It all feels so strange. Days pass by full of laughter, training, and tender moments with Tom as I learn how to be someone worth loving again. Before I even realize it, we've spent three weeks here at the monastery, which marks a little over two months of my time with Tom done, and I don't know what to feel about it except nervous and scared.

I push those thoughts to the side as I go back to what I was doing—study the would-be assassin's knife and the symbols etched into the blade and handle. Something about them is familiar in a way I can't quite place.

The fire crackles in front of me as I turn the dagger over and over again as if that will remind me where I first saw it. It also helps distract me from dwelling on what's going to happen when Tom and I finally make it back to the capitol.

"You alright, love?" I jump at the voice, but quickly relax when I realize it's Tom. A blush rises on my cheeks at the nickname, and it only increases as he presses a kiss to my cheek. "I thought you'd be asleep by now Especially since we have a long day of traveling ahead of us.

At least, I assume we do, but it doesn't explain why you're still awake and staring at that." He says as he gives me that look he gets whenever I try to bring up that night or anything to do with returning. Not that I can blame him. I don't want to think about how in less than two days we'll be back to the cold confines of the capital.

"Don't give me that look, please. I know you don't want to talk or even think about it, but just because we're here or you're about to take your seat, it doesn't mean we're safe. All it means is they haven't found us yet, but that's all going to change when we leave." Tom sighs and flexes his jaw as he looks away. I take a deep breath and put my hand on his cheek to turn him back towards me. "I know you don't wanna talk about it, but we have to at some point. We can't just pretend we're going to stay here forever."

He presses a gently kiss to my palm and chuckles bitterly. "Can't we pretend for a little while longer?"

"I wish we could, but we don't have much longer." The words make tears build in my eyes at the thought of what could happen we go back. "I don't wanna lose you."

"Hey, hey," Tom whispers as he pulls me into his lap and rubs calming shapes in my back, "you're not gonna lose me if I can help it. I know we're fairly early in this relationship, but I'm gonna say it. I love you, Y/N, have for a while now, and if you'll have me, I want to be in your life for good."

"It's not that easy though, especially when you take your seat on the council." I whisper back to him and look up into the brown eyes I fell in love with. "I love you too, but it doesn't change the laws against me. Legally I'm not allowed anything, no marriage, no property, nothing."

"Then I'll change the laws." He replies with all serious and sincerity. "Please, don't give up on us now. I promise, I'll protect you. Not to mention, my best friend will be a council member too, which means we'll have an ally."

"We'll still be gravely outnumbered by our enemies." I sigh and look back at the knife. "Some of which I fear are already working against us."

"What do you mean?" He asks as he lets me up.

"I mean, after I told you everything, it started bringing it all back. I began to remember things I didn't even realize. One of them was the symbol on that blade." I pick up the dagger and spin it in my hand. "That's why I've been in here. I wanted to see if there was any clue as to what it was or where I could have seen it."

"And?" Tom asks brows pulled together in concern as I pass him a page I copied from one of the monetary's books. "Is this—?"

"The symbol of the Melenti, who are supposed to be nothing but myth? Yes. It took a lot of research to dig up that, but I found another document in the archives about their beliefs. They" I twist the fabric of my blouse in my fingers as the words get caught in my throat. "They used to kill children who didn't show promises of strong magic. These people were monsters who believed in powerful magic, bloodlines, and the eradication of anything that didn't align with the two."

"How—how did people like this go unnoticed?"

"They didn't. People like them rarely do." I grit my teeth. "You just won't find them in any traditional magicae history book because they erased the ugly parts of their past as if it would erase the blood with it."

"And you really think someone is trying to revive this group?" Tom asks as he looks at the dagger in horror.

"I think the group never died, just changed their colors." I slam the blade into the desk. "Emryss's talent is spell detection, and she said there's three separate blood spells on that blade. As you and I both know, blood spells only last as long as the caster lives and carry their unique signature, which means three people are alive and put a blood curse on that dagger."

"This is—a lot to process." Tom sighs and tugs at his hair.

"I know. I just—I wish I could remember where I saw it before." I complain and glare at the dagger as if it will tell me the answer.

"Well, you're never going to remember if you keep sitting here stressing about it." Tom tells me as he softly runs a hand through my hair. "Especially if you're exhausted, love. Please, try to get some sleep?"

"Fine." I sigh and turn to Kandra, "Vigil et marnirn." She nods in understanding and pads away just outside the firelight to keep watch, and Tom wraps an arm around me and pulls me up until I'm resting on his chest. Between his warmth and the fire, it's only a few minutes before I'm out cold.

It feels like only a few minutes before we're woken up by the sunlight streaming through the leaves. I can't help but grumble and nestle my head into his chest. "Tell me something, Tom. How intent are you on taking a council seat?"

"Pretty set on it, love. Especially since it means I can help bring about a change for you and others that need it."

"I hate the fact that you're such a good person. Otherwise I'd try to convince you to run away back to the monastery with me." I sigh and push myself into a sitting position. "But, I know this is something you have to do. I love that you're care so much about people."

Tom shakes his head with that goofy smile only he gets. "I love that you're willing to support me through this." He pauses and gives me a strange look as he whispers, "I love you."

It takes me a moment to really process what he just said, and the moment it hits, tears begin to brim in my eyes as I place a hand on his cheek, "I love you too." I press a lingering kiss to cheek before standing up. "Come on, we have to pack up and get moving. I'm fairly certain your family would highly disapprove if we were late to for your ceremony."

We walk along in a peaceful silence, which is only occasionally broken by Kandra's panting and the leaves crunching under our feet. I do my best to avoid dwelling on the idea of what might happen next for us. Because no matter what Tom says, neither of us knows for sure.

All I know is that I didn't go through everything to be with him just to let the same council that ruined my life take another thing away from me now. I don't care what I may have to do, but I know I'll do anything to keep him safe.

His hand finds mine as we near the Holland estate, and we slip in through the servant's entrance without being noticed. "I'll go let your parents know we're back and give them the update on what I found." I tell him with a soft smile and reassuring squeeze of his hand. "When I finish, I'll find you."

"Why don't I come with you?" Tom asks his cheeks turning a bit pink. "You know, in case any would be assassins make an appearance."

I can't help but giggle as we quietly walk to the library, where we find Nikki and the rest of the Holland boys. The former smiles when she sees us. "I'm so glad you're back. I was beginning to worry that you wouldn't make it in time."

"All things considered, we made it back sooner than I expected, but there was no way we would have missed it. I know how important this is. Not to mention, I made a promise, and I always keep my promises."

"It's greatly appreciated." She replies, but goes quiet when she notices Tom's hand still holding mine. "I see you two have become close."

"Councilwoman Holland, if you'll allow me to—" She holds up a hand to stop me.

I feel my heart pounding in my chest as her face remains stoic, but it quickly morphs into a smile. "You don't need to explain yourself. I saw this coming when I saw the look on my son's face after you were injured." Her words make me breathe a sigh of relief. "You both have my blessing, but I would like to have a conversation with you later. For now, I'll let you clean up and get ready."

"Thank you." Tom says as he hugs his mother.

Time passes by in a haze of nerves as I bathe and clean up for the ceremony tonight. It's odd; the stark contrast between life at the monastery and life here. A part of me kind of enjoys the soft fabrics, warm blankets, and beds that feel like clouds. The rest misses the enchanting smells of of Namier's herbal blends and the comfort of being understood and accepted.

I suppose that's always been a problem for me. I've always felt torn between the two parts of myself and my life. Between the glitter of high magicae and the lack of anything that comes with being folamh. Except, now, I feel as though I have a place with Tom. For the first time since I left the monastery, there is a place for me where I can be myself with no titles.

I'm disturbed from my thoughts by a knock on the door, and a moment later, Nikki enters with a soft smile, followed by a maid with a bundle in her arms. "Xenia, I hope you don't mind, but I brought you something. I would be honored if you would wear it to the ceremony tonight."

As she speaks the other woman unwraps the bundle to reveal a stunning royal blue and gold dress before bustling out. My voice catches in my throat as I take it all in. "I can't. This is too much."

"Please, I wore it for my own council ceremony." Nikki smiles as she sits on the bench at the end of the bed, "You know, I always wanted a daughter. Of course, that never happened, but I always knew I would find one when my sons found their matches. I'm happy you and Tom found each other."

"I am too." I reply and blush. "He's honestly better than I deserve, but I love him with everything in me."

"I have to disagree with you. I believe you and my son are a wonderful match." She smiles and shakes her head with a light laugh. "You know, it wasn't until you left that I finally recognized you, Y/N."

My palms grow sweaty as she says my actual name, and I swear the room begins to tilt and spin until I sit down on the bench next to her. "How—how did you know me?"

She smiles and brushes my hair from my face in the most motherly way. "I knew you when you were just a young girl. Our families have been allies for generations, but your parents and I thought we could truly solidify the alliance and protect you at the same time. I met you during one of the meetings with your mother regarding the betrothal."

"Wait—betrothal? I was supposed to marry one of your sons?"

"Yes, it was supposed to be Harry, but now that I see you and Tom together I realize that would have been a mistake." She smiles and takes my hand. "You make him happy in a way I've never seen, and I hope that one day we can officially welcome you to the family."

"We'll have to see how the next few days play out first. For now, I'll graciously accept your offer to wear this beautiful gown" I reply and smile at her. "Can I ask though—what were my parents like? Everything I remember about them is faded."

"Of course. Why don't I tell you about them as we get you ready?" She offers, and I readily accept. I then spend the next hour listening raptly to every detail she can provide about them. "I'm sorry to say your mother passed away about two years after you left, and your father passed not long after. They assumed you had died, and as hard as they tried to keep holding out hope, it broke them. Ever since your family's council seat has been left empty, but perhaps, that can be rectified."

"I doubt anyone would let me take a council seat." I reply and look at her through the mirror. "All things considered, I don't exactly match a lot of the council's stances and opinions, and I haven't made many good impressions."

"You'd be surprised at how much lineage can accomplish, and I think that the council could use some fresh perspective." She frowns as she continues, "We've remained grounded in tradition and the old ways for too long. I believe we need to change in order to continue, and maybe you can start that process. For now, we best be leaving for the ceremony."

"Of course, and thank you for helping me get ready. I doubt I could have done much on my own." Nikki just smiles as as we leave and meet everyone before getting into the carriage.

Tom's eyes widen when he spots us. "Xen—Xenia, wow. You look absolutely amazing, love."

"You clean up well too." I reply with a laugh, but there's this sinking feeling in my gut about the ceremony. He seems to notice the shift as we climb into the carriage and offers me a puzzled look. "It's nothing. I'm just worried that whoever is after you might make another move tonight."

"Which is why I wanted to talk to you about something." He pauses and grabs my hand, which makes Harry and Sam both give each other knowing looks. "I want you to be up there with me. I'd like to officially have you as my council guardian. That way, you don't have to leave, would be under council protection, and give us a real chance."

"Are you sure? Because appointing me as your council guardian is essentially a life long commitment. You'd be stuck with me from here on out."

"I'm absolutely sure." He smiles at me and squeezes my hand. "There's no one else I trust."

"Then, I accept." My answer makes a beaming smile break across Tom's face. "I hope you two are all right with this?"

"Are you kidding? I'm pretty the whole family loves you." Harry replies with a grin. "Plus, we'd hate to see you go so soon."

We continue on in the idle conversation until we reach the main palace, and the moment the carriage stops the impending dread comes back in full force. I try to push it aside, but as Tom and I separate from the family and join the other future council members and guardians.

My eyes keep sweeping the room for any possible threats, but all I find are stoic magicae and banners bearing each houses colors and crests. I keep coming back to a three in particular. It takes me a second to recognize what's drawing my attention.

"Tom," I whisper and grab his hand while the other reaches for my dagger, "we have a problem."

"What?"

It's only now that Nimera seems to notice me. A scowl pulls across her features. She whispers something to her guardian, who stares me down and reaches for his own weapon. "Tom, I need you to run and not look back." I tell him before dropping into a fighting stance and exposing my dagger.

The guardian takes a moment to assess me before making his first move. He lunges forward, blade exposed, but clearly overestimates since I easily dodge to let him run into the wall and knock himself out. I decide to make my own bold move before the other two future guardians can get a strike in.

My arm wraps around Nimera to pin her arms against her side, my blade rests a few inches from her throat. This causes a mass panic and uproar. Guards rush in with weapons drawn and ready to attack regardless of any damage it may cause.

"Xenia," Tom calls as he pushes his way forward with eyes wide and full of panic, "what's going on?"

"The Melenti are here." I call back in Netesh and nod to Nimera's the two other house crests. "Look, they built the group symbol into their family crests. It's where I recognized it. One of the councilor's that was visiting my father the day I left."

Nimera seems to recognize the name of their group, and her lips curl back into a snarl. "You know," she whispers only loud enough for me to hear, "my father should have just finished the job himself. Maybe if we had, we wouldn't be getting exposed right now."

"Yeah, but maybe if someone hadn't left the dagger behind, I wouldn't have found out."

She huffs in frustration and struggles against me as she shouts, "Xavier, you complete idiot. We could have ruled this country if you had an ounce of bravery or sense."

"If you think you could have done better, then why did you force me too? I never wanted to kill anyone, much less another council initiate." He shouts in retaliation, and the admission makes the guards surge forward to take him, Nimera, and the other one that I don't know the name of into custody.

The moment the three of them are in custody, I'm immediately put in the same hold, which causes Tom to vehemently protest. "No, you can't take her into custody. She's my guardian."

"I'm sorry, sir, but she attacked a council initiate and is a folamh. Council law states she is to be taken into custody, pending trial."

"You can't. Because she's also my betrothed, and council law states the family of council members and initiates are protected by the council." He interjects and rolls his shoulders back to look more authoritative. It falters when his eyes meet mine. "That is—if she'll have me."

"Ma'am?" One of the guards questions in a gruff voice. "Is this true?"

"Yes," I whisper, unable to believe that Tom is actually asking me to marry him, "yes, it is."

The guards look at each other for a few moments before releasing me, and Tom wastes no time in wrapping me in his arms. "I'm so sorry, love. Are you all right?"

"Yes, I was just about to ask you the same thing." I pull away to look him in the eye. "I have to ask though. Did you just ask me to protect me? Or did you really mean it?"

"I meant it, darling." He replies and brushes his thumb over my cheek. "It was sooner than I had planned on asking you, but I've known that I wanted this since you told me everything—maybe even sooner than that."

"That's a relief. For a second, I thought you asked me just to protect me, but now that I know, you know I will happily marry you." Tom smiles wider than ever before as he presses a passionate kiss to my lips. "Now go take your council seat."

"Only if you petition to take yours." He replies with a mischievous grin.

"Fine. We'll be the first official council couple." I smile at him and shake my head. "I'm sure we can work it all out later, but for now, I'm going to become your council guardian."

"I don't think I'd have it any other way." He grins and presses another kiss to my lips before dragging me with him back to our place. It's only now that I truly understand and feel I have a place in this world, even if it took me a while to realize it. It was with Tom.