A/N

Didn't have time to proof read sorry if there's any errors enjoy!

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There's no reason for me to be alive and that's the saddest thing to realize, that there's now reason for you to keep breathing when your not succeeding.....

Why am I breathing, I have the fans and my band but I'm unhappy. I can't find joy when I'm overweight and ugly.

Petes so talented and hot as hell so I'll never have a chance with him, besides he's married to Ashley so it doesn't matter.

"Ashley stop I don't want to argue with you!" I heard Pete yell into his phone as I was sitting on the couch writing down in my diary, "I already told you he's just a fr- you're filing for a divorce seriously! You know what fine I'll sign the fucking papers happily!" And he hung up, he sat down next to me and buried his face in his hands.

"Are you okay Petey?" I asked in a small voice, "Peachy" He replied sounding harsh,

I whimpered and looked down, "Patty I'm sorry it's just she's filing for a divorce because she thinks I'm flirting with you." That hurt my heart.

"Oh...." Was all I said before I stood up, "Good to know you're not!" I ran off crying.

I heard footsteps behind me yelling, "Patrick wait!" But I didn't listen I kept running until I got in the bathroom and cried my eyes out, "Patrick open the door!"

I sobbed my little fragile heart out, "I knew he didn't love me" I stood up looking in the mirror, "So fat, ugly, nerd, f*g, kill yourself!" I yelled into the mirror tears of anger streaming down my red cheeks,

"I fucking hate you!" I punched the mirror my hand bleeding with little shards of glass going everywhere.

I fell to the ground putting my knees to my chest rocking back in forth shaking like crazy, "Stupid, freak, kill yourself" Those words kept repeating until I could taking it anymore.

I got pills out of the cabinet and poured them into my shaking hand. I was about to swallow them when the door burst open and a sad, angry, worried looking Pete ran in and smacked the pills out of my hand.

"Why did you fucking do that! I was about to die! I was about to be happy!" He hugged me and I punched at his chest, "Why! why!"

"Patrick stop you're breaking my heart" Was he crying?

I looked up at his puffy red eyes, "Don't leave me, please don't ever" He sobbed,

At the moment I knew I was loved finally......

The end.....

(Just kidding)

*A year later*

I've been clean for a year and me and Pete were in a happy relationship, I got up from our shared bed and walked downstairs to make myself coffee.

I drank my coffee slowly until I heard something fall upstairs, "Pete you alright babe?!" I called up to him but got no answer.

I ran upstairs, "Pete babe!"

I opened the door our room and saw the love of my life hanging from the ceiling, he was still alive.

I screamed and ran to him cutting him down quickly, "No Patrick!" He sobbed breathless, he hit my chest over and over and memories came back to me,

"You said you wouldn't leave me! You tired to leave me, why Pete why?!" I sobbed holding him tight,

"You deserve better Patrick, better than me. I'm just a single dad now and I shouldn't have to bring you down, Ashley took Bronx from me because I'm such a fuck up Patrick!" He sobbed,

"Talk to me before you hang yourself from the ceiling!" I cried and that's how we fell asleep in each other's arms.

*Two years later*

Me and Pete cuddled on the couch watching old Christmas reruns, "Merry Christmas Patrick" Pete cheered as he gave me a small box,

I opened it and saw a promise ring, "Oh Pete I love it, open yours" I gave him mine which was a bigger box but still small,

Inside was a card, "Open it" I teared up, it read. 'My dear Pete we did it, we're better now than ever, we will never leave each other because we both wanted to leave this world. As long as one person loves me that's enough to keep me going everyday, knowing I'm on someone's mind all the time keeps me going, I'll never die when you're by my side. I love you -Pattycakes'

He gasped covering his mouth tears in his eyes before he kissed me, "I love you too Patrick I'll never leave you" He sobbed, We held each other happy for once......