Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-man (Tom Holland Movies)

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Characters: Tony Stark | Iron Man, Peter Parker | Spider-man, Pepper Potts, Academic Decathlon Team, Sam Wilson | Falcon

Tags: School Shootings, BAMF Peter Parker, Genius Peter Parker, Peter has hidden talents

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Brief Warning: as seen in the tags, there is a brief mention of school shootings though it isn't too graphic and is only briefly touched upon. if this is one of your triggers, please proceed with caution.

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it's all in the timing and misdirection

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The thing about Peter Parker is that unless you explicitly ask him, he'd never tell you a thing. It's not that he was a secretive person per se, though he'd concede that he had a lot of secrets (read: Spider-man). It's just Peter didn't have the habit of sharing information randomly.

He just didn't know how to insert the information into the conversation.

He preferred being lowkey; just another kid on the block. In Peter's mind, he wasn't anyone particularly interesting, just plain, old Peter Parker.

This backfired.

Spectacularly.

Case in point, his internet fame and growing instagram account, his very flashy part-time job as Spider-man, his even flashier internship, and finally, and probably most telling, the press conference he was currently leading.

One thing you should know about Peter Parker is that he knew how to deflect the conversation, changing topics like a pro.

He was practically a master at it.

Deflection was his forte, as such, one of the first things people found at about him, via his internship, was that he was a god at PR.

The New Avengers had had another mission yesterday. Normally, they'd have a mission debrief and a press conference for the major battles to update the public. This particular mission was one of the deadlier ones, injuring most of the heroes and leaving the rest too busy with mission reports to handle the scheduled press conference.

Enter: Peter Parker.

Peter had had big exams lined up back-to-back nearly every day for the past week. As such, he had opted out of the mission, choosing to study and then, later, go on patrol. Essentially, holding down the fort.

This particular mission was the eradication of the final HYDRA base. If this one went well, they'd be able to completely eradicate HYDRA, or at least, suppress them for the foreseeable future. As such, most of the New Avengers went on the mission to make sure of its success.

It went surprisingly well until the HYDRA operatives made a last-ditch effort and threw out multiple bombs. It didn't kill anyone but there were some that went off prematurely in the air, causing some to receive some second-degree burns from the distance.

So here he was, bouncing on the balls of his feet from the nerves. The other Avengers were recuperating from the mission while the rest who didn't have too many bruises went to deal with the filing of the mission reports and arrests and whatnot. Honestly, Peter wasn't really too worried, he had sent his spiders army to watch over them.

What he was nervous about was this blasted press conference. And this itchy suit. And tie. And the amount of people. And the exam he had tomorrow. And a lot of things that just decided to appear in his brain on the very moment he stepped up to the podium, damn his idiotic genius brain.

Taking a deep breath, Peter calmed himself down and started to talk.

"Good morning, for those of you who aren't aware, my name is Peter Parker and I will be the acting representative for the Avengers today. Before I turn to today's meeting, I'd like to talk about our most recent recruits into the New Avengers Initiative. Recently, we have reinstated Mr. Sam Wilson and Mr. Scott Lang, otherwise known as the Falcon and Ant-man respectively, into our fold. In the coming month, we would also be welcoming some well-known vigilantes into the initiative. This would include Deadpool, Daredevil and Venom, among others. We will also be welcoming other international heroes which will be based in other NAI bases. This includes the wizards of Kamar Taj and Japanese superhero team, Big Hero 6, in our East Asia division."

Pausing after releasing the massive influx of new information, Peter waited for a few seconds to give the reporters time to take note. This would be very important information for the future.

Continuing to the main topic, he said, "Now, to the main topic of the morning. As per the norm when I'm handling the press conference, I'll be keeping this short and sweet; if you have any questions, please save them for later. Thank you." Flicking his hand, Peter presented the recent stats and results of the mission using a hologram. "The Avengers' most recent mission was located here," gesturing a point of the hologram displaying a map beside him, Peter continued, "It was to capture the last and one of the bigger HYDRA bases in the country. After this mission, HYDRA as a whole would be completely eradicated and if not, severely suppressed for the foreseeable future. The superheroes mainly comprised of the X-Men, Iron Man, Ant-Man, Wasp, Falcon, War Machine, and the Fantastic Four. Though some had received injuries with second degree burns at worst, there were thankfully no casualties on either side. All HYDRA acting operatives have been properly arrested and will be interrogated in the next few days. There has been little to no damage to properties outside of the HYDRA base, as well as zero counts of injuries among civilians. This concludes my report, are there any other questions?"

Stepping away from the hologram, Peter dismissed it and pointed to one of his go-to reporters, Georgio Hill. "Mr. Parker, you have cited the names of the other superheroes that appeared on this raid. Is there a particular reason for well-known New York vigilante, Spider-man's absence?"

Nodding, Peter subtly rearranged the cards in his hands. This particular question was one that he didn't prepare for but, nonetheless, knew how to answer. "Spider-man has opted out of this mission for personal reasons as well as making sure to hold down the fort for the absent superheroes. He continued his normal patrol as usual."

Pointing to another reporter from CNN, Peter said, "Yes?"

Raising her hand in acknowledgement, she shouted out, "Risa Wesley, CNN, Mr. Parker. You talked about welcoming multiple new faces into the initiatives, though only in the New York and East Asia branches. Will you not be welcoming superheroes in the other branches of the NAI?"

Looking at his cue card for a split second, Peter answered immediately. "Though I have mentioned new recruits into the branches in the US and East Asia only, it is notable that the branches in the rest of Asia, Europe, Africa and Australia are all doing well. In fact, there has been a significant decrease in crime in most areas of the world since their establishment last year. There is no need to introduce new recruits in other branches just yet."

And on it went.

For all his friendly and warm demeanor, Peter Parker was an absolute pro at handling the press. He was, after all, trained by the Queen of PR, Pepper Potts. As expected, the student always outshines the master, in the end.

For some reason, he had a talent in redirection, a skill he obtained while hiding his alter ego, though he still had trouble coming up with improvisation. This came as a big surprise to many, especially the sharp-eyed vultures in the audience.

Let it be known that in the entertainment industry, only the best of the best reporters survive to climb on top of the pack. You needed to be a master negotiator, maintain good connections, always find the weak points in the artist, be alert.

Peter Parker did not have these weak points.

Or, more accurately, the more experienced reporters noticed that the 'weak points' he was displaying were ones he already knew how to answer or would be purposely answered as redirection. In other words, it meant that Peter Parker was purposefully leaving specific weak points for the less experienced reporters to target.

Because Peter often stumbled over improvising answers, he had chosen this method to combat that. After all, it was always better to know exactly where the attack will come from rather than get taken off guard by weaknesses he didn't know he had.

It wouldn't be until well into the evening will the other reporters notice that aside from the information he had said in the main conference and other miniscule details, Peter Parker hadn't let slip any other information, juicy or otherwise.

This was how he had come to be known as the most tight-lipped person in the entertainment industry. Tony Stark's intern and personal assistant, Peter Parker. No matter how much heckling one did, how many questions he was asked or how flustered he appeared to be, there were never any scandals that occurred that Peter Parker didn't purposefully allow.

Sam Wilson didn't really hate Peter Parker. Their relationship, as a rule of thumb, were that of annoying brothers, always finding ways to rile each other up. Though it would look like they were enemies on the outside, those close to them knew that they treated each other like family, to the point that they wouldn't hold back at all.

This time, the conference Peter was leading was running late. Apparently, the press was particularly vicious today. Naturally, Sam took advantage of this when Peter turned up late for the first time since the New Avengers Initiative meetings started.

Seeing Peter arrive, Sam called out to the kid, goading playfully. "Hey, Spiderling, didn't think you'd arrive for the meeting today."

Looking at the man who Peter knew was definitely goading him, though without any malice, he replied with a straight face, snickering inside. "With Mr. Wilson still hard at work, us young people must naturally not fall behind." Just like his normal style of handling PR, his statement was short and succinct, hitting exactly where it hurt. Giving himself a nod, as if congratulating himself, he continued forward to sit on his normal chair.

Expression turning tumultuous, Sam muttered, "Who are you calling old, damn it." Leaning back onto his chair, he conceded his defeat. "Well played, Parker. Well played."

Beside him, Rhodey was trying to fight the growing urge to laugh, instead, he discretely gave Peter a thumbs up. As expected of the PR God, Peter Parker. He never failed to provide Rhodey some form of amusement. This kid was entertainment gold.

Across from them, Bucky snorts, prompting Sam to twist in indignation, "Why are you snorting at that, you damned fossil?! If anyone here is old, it's you!"

"Well, I'm not the one Peter called old, now, am I?"

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always a winner

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The next secret talent Peter had was winning.

Specifically, anything.

Absolutely anything.

Peter Parker, for all of his soft looks and child-like demeanor, was cutthroat in competitions.

Whether that be UNO, board games, sports, or academic decathlon, he was always, always going to go in for the kill when fired up.

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Now, the funny thing about being Spider-man was that Peter was unbelievably good at physics. Before he started out, he preferred chemistry, liking the different variables that are all so different and make so many different things.

However, being Spider-man meant that he'd have to know his angles by heart - one thing he had come to understand quite painfully. Not only that, Peter Parker, being someone who has superhuman strength that is on par or even surpasses the likes of Captain America, had to be acutely aware of the amount of power and strength he uses. Grab onto the table too hard? Broken table. Hit a guy with a little too much power? Dead guy. Accidentally add too much of the chemicals he was experimenting with that are highly reactive? Explosions.

It's safe to say that Peter had a pretty good handle on his strength.

This, however, was a fact that no one really noticed.

For some reason, people never really paid attention to the little details and logic that go into being Spider-man. As such, no one really knew that Peter had perfect control over his body. Sometimes, it was even to the point that he could adjust the force he used by percentage.

It wasn't noticed until, one day, during their field trip to the White House, they stayed at a nearby hotel which so happened to have a pool table.

A pool table that no one used.

Being in DC, the academic decathlon team wanted to 'wash away bad memories' by going out to celebrate. However, Peter had been having a headache for half the afternoon. If he was surrounded by any more teammates' chatter, he'd probably die.

Instead, he was left alone and, growing bored quite quickly, had decided to roam around the hotel.

This particular hotel stay was paid for by the president or his staff, he wasn't sure. Either way, it was top class. It had a pool, an amazing gym, a pool table and many more facilities.

What interested Peter most was the pool table.

He had wandered around the floor for a while until he discovered the pool table on the lower floors. Because this time of the year wasn't a very popular time for vacations, there weren't too many guests staying. As such, there weren't a lot of people milling about, freeing a pool table at the far corner.

Getting interested, Peter decided to play a little, just for fun, and see where it went.

Peter had a vague memory of Ben and May bringing him out to play a few times when he was younger. He had always liked the science behind the sport, amazed at the knowledge that even if he didn't have the skills to play football, he could, at least, play billiards and win on sheer luck and brains.

That was how his classmates found him.

Surrounded by a bunch of people, eagerly watching as Peter hit the ball, casually making a super-thin cut shot, and sinking the eight-ball in the corner pocket.

Behind him, his opponent, a man who would later turn out to be an owner of a billiards place in Queens, was slumped on his chair in defeat.

This was the fifteenth rack, and both were at 7-7. Peter broke and proceeded to pocket every single ball, not giving him a chance to get on the table.

Peter Parker, New York's favorite vigilante and Tony Stark's personal intern, was a lot of things.

Now, he was, apparently, a genius at pool.

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It never really occurred to Peter to tell anyone about this fact.

It wasn't like it was something he could just bring up during a conversation, right? Oh, Mr. Stark, I'm working on this new AI but also, ever heard of pool? Yeah, no.

So, in normal Peter Parker fashion, he had found himself in his current situation, not that he minded. Sam and Bucky were currently taunting him, telling him that he wasn't going to win in this month's game night for sure.

During the months that the New Avengers Initiative was established, monthly game night was established. To say it got intense was probably a bad description. Case in point, last month's get-together.

They had decided on board games that month and they were playing monopoly.

Much to everyone's surprise, Peter Parker had quickly amassed a fortune, getting property after property. Tony Stark had placed his Iron Man figurine on park place and had debated with its owner, Peter Parker.

One should know that when Peter played board games, it was kill or be killed. The kid always took the competition seriously, aiming for gold the whole time. He was so ruthless that one time, he placed down four +4 cards in one go during UNO, utterly straight-faced and with no regrets whatsoever.

Now here he was, getting money off of the resident billionaire, not unlike a drug pusher. "Give me the fucking money, Mr. Stark."

Chuckling nervously, Tony counted the money in his hands. They were pathetically low. "Peter, it's just park place."

"Yes, yes, it's just park place, I'm sure you can handle it, you billionaire playboy philanthropist. Now, give me your fucking money."

"What about I give you another LEGO set, kid."

"No, stop trying to bargain with me. It's going to go as well as the cake you stole from me."

"I said I was sorry!"

"And I said give me back my cake, but we don't all get what we want now do we." Extending his hand like a scammer, Peter stared Tony down. "Give me your fucking money, Tony."

Needless to say, everyone was a little, just a tiiiny bit wary of the kid.

As such, the heroes had all tried games that they felt Peter wouldn't excel in. This time, they had met up and had the brilliant plan to have a pool competition.

The heroes were sure that Peter had probably never played pool in his life. They'd win this for sure.

But as they watched Peter break the first rack and proceed to sink each and every ball into a pocket, for eight racks straight while making direct eye contact, they remembered that Peter Parker was the most competitive piece of shit they knew.

At this point, they didn't know why they kept trying.

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it's harder than you think

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The next thing one should know is that Peter was bad at keeping secrets.

One would ask, how could he possibly be bad at keeping secrets when he is Spider-man?!

Well, by misdirection, of course.

His philosophy?

Find something else that was so obnoxiously absurd yet still weirdly fitting.

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Peter was growing bored. It had been a slow day in school. He had to sit through chemistry and english classes he already knew and keep pretending that logarithmic functions were the most interesting thing to happen to this world since Jesus.

Now, he was melting into his table. Mr. Jones, his Physics teacher, though skilled, was, right now, equivalent to nothing more than a fly. His words were going in through Peter's ear then out the other. They were learning about velocity and what not. Normally, he could try and convince himself that the table was interesting and make up its life story to try and look interested in the class.

But today wasn't a good day.

For one, he had a long night of patrol. He had participated in a raid with the police and some NY vigilantes to take down the local drug trafficking ring once and for all. After that, he decided to go out on patrol like the overconfident bastard he was.

So, here he was, sporting a healing stab wound and a growing migraine.

Suddenly, Ned pokes him, bringing him out of the haze he had found himself in. "Pete, they're calling you out to the front."

Jolting, Peter hurriedly looks at his teacher who was giving him an unimpressed stare. "Nice to know you're finally with us, Mr. Parker." Pointing at the projection in front of him, he continued. "Since you feel that you could fall asleep in my class, please answer the question. An airplane accelerates down a runway at 3.20 meters per second squared for 32.8 seconds until it finally lifts off the ground. What is the distance travelled before takeoff?"

Standing up, Peter made some quick calculations in his head. If acceleration is 3.20 and time is 32.8 then, distance would be initial velocity, zero, multiplied by 32.8 added to 0.5 multiplied by 3.20 times 32.8 squared.

Turning to grab a paper, Peter reaches for his notebook and calculator, only to freeze, hearing a new voice. "Put your hands up in the air."

Looking up, Peter's eyes focused on the three men in front of him, pointing guns at the people in the room.

Slowly putting his hands near his pocket, Peter carefully took hold of the marbles inside. For the longest time, Peter had been using marbles as a way to either distract or focus on something. Being someone who has heightened senses, the world gets too much at times. So, he had found that focusing on the marbles gave him something to hone in on and zone everything else out.

Luckily, he had them today. He had been feeling fidgety this morning.

Grasping them firmly, Peter quietly took aim. Making eye contact with Ned, Peter slowly nodded, wordlessly telling his best friend that they'd be fine.

"Which one of you is Tony Stark's intern, Peter Parker?"

Focusing on the man who said so, Peter raised his other hand. Pretending to shake, he stuttered out, "T-that's me."

Staring intently, the man looked at the phone in his hand and back at Peter, most likely comparing their faces.

Nodding, he turned to the two behind him. "That's him. Take him to the base. We need him to get the money off of Stark."

With the leader turning away, Peter knew this was his chance. Taking a deep breath, Peter channeled a little more strength than what he'd normally use in school. Flicking three marbles, one after the other, at the men for a distraction, Peter quickly kicked the first man down.

One thing Peter learned in his work as a vigilante was that people tend to rely more on support. When one has a gun, he would rely on the gun and neglect other forms of protection like hand-to-hand combat.

These three were perfect examples of that, judging from the look of panic they were displaying as he kicked their leader down.

Quickly disarming them with effortless efficiency, he kicked the guns away, towards Ned. Not looking away from the fight, Peter already knew that Ned would have taken the guns. All three of them, Ned, MJ and Peter, learnt basic combat and being his guy-in-the-chair meant that he learnt nearly everything Peter knew as a vigilante too, albeit slower and with less magnitude.

Getting in close, Peter aimed a punch at his dick.

What? He was having a bad day and he was solving his physics problem peacefully! Sue him, he was feeling petty.

Choking from the pain of having his dick punched, the guy stumbled backwards onto his friend, effectively blocking the third from doing anything. Quickly tying the leader up in a piece of fabric torn from his shirt, Peter stood up and said, "Which of you wants to go first?"

Rushing him, the third guy throws a punch at him which Peter effectively redirected using some Muay Thai moves that he learned from Matt. Grabbing onto him, Peter kicked his right foot, tripping him.

Sitting on top of him, Peter restrained his arms. Looking towards the last guy cowering behind them, Peter raised a hand and beckoned him over. Two down, one to go.

Meeting him blow for blow, Peter quickly forced the man to retreat, gaining control over the fight. Then, he threw a punch which the man parried. Hearing the man gasping for breath, Peter knew that his stamina was nearly finished. Getting closer, Peter placed his hands on his shoulder, and sent him off balance, judo flipping him to the floor.

Behind him, Peter's classmates watched his muscles bunch up and contract, his ripped shirt giving them a view of Peter's virgin-sacrifice-worthy abs rippling with strength. Mentally swooning, they all tried to look away.

They couldn't.

Samantha muttered to herself lowly, "I am not interested in men. I am not interested in men. I am not interested in Peter Parker. I am gay. I am not interested in men."

Making sure to tie him up, Peter caught his breath. Standing up, Peter was met with deafening silence.

Turning to get his calculator that fell on the floor, Peter said, "My answer is 1720 meters."

Then sat back down.

As if nothing happened.

Flabbergasted, Peter's classmates just stared at him open-mouthed. Shaking herself from her stupor, Betty addresses the elephant in the room. "Peter, how did you do that?"

Abruptly freezing at the question, Peter is reminded that he was, in fact, in school and he wasn't wearing his suit.

Right now, he was Peter Parker and not Spider-man.

But Peter Parker just beat a guy up. What the fuck was he supposed to say? Oh, I'm actually Spider-man?! Nope.

Racking his brains for an acceptable answer, he stutters out, "O-oh, I'm aspiring to be a... stunt... double..."

Making a disbelieving expression, his teacher asks, voice deadpan, "a stunt double?"

Nervously running his hand through his hair, he chuckles weakly. "Yeah, it is... a new... side... hustle..."

Tapping his phone, Peter notifies Tony of the situation with a brief 'I beat up three guys. Please pick them up.' and promptly shut his phone down.

Behind him, his classmates nod slowly. It did make sense slightly. Peter Parker had abs sculpted by god, a brain worthy of Jesus and apparently, the martial arts to make you grovel. It was a logical conclusion that Peter would get into the entertainment industry.

It wasn't as if he was some superhero. He wasn't Spider-man.

Right?

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Later, when Tony flies to the school to ask about the situation, his teacher would tell him that Peter had a promising career in his chosen field in the entertainment industry.

Turning to the boy in question, Tony asks, "Kid, I thought you were aiming for MIT? Why did they just tell me that you were going into the movie industry as a stunt double?"

Sweatdropping, Peter chuckles nervously, "Mr. Stark, I am very bad at improvisation."

Taking off his shades, Tony gave Peter a deadpan look, "Peter, you are literally known as the PR god."

Looking away, sulking, he muttered, "That's different."

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Author's Note: this was originally posted on AO3 on June 28, 2021. constructive criticism and feedback are appreciated! if you have any prompts or requests, hmu! <3