I'm Still Breathing

Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-man (Tom Holland Movies)

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Characters: Tony Stark | Iron Man, James Rhodes | War Machine, Peter Parker | Spider-man, Happy Hogan

Tags: BAMF Peter Parker, Peter saves Tony in Siberia, James Rhodes is a good friend, Tony Stark needs a hug

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Brief Warning: as seen in the tags, Peter saves Tony in Siberia so, there will be mentions of blood and violence in this fic. proceed with caution

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Tony woke up to too-bright lights and white walls all around him. It felt suffocating. But, he supposed, this was a feeling he was used to. Being Tony Stark and Iron Man and genius, playboy, philanthropist was just so tiring sometimes.

Sometimes, when he ran out of ideas and things to distract himself with, his monsters would catch up to him and pull, pull, pull him down, suffocate him until he was left a broken, tangled mess of problems and issues he couldn't bring himself to touch.

Idly, he wondered why heaven (or was it hell?) looked so boring. He always imagined heaven to have a singing orchestra 24/7. Hearing a snore beside him, he turned his attention to his side. Beside him was his best friend, Rhodey, asleep on an obviously uncomfortable chair. Looking at his legs, Tony remembered the effects this battle had on Rhodey.

He wouldn't be able to walk.

Turning to the window on the other side of the room, Tony frowned guiltily. He was going to be able to walk again. Tony would make sure of it. Even if he had to think up a whole new concept of technology to do it.

He had been blinking blearily for a while now. It was early in the morning, perhaps, based on the lack of birds calling and the faintest ray of light showing through the window, it was too early.

He would admit, here in the safety of his hospital room, best friend beside him, that he was emotionally compromised in Siberia. As he had lied in snow, bleeding red, red, red, he had done some introspection, some thinking into his character and person.

Both Tony and Steve were compromised. Tony had asked a child to help with this capture. Granted, he believed that they could have talked it out and brought Peter as a back-up plan, it doesn't excuse what happened.

He put Peter in danger. Willingly and without the permission of his guardian.

Not only that, Tony went against the Accords to help Rogers out somehow in Siberia, though that didn't turn out... well.

Still, after doing some thorough thinking, Tony could freely say that he still thought that siding with the Accords was the right thing to do.

Sure, they still needed to work a few things out in the Accords, but, ultimately, the thought and the essence of that document was still needed. The Avengers needs something to keep them in check, otherwise they'd just be glorified villains.

Maybe it was because of his many experiences with betrayal and schemes, Tony knew that you couldn't just trust the word of one man.

He needed evidence; proof. Otherwise, they couldn't call off the investigation of Barnes. No one is above the law, after all.

Tony would willingly say that he made mistakes here. No matter his intention to talk at Leipzig, he should have prepared for the fight; warned the kid or something. Steve was a stubborn man, however, given Steve's rumored talent in strategy, Tony thought Steve would listen after discussion.

Who knew that as long as it was James Buchanan Barnes involved, all strategy and rational thinking Steve had would fly out the window?

"Tony?"

Turning to Rhodey who was rubbing the sleep from his eyes, Tony stared at his friend. Rhodey had eye bags worse than that one time they forgot to study for midterms way back in college. He looked tired, defeated. Tony didn't know what to make of that.

"Hey, Honeybear."

"Tony!" Sitting up straighter, Rhodey belatedly realized that Tony was, in fact, awake. Remembering that he had to report to Helen about Tony being awake, he looked to the ceiling out of habit, though it was unnecessary, really. Friday would have heard him regardless. " Friday, can you notify everyone?"

"I have notified Dr. Cho and Miss Potts. Dr. Cho and Miss Potts are on their way. Peter has just arrived at the tower an hour ago from patrol and has fallen asleep. It seems like I couldn't wake him up. I will notify him once he gets adequate rest."

"Hey, fri." Tony smiled softly at nothing. It was good to hear FRIDAY.

"Hey, boss."

Taking in the state of his body, Tony realized that he looked practically dead. Looking at his hands, Tony noticed they were no longer blue from the cold but still looked sickly. "Care to catch me up, Platypus?"

Noticing Tony finally looking at his self, Rhodey sighed deeply. This was going to be a conversation. "You... Tony, I don't know how to tell you this. You've been in a coma for around 25 days now."

"What."

Tony couldn't quite process what Rhodey was saying. 25 days? He was out for 25 days?!

"Tony, I need you to breathe, man."

"I-" Taking a deep breath, Tony cleared his throat. "I've been asleep for 25 days?! How did I even get here?"

Bracing for the inevitable, Rhodey took a deep breath and said, "Peter brought you here."

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Feeling his senses tingle, Peter looked around the hotel room curiously, dread pooling in his stomach. He hasn't felt this since that night . There wasn't anything around him that indicated that something bad was about to happen. So, why would it act up now?

There was something he wasn't seeing.

There was something wrong. There had to be.

Deciding he wanted a second opinion, he called Happy from the other room. "Hey, Mr. Happy?"

"What." Grumpily staring at him in his bath robe and eye mask, Happy grumbled unhappily.

"Is there anything that seems off to you, by any chance?"

"Kid, what are you talking about."

"Oh, it's just I have this sort of weird sense for when something is about to go bad. Sometimes, it's just like eating expired food but sometimes, it's like... bad. It's been going off and the last time I felt it... was the day my uncle died."

Finding the kid was serious, Happy invited him in. "I don't think there's anything wrong here."

"Did anyone we team up with go somewhere dangerous or something? I just don't want to take any chances."

"Well, Tony left a while ago to help out Rogers with the extra super sold-" Eyes widening in realization, Happy looked at Peter who had a similar expression of horror on his face.

Patting his pants for his phone, Happy opened the app for his location.

Cannot connect. Location: Unknown.

Something was wrong.

Something was very, very wrong.

Looking up from his phone, Happy said, pale and hands shaking. "I can't locate Tony."

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Peter scrambled for his laptop. Happy was off making calls and calls and calls until he realized that FRIDAY probably knew his last location.

The problem was they didn't have contact or access to her at the moment.

Luckily, Peter had decided to bring his laptop in case he had time to do his homework after and before the fight.

Loading the screen, Peter got to work.

...Accessing 5%...

...Accessing 13%...

...Accessing 34%...

...Accessing 72%...

...Accessing 98%...

...Accessed 100%... Connecting... connecting...

"Protocol Alice in Wonderland engaged. What is your purpose?"

The distinct voice of FRIDAY, Mr. Stark's AI rang across the small hotel room, freezing both Happy and Peter in place.

"Miss Friday, this is Peter Parker... er... Spider-man. Do you know if Mr. Stark's vitals are ok? We had a feeling that he might not be."

"Mr. Parker, I am unable to take Boss' vitals however, approximately 2 minutes ago, all systems suddenly shut down. Boss' last check was reaching severely injured. I am currently trying to reconnect."

Panicking slightly, Peter calmed his heart. That meant Mr. Stark could still possibly be alive. If they were going to do something about this, he'd have to do so calmly.

"Do you know where his last location was?"

"Yes. His last location was in Siberia."

"Please take me to him."

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"Happy, we won't make it in time! The jet would take too long to land at this rate. We need to get there yesterday!"

"Do you think I don't know that? Here," Shoving a first aid kit to Peter, Happy silently cried, voice strangled and hoarse. "Your suit has a parachute. If you jump out now, Friday can guide you there and you can provide some first aid, or CPR. Please,"

Begging the kid, Happy looks at him with pleading eyes. "Please save Tony."

Steeling his resolve, Peter nodded. "I'll do my best."

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Seeing Mr. Stark, bleeding red yet turning blue, Peter's stomach couldn't help but lurch. Mr. Stark, in Peter's mind, was invincible; this unstoppable force.

But right there, in the depth of winter out in the cold Siberian night, Peter realized that Tony Stark wasn't as invincible as Peter thought. He wasn't some unstoppable force.

There, in a bunker out in Siberia, Peter knew that one man couldn't possibly lift the world. Tony Stark was human, just like everyone else.

Yet somehow, as he bandaged his wounds as best as he could, Peter didn't feel disappointed in that knowledge at all.

Carrying the man after properly stabilizing him and with the approval of FRIDAY, injured and pale (but breathing, oh, he was breathing, thank god. Thank god!), Peter stopped at the entrance, watching as Happy landed the jet and ran out.

Looking to Peter, Happy searched for a sign, grief evident on his face. "He's alive."

Staring into Spider-man's eyes, dependable and bright, Happy let out the breath he had been holding in all this time.

Watching as Peter brought Tony into the jet, as he walked with his back towards Happy, Happy couldn't help but envision something else. He saw a glimpse, of what he didn't know.

What he did know, however, was that that future was going to center around this kid, this wonderful, dependable kid.

Peter Parker.

Knowing this, Happy couldn't help but let the tension in his frame seep out a little bit.

Tony will be okay.

He had to be.

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It takes 12 hours to finish the surgery. 13 hours in total to get Tony to stabilize.

For the two people sitting on cold, metal chairs outside the operating room in the cold dark night, it takes a lifetime.

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For the longest time, Tony had always believed in the power of ability. As long as you could do it better; as long as you did it yourself, you don't owe anyone anything.

But, he had stood in the ruins of Sokovia; had been the only one on his team aside from Rhodey who had helped the reconstruction and restoration efforts.

He had seen what destruction could do.

Now, Tony had always had some semblance of belief in accountability.

He had, after all, committed to the role of Iron Man and revamped the whole of Stark Industries to do better, to make up for his oversight.

So, after seeing the destruction that the Avengers caused, both in Sokovia and other missions, Tony decided that he would have to commit fully into this belief.

What use was saving people if they didn't want to be saved?

Everyone felt unsafe with the Avengers, always checking whether their houses or businesses were destroyed because of their carelessness. As a businessman, Tony knew clearly that even if they were able to save a man but, in the process, destroy his source of livelihood, they were still essentially dooming him.

The Accords would help with that.

The Accords could help with that.

Sure, it had bits and pieces that he wasn't totally agreeable with but everyone knew that it was easier to break something down from the inside.

The Accords were open to amendments and if he wanted to really be heard, he'd first have to be on the table to be heard.

So, he decided to sign.

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"I messed up, Rhodey." Staring at his friend who was looking out the window blankly, defeated, James couldn't help but sigh. "I messed up."

"You didn't, Tones."

"You don't understand! I tried to hurt them!"

Maneuvering his wheel chair to be beside his friend who was working himself up to a panic attack, he replied firmly. "I know. But, Tony, you have to understand that he hurt you. They both did; Steve especially. You are allowed to lash out."

"I nearly killed them, Rhodey!"

"But, you didn't. I know you, Tones. Barnes and Rogers... all they have going for them are drugs and magically earned muscles. You and I... we're scientists. Both of us know that you could have killed them with your tech if you really wanted to."

Seeing his friend open his mouth to argue, Rhodey soldiered on. "You made some mistakes. I get it, really. The fault wasn't entirely on them. But, you just saw your parents die with their killer in the same room."

"Don't get me wrong. I'm not absolving you, alright? I'm saying I understand. You have a long way to go, man. We can start with therapy or maybe even send a letter to Barnes when you're ready."

Looking in Tony's eyes, James tells him, reassurance and support evident in his voice. "All we can do is move forward now, Tony. Let's start over. Maybe work on SI stuff more, hang out with your kid, Peter. We'll move forward and better ourselves, you and everyone too. But for now," patting his best friend's arm, Rhodey said. "For now, you are entitled to grieve."

Hearing this, Tony's eyes burn insistently until a tear rolls down his face. How long has it been since someone told him that it was okay to mess up? For the first time in a long, long time, Tony takes the first step towards healing: he admits that he has a problem.

For the first time in a long, long time, Tony was able to breathe.

Closing his eyes to prevent more from falling, he whispers. "Okay. Let's move forward."

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Author's Note: this was originally posted on AO3 on May 19, 2021. constructive criticism and feedback are appreciated! if you have any prompts or requests, hmu! <3

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