Oof I'm hella bad at naming stuff but oh whale

Enjoy my dudes

••••

"PETER WHY THE EVER LOVING F*CK DO YOU HAVE A FLASHLIGHT IN YOUR STOMACH?!"

"I DiDn'T mEaN tO Mr. StArK iT wAs An AcCiDeNt! ......mOsTlY...."

*record scratches*

*freezes frame*

Captain America struts in full uniform in front of the screen. He sits down in a chair that literally appeared out of nowhere and stares blankly at the audience.

"So, Peter swallowed a flashlight."

Six hours earlier

It is universal knowledge that Peter Parker is a Grade A klutz. He truly tries to do better, but good ole Parker Luck tends to bite him in the butt.

Midtown High was currently having a fundraiser for the decathlon team. They were selling cheap trinkets that were poorly manufactured in some distant country and worth only a few cents. This week, it was Peter and MJ's turns to work the booth during lunch hours.

MJ sat silently while reading. Poor Peter tried desperately to be a good salesman. He demonstrated some of the products such as smencils, small calculators, and keychain flashlights that were impressively bright. The entire thing lit up and was roughly the size of one's palm. However, they had a habit of turning on by simple movements. You could flick one without even touching the button and it would turn on. Despite the flaw, they were the bestsellers (although Peter thought the smencils were way cooler).

To Peter's dismay, Flash just had to show up not long after Peter just sold two more items. Things were going pretty well and he was feeling rather proud of his sales-pitching skills.

"Hey there Penis. Have you sold anything yet? Of course the only way you could ever support the team would be to man this pathetic fundraiser."

"Shut up, Flash. Your two brain cells couldn't keep up with Parker even if they did manage to work together to form a decent thought," MJ snapped, not even looking up from her book.

Flash just growled and looked down at the junk. He decided to buy a flashlight and leave, but not without sending a cruel glare to Peter. He turned back to his "friends" and smirked. They shuffled over to a corner and pretended to just idly chat.

"Thanks MJ-"

"HEY PENIS, LIGHTEN UP" Flash yelled as he chucked the plastic flashlight across the room.

Why did Parker Luck have to be so evil...?

Somehow while Peter was speaking, the light managed to shoot into his mouth and down his throat mid sentence. Peter chocked for a second...

And then he swallowed the flashlight.

He. Swallowed. The. Flashlight.

Son of b-

"PETER ARE YOU OKAY?" MJ asked with unusual concern in her voice. Flash just paled at the poor boy frozen from shock.

Oops.

He didn't mean to send the thing hurling down Parker's windpipe, just to bop him on the head. Flash did the one thing he was good at: running. He took off down the hall and as far away as he could get.

Peter went to the nurse but she was no help whatsoever.

"Well honey I don't know what to tell ya," she began. "You might just need to wait til it passes through." The nurse cringed slightly at how awkward the situation was. The light was rather small, so it wasn't a big worry, right?

Peter just nodded and tried to exit the building as quickly as he could. Thankfully it was the end of the day so he could just go home and-

Wait, no he couldn't.

Internally smacking himself, Peter remembered Aunt May was gone on a work trip for the next three weeks in Canada. He was staying at the Avengers tower until she got back.

Hopefully nothing will go wrong... he thought to himself.

"Heya, Pete! What's up?" Clint said cheerfully as Peter walked into the kitchen.

"Hey Uncle Clint."

"Bucky and I are gonna start another prank war soon. Wanna join?"

"Um... maybe next time. Mr. Stark still isn't happy about the last incident," Peter chuckled, slightly nervous. Last time he was a part of a prank war, the entire living room was coated head to toe in glitter. We will not go into details. It was a dark and unsettlingly sparkly day in the tower.

Peter took off to his room. He quickly jogged up the stairs with a bounce in his step. Suddenly, his stomach started to illuminate under his shirt.

That's new.

*le grand time skip of two hours*

Tony and Bruce were having their usual Science Bros session. They were on the verge of a new discovery! However, it took a great deal of energy to perform the needed experiments so every outlet available was plugged up. DUM-E was joyfully handing Tony tools with happy beeps. The bot wasn't perfect, but meant the world to Stark.

"Alright," Bruce said as he helped weld some pieces of metal together, "everything should go smoothly as long as we don't-"

BAM

"Why do I even try..."

The entire tower went dark. For the second time this week, the two managed to accidentally shut off all power by overwhelming the circuits. (Not sure if that makes sense or works or whatever but eh. I'm trying to word things better and smarter)

"BY ODIN'S BEARD! THE SUN SET UNUSUALLY FAST!" Thor cried from some place in the tower.

"TIN CAN WHAT DID YOU DO?"

"Aww man I dropped my arrows..."

"AVENGERS! Assemble in the living room!"

Everyone made there way to the living room as cautiously as possible. It wasn't too late into the night but still rather difficult to see.

"So, uh, Brucey and I may have used too much power..."

"I can't see a thing! Tony, fix this!"

"Does anyone have a flashlight?"

"DON'T WORRY GUYS I GOT THIS!" Peter cheered as he began to violently shake. His abdomen once again illuminated, shocking everyone.

Now, back to where we began...

"PETER WHY THE EVER LOVING F*CK DO YOU HAVE A FLASHLIGHT IN YOUR STOMACH?!"

"I DiDn'T mEaN tO Mr. StArK iT wAs An AcCiDeNt! ......mOsTlY...."

Tony looked like he was about to faint at any given moment. Clint had managed to find some candles and flashlights by now and soon everyone was crowded around the young Avenger, trying to figure out just how in the world a flashlight got inside him.

Peter anxiously explained the earlier events of the day, stomach still slightly glowing. By the time he finished, half of the Avengers were plotting Flash's "accidental" death while the others were racking their brains to decide how they were gonna get the thing out.

Well, everyone else was being serious.

Clint was on the floor howling. His face and eyes red from laughing so hard.

Eventually Dr. Strange was called and with the work of portals and "wizard stuff" as Tony would call it, the flashlight was gone and in the trash.

"Never make me do that again," he stated before swiftly leaving.

••••

Ayyyye chapter two! Slightly better!

Ok ya bye

;)