy and then back to me.

"I think I'll stay here and do some home-cardio while you're gone. Say an hour before your back?" He asked, grabbing my sisters hand and heading for his room. 

"Let's make it an hour and half, just in case," I said and I grabbed my gym bag and headed out. 

<><><><><><><>

I was ready. Sitting on our couch and waiting for either Blake or Cohen to come out so I would have someone to go to breakfast with. I was so worried that I would head down and be alone with Eleanor. 

"Gray, what are you doing?" I heard my sister ask. I hadn't realised she stayed over. I wonder how many times that happens. 

"I thought we could all go to breakfast together." She gave me a look, crossing her arms. 

"Alright my love let's go," Cohen had said from the room, he came out with her scarf and shot me a smile. "Hey, were you waiting for us?" I nodded. "One moment please." 

He put the scarf around her and pulled her into him by it and kissed her. They then walked towards where I stood at the door, and I saw my sister blush. 

"Scared to see Eleanor, huh?" Cohen guessed as we walked to the hall.

"Oh shove off," I said and he laughed.

We got to the hall and I mindlessly put food before joining my friends. And Eleanor. Dillon was here too, and I've never been so grateful for her presence. I looked at Eleanor who was taking her ear buds out. She looked up at me and I saw her hesitate to smile. 

"Morning Eleanor," I said, and she finally smiled. God I loved her eyes when she smiled. 

"Morning Ray," she said and I was warmed at the fact that she used her nickname for me. 

"Now that we've greeted each other," my sister said, looking at Eleanor and I, "I wanted to reiterate the plans for Blakes birthday get together. So, it's this wednesday, we're going to do it in their dorm, and Eleanor, you have to do something with him and then bring him back at a certain time so we can surprise him. We're going to get the the muddiest chocolate he has ever seen, and then we can all play mario kart. How perfect."

"He'll really love that," Eleanor said. "Wow, he's going to be nineteen, the oldest."

"That's only a big deal for you because you're the youngest," I joked, and she smiled, throwing a bit of her toast at me mischievously. 

"I have to go, I've got ballet practice before class," Dillon said and smiled innocently as she waved us goodbye. 

"We're going to um, research a cure for cancer," my sister said, giving Cohen a knowing look as they stood up.

"Hey mate, practice tonight yeah?" I nodded and then they left. I prepared myself before facing her and when I finally did she was already looking at me and I was left frozen. 

"So, how did you sleep?" She asked and I breathed out, no longer feeling nervous.

"I slept horribly, you?" She looked somewhat relieved at my answer.

"Same here." There was a silence, and what filled the silence was the reason behind why we both slept horribly but neither one of us said it out loud.