Okay, don't read this if you don't like ranting. Be warned.

So I'm having friend troubles right now. I've been best friends with this girl since I was like twelve, and we played football(soccer) together and all, but like we've drifted apart lately. Basically our 'friend group' or whatever the hell you wanna call it expanded. Three girls who were friends with our other friend just like, joined. And one of the girls gets on well with me, but I haven't had a real connection with the other two. Like, they whisper about me, and laugh at me, when I'm right. There.

Anyway, so I've grown closer with a different girl, and my old bestie (can I just call her Maddie for the sake of things?) got closer with the other girls.

And apparently 'Maddie' posted these pics of her and these girls out today on her Insta. And she hasn't hung out with me all summer. And to be fair, it's not like I reached out to her, and she said no. Like, I'm not blaming her in the least, or anything, it seems like a mutual separation.

But I'm conflicted. She's been my friend for so long, so it feels kinda weird drifting apart. I mean we have so much history, and inside jokes and stuff. The problem is, is that we don't tell those inside jokes, or reminisce about the time we did this or that, because things have just been so tense lately. And I've heard that it isn't good to stay in a relationship just because it's familiar and old, if you're not having a good time, and it just doesn't seem like a good fit.

We don't even text anymore. I haven't actually spoken to her in a while. I don't know what's going on with her any longer. She went to see a musical in the West End yesterday, and I literally found out about it because my friend showed me a pic she posted. When she went on holiday, I hadn't a clue until my mum told me.

I just don't honestly know if I want to be friends with her anymore. We don't fight really, but we just don't talk. We have terrible chemistry. She has gotten so close with the other girls that it feels like they've formed a new friend group. They have a group chat without me.

And you know, I don't love those girls. They've never really treated me that well. But it still kinda hurts. And when you take 'Maddie' and her new friends out of my life, it's just me and my other bestie. But she has other friends too, in different years, groups, etc. And I just have her, and one other friend who I hardly see anymore, not because we aren't close, just her granny is really strict so I can't see her outside of school... which is out.

Life is just pretty crappy right now. I despise my job. I'm going on holiday, but that isn't till next weekend (the upside is that I'm going to America so I can see Ant Man and the Wasp earlier than it would play in the UK).

I guess I'm asking what I should do about my friend. We are just so different. She has new friends, and a new life that I'm hardly, if at all a part of. She doesn't get my personality. I used to have anger issues, and she made fun of them. I had to go see someone for it, and was 'treated' but it hurt pretty bad to see my best friend at the time, make fun of something that I wasn't in control of. I'm also really shy in person. Stick me in front of people I'm comfortable with, and I'll talk until my mouth falls off. But in front of new people, good luck getting a word out of me in real life (I'm much more social online). I'm just so confused. We don't fit together. But at the same time, I feel like we shouldn't throw away years of friendship. But then again, it's normal to no longer be friends with your childhood mates as time goes by.

And I feel like it would be a shitty move to only be friends with her because without her I only have two friends. And I know I probably sound  like a bitch, but I don't even enjoy hanging out with her. The last time we hung out, outside of school, she just suggested to watch TV the whole time. Guys if I hadn't made it clear, the last time we hung out, just the two of us, was probably a year and a half ago.

I don't know what to dooooooooooooo☹️

Also one more thing. I hear people talking about meeting Tom Holland in January 2019. Like where... because I know he did ACE Comic-Con last January, but when I went on he ACE website all the info was about the Comic-Con in June... so if anybody is meeting him soon at a Comic-Con, will you please please please tell me where, so I can beg my mum to let me go😂