"Do not, give me the look with your eyes," I mumbled and I noticed him chuckle. "What's so funny?"

"Nothing, you're drunk, you should go to bed."

"Nice observation smarty pants. I'm so used to you misreading situations." His amused face dropped and he turned back to his window, taking a drag of his cigarette. 

I walked to him, taking the cigarette out of his hands and taking a long drag, 

"So why are you awake Ray?" I asked, looking out at the stars. Gosh they're pretty. I need to look at them more often. 

"I uh, couldn't sleep."

"Well, smoking won't help you dummy."

"I know."

"You can be really silly sometimes, I don't understand you. Especially when you broke up with me."

"I didn't," he said sternly, facing me. "You wanted a break."

"From the conversation, silly, and I think I need a break from this one too because I can't think with all this pounding in my head." He was frozen for a few moments before he took the cigarette out of my hands and butted it out. 

His hands were on me, and it felt like ice. "Don't touch me, you don't get the privilege."

"Why don't you have a jacket?" he asked and I shrugged my shoulders. He put a jacket on me, and put an arm around me to guide me out. Why was he making me walk. I just want to lie down. I wish some music was playing. 

"Where did you go tonight?" He asked me, the cold wind hitting my face as he guided me. He was an incredible ass. The wind that is. 

"To a party you twat. I had fun, I deserve fun. There was a hot guy, he was fun. I forgot his name- hey that hurt." I said, as his hand tighten around me. He loosened his grip.

"Sorry. You went with Blake?"

"Well, duh, who else would I make out with, besides that hot guy of course." It was more for Blake, I thought, I'd much rather kiss Graham. I looked up at him, and I poked his cheek.

"Don't do that," he said, sounding mad.

"Jeez, I didn't know poking you would make you so mad."

"That's not why I'm mad."

"Oh, is your long line of girls outside your door becoming too difficult for you to manage."

"I don't- How do you know about that?"

"I eavesdropped, so technically I'm not meant to know, shh, don't tell anyone."

"It wasn't a long line, there was only 2, and I hated it. Well afterwards."

"I like sex too. But after it with Tommy I didn't like myself at all."

"Tommy?" I heard him say.

"Yeah, that's what I said, isn't it."

"You need to just stop talking before you say anything else."

"But what did I do wrong? Why am I always doing the wrong thing. Everyone is always going to leave."

We got into my dorm, it was pretty. 

"See you're going to leave again now." I said to him as he carried me to my room. He put me in my bed, taking my shoes off and tucking me in. I was very comfortable. I'd me more comfortable with him in my bed too, but I don't think I'm allowed to do that with him anymore. 

"You did a good job, I could fall asleep any second."

"Don't fall asleep yet, you need some water."

"Fine, but I'm counting to a hundred and then I'm sleeping." He walked out of my room and I started counting. "1 sheep, 2 sheep..."

I felt him come back, but when I opened my eyes it was Lucy instead. 

"Hey, Lenny, I have some water here for you." She's so nice, I love her so much. Her brother... well that's another story. But I'm so glad Luce is here with me. 

"Thanks for bringing me back."

"I didn't bring you back," she said and my head pounded, of course she didn't how could she, I went out with Blake. 

"Oh, whoops, I'll thank Blake in the morning." Lucy rubbed my head as I laid back down. 

<><><><><><><>

"Oh my god, I'm never drinking again."

"We've heard that before," Dillon said.

"Oh, don't yell." I said, covering my ears still. "How did I get home? I don't remember. Was it Blake?"

"Yeah, you were really drunk. What made you drink so much last night usually you still have a few inhibitions intact when you come back." Luce asked me. 

"Well I didn't want to remember. I wanted to forget." She nodded, thinking. 

"So, you ready for classes?" Dillon asked. 

"I think I need to prepare myself for breakfast first." They both laughed, and I covered my ears at the burst of noise. 

Once I showered and took some much needed painkillers, we walked to breakfast and I put double-stacked pancakes with a decent amount of maple syrup on my plate. Blake was at swimming practice, and Dillon left early for rubbish clean-up, so I was left with the love-birds. 

They were being obnoxious so when Cohen whispered something to Luce I got suspicious. 

They stood up awkwardly, looking at me with a look on their faces like they've just done something wrong. 

"We will see you at lunch," Luce said. 

"Yeah, we just have to um... yeah." They rushed off before I could tease them for being such terrible liars and I turned to see them practically run out. I also saw someone approaching. Lovely. A hangover and I'm getting another giant headache that's approaching me right now. 

I turn around so I can finish the last bit of my pancakes and leave this awkward situation. I had one more bite when he had sat down with his plate and once I had it in my mouth I stood up.

"Eleanor," he said and I paused, looking at him. "Sorry, for saying your name, could you not leave, just yet." I didn't say anything, I just sat back down, swallowing my food. "How you feeling?"

"What do you mean?" I asked, my scowl not faltering on my face. 

"You were pretty drunk last night." No one would have told him, thats guaranteed, so there's only one explanation to why he knows. 

"How do you know?"

"You kind of barged in my room." I wanted to genuinely fall off the face of the earth. I was less embarrassed and more terrified at what I might have said. 

"What did I say?" I asked him and he seemed to be thinking. Why was he thinking? Did I say a lot? Oh my god this is killing me. Why couldn't I have gotten confused and gone into Cohen's room or something. If I was so bloody drunk I should've just fallen asleep on their couch. That has less repercussions than this. 

His deep thinking vanished as he looked up at me. "Nothing much, I didn't really understand you because most of your words were mumbling." I do not believe him. "So I just took you home and let my sister take over."

"I'm not thanking you." I stated. 

"I'm didn't expect you to."

"Well, if it's alright with you, I'm going to get going, so you can tell that blonde girlfriend of yours it's safe for her to come eat with you."

"So do you take food back to Tommy, or do you cook for him?"

"Excuse me?"

"Well, since you fucked him I can only imagine what else you must do for him." Why on this bloody goddam green earth did I have to mention having sex with Tommy while drunk in my exes room.

I thought I saw a glimpse of regret in his face by what he just said but I didn't want to look any further and find out. "I hate you," was all I said before storming off. 

Grahams pov

I dropped my head on the table, cursing myself. Seeing every emotion drain from her face and then hear her say those words. 

Why did I bring up Tommy that way? She brought up Amelia, whom I don't see anymore, and I told her that last night, I just wanted to get back at her. 

Obviously she didn't remember. She didn't even seem to remember seeing me last night. 

I definitely remember. Everything she said. 

She called me Ray. That doesn't sound like someone who hates me. 

She thinks I broke up with her. Did I? That whole argument was something I pushed away because it would pound in my head day and night. And now it's going to annoy me further because now it seems it was a miscommunication. I'm such an idiot. 

When she said she wanted a break, she wanted a break from the conversation.

I've been good at articulating anything, and usually what comes out is anger. Impulsive anger that I let out as soon as it comes into my brain. It's astronomically stupid. I need my sister, it flooded over me and all of a sudden I was up and rushing to where she might be. 

It was like when she was going through a tough time and I didnt know but I felt it somehow and it made me down. 

I found her in front of her literature class, and she saw me and came over to me straight away. I may not be able to tell her with words, because my track record proves that I am terrible at that, but my face is probably readable. 

"What happened? You told me last night that you still love her, and we left you alone at breakfast to talk, what the hell happened?" She asked and I wanted to laugh at how passionate she was. 

"I was an idiot, I mentioned Tommy again, but in- not a nice way." She nudged me. 

"You giant twat. Why?!"

"He makes me jealous, I can't control it, I just know that he's been with her and that he was her first love, well her only love."

"But she chose you. You of all the people she's been with, over Tommy, she wanted you. Still does, I can guarantee that."

"She told me she hated me, and she really meant it."

"Because you mentioned Tommy again, someone she wants to move on from. Honestly, I should've stayed." She rubbed her temples, seemingly more annoyed with the situation than I am.  

"Fucks sake." I said, looking down at her, feeling defeated. 

She put her arms around me, forcing me to hug her back. 

"Hang in there, just be patient." I pulled away before she did, like always. She always hugged until the other person let go. 

"Yeah, whatever."

"You can talk to me, always," she said, "but talk to Cohen too, or don't." She added and then continued, "he won't actually say the words, but he misses you. Honestly you men," she said before walking in her class.