Whoever said money can't solve your problem
Must not have had enough money to solve them

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Peter Parker

   "Guys! She! Is! Toast!"

One of my classmates burst into the room with her phone, I was trying not to be the center of attention by hiding myself inside my hoodie, not sure how long this will work.

Everyone gathered up around her to watch the newest new, it was about (Y/n) Stark. My girlfriend, yeah, that one.

"Wait what happened?" Flash asked.

"They tried to hide it but the footage was released, (Y/n), our friend! My friend! Got mother fucking shot! She fucking dead!" The girl yelled. To be honest I don't even think (Y/n) remember her name.

"What? No way!" Flash bent his face to watch the footage from the phone, so did all of my other classmates. I had to listen to the whole thing happened again.

Then, after they were left speechless by how brutal the bullet went through her and it looked as if there was no way she could've lived, they turned to look at me.

"Peter! Is (Y/n) dead!?" Flash asked, he had a somewhat exciting smile on his face.

"She's fine... She's recovering..." I tried avoiding them all but they crowded over me.

"Are you sure?" Cindy asked.

"What do you mean am I sure? I was there when her heart stopped."

"So she's dead!!" They started crying.

"No! We got her back!" I yelled.

"You have to tell us everything that happened! We're so worried about her!" Flash said. Why the fuck you lying. Why you always lying.

"I'm just her boyfriend and I can't tell this kind of information like a school gossiping. You guys will get to the details when she has an announcement." I said.

"But we're her friends! We're supposed to know before anyone else if she's okay or not. Right guys? We love her!" Flash continued. Oh my god, stop fucking lying.

After all, they still haven't got a clue I was Spider-man too, and not just (Y/n) Stark's sugar baby. Which I'm not by the way.

To be honest, I don't know if that word still applies, boyfriend I mean, ever since she woke up we barely speak. I was around her all the time, giving her potatoes and care, but I was too guilty to look her in the eye to see how disappointed she is with me.

"Dude, you alright?" Ned asked, he's been the only one I told everything with, and how her chest now has to have the arc reactor on to keep her alive because of me.

"No... not really." I made sure no one in the class was listening.

"She really needs to announce she is okay though. I mean, people really do love her, most of them, but the video was just too god damn funny and memeable, they made memes too, look."

He showed me a short video.

It was her getting out of the car, then got shot, and as she fell they made her died in Minecraft style, You died!, the text said, exp and diamonds spilled out of her Minecraft corpse before it disappeared and asked if I wanna respawn.

I stared at it for a while.

I held in my chuckle.

Damn it, Peter, that's the only girl who loves you truly almost died and was in pain, don't freaking chuckle.

I chuckled.

"Dude!" Ned chuckled along.

"I mean," I signed. "People knows she survived 'cause if otherwise the Avengers would have said something already, that's why they're turning it into memes."

"I know, I know." Ned muttered. "Anyway, you going in to see her again today right?"

"Yes... The Avengers is throwing a small little party for her survival."

"You don't look so happy. She survived miraculously and didn't break up with you yet, you should be really happy about it."

"I don't know man..." I rubbed my temples. "I just have this bad feeling..."

   When the class was over, I left in quite a speed so other classmates wouldn't come chasing me about her. I changed into my suit, and with a backpack on my bag I swung across the city, stop by a shop to get more potatoes before I eventually arrived.

   "Hello, Spider-man!" The guards in the facility waved happily at me.

   "Hey, guys! Want some potatoes? I got plenty." I wanted to share them some like I always do.

   "Oh, go ahead Spider-man, you're gonna need a lot of those potatoes inside."

   "Oh, no, is she not in a good mood?"

   "No, it's just a party day! You'll need enough chips for everyone. Go right inside, they're about to throw it!" These guards are so chill and friendly. Or maybe they're like this only with me because I'm a kid...

   Once I was inside I realized this place was decorated, all the lights were in bright red, and there were balloons everywhere with a big sign on the wall said, WELCOME BACK LITTLE STARK.

   I took off my mask once it was safe enough for my identity, I said hi to Barnes and Wilson. They weren't that happy to see me.

   "Peter!" Scott shouted at me. Finally, someone I can relate to.

   "Hey!"

   "Come right this way, it's about to start." He put his hand over my shoulder.

   "What's about to start?"

   "The musical show that Thor made for her!"

   "What the--"

   I was dragged into an audience's seat, (Y/n) was in the middle of a tiny stage, with Natasha, Wanda and some other people, having popcorns in their hands. I glanced at all the potatoes in my bag sadly.

   "Is this going to happen dad?!" (Y/n) shouted.

   "It is just hold on!" Mr. Stark yelled back from behind the curtains, the girls laughed at how the boys made so much of a mess in the backstage.

   She finally noticed I was there.

   She smiled softly at me, our eyes met for the first time in a week.

   Guilt hits me harder than a car, and I've been hit by a car twice this week, I looked away so sudden then ate Scott's popcorn nervously. I felt her confusedly watch me from her wheelchair, but I didn't know what to do.

   Not long enough for this weird tension between us could increase, Tony Stark pushed through from behind the red curtain with a smile.

   "Ladies and gentlemen," He said loud and clear. "Welcome to the furious life of (Y/n) Stark, directed by Thor Odinson, with the casts from the Avengers and narrative by me, Tony Stark."

   We clapped, (Y/n) yelled Out of topic but I love you dad! From the crowd and Tony tried not to smile on the stage.

   He cleared his throat. "So! Let's get this started!"

   The curtains opened, with Captain America in the middle wearing Tony's beard, and Clint wearing (Your mother's hairstyle)'s wig.

   "Bruahhhhhhahhahahah." (Y/n) laughed so hard at the first glance and fell off her wheelchair.

   The two on the stage tried not to laugh as well, they held each other's hands and stood still as Tony Stark continued his narration.

   "Once upon a time, it was actually 2001. Tony Stark, the handsome, genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist--"

   "That was not in the script!" Thor shouted from the backstage.

   Tony winked at (Y/n). "Tony Stark was at a party, when he was approached by (Mum/Name) (L/n), perhaps he was too drunk to realize she was indeed a Hydra agent! Sorry!"

   Captain as Tony Stark and Clint as your mom, hugged and cuddled, and Clint put on quite a show, he kicked Captain into the bed, and straddled over, Captain was so shy he turned red. Natasha and Wanda could've died from laughing too hard.

   The bed got dragged out before it was too mature and everything was quiet for a while until Clint walked back with a fake pregnant stomach.

   "Back at the time Hydra had a lot of child from many good brains and influential people in hope to be using them in the future, until fortunately, the project was abandoned and the children were supposed to be killed."

   I wondered who would be playing (Y/n), Thor walked out looking exactly like her, and I was not disappointed.

   Clint hugged Thor lovingly as if he was his own child at first, and then, according to the life of (Y/n) Stark, he smiled evilly and took out a gun and put it behind Thor's head without him knowing.

   "Luckily, one of her colleagues couldn't resist the adorableness of (Y/n) Stark and helped her escape, she spent her time with the uncle until-- Ugh, Thor, this is too specific, it's depressing Imma pass." Tony told Thor through the microphone.

   "Okay!" Thor approved.

   "So, once she was truly alone, she walked right straight into the Stark tower, claiming she's his daughter. We thought she was crazy until the blood test came back and she was really his sperm!"

   Captain walked in and hugged Thor.

   "Yeah! I'm iron man's daughter now bitches!" Thor laughed.

   "She was forced to learn in a normal school, but Tony Stark, as a dad, was very concerned of her safety, hell he made incredible numbers of enemies. So, he called up Peter Parker that he recruited back then."

   Who's gonna play me??

   Bruce Banner walked out wearing Spider man pajamas they sell at Walmart.

   "Hey... guys.." He smiled tiredly. "I'm Peter Parker... Don't tell anyone though... I'm a teenager and I'm Spider-man and I can shoot webs too..."

   He looked like a lethargic version of me. I kinda dig it.

   "Peter!..." Bruce and Thor jumped then hugged.

   "Oh I love you, you're such a potato to me." Thor mocked me and (Y/n), she hid in embarrassment behind Natasha's back, Scott slapped me repeatedly on my back.

   Steve walked in and acted surprised.

   Tony gave the narration shamefully. "Yeah... Her dumb dad didn't know it for a while, until they kissed in front of everyone!"

   Thor tried to kiss Bruce but Bruce kicked him off, then Thor went back in again, and Bruce screams No, this happened like 5 times until Mr. Banner has had enough and said Stop! then went a little green. So Thor gave up.

   What even was that.

   "Oh, the great (Y/n) Stark got in trouble again, she almost lost her memory if it wasn't for the MVP, potato!" Mr. Stark said. Thor and Bruce hugged again as Captain was throwing potato chips from the second floor to make potato confetti.

   "But then--"

   The people on the stage went slow motion as Clint wearing all black head to toe to blend in with the background walked in with a bullet and said.  "Whooshhhhhhh."

   And put it on Thor's heart.

   "Ahhhhhh...." Thor fell on his knees.

   "But Tony Stark would never ever let anything happen to his firstborn, and she was back again."

   Iron bearded Mr. Rogers taped an LED light on Thor's chest and she woke up again.

   "Holy hell! I'm alive!" Thor rose up, no, (Y/n) doesn't allow me to use that word. Thor got back up on his feet and smiled.

   "Woo!" The crowd clapped for him and then for (Y/n), she nodded as thanks.

   "Because the world needs (Y/n) Stark. Therefore: She is our world." Tony Stark smiled.

   The curtains closed then opened again as the actors held hands and bowed, we stood up and gave them hands, it was very happy for everyone, except for the two of us who were the stars of the show.

   I should try and make it better, but damn I couldn't even look at her.

   But we're talking about (Y/n) Stark here, and she's good at making moves.

   "It's time we need a talk right?" She asked from behind me.

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What TV show do the daughters of Asgard watch?

Neko : Thought it'd be a good idea to have a chapter that captured what has happened in Stark's 1, bc some readers forgot everything, hell, I don't even remember what I wrote. So there you go.

Ps. They're supposed to be dad jokes by Tony btw