They say money can't buy you no love
But a diamond cheers you right up

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    On occasions, Peter Parker is a dumb ass.

   He walks into Justine Hammer's lab confusedly on the next morning, from her invitation. He thinks too much of you that now his brains decide to goes blank.

"My dad and (Y/n)'s were old friends. But they parted, so it's understandable she doesn't recognize me." Justine says.

"I... okay." Peter doesn't know what to say, he's all confused with life in general.

"Don't be worry about me knowing your identity, I won't expose you, I'm not all about that. I think I might have something to help her actually."

   This would sound like total bullshit, to anyone but Peter Parker who is having an identity crisis.

"I got some real dirt on her friend, Harley Keener." She sits down on the couch and Peter joins, Justine acts all serious. "I know she wouldn't believe me, but she would believe you, so I want to warn you about him."

   "Is there anything worse he could have done than feeding her that sushi?"

   "What if I told you he was the one who shot her?"

Peter looks at her unbelievably. "No, wait what? I was angry for that stupid sushi picture, but that guy is Mr. Stark's trusted one, he wouldn't do that. Right?"

   "I don't know." She shrugs. "But isn't it weird he just showed up now?"

   "Why would he shot his best friend, or to my suspicions, his crush?"

   "I'm trying to answer the same question." She says, then brings a video up from a security camera...

   ... of Harley, holding a sniper from a tall building nearby on the day you were shot.

   "Where did you get this?"

   "I own myself a company, we're doing similar things to Stark, but with less ego. We have our own ways."

    "I need to warn (Y/n)."

   "Isn't she opening her potato factory today?"

   "That's the whole point. Because we're angry at each other, she invited Harley instead of me. I need to hurry up." Peter takes out his Spider suit from his backpack before looking back at her. "I could count on you with my secret?"

   "No telling. Wouldn't benefit me anyway."

   "Thank you for the heads up about Harley Keener. I'll owe you once." He says, before putting the spidey hat on and swings out.

   Justine watches as he goes, then scoffs all alone to herself.

   "Easier than I thought... Now the harder part..."

   She gets up to be prepared.

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    It's Stark Potato factory opening gala day!

𝙎𝙏𝘼𝙍𝙆 𝙋𝙊𝙏𝘼𝙏𝙊™

You're standing in front of all the people in the gala with a fancy glass of .... canned coke. Because Tony obviously forbids you from alcohol.

   "Looking sad like a depressed onion cutting itself." Says Bucky, walking in to stand next to you.

   "Oh, you. What, me?" You ask.

   "Yeah, lately you've been looking so done with life. You are not even in your twenties, look at Steve and me, it makes sense for us to be depressed when we're century olds."

    "Okay winter boomer. Though I'm young I was traumatized too."

"Well-"

"My mother was a hydra agent. My dad didn't know I existed. My hand was crushed. I exposed myself because of god damn cookies. People think I'm a spoiled brat. My friend tried to kill me. I shot her in her skull. Her mum erases some of my memories. I was trick by Harrison that I was his girlfriend. Though I got it back, the person who meant the most to me isn't here. Now I want to yeet off of the Stark tower."

   "...oh oh."

   "And yeah I know you and I are chill now but you kinda killed my grandparents."

   "AH-"

   You start welling up. "I'm so sorry, I'm a genius and also a weak ass hoe."

   "...What's a hoe?" Bucky asks.

   You burst out crying.

   Captain from the other side of the party sees you and comes running, he grabs your shoulder before the guests see the host of the gala having a mental breakdown.

   "Did I make her cry oh dang..." Bucky worries softly.

   "I got it, thanks Buck." Captain sits you down behind the curtain of the stage, where nobody could see you. "Alright (Y/n), tell me what's wrong."

   "He was my potato."

   "Huh."

   "And I was his potato."

   "Is this what Tony calls gen z terms thingy?"

   You are about to cry another round because even though boomers try to understand gen z, they couldn't anyway. When Harley Keener walks in...

   "(Y/n), are you okay?"

   "I'm really not, not gonna lie." You sob.

   Harley bows politely. "I can talk if you want to." Captain figures it's better for teenagers to take care of each other so he walks away. Harley sits next to you and pats your shoulder. "It's about Peter isn't it?"

   You nod repeatedly, still crying.

   "...You know, relationships are hard, and sometimes there's a bitter moment, but those moments are for the two of you to try and grow together."

   "He thinks we're sushi cheating."

   "Yeah, it's weird being called sushi guy." He scoffs, and so are you. "All you both need to do is trust each other. Trusting is the key to healthy love."

   "Maybe he didn't lie about that Justine girl. Maybe he actually was caught up in a moment." You sniff and lay your head on his shoulder.

   "Yeah, just like us. We're good friends. You're like a sister to me. Come on, us in love? I'm crushing on Natasha and I've told you."

   "Oh, sorry to say but no chance. Sis is too sass for relationships."

   "The way you speak is so frictionless."

   Tony Stark walks in at the two of you in the backstage. "Oh, you guys."

   "Hey, Mr. Mechanic." You say on behalf of Harley, everyone chuckles at the inside joke.

   Harley smiles. "You feeling better? Just be happy for today, you pulled all this off by yourself. Then figure it out with Peter later, okay?"

   "Thanks, Harley." You hug him quickly then turns to Tony. "Yes daddy?"

   "Ew just call me dad. Anyway can we talk?"

   Harley tries to hide his laughter. The relationship between you Starks is so funny to him, to anyone, to the world. Your lives are a joke.

   Tony and you walk to the backstage dressing room, you help him fix his tie while he wipes tears off your face with his sleeves.

   "Heard from Captain you cried. Peter issue is that bad?" Tony asks.

   "Really bad."

   "Alright, let's go murder his ass."

   "Dad-"

   Tony chuckles softly. "I know you can't live without him, I know he can't live without you either. I'm just kidding kiddo. You'll be alright, just need to stop being angry at each other and listen to each other."

   "You're irritating. Love you. But like, he really thinks Harley and I are more than friends." You roll your eyes in Stark style. "Because he fed me sushi? Bruh."

   "And what was that thing about you thinking the same with his girl-friends with a hyphen."

   "Yeah, this girl Justine Hammer, tries to be me and pretends to be a lesbian to earn my trust then steal my potato."

   Tony stunts.

   You look at him weirdly. "You okay? -- Ugh, hello, Tony Stark is error, please reboot." You try to joke and tap his head but he grabs your hands.

   "Who?"

   "What? The girl?"

   "You said, Justin Hammer?"

   You nod slowly. "Ugh, actually it's Justine-- like teen, she's a new girl at school. Caught him hanging with her when he was late to meet Pep."

   "Did you have amnesia?"

   "Actually I did? But because of Potato, remember?"

   Tony freaks out. "No! The guy that copycatted me, if that is even a word, who tried creating a suit and brought the guy whiplash to almost kill me and Rhodes. Guess his name (Y/n)!"

   "John Cenaaa. I know it's bad timing, can't help it."

   "It's Justin Hammer!"

   You stare at him with eyes widened.

   "Oh my god... That's his daughter?"

   "Yes!"

   "Fuck!" That's how you speak with your dad.

   "Fuck is right!" That's how he speaks to you as well.

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Neko : can't find any dad jokes... so at the end of each chapter i will tell you about my
marvel experience.

I have written Stark's (first book) with its first chapter and published, but it was so bad in my opinion I had to delete it. The version 200k people read to this day is actually a second draft.